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cs19724
08-03-2004, 07:42 PM
I happened to see a few movies, one of them was called 'Unfaithful'. For those of you who havent seen this movie, here is a brief outline. Its about a family - Husband, wife and kid. Everything seems to be perfect and they are happy with each other. They live in the suburbs of Chicago. The wife happens to meet another guy who lives in the city and has an affair with him. She cheats on her husband, feels guilty, but continues to see this other guy. She finally realizes she cannot do it anymore and decides to call it off with the other guy. By this time, the husband figures that his lady is not entirely his and sneaks up on her and disovers the affair. The rest of the movie is about how he deals with it and what happens in the end.

It so happened that a series of movies that I watched revolved around similar story lines. Wives cheating on husbands and vice versa. Though it is quite common(no offence meant here) for us to see movies involving the guys straying away, I was quite baffled when I saw women doing this. I dont mean to argue or contest that women are better than men when it comes to moral values. I agree that it is quite possible in both cases, especially in the west. (maybe all over)

I had a few questions regarding Indian tradition and indian women....

Did indian women, atleast in the previous generations , remain loyal to their spouses only because they did not have the oppurtunity to move freely with their opposite sex? The men were the one who were more promiscous in those times. So is that were our so called traditional moral values come from? If not for the confinement, would it have been the case that women would have also strayed away from their spouses. If so, would we have anything called 'tradition' ?


Caught in thoughts,
-cs

P.S : If this is offensive or unacceptable to any members, I apologize. The question was raised only to obtain public opinion.
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ferny
08-03-2004, 09:44 PM
I'm not sure if it was a matter of confinement that women didn't have affairs. I think it is because women relied so much on thier husbands for food, shelter etc that they didn't have the luxury of having an affair and getting thrown out of the house by their husbands. I don't think society would have looked favorably on that women either. Also marriage was considered more sacred than it is nowadays.

cs19724
08-04-2004, 06:27 PM
1. previous generations the SOCIETY taught the woman, kanavane kankanda theivam like all bullshits....woman never had any freedon as such...though they had respect its like jail life they lived in...but they accepted 100% what they lived on...so there were lesser issues like traditional nor cultural...

2. MOST or MANY of the women doesnot cheat JUST becoz if its exposed to the public their NAME will be spoiled

3. Slowly but definitely that VALUES are falling...thats when some idiots shouts ALL TRADITIONAL vaules are getting spoiled...it has beeen in the social life MORE men cheat or openly have extra-marital affairs than women...but no talks about it at all...

what does this mean? is it good or bad?
no need to argue upon that...life will go like a wheel...everything has to go on a change...and it will....

so..... :wink:

RaasuKutty
08-04-2004, 06:38 PM
previous generations the SOCIETY taught the woman, kanavane kankanda theivam like all bullshits....


kanavane kankanda theivam bullshits aa.. kali kaalam daa idhu... :sm18: :sm18:

personally, extra-marital affairs are more of morality issues than traditional or cultural... I am not sure but do any tradition or culture force/allow extra-marital affairs???? I dont think so..

cs19724
08-04-2004, 06:46 PM
intha kalathula enga ponnunga kanavane kan kanda theivamnu irukkanga.. :ee:

apdi ellame abstract aagumpothu, palamoligalum abstract aagi bulshit aagnuthunga :sm12:

vennai1
08-05-2004, 07:55 PM
If so, would we have anything called 'tradition' ?



tradition will always be there... it does not depend on
one person's behavior. rather the behavior and morale of
the society as a whole.
and women straying away might not have been that
frequent statistacally speaking, but still wud have happenned.
it does not debase our social ethics/morals as a whole! :nono:

silican
08-06-2004, 03:40 AM
Tht was funny....For your information, AIDS case was first noted in Tamilnadu when one of the Sozha maharani had some mysterious disease, cos she had an affair with the "yaanai paagan" She was cured using Nannari (yes! Sharbat) root extracr by some siddha doctor but later the king beheaded her for cheating.

Silican

vennai1
08-06-2004, 07:13 PM
vishnu, quite interesting... but we know abut aids for less than 30 years
only :think: might be it is an old disease with a new name ! :think:

sri_gan
08-06-2004, 08:56 PM
Cs,

Kanavane Kann kanda Deivam is not a bullshit, Nalla read panni athoda artham purincha appadi thoonathu... but modern trend and super vegam and ore kuzhappam.. athan nenga appadi sollurenga...

No Indian men is expecting a Indian women to treat him like a God, its just a piece of moral.. most of the old times men will elder in age than a women when they are getting married and it could be an intial tag to give him a respect and if there is huge difference for the initial ages its nothing wrong.

But the current society trend thinks women also can come out and do what they want, a small reminder most women are weaker in strength than a man and potentially it creates a vulnerability... its like expecting all fingers in same shape if people in society are like fingers.

Apart from that thinking of independence is great thought, its the nature's twist in relationship to give a surface all explained in that movie including a hidden dependency.... at the end of the day its your personal option how ever you want to life.

Men or Women they don't achieve anything by independence except the fact they use it as a medium to express.

Shy
08-06-2004, 10:34 PM
I had a few questions regarding Indian tradition and indian women....

Did indian women, atleast in the previous generations , remain loyal to their spouses only because they did not have the oppurtunity to move freely with their opposite sex? The men were the one who were more promiscous in those times. So is that were our so called traditional moral values come from? If not for the confinement, would it have been the case that women would have also strayed away from their spouses. If so, would we have anything called 'tradition' ?

CS,

I dont think we can define our traditions for either one partner betraying the other. Even if the guys had been doing this for a long while just because they have the chance is not a tradition. Whatever we see is an individuals act. IThai oorla thaan raman was there and so was krishna. So if a guy want to be a one-woman person he can be.

So I say its about character flaw in an individual who chose to do these things and it has nothing to do with tradition.

Shy

cs19724
08-09-2004, 07:45 PM
I just have got to make this stop at this point as I conclude that,

People just do it cos they want to. As far as traditions those are just 'best practices that were passed down. My 2 cents :wink:

Now dont tell me they WERE not BEST PRACTICES....they were male dominant RULES :wink:

The reason I said best practices it because those worked: Think about it from the stand point of a kid, would it rather face a situation where its mom cheats on its dad or its dad cheat on its mom. Which do you think will rock the foundation of the family. There is your answer :evil:

sri_gan
08-09-2004, 07:52 PM
There is your answer [glow=red:2dd2b5a27f]:evil:[/glow:2dd2b5a27f]


Cs,

:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: ippa yaar nenga [glow=red:2dd2b5a27f]:evil:[/glow:2dd2b5a27f] nu sollurenga????

cs19724
08-09-2004, 07:56 PM
There is your answer [glow=red:b132f0cae3]:evil:[/glow:b132f0cae3]


Cs,

:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: ippa yaar nenga [glow=red:b132f0cae3]:evil:[/glow:b132f0cae3] nu sollurenga????

I said your, not mine :wink:

sri_gan
08-09-2004, 07:58 PM
There is your answer [glow=red:810fae68ae]:evil:[/glow:810fae68ae]


Cs,

:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: ippa yaar nenga [glow=red:810fae68ae]:evil:[/glow:810fae68ae] nu sollurenga????

I said your, not mine :wink:

Athunala than thirumba kekuren... antha image a oruthanga kuthakaikku eduthu irrukanga... athu theriyuma?

cs19724
08-09-2004, 08:06 PM
yaarunnu solrengala.. copyright konjam ketta pakren :wink:

sri_gan
08-09-2004, 09:54 PM
yaarunnu solrengala.. copyright konjam ketta pakren :wink:

Yakka... intha CS nalla kusumbhu pannarar innanu kelunga... avaru ethukku antha devil padam unga postukku next a pottu irrukarunu kelunga....

Priyam2004
08-09-2004, 10:30 PM
Which society is this topic related to...??? :Ksp: I ask cos' there's a huge difference to the term 'being unfaithful and cheating' between the 2 cultures...ie: Western and Eastern...!!!!

In the Western society men and women are treated the same...equal shares - both ways...regardless of gender...'cheating' is the main aspect....not the fact whether they're male or female...!!! It doesn't matter...man or woman....the one who cheats is considered to be in the wrong....that's logical & fair.

In the Eastern society...before thinking of the 'being unfaithful/cheating' part - they see 'who' it is...if it's the male...then that's considered as 'not so bad'. The funny thing abt it is...if the guy goes with another women and is unfaithful to his wife...the wife gets the blame...yeap the wife...not so much the guy - who walked away with another girl, but the wife gets the blame for not being good wife to him (they'll say : "Unnoda purushan'ae unnaku vachuka theriya'illai...etc...and all sorts of dialogues"). On the other hand if the female cheats on her husband (if she dared)...she'll not only get the blame, but she'll be treated like a 3rd class citizen by the whole society, her family will get a bad name, she will be cursed for the rest of her life...and in the end she would end up living a very unhappy life full of guilt. If this is the treatment she's going to get then seriously would any girl cheat/be unfaithful to her husband, is it really worth it??? Nahhhh.... :snooty: :snooty: :snooty:

However, slowly things are changing in the East.....for the better! ;)

Shy
08-09-2004, 11:11 PM
yaarunnu solrengala.. copyright konjam ketta pakren :wink:

Yakka... intha CS nalla kusumbhu pannarar innanu kelunga... avaru ethukku antha devil padam unga postukku next a pottu irrukarunu kelunga....

naan thaan athu CS.. but since :evil: it bit lagging in the race for smileys.. u can very well use it ;) sri ooda smiley (:sm12:)'a seekarum win pananum ;) so i will lease it for ya, u can use it.. copyright enkita thaan irukkum :D

okvaa deal :)

Shy

katteri
08-09-2004, 11:34 PM
CS:

There are few cases reported in history of extra marital affairs...

Women were forced to do this...

When two kings are on war,the king who wins the war will marry a girl[usually princes]( king who lost will give his daughter to have a peace settlement and the king will continue to rule his country).The Girl will become one of the 1000 queens in the emperor's palace( so called in tamil Andhapuram).
I have read of few extra marital affairs in vikramathiyan and vedhalam, moghal histories.

Princes who were in deep love with other province prince were seperated due to this peace settlement process....

A king can have 1000 wives, but a queen cant have two husbands....(except panchali)....thats irony

cs19724
08-10-2004, 06:40 PM
Vikramathiyan and vedhalam are fantasy characters or they were true chars :sm19:

katteri
08-10-2004, 07:33 PM
Vikramathiyan and vedhalam are fantasy characters or they were true chars :sm19:
Ujjain kali koil pona Fantasy characters a nnu santhegam ezhuppum .....nanum appadi than ninaichen but unmaiya irukkalam nu thona vaikuthu ...Cant be scientifically proven...

cs19724
08-10-2004, 07:40 PM
the true case must be, after the temple was built, this story might have been written :wink: