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GoodBoy
10-07-2004, 04:35 PM
hi all.............

....... a thought came to my mind yesterday..........

do we love just once in our life??????????????? or is it ever happening.........ever changing......

why many people cant stick to 1 .............y?

is it mind's game or heart or both?

i wud really like to know more............

wat do say guyz n gals..........

do share ur views.....

RaasuKutty
10-07-2004, 05:54 PM
We tend to get attracted by lot of ppl but only a longer stand helps to really understand about the kind of relationship... Generally we orient to 1 (or 2-3 :ahha: :ahha:) person but Nothing stops us for anything beyond these numbers too....

Priyanka
10-07-2004, 06:10 PM
Entha love-a kurippidareenga sarv! Atha sollunga mothalla? You can even love your parents, sisters and brothers. If you are talking about that love, one person can love any number of human beings. The list will be countless.

But if you are speaking about romantic love, if it is a genuine love, it can happen only once in a persons life time. If your loving partner dies or separates from you due to so many reasons, and if your love is genuine you can never fall in romantic love in your whole life time. This is my view.

goodcomplanboy
10-07-2004, 06:21 PM
Its a quite complicated term saraaa. Romantic love pathi pesuromne vechuppome. True Love'ndrathu you can never define. Its more of a relative term. Ovoruthangale poruthu irukku.

If you ask me, I would say True Love comes only once in life (or twice or thrice or... :sm12:). Well intha alavukku ellam romba think pannathu ille.

Kaathal kaathal, kaathal illaye saathal'ndra loosu thanathayellam I wouldnt believe.

But sometimes, oru feeling varum, of course brain'le thaan (entha padu baavi kaathal heart'le irukkunnu sonnano.... poor heart it just pumps the blood, only brain can think). Antha feelings thaan true love'nu ellarum believe panrom.

Etho onnu, irunthuttu pogattum, I have to meet one of my girlfriend @ 4:00 PM today, so I got to wrap up my work and then I cannot miss the movie with my other girlfriend tommorrow. Neraya committments enna panrathu :wink:

ps: enna solla varennu puriyale ille, infact enakkum puriyale :sm12:

Teena
10-07-2004, 06:26 PM
Love can happen many times in one's life.It's all depends upon the person,situation,lifestyle,etc .There is no hard and fast rules like one should love only one person.Of course, one should love only one person at a time. :ahha:

Side track: sarvnaa,jothika avatar super......wow!!! the picture is lenghty. :ee:

silican
10-07-2004, 06:42 PM
Neenga Thamizh cinemapaakradhe illaya ? Indha madhiri Question ellam Vikraman padam, Murali padam paatheenganna varaadhey ? :think:

Silican

vasan
10-07-2004, 06:52 PM
Kaathal kaathal, kaathal illaye saathal'ndra loosu thanathayellam I wouldnt believe.


:00: :00:

Hey, dude.. :evil: So you think Bharathiyar was 'loose' do you? :evil: :evil:

Sara..

Why all this yosanai and all.. :Ksp: Enjoy pannu man.. :wink: More the merrier.. :ahha:

v-

ps: If you want a serious answer.. Yes. You can. And yes, I am talking about TRUE (agmark certified.. :ahha: ) love.. Matured, serious, live for each other love.. :).. If it doesn't, there is no way a person who has lost his/her spouse could remarry..

Priyanka
10-07-2004, 07:23 PM
If you re-marry after your spouse dies it shows that you did not have any true affection or love for that person and you only married for that purpose. It is my view.

GoodBoy
10-07-2004, 07:28 PM
If you re-marry after your spouse dies it shows that you did not have any true affection or love for that person and you only married for that purpose. It is my view.

atha epadi neenga sola pochu....

kalyanam katinavanga elorum love panrathum ila...

kalayanam katathavanga elorum love panamalayum ila...

so eloraiyum ore mathiriya consider panathinga...ethanayo peru after wifes death second marraige panamalayum irukanga..

Priyanka
10-07-2004, 07:37 PM
Athaiye thaan naanum solren Sarv! Chumma perukku serndhu vazharavanga irukkanga. But aI am not talking about them. But some people (very rarely) realy love their spouses. Such persons will never think of re-marrying for sure. This hold good for both male and female. Athuvum kuzhanthai poranthathukkappuram eppadi thaan thiruppi marriage pannikka manasu varutho? Can't they sacrifice their life for their kids?

GoodBoy
10-07-2004, 07:40 PM
Athaiye thaan naanum solren Sarv! Chumma perukku serndhu vazharavanga irukkanga. But aI am not talking about them. But some people (very rarely) realy love their spouses. Such persons will never think of re-marrying for sure. This hold good for both male and female. Athuvum kuzhanthai poranthathukkappuram eppadi thaan thiruppi marriage pannikka manasu varutho? Can't they sacrifice their life for their kids?


Achacho neenga thapa purinchikitinga...


epovum divorced guys...avungaluku oru thunai venumnu marriage panikirathula...

kulanthaiku oru thaai(amma,mother) venumenu than marry panuranga. :wink:

vasan
10-07-2004, 07:48 PM
If you re-marry after your spouse dies it shows that you did not have any true affection or love for that person and you only married for that purpose. It is my view.

What is 'that' purpose? :? :?


'Nyways, glad you added that its your view. :wink:

Uyirulla varai oru ponna kaathalikkanum. Seththa piragum avalaiye ninaichchuttu thaan irukkanumaa enna? And to say that I married my first wife only for sex, is not right, because I really don't have to love her or marry her if all I am interested is sex.. Quite logical, actually.

To love some one, after the death of a spouse is not doing injustice to the diseased. Monogamy and love are meant for a living persob. As it goes.. until death do you part.. :b:

Yes, Karthis.. this is my point of view.. :P

Vasan

Priyanka
10-07-2004, 07:50 PM
kulanthaiku oru thaai(amma,mother) venumenu than marry panuranga.

Ithellam avanga solra nondi saaku. Yen etthanaiyo ladies husband setthu ponappuram kooda velaiyum parthundu kozhandhaigalaiyum gavanicchu valakkalaiya.

Ennoda husband-oda relation otthanga. 19 yrs. liye widow aayittaanga. Rendu pen kuzhandhainga verai. Avanga kuzhandhaingalaiyum parthukittu, degree padicchu mudicchu velaikku poi, pasangalai padikka vacchu aalaakkiyirukkaanga. Naan soldrathu oru 40 years back. Help-ukku aal kidaiyaathu. Ippo irukkara maadiri Cresh vasathiyum appo kidaiyaathu. Avanga enna rendam kalyaanama pannikkittaanga? Intha maadiri etthanaiyo examples. Innikkum etthanaiyo ladies velaikkum poikittu kuzhandhaigalum valatthukkittu thaan irukkaanga.

Ithuve naan onnu ketkuren. Kuzhandhaiyoda irukkara ladies (En kuzhandhaikku oru appa venum) appadinnu rendavathu kalyanam pannikkitta neenga otthupeengala?

GoodBoy
10-07-2004, 07:59 PM
Ammam...

neenga entha kalathula irukinga... :think:

ipo elam Husband ilathai pengale Marumanam panuranga :D ..pana soli advice panuranga...

neenga enana natupuram mathiri pesuringa... :ahha:

whether Herr oder Frau( ladies or gents) ithu common than. :D ..

yaru oruthar...life partner(husband or wife) miss paninalum ..thaniya than valanumnu avasiyam ila.. :00: :snooty:

so avugalukum manusan thane..avungalukum feelings undula.. :think:

athunala avunga kandipa marumanam pananum :D ...its my view

Priyanka
10-07-2004, 08:09 PM
Your idea will hold good until the husband or wife doesn't have children. But if they have children, they have to sacrifice their life for them. Children are more precious than our own feelings and needs. Just for our happiness we should not put the future of our kid to task. Ithu aan penn iru paalaarukkum porunthum. That is my view.

GoodBoy
10-07-2004, 08:11 PM
Neenga padam parthu romba ketu poitinga...

Rendanthaaram vanthale kodumai paduthuvanganu yaru sona...

antha pilaigala..avunga sontha pilangala consider panuravangalum niraya peru irukanga...

Priyanka
10-07-2004, 08:24 PM
Rendandharam neraiya peru kozhandhaiya nalla parthukkaravanga irukkaanga illainnu sollalai. Oru velai appadi amaiyalainna? Pollathavangala amanjuttaanganna? Ethukku andha risk edukkanumnu ketkiren.

Neengale yosicchu paarunga! Ladiesla yaarum mother therasa kidaiyaathu. Kandippa oru nalla kudumbatthulerndhu (I mean moniterily) vandha kalyanam aagatha ponnu yaarume kuzhandhaiyoda irukkara aambillaingalai kalyanam pannikka maattaanga. Either she will be a widow or she will come from a very very poor family. Avangalukku kandippa "Oru kuzhandhaiyoda irukkara ambalaikku kalyanam panni vacchuttaangale" appadingara kovam irukkum. Athai avanga yaaru mela kaatta mudiyum. Appa, amma, husband, mamanar, mamiyar ivanga mela ellam kamikka mudiyaathu. Obviously kuzhandhainga perula thaan avanga kovam thirumbum. Ithanaala avangala solli kutthamillai. Avangaloda vedanaiya avanga edatthulerndu paartha thaan namakku puriyum. Ivanga mela naama kova pada koodathu. Parithabam thaan padanum.

Ithu ellam seri kuzhandhaigalukkaaha thannoda life-a sacrifice pannikka mudiyaatha. Athu thaan ennoda kelvi? Oru velai kalyanam aana odane kozhandhai porandhavangalukku adhanoda arumai theriyaama irukkalaam. Athanaala avanga rendavathu kalyanam pannikkalam. Etthanaiyo peru 10 yrs. 20 yrs. ellam kuzhanthai porakkama irukke! Avanga kettu paarunga! Kuzhandhaingarathu evvalavu preciousnu avanga solluvaanga. Apperpattavanga yaarum rendavathu kalyanam pannikka thuniya maattaanga.

Bluelotus
10-07-2004, 10:06 PM
Love can happen many a time in one's life...I do mean the all consuming passionate kind.

but the thing that one tends to forget....the one you love so much ...is not necessarily the right person for you to spend your life with...

I do believe that you will find true love many times in your lifetime....but you will only commit yourself to live and share your life with that one special person...who would be right for you.

hence the expression...MR/Miss Right and not Mr/Miss Love :ahha:
just kidding...I don't know the real origine of that phrase :ee:


Children are precious....but please do not sacrifice your life for them..thtat's not what they want. :snooty:
Live your life for yourself not for others....you can do that and still look after your children.


why can't some ppl stick to one person...well they expect too much :evil:

marriage isn't heaven or paradise...it's abt learning to live with another and for each other...kinda complicated...me not there yet... will write a thesis on it ..If I eveer make it that far :sm12:


Saravana...why the question? :D
is love in the air :wink: ?

blue

Ashok_Taurus
10-07-2004, 10:07 PM
http://www.rwrinnovations.com/whyiloveyou.jpg

silican
10-07-2004, 10:15 PM
Ashok_taurus,
Andha image konjam chinnadha aakuneenganna punniyama pogum.
It spans the whole page and all the above texts runs the whole width of the page.
so its really hard to scroll horizontally and read, for Laptop users.

Naane ippon ovvoru sentence'm break panni ezhudha vendirukku..

Silican

Bluelotus
10-08-2004, 09:01 PM
Ashok T,
interesting poem ... but what do you think??
Is that about your wife :wink: :ee: ...so how is joan :ee: ?

Shy
10-08-2004, 10:44 PM
Love --- if we are talking abt love between a girl and a guy romantically, then yes it can happen only once in their life, if its true love and not some infatuation or lust. Whether successful or not, it will never leave u. If not successful, in reality you might end up with someone else for the rest of your life, but this can never be love, it can be great care and affection or just kadamai.. but antha love that they had earlier athu mathiri irukavae mudiyathu.

Shy

Bluelotus
10-08-2004, 10:58 PM
shy akka,

only once?

are you saying that although there are billions of ppl in the world ...there is just the one and only person you will feel true love for?

only one................then what happens if you never meet that person...cause ...I mean there are sooo many of us ...probability of meeting that one and only person must be quite slim ...I would imagine?
:think:

blue.

butterfly
10-08-2004, 11:06 PM
do we love just once in our life??????????????? or is it ever happening.........ever changing......

why many people cant stick to 1 .............y?

is it mind's game or heart or both?



Question mele question :)

If ur talking about romantic love...It just happens once...

Sorry Dinesh for using ur example here :)

on the road there are different buses running...but once u found out the exact bus which wud take u to ur destination u dont care about other buses passing u by

same way u might meet different ppl before u find the right person & once u have found him or her...others have no effect on u.

vasan
10-08-2004, 11:06 PM
Impossible.. :nono:

The first time you fall in love, may be since its the first time, the memories might stay longer.. but it doesn't mean its true love or that is the only true love..

True love is lot more than that.. And it can be realized many times. True, when you fall in love at 40, you won't feel the same way as a 18 year old.. But thats about mental maturity on handling feelings and emotions, rather than about true love...

But anyways.. what do I know?? So far as I am concerned, love happens only one at a time.. :wink: Early morningla Esha, Maththiyaanam Meera, Night & Twilight.. is Trisha.. :sm12: :sm12: (rhyme aaguthaa? Illai vera ponnu peru sollavaa? :wink: )

v- :P :P

butterfly
10-08-2004, 11:10 PM
But anyways.. what do I know?? So far as I am concerned, love happens only one at a time.. Early morningla Esha, Maththiyaanam Meera, Night & Twilight.. is Trisha.. (rhyme aaguthaa? Illai vera ponnu peru sollavaa? )

v-



adhu thane parthen...love topic le enge unga real answer varaliyenu :sm12:

vasan
10-08-2004, 11:10 PM
on the road there are different buses running...but once u found out the exact bus which wud take u to ur destination u dont care about other buses passing u by

same way u might meet different ppl before u find the right person & once u have found him or her...others have no effect on u.


What happens when there is NO single bus to your home (& heart) pattampoochi? What happens when the bus breaks down in the middle?

Can't agree with you - and while its possible that there are some lucky ones (or blessed ones).. there are some unlucky ones tooo... And first may not be the only time.. :P

People do change. Seasons come again. And love can be reborn too.. :) (In some sense, I wonder if thats what God/Nature is saying? :think: mmm... !)

v-

butterfly
10-09-2004, 01:18 AM
What happens when there is NO single bus to your home (& heart) pattampoochi? What happens when the bus breaks down in the middle?



U make sure u take the right bus & not any bus which happens to pass by :ahha:



And first may not be the only time..



may be...but wont it be always the first???...the rest wud only follow but not necessary be the first love...I dunno i am just guessing

Its like my mom comes first before my periyamma or paati or anyone for that sake...coz it was her I loved first ...that doesnt mean i dont love others...but mom holds a special place which no can fill...same goes for my husband

Priyanka
10-09-2004, 06:23 AM
People do change. Seasons come again. And love can be reborn too..

I can never agree with you vasan regarding this matter. People may change, seasons may change, even this world might change. But true love will never change.

One of my close relatives (claimed to)love a girl. "Naan oru ponnai love pandren. Appa amma otthupaangalo maattangalo!" appadi ippadinnu dialogue vittan. But as soon as his parents fixed marriage, he readily accepted even without saying a word to his parents about his love. ketta "athu vera ithu vera" appadinnu solraan.

Do you call this as love? (Romantic) Love-ngarathu birth and death maadiri. Athu oruttharoda vazhkaiyila oru thadavai thaan varum, varanum, vara mudiyum.

jiwa_75
10-09-2004, 12:52 PM
ithe than namba padmasri kamal hassan sonnar vasool raja mbbs illa

aalvaarpettai aaludaa
arivuraiye keludaa
ore kaathal uril illaiyadaa
kaathal poayin saathalaa
innoar kaathal illaiyaa
thaavani poanaal salvaar ullathadaa
ithe kudde sonnar

ethanaiyum purinjchu nadakkanum
kaathal onnum kadavul illaiyadaa
intha elavu ellaam hormone seyyum kalakam thaanadaa

ippe purijirrukume .

Ashok_Taurus
10-09-2004, 12:57 PM
Love is like a butterfly in so many, many ways.
It brings a bit of sunshine even on gloomy days.
It makes our souls feel lighter just to know it's there
And gives our spirits wings, as if floating in the air.
It carries us to places that we never knew before
And comes in many sizes, shapes and hues galore.
Once we've seen it, we wish to hold onto it so tight
But like a frail butterfly, we must allow it free flight,
For if we should try to cage it up and hold it in a pen,
We'll surely crush its wings, and it'll never fly again.
To keep that love glowing in our hearts each day,
We must remember always to give some of it away.
Every little bit we give to someone else to share
Comes back tenfold, and we've so much to spare.
Put your love on gossamer wings, and give it flight;
It will return to you, and bring you much delight.

Shy
10-10-2004, 08:57 PM
shy akka,

only once?

are you saying that although there are billions of ppl in the world ...there is just the one and only person you will feel true love for?

only one................then what happens if you never meet that person...cause ...I mean there are sooo many of us ...probability of meeting that one and only person must be quite slim ...I would imagine?
:think:

blue.

Yes blue.. there are billions of people out there, but only one is destined for you and for sure fate will take you to them.

There may be many persons in your life in between, but this one alone will last :)

Shy

sri_gan
10-11-2004, 02:28 AM
Love --- if we are talking abt love between a girl and a guy romantically, then yes it can happen only once in their life, if its true love and not some infatuation or lust. Whether successful or not, it will never leave u. If not successful, in reality you might end up with someone else for the rest of your life, but this can never be love, it can be great care and affection or just kadamai.. but antha love that they had earlier athu mathiri irukavae mudiyathu.

Shy

I disagree.

anainar
10-11-2004, 03:01 AM
அடடடா!!! Dont know how I missed such an electrifying topic... :D :D :D Looks like already there is strong agreements and disagreements. Time to jump in...

Vasan, very nice analogy. There are normally more than one bus that goes to one's home unless otherwise that person in Kalutharuthanpaalayam which has only one bus. But every one has to take that bus and it is not fun to share romance. Dont you all agree??? So, there is nothing as the right bus. Some buses come with Video, some come plain simple, some with cushon seats.. Some times when tired and are in a hurry take the first bus even if it is plain simple. If you have time, wait for a video bus. Or worst case go by walk. Love is also like that. You can wait for eternity hoping for the right or just get on based on what your current state is.

So, my point is, love need not be confined to happen just once. And who ever you love need not end up as life partner as well. Love is an entitiy in fantasy world. All one can get in this world are either images or pirated copies of that. So, dont be fooled by eternal love. It does not exist. Not atleast in the current world. May be in Mars or Utopian world. Accept it as a fact and get on with life instead of complaining about it.

Cheers

sri_gan
10-11-2004, 01:15 PM
Some buses come with Video, some come plain simple, some with cushon seats.. Some times when tired and are in a hurry take the first bus even if it is plain simple. If you have time, wait for a video bus. Or worst case go by walk. Love is also like that. You can wait for eternity hoping for the right or just get on based on what your current state is.


Yappa Yappa Iyaappa... Kannula Video Kattappa....
Nadkuravan Thalayelutha mathappa...
Perum Playboya mathuppa....
Yappa Yappa Iyaappa... Kannula Video Kattappa....

Small Bit after reading those statements..... :sm12:





So, my point is, love need not be confined to happen just once.


Yes this is very true. A simple example is lets say two lovers seeing a movie, one of the partner likes the way a person dresses in the movie he/she may expect his/her mate to dress similar to that.... may be its one form of amateur love.... Some people in this courtroom may ask/say invalid argument but one simple reason, Human life adapts itself on learning by what we see and recognize, Love didn't came out of the blue, its an amateur feeling transformed into a matured form... Thats the reason behind that example.

Love has multiple forms, its cannot be restricted to romance or kindness since its termed that way and In one form of romance, one partner has a chance to become a second mother, which inducts a transformation as a very carning partner.

So I disagree and say its a narrowed down closed hearts which thinks Love can happen only once.

goodcomplanboy
10-11-2004, 06:50 PM
Kaathal kaathal, kaathal illaye saathal'ndra loosu thanathayellam I wouldnt believe.


:00: :00:
Hey, dude.. :evil: So you think Bharathiyar was 'loose' do you? :evil: :evil:

ps: If you want a serious answer.. Yes. You can. And yes, I am talking about TRUE (agmark certified.. :ahha: ) love.. Matured, serious, live for each other love.. :).. If it doesn't, there is no way a person who has lost his/her spouse could remarry..

Hey RELAX buddy. I never said Bharathiyar is a loose. I LOVE Bharathiyar's thoughts, but that doesnt mean that I will blindly accept anything that hes got to say.

This concept enakku pudikkale. Why should you let your life go, for someone who really doesnt care for you.

Again I LOVE Bharathiyar's poems and his thoughts.

PS: Vasan, you made my statment look, as though I am against Bharathiyar :sm12: appadi yellam illengo...

vasan
10-11-2004, 06:59 PM
This concept enakku pudikkale. Why should you let your life go, for someone who really doesnt care for you


I am not Bharathiyar's vaarisu either.. But the deal is.. Who said 'kaathal kaathal kaathal, kaathal poyin saaththal.. ' means what you said? :Ksp:

Thats not what that song is all about.. And even if its so, why should it be wrong? You don't have to kill yourself to die. You can live, dead to any romantic thoughts and on the 'memory' of your loved one. Its not a purposeless life or sacrifice - it just the way he/she wants to live and thats that..

கவிஞர் சொன்ன மாதிரி..

உள்ளத்தை ஒருத்திக்க ு கொடுத்து விடு
அந்த ஒருத்தியை உயிராய் மதித்துவிட ு..

:b: :b:

to love & life.. :P :P

v- :P :P :P

Bluelotus
10-11-2004, 07:13 PM
உள்ளத்தை ஒருத்திக்க ு கொடுத்து விடு
அந்த ஒருத்தியை உயிராய் மதித்துவிட ு..

:b: :b:

to love & life.. :P :P

v- :P :P :P

this reminds me of that character "vivek" in Flavors :ee:

just a thought which occured to me ..........

PS: what does "saaththal.. " mean?

------------------------------------------------------------

shy akka,

with all due respect...the chances of one meeting that "one person" is very very slim
and if the worst happens and one doesn't meet that one person....then what...are you forever destined to have "temporary" relations :think:

sorry...but what do you mean by it will last? :think:
could you please define "true love"? ...so everything else is "false Love" :? ?



I still think you can love more than one person the sme passionate way....but you gotta make a conscious decision about whom to spend your life with...and stick to it.

sri_gan
10-11-2004, 07:24 PM
உள்ளத்தை ஒருத்திக்க ு கொடுத்து விடு
அந்த ஒருத்தியை உயிராய் மதித்துவிட ு..

வாசன்,
சொன்னா கோவிச்சுக் காதீங்க....

பாரதி பாட்டுக்கு சொல்லிட்டு போய்ட்டாரு ... நம்ம ஆளுங்க அதுக்கு ஒரு அலங்காரம் பண்ணி ஆர்ப்பாட்ட ம் தானே பண்ணுறாங்க ... எதுக்காக காதல் பண்ணுறீங்க அதச் சொல்லுங்க மொதல்ல.....
யாருக்கும் பிரச்சனை வராம காதல் பண்ண முடிஞ்சா பண்ணுங்க இதுக்கு இல்லைனு சொல்லுரவங் களுக்கு பொறுமை கிடையாது... அப்படி பொருமை இல்லாதவங்க ஒரு உள்ளத்தை கொடுத்தேனு எப்படி சொல்ல முடியும்?

இவளோ விசயத்தையு ம் தன்னோட சுய சந்தோசத்து க்காக தியாகம் பண்ண முடியாதவங் க எப்படி ஒரு உள்ளத்தை மட்டும் இன்னொருதங் களுக்கு கொடுக்க முடியும்.... அப்படியே நீங்க கொடுத்தாலு ம் அடுத்தவங்க ளும் எப்படி 100% கொடுப்பாங் கனு எப்படி நம்புறீங்க ... அவங்க எதுக்கு உங்களுக்கே கொடுக்கணும ். (Selfishness thane)

நாங்க ஜோசியம் பேசுனா... அறிவியல் ஆராயிச்சி பண்ணி எத்துப்பீங ்க... இதுக்கு மட்டும் ஒண்ணும் தப்பு இல்ல...


ஒண்ணுக்கொண ்ணு முறன் படுதே?? :sm12: :sm12: :sm12: :sm12:

vasan
10-11-2004, 07:26 PM
I still think you can love more than one person the sme passionate way....but you gotta make a conscious decision about whom to spend your life with...and stick to it.


Out of the mouth of babes, as they say...... :wink: (Pun? :00: What pun?? !! Its a serious quote, folks.. :ee:)

Completely true, Blues. True love - to me at least - is not some cosmic undefinable thingy that happens only once - but the conscious decision and desire to spend the rest of your life with that person. Thats why there is room for compromise, error, forgiveness and comradrie in a relationship. If two fit-in perfectly like cogs on a wheel... where is the room for discord?

I can love more than one - at a time - and I really choose to live with and pour all my love on only one.. Indeed, I do stand up before God and men and 'promise' to love her in sickness and in health.. and so on.. until death, that is.. :P :P

v-

sri_gan
10-11-2004, 07:29 PM
Completely true, Blues. True love - to me at least not some cosmic undefinable thingy that happens only once - but conscious decision and desire to spend the rest of your life with that person. Thats why there is room for compromise, error, forgiveness and comradrie in a relationship. If two fit-in perfectly like cogs on a wheel... where is the room for discord?

I can love more than one - at a time - and I really choose to live with and pour all my love on only one.. Indeed, I do stand up before God and men and 'promise' to love her in sickness and in health.. and so on.. until death, that is..


Thats a Rational way and its not completely trustable.... If you can love more than once then Love happens more than once so... its a multiple entity.

Bluelotus
10-11-2004, 07:42 PM
எதுக்காக காதல் பண்ணுறீங்க அதச் சொல்லுங்க மொதல்ல.....


I have a wild theory that the whole idea of love evolved to maintain monogamous relationships...and also encourage males to remain with the females and offsprings....
we needed something...and of course love is a physiological response too...
and to guarrantee survival of the species...

but who said you only fall in love b4 marriage...you fall in love after marriage too...with the partner...
worked for mummy and daddy :ahha:


never thought of love as an entity.....was kinda thinking of it more in the abstract ...
so is hunger too an entity? :think:

vasan
10-11-2004, 07:47 PM
உள்ளத்தை ஒருத்திக்க ு கொடுத்து விடு
அந்த ஒருத்தியை உயிராய் மதித்துவிட ு..

வாசன்,
சொன்னா கோவிச்சுக் காதீங்க....

பாரதி பாட்டுக்கு சொல்லிட்டு போய்ட்டாரு ... நம்ம ஆளுங்க அதுக்கு ஒரு அலங்காரம் பண்ணி ஆர்ப்பாட்ட ம் தானே பண்ணுறாங்க ... எதுக்காக காதல் பண்ணுறீங்க அதச் சொல்லுங்க மொதல்ல.....
யாருக்கும் பிரச்சனை வராம காதல் பண்ண முடிஞ்சா பண்ணுங்க இதுக்கு இல்லைனு சொல்லுரவங் களுக்கு பொறுமை கிடையாது... அப்படி பொருமை இல்லாதவங்க ஒரு உள்ளத்தை கொடுத்தேனு எப்படி சொல்ல முடியும்?

இவளோ விசயத்தையு ம் தன்னோட சுய சந்தோசத்து க்காக தியாகம் பண்ண முடியாதவங் க எப்படி ஒரு உள்ளத்தை மட்டும் இன்னொருதங் களுக்கு கொடுக்க முடியும்.... அப்படியே நீங்க கொடுத்தாலு ம் அடுத்தவங்க ளும் எப்படி 100% கொடுப்பாங் கனு எப்படி நம்புறீங்க ... அவங்க எதுக்கு உங்களுக்கே கொடுக்கணும ்.

நாங்க ஜோசியம் பேசுனா... அறிவியல் ஆராயிச்சி பண்ணி எத்துப்பீங ்க... இதுக்கு மட்டும் ஒண்ணும் தப்பு இல்ல...

ஒண்ணுக்கொண ்ணு முறன் படுதே?? :sm12: :sm12: :sm12: :sm12:

:Ksp:

பாரதியார் 'செந்தமிழ் நாடெனும் போதினிலே' அப்படின்னு பாடினா வேதம். 'காதல் போயின் சாதல்'னா, அத நாங்க எடுத்து வச்சுகிட்ட ு கொண்டாடுரோ மா? நல்ல கதையா இருக்கே? ரெண்டு விஷயத்தையு மே படிச்சி சரின்னு தோணுரதால தான் பாடறோம், ஆடுறோம். வேற ஒண்ணும் இல்லீங்கோ.. :P :P

காதல் எதுக்கு பண்ணுறோமா? கல்யாணம் பண்ணிக்கத் தான். நான் காதல் பண்ணூரதுல யாருக்கு பிரச்சனை வரப் போகுது? அடப் பொண்ண எனக்கு புடிச்சிரு க்கு, நான் லவ் பண்ணூரேன்.. மத்தவங்களு க்கு என்ன பிரச்சனை? :Ksp:

சுய சந்தோஷத்து க்காக என்னத்தை தியாகம் பண்ணனும்னு சொல்லுறீங் க? ஓரு பொண்ணுக்கு உள்ளத்தை கொடுக்காம, ரெண்டு ரூபாய் நார்பத்திய ஞ்சு காசு குடுக்க அவ என்ன கால் கிலோ கத்தரிக்கா யா? :00: அண்ணே.. காதல்ல குடுக்கரது , அவளும் திருப்பி தந்தே ஆகனும்ன்னு இல்லை. (அதுக்கு பேர் பண்டமாற்று வாணிகம். காதல் இல்லை.. :wink: ). அவளும் தன்னுடைய உள்ளத்தை கொடுத்து நேசித்தா ரொம்ப சந்தோஷம். இல்லைனா என்னுடைய துரதிர்ஷ்ட ம் அப்படின்னு ட்டு போக வேண்டியது தான். ஒரு சிலர் வேற யாருமே வேணான்னுட் டு வாழராங்க.. மத்தவங்க, மனதை மாற்றிக் கொண்டு வேற வாழ்க்கை அமைச்சுக்க ராங்க.. :P

உள்ளத்தை ஒருத்திக்க ு கொடுத்து விடுன்னு தான் கவிஞர் பாடினாரே தவிர்த்து, இந்த ஒருத்தின்ன ு யாரோ விதிச்சிட் டாங்கன்னு பாடலையே. நாமாக நினைத்து, முடிவு செஞ்சு கொடுத்திடன ும். எடுத்த அந்த முடிவும் அதன் மன உறுதிப்பாட ும் தான் காதல். :b: அதினால தான் சொல்லுறேன் , காதல் (உண்மையான அக்மார்க் காதல் தான்!) பல முறை வயப்படலாம் ன்னு..

அர்த்தம் ஆயிந்தா? :wink:

v-

vasan
10-11-2004, 07:50 PM
Thats a Rational way and its not completely trustable.... If you can love more than once then Love happens more than once so... its a multiple entity.


I don't see why something thats totally rational is not trustworthy?? :Ksp: If such is the case, we should forget Maths too.. :ahha:

Yes.. Love can happen more than once. Which is, by the way, is what I have been saying all along.. :P :P

v-

sri_gan
10-11-2004, 07:51 PM
but who said you only fall in love b4 marriage...you fall in love after marriage too...with the partner...
worked for mummy and daddy


Amma thayee blue magamaaiyee....

My Point towards love is simple, Love everything and anything, only one, twoly two, threely three... are merely a boundary towards an imaginary Goal for no reason.

All are born, have a nice life and be a buddy in the grave... athukku naduvula love happens once... its nothing wrong if happens multiple times, just be honest with yourself and whom you involve with avlothan...

vasan
10-11-2004, 07:58 PM
I have a wild theory that the whole idea of love evolved to maintain monogamous relationships...and also encourage males to remain with the females and offsprings....
we needed something...and of course love is a physiological response too...
and to guarrantee survival of the species...


Bluesy.. :) Enna anthropology class ippo thaan mudinchathaa? :wink:

Possibly.. :think: Might have been... but me discards the theory - as strong proponent of love.. :P :P :P Its not mere, keep the guy principle.. its lot more than that, yes, even from beginning.. :wink: (Ofcourse, I can't prove it.. Thats why I assume it as a inviolate truth.. :sm12: :sm12: )..

'Nyways.. I don't disagree with you on the truth that love happens even after marriage.. :P :P Just choose not to experiment myself that way though.. :ahha:

v-

sri_gan
10-11-2004, 08:15 PM
காதல் எதுக்கு பண்ணுறோமா? கல்யாணம் பண்ணிக்கத் தான். நான் காதல் பண்ணூரதுல யாருக்கு பிரச்சனை வரப் போகுது? அடப் பொண்ண எனக்கு புடிச்சிரு க்கு, நான் லவ் பண்ணூரேன்.. மத்தவங்களு க்கு என்ன பிரச்சனை?

பொண்ண உங்களுக்கு புடிகிறதுல தான் எந்த பிரச்சனையு மே இல்லையே... பொண்ணுக்கு உங்கள புடிக்கணும ுல அதுவும் கொஞ்சம் வேணும்ல... :ee: :sm12: :sm12: :sm12:

Ithu Aaan Penn renduperukkum samamana niyathi... ithule olapum pothuthan ethuvume pudi padama porathu.....

Athule theliva irrukengala nu pathen... Unga pathila atha kanum.... kalkilo arakilo ellam serithan... matter illaiye... Bharathi enna ungalukku mattum pudikanumna padi vachirrukar??




I don't see why something thats totally rational is not trustworthy??


For Example, There are something called Good and Bad, if you are rational between those, its implied not trustworthy avlothan.... In my world its called Grey Shades.



Yes.. Love can happen more than once. Which is, by the way, is what I have been saying all along..


So you are opposing The great Shy akka then :sm12: :sm12: :sm12: :sm12: Vasanukku tinnu katta poranga....

vasan
10-11-2004, 08:21 PM
Ithu Aaan Penn renduperukkum samamana niyathi... ithule olapum pothuthan ethuvume pudi padama porathu.....


kandipaa.. Ithula enna santhegam. The reason I wrote, I love etc, is only for shorthand convenience. Its absolutely true for both men & women.

Shy.. yeah.. Avanga thaan innum 'true love is only once' appadinne irukkanga.. :P My opinion is only if you define true love as 'only once' love. If we exclude by definition everything else, then perhaps.. But to me, it can happen many times, with many people..

v-

Priyam2004
10-11-2004, 08:22 PM
True love! :Ksp: :Ksp: :Ksp:

Before asking yourself the question “Does love only comes once in a lifetime?” you should be able to differentiate between ‘Infatuation’ and ‘True Love’ in order to really answer this question!

Infatuation is like a fantasy…a dream…puppy love…occurs usually at the peak of maturity, ie: during early years of college, etc (however, can also rarely happen ‘after’ this period). This infatuation over someone comes via physical attraction…ie: when you see someone…when you think someone ‘looks’ good. Another is when someone is very kind towards you…but once again that’s also through a physical form…ie: when you literally ‘feel’ the comfort of someone being around…security. A few months down the line, you’ll look back at those days and laugh to yourself…you won’t have any regrets, any feelings, no nothing…just amusing thoughts…that’s what infatuation is all about!

True love…comes when you are slightly more mature, ie: past the age of mixing thoughts of love and infatuation. This kind of love goes ‘miles’ past the external beauty of someone…this doesn’t come necessarily because you fancy someone cos’ they look good (that could be ‘one’ of the reasons, but surely not the only reason). This love is between hearts (I know sounds soft doesn’t it? :D), but it’s true…you love that person for the way they behave/talk/do things/walk/laugh…absolutely everything. Even if she/he doesn’t look smart, isn’t up to scratch, has a bad hair day, whatever…you still love them. (Just an example -> If he/she is caught in an accident…loses an arm/leg…you’ll be there for them without a doubt still loving them as much as always). It’s an indescribable affection…eg: you’re somewhere else far away from this person and doing another million things that doesn’t involve him/her…but still you think of him/her…the thought of him/her comes into your head ‘automatically’, you didn’t even want to think that, but the thought just came….just like that – now that’s true love! No matter how many years…no matter how many people you meet…no matter who you marry…he/she…the person who you loved…’really loved’…will be there on your mind. People who say…’Nah…no way…you forget first love as soon as you fall in love with someone else…easy….’ they’re just cowards…who simply don’t want to accept/admit the fact that they’re still in love with him/her…or once was in love with him/her…convincing themselves just so they can ‘move on’ with their lives! We can say what we like to persuade ourselves…to comfort ourselves…to make us feel better…cos’ at the end of day, it’s our words which makes us, but the truth of true love is greater and the feelings of that is far beyond.

When you are with one and she/he reminds you of your previous lover…or you compare things with your first lover – then that points to you that your previous love was true love.

If after losing a love which you thought was love and after a while meet someone else who you have fallen for in a big way – more than the first one…then the new found relationship/love is more nearer to true love than the first one, hence the first one is not true love…it’s infatuation!

Sounds quite logically doesn’t it??? It is, however…many people often confuse both infatuation and true love…they’re two different concepts altogether. I see a few Geethamites (more males) have mentioned that true love can come again and again…etc…well…I think what you mean is infatuation can come again and again and puppy love which develops from that (of course), but true love doesn’t come again that easily. Yes, you can love one truly and then for some odd reason or another that love doesn’t succeed…if so, I’m not saying you cannot love anyone else never ever again forever…all I’m trying to say is you cannot ‘forget’ that love you had (and lost).

Once again, like I said, I’m not saying you cannot carry on with life having after loving someone and losing them…of course you can. You can love one…and lose her/him…marry someone else…and even live happily with this new person loving her/him to bits…but if you’re telling me that you have wiped that first love completely utterly out of your life and memories…that’s impossible. If you have…then that first love was not true love…it was just an infatuation…!!! If in any instance you think of him/her…or…giggle to yourself with a deep feeling thinking of any part of that infatuation which makes you feel warm…followed by a second of regret…then I’m sorry…but you have to admit…that’s love not infatuation…and those memories will cross your thoughts now and then until the last breathe of your life…that’s true love…unforgettable, treasured, cherished & memorable…engraving a mark on your life!

Love is a multifarious and a complex feeling…comes easy for some…and is a matter of life and death for others. Comes before marriage, comes after marriage…can come when you’re 20 and can come when you’re 80…it’s a time-passing game for some and means life to others. Basically…to discuss love & our opinions of love…and make one understand how and what we feel and think of love ~ a lifetime is not enough…!!!!!

Hope I make sense…!!! ;)

Thank you :sm08:

Shy
10-11-2004, 11:08 PM
Hi guys.. :)

Last postla irunthu pooraen for a change ;)

Priyam, very good post u know.. romba alaga yaeluthi irukae.. its very good. dear. What you said is very correct, except I disagree to this part

"I’m not saying you cannot love anyone else never ever again forever…all I’m trying to say is you cannot ‘forget’ that love you had (and lost). "

If you are in "love" with someone else and you seem to be not thinking abt ur lost love, then it means its not lost love at all, but some type of likeness, extreme care of affection for that person or just physical attraction. But even when you are with someone else and you seem to be in a committed or serious relationship if you still feel for the lost love.. Then thats love, what you are right now is not love, but sometime of security or something for ur life after the love that u had lost. Its something like a rebound love, but not a true love. So basically once you have a true love in ur life, then it can never leave you because its not something that fades over years but it will always be in your heart forever.

Shy

Shy
10-11-2004, 11:31 PM
Yes this is very true. A simple example is lets say two lovers seeing a movie, one of the partner likes the way a person dresses in the movie he/she may expect his/her mate to dress similar to that.... may be its one form of amateur love.... Some people in this courtroom may ask/say invalid argument but one simple reason, Human life adapts itself on learning by what we see and recognize, Love didn't came out of the blue, its an amateur feeling transformed into a matured form... Thats the reason behind that example.

Love has multiple forms, its cannot be restricted to romance or kindness since its termed that way and In one form of romance, one partner has a chance to become a second mother, which inducts a transformation as a very carning partner.

So I disagree and say its a narrowed down closed hearts which thinks Love can happen only once.

Sri ji..

Of course love has multiple forms.. U love your parents, friends, ur dog :00:, puppy love as priyam said.. yes there are different forms of love. but we arent talking abt that. We are talking abt "true love". U get that when u are 18 or 80, its that feeeling which makes u feel who you are. Where even a split second thinking them outside of your life will make your world crush and make you worthless living.



So, my point is, love need not be confined to happen just once. And who ever you love need not end up as life partner as well. Love is an entitiy in fantasy world. All one can get in this world are either images or pirated copies of that. So, dont be fooled by eternal love. It does not exist. Not atleast in the current world. May be in Mars or Utopian world. Accept it as a fact and get on with life instead of complaining about it.

Anainar, I cant agree that the person who are in love cant end of as life partners. The reason being, first if both are in true love, none can separate them, whatever hurdles they might have sure they will wind up together somehow or another. Thats fate. But if it was a physical attraction or some type of fling, then its what as you say, because the only bond "true love" ellai angae.

If you have true love for someone and that person isnt as you are, then thats the terrible thing that can happen. :( Its the worst curse on someone.

Shy

sri_gan
10-12-2004, 12:10 AM
We are talking abt "true love".


Yakka,

There is no such thing called True Love... or False Love.

If Life is an Ocean; Love is a Motion.... It can change it forms and ofcourse every love starts amateur and then it becomes mature.

So from your point a Widower cannot marry another person and you will say they cannot find true love once again?? Come on akka Life is full of situations and its important for a human to experience and the same and move on ...

So I have to strongly disagree with the "true love" definition also.

Shy
10-12-2004, 12:21 AM
We are talking abt "true love".


Yakka,

There is no such thing called True Love... or False Love.

If Life is an Ocean; Love is a Motion.... It can change it forms and ofcourse every love starts amateur and then it becomes mature.

So from your point a Widower cannot marry another person and you will say they cannot find true love once again?? Come on akka Life is full of situations and its important for a human to experience and the same and move on ...

So I have to strongly disagree with the "true love" definition also.

No Sri. I never said a widower cant remarry. Ofcourse they can, but was it with love thats the question. How many cases we hear that a widow marriage is for many other reasons too - (1) to avoid being lonely (2) for the sake of kids (3) for the sake of the family. Even if they like someone and marry, its just likeness sri, it cant be same as the one they had with their dead partner.

True love, Of course it exists. Udanae false lovenu irukanu kaeta :evil: :evil: irukalaam. Like the ones I said.. where its just lust or a freaky attraction, those all are some other forms of love.. kaamamnu solroomae athuvum oru vitha love thaanae.. but aasaiyum moogamum just for 30 days mathiri... ithu ellam.. but even if you are with that person for few days and if you lost them, appo if you cant forget them or their thoughts forever from your heart, appadi iruntha then thats true love.

Shy

anainar
10-12-2004, 12:26 AM
Priyam,

You have argued like a lawyer. Do you have plans of becoming one? You have a bright future. :D :D :D

But of course there are flaws. First and foremost you mention more males are saying true love can happen multiple times. Yes, because we are much more rational and take things as they come and live in real world, not the utopian world of "True Love". Vasan was very clear. If you see previous relationship in the current one, you are bound for disappointment. Take the new one as "New" and get on. Also you know some thing is infatuation only after some time. Till then it might look like serious commitment. That way you can brand any relationhip as infatuation.

I might sound cruel, but life is all about convenience and comfort( both materialistic and mental ). It starts like that, then it becomes indispensable because one gets used to it. Time distance are great testers of love. Put a "True love" couple away from each other for 5 years and see what happens. Life is not just about emotions, rhetoric. There are many other things also. So, I dont look at love in absolute terms. Given an opportunity, it might become a indispensable part of life, more out of convenience/comfort. That is all.

So, do not classify love as "True love" or "Puppy love". Puppy love is some thing that is not so conenient or comfortable which wears off after a while. Your category of True love falls in the comfort zone and gets transformed into serious commitment in the form of marriage.

Cheers

vasan
10-12-2004, 12:47 AM
family. Even if they like someone and marry, its just likeness sri, it cant be same as the one they had with their dead partner.


Its not exactly the same. It will never be the same. Because people involved are not the same. Quite elementary, actually. To be truthful, its not the same even for my old car.. I buy another one, exactly same model etc, and yet it wouldn't be the same.. Just how much more so for the people.. perhaps a million zillion times..

But the fact still remains.. Just because it is not exactly the same emotions you felt with the previous partner, it does not mean that the new love is any less true. Why should it be? Should love mean, it should be exactly same emotion down to last nerve tingle? Even with the same partner, love grows and matures. What I was feeling when we first started dating is not the same as what I feel now - and its real. Much the same way, though I love another person, and the emotional adjustments, and holds and love we have for each other is different, it still is true. Complete and entirely honest. In every inch as true as the one I had with my previous partner.

It is very much possible, teacher.. Just that we need to come out of this - what Anainar rightfully calls as - utopian definition of 'true love'. Such mythical love exists in paper. But true love is not that - at least not the kind of true love we folks have been talking about..


Priyam.. :P Well said arguments maa.. aaanaa.. aanaa.. anaaa.. :sm12: :sm12: You see,


True love…comes when you are slightly more mature, ie: past the age of mixing thoughts of love and infatuation.

True. Very true. Any sort of romantic love that does not involve an consious effort in trying to understand the other person is suspicious. And then you immediately go on to say..


When you are with one and she/he reminds you of your previous lover…or you compare things with your first lover – then that points to you that your previous love was true love.

What is this? I understand a person and love her. Now I am with this new person, and sudden-aa ava kattikittu irukka blue sari paarththuttu 'ninaikka therintha manamey unakku marakka theriyaatha'nnu paattu paadanumaa? And why should that make what I have now unreal? Hey, you know what, even my ex used to like this color very much.. and get on with it.. :P :P Mentally honestly, truly you trust and make a mature conscious effort to love and hold to the other person. Thats why its true love. Saree parththu mayanhi poga its not puppy love-paa..

Come on Queenie.. No one is confusing movie love & puppy love and so on with honest and true love for another person. And yes, it is possible to have it more than once, because its the mind that changes and allows such things. Very possible. Happens all the time.


Vasan

ps: Sri.. Ocean, motion oda vittuteengalae.. Potion, emotion, contemplation, sun-tan-lotion, imagination, extrapolation, poison, bright-sun.... ithukkum ethaavathu sollunga.. :P :P Good points though.. :)

sri_gan
10-12-2004, 01:36 AM
No Sri. I never said a widower cant remarry. Ofcourse they can, but was it with love thats the question. How many cases we hear that a widow marriage is for many other reasons too - (1) to avoid being lonely (2) for the sake of kids (3) for the sake of the family. Even if they like someone and marry, its just likeness sri, it cant be same as the one they had with their dead partner.

True love, Of course it exists. Udanae false lovenu irukanu kaeta irukalaam. Like the ones I said.. where its just lust or a freaky attraction, those all are some other forms of love.. kaamamnu solroomae athuvum oru vitha love thaanae.. but aasaiyum moogamum just for 30 days mathiri... ithu ellam.. but even if you are with that person for few days and if you lost them, appo if you cant forget them or their thoughts forever from your heart, appadi iruntha then thats true love.

Shy



Shy akka,

Devil padam potta summa vitturuvama? :sm12: :sm12:

(1) to avoid being lonely

(2) for the sake of kids

(3) for the sake of the family

So you are saying these are secondary reasons than a primary "true love" and you are so sure that love can only comes once ...

Aasai arubathu naal moogam mupathu naal nu sollurenga.... ippa innoru sample sollurane...

Intha movies le child artist ellam irrupanga... avanga chinnathule pathu irrupom ... then perusu aana vudane kandukkuvom... appo we are madly in love with them na solla mudiyum... mudiyathu we care to know about their appearance... thats one form of love.

Athe mari friendshipkkum lovekkum very thin line le than difference friendship love a marum nu solluvanga... friends a irrukkum pothu innoru ponnu/payyan mela kuda love vanthirukalam..... ivalo situations life le positive side le irrukku?

Athukellam freaky love nu sollakudathu... vazhkai oda ethartham athuthan.... athai oram katturathala yarukkum nanmai illai...theemai vara chance jasthi....

Innum varum.

Shy
10-12-2004, 05:32 PM
Shy akka,

Devil padam potta summa vitturuvama? :sm12: :sm12:

(1) to avoid being lonely

(2) for the sake of kids

(3) for the sake of the family

So you are saying these are secondary reasons than a primary "true love" and you are so sure that love can only comes once ...

Yes. A widowerkku eppadi these are the reasons to get married oo, I feel whoever have a lsot love get married for many other reasons and its not because they fell in love again.

(1) security in life
(2) rebound after a lost love
(3) family/society pressure.

Sri, True love is something you feel only once to a only a single person in life. Whatever the reason may be and you dont end up with that person, then its ur ill luck and its ur lost love. but will u have another true love like this in your life, no you cant. Example ungalai mathiri solraen.

2 people are in a relationship, I mean both mentally and physically they share everything and they are very close. They both are in love. Due to some reasons they break up.

Ok now years pass and they are with different persons, life is going on. That girl or guy hear a radio song which they had been kept as their love song or any situation they had privately made up or something earlier. Immediatea they will be years back at that point of time where they both had great moment and how they used to have fun together. even though they are happy in the present life, that split second they go back in time to that moment and cherish the memory with their ex right, thats lost love. A love thats everygreen in your heart. It will be like yesterday when they both were together and having a good time together.


Intha movies le child artist ellam irrupanga... avanga chinnathule pathu irrupom ... then perusu aana vudane kandukkuvom... appo we are madly in love with them na solla mudiyum... mudiyathu we care to know about their appearance... thats one form of love.

Sri ofcourse love has many forms, priyam thaan soli irukaalae.. nee eppo example sonathu some type of physical attraction thats not true love.


Athe mari friendshipkkum lovekkum very thin line le than difference friendship love a marum nu solluvanga... friends a irrukkum pothu innoru ponnu/payyan mela kuda love vanthirukalam..... ivalo situations life le positive side le irrukku?

Of course friendsa irukkum both they might have mad at someone else. But lovenu solitu irunthu irukalaam.. but finally koodavae irukkum antha friend thaan thannu ellamae nenaikra time irukku paarunga.. cha I never realised that my love was my friendnu.. appo you will know that what u have before was not true love, but some type of infatuation or something.


Athukellam freaky love nu sollakudathu... vazhkai oda ethartham athuthan.... athai oram katturathala yarukkum nanmai illai...theemai vara chance jasthi....

Yaethuvum freaky lovenu solalai sri.. what I meant was.. eppo westernla they go for many dates and be with a person. Not many are into serious relationships when they are dating.. many want some company and stuff antha mathiri vishyam thaan freaky lovenu sonaen.. Here theres a slang called fling for that.. athai mean paninaen.

Shy

Shy
10-12-2004, 05:46 PM
shy akka,

with all due respect...the chances of one meeting that "one person" is very very slim
and if the worst happens and one doesn't meet that one person....then what...are you forever destined to have "temporary" relations

sorry...but what do you mean by it will last?
could you please define "true love"? ...so everything else is "false Love" ?

Sweetlotus,

Why do u say that the chance is very slim. Thats the beauty. everyone for sure will meet their true love once in their life. so its not that you will never get to meet your truelove at all.

It will lastna, If you met your truelove and for him your the truelove then for sure it will last. thats fate.

shy

sri_gan
10-12-2004, 08:12 PM
Yes. A widowerkku eppadi these are the reasons to get married oo, I feel whoever have a lsot love get married for many other reasons and its not because they fell in love again.

(1) security in life
(2) rebound after a lost love
(3) family/society pressure.

Sri, True love is something you feel only once to a only a single person in life. Whatever the reason may be and you dont end up with that person, then its ur ill luck and its ur lost love. but will u have another true love like this in your life, no you cant. Example ungalai mathiri solraen.

2 people are in a relationship, I mean both mentally and physically they share everything and they are very close. They both are in love. Due to some reasons they break up.

Ok now years pass and they are with different persons, life is going on. That girl or guy hear a radio song which they had been kept as their love song or any situation they had privately made up or something earlier. Immediatea they will be years back at that point of time where they both had great moment and how they used to have fun together. even though they are happy in the present life, that split second they go back in time to that moment and cherish the memory with their ex right, thats lost love. A love thats everygreen in your heart. It will be like yesterday when they both were together and having a good time together.


First, I have to refer to one point from namma blues... Love is also one more feeling which could created for monogamous relationship... "true love" is merely a boundary.

What are going to say to people who cannot recognize that feeling? You cannot call them as animals either 'cause Life is such a mass with so much units.

Athe pola, Life le oru time than love varum enbathu sutha poi.... innum solla ponna nammala namae kattu paduthikurom nu peru pannikittu othingi irrukurathunu kuda solluven.

Chinna kuzhanthai kuda azhuthathan vela vellaikku sappadu kidaikkum... True Love / False Love nu pesikittu irruntha... Life la neriya visheyathukku payapada vendiyathu than jasthi irrukkum.

Killuna valli eppadi oru feelingo athe mari than Love um... ithule poetry mix panni romba exagurate panni vitturanga.... silavanga athe pudichikittu thothikinnu irrukanga... ivalothan matter.

Ithai naan eppadi sollalam endru ninaikiren endral.....

Killa vangunavan oda vali eppadiyo appadithan ethi katchiyil enn seivathu endru ariyamal amarthukondu irrukkum nanbargal matturm nambigal nilamaiyum.....



Why do u say that the chance is very slim. Thats the beauty. everyone for sure will meet their true love once in their life. so its not that you will never get to meet your truelove at all.

It will lastna, If you met your truelove and for him your the truelove then for sure it will last. thats fate.


Athu eppadi ka sollurenga... thats the beauty nu... appo more than once love panninavangalukku ellam beauty theriyalai.... summa solla koodathu.

Blues romba chinna pulla atha ippadi ellam solli kolapa koodathu....

Naduvule "its will lastma" vera enakku ennavo asthma na mari kekuthu... :sm12: :sm12: :sm12:

Above Quoted is pure exaguration.... reason venuma dissection panni soluren.

vasan
10-12-2004, 08:24 PM
Killuna valli eppadi oru feelingo athe mari than Love um... ithule poetry mix panni romba exagurate panni vitturanga.... silavanga athe pudichikittu thothikinnu irrukanga... ivalothan matter.


oii..oii.. oii... oiiiiii i !!! :P :P :P :P

Ennangaiyaa naduvilaa ippadi secret forces vachu thaakkuthal pannureeenga.. :ahha: Poetry illaatha vaazhvu and kaathal (or kaathal illaathaa poetry), kaaththu illaatha ulagaththukku samam.. :P :P

Though Sri, Blues & I argue for the same point, (true love can happen more than once), see how different our view points are... :wink: Whichever way you look at it.. it can happen more than once.. :b:

v-

ps:


Blues romba chinna pulla atha ippadi ellam solli kolapa koodathu....


aammam aamaam.. blue-kuttikku vaayila viral vaichaalum kadikka theriyaathu.. :P :P Innum bottle-la ooththi thaan milk kudippanga.. :sm12: :sm12:

Priyam2004
10-12-2004, 08:50 PM
Thanks for your comments Shy akka :b:
Thank you Anainar & Vasan for your opinions regarding my post! ;)

Ok…to love and love again…and then again…and again….and…again….and once more…and then one more time…and then repeating it once more…and then again…and again…..doesn’t this all seem a bit too erroneous??? :Ksp:

Of all these many love stories…only ‘one’ can be real..ie: means superior than the rest…makes you feel ‘more’ special than the rest, etc. In anything we see/do/want – there’s going to be ‘one’ better than the rest (fact) and that one better than the rest is the best…!!! Relating this verse to this topic = 'That one best is what we can call true love’. That doesn’t mean the rest weren’t true…I'm not saying that...I'm saying they were just not fit to be the best cos’ there was one better than those (it’s really a pretty simple logic!). Those who say...you can love again and as much as the previous...to me sounds like they don't quite know how to judge which is better compared to the other...ie: a bit confused maybe!!! :Ksp:

A lot of people don’t realise the best until…the last minute. As we grow older…we grow wiser…cos’ we start to learn more things and begin to eliminate things which we feel isn’t necessary or things which we can’t do anymore. The more we grow older…we start removing many things/activities from our life…and during the last few years we end up with not much to do and more time to think about all the past happenings…things which we did…things which we couldn’t do…etc. That’s when we think of all our past ‘love/other half’ relationships…weighing the odds…and at that point we realise who we ‘really’ loved/love (and miss)…that one special person who made you feel good – ie: better than the rest…that’s right - better than the rest…that ‘one’ special person is true…’true love’. Some people are lucky (& intelligent enough)…to discover their true love in their early ages – but some don't.

Love for fun/comfort/selfishness/time-pass/revenge/etc…is not love at all, so quoting those relationships as love is not viable.

People who say there’s no such thing as true love…well…not much I can say on that, cos’ that’s his/her opinion and they’re right to it…but…all I can say is: If there’s a kingdom…there’s a king (he’s noted better than the rest)…if there’s love…there’s true love (that’s noted better than the rest). If the first is real then the latter is real too. Another example: If you believe in god/religion…he will seem glorious…if you don’t believe in god/religion…he is just a stone. What I’m trying to say is true love exists…and he who believes will most surely meet that one true love and will have the ability to admit it! Even if you didn’t realise that he/she was the one at the time…there will be a point in your life (could even be on your deathbed - as I mentioned above) that you will have the opportunity to identify that love...that one special person.

A very good example:
Sorry to drag movies into this (as many of you think movies are like living in dreamland – some movies actually have real life, down to earth storylines – so to judge/consider all of them the same is bit stereo-typical :ee:). Anyhow…back on track - the movie ‘Autograph’ is the movie I'd like to talk abt -> The first love Cheran has in the movie is ‘Infactuation’ (a teenagers’ hallucination), beautifully screened. The relationship he has/had with Sneha is a good bond of friendship (not love). The unknown girl he marries in the end is just ‘someone’ with who he may fall in love with, maybe not (50/50 chance/risk)…aanaa…aanaa - Gopika - the Kerala girl…she is the one he really loved…and she is the one who will remain in his thoughts forever…she is the one who made him feel special…and although he ends up marrying some other girl…and is prepared to live happy with his newly married so-called wife…he won’t forget the love he shared with Gopika…and will have the courage to still do ‘anything’ for her (example: he was prepared to call his marriage off having after circulating all the invitations once he knew that Gopika lost her husband…he couldn’t bear the thought of he moving on ready to live with another girl whilst she – his love…stood there lost and lonely…it’s not guilt as many would say/think…it’s an emotional tie, if it was guilt…he would not deicide to stop ’his’ marriage…he would simply go searching for another half for Gopika…but he didn’t do that, he wanted to marry her himself without giving a thought about anything else…ie: his marriage, the girl who he was going to marry, all the guests/friends attending the ceremony, etc…at the point the only thing he could think of was Gopika…that is love! Gopika pleaded him not to do that and stressed she would be ‘more’ happy if he married the other girl…of course that’s a lie…however, that proves how much she loved him).

Whatever, like I said…love is a complex, heavy yet a wonderful feeling which makes you feel light…!!! ;)

The above statements are just my views...I'm not against anyone's thoughts/opinions here, like I said everyone is right to their own opinions - cos' what one thinks is based on their life experiences, from what they have learnt so far, and from what life has taught them!

Thanks for reading yet another long post! :P

sri_gan
10-12-2004, 09:04 PM
all these many love stories…only ‘one’ can be real..ie: means superior than the rest…makes you feel ‘more’ special than the rest, etc. In anything we see/do/want – there’s going to be ‘one’ better than the rest (fact) and that one better than the rest is the best…!!! Relating this verse to this topic = 'That one best is what we can call true love’. That doesn’t mean the rest weren’t true…I'm not saying that...I'm saying they were just not fit to be the best cos’ there was one better than those (it’s really a pretty simple logic!). Those who say...you can love again and as much as the previous...to me sounds like they don't quite know how to judge which is better compared to the other...ie: a bit confused maybe!!!


Pure crap..... What has love to do with Judgement anyway? On a pure form of Love there is absolutely nothing to Judge. Mother Teresa didn't judge anything when she showered the love towards the left outs....

So to me who ever say love cannot happen once again, they are optimally pessimist in their own heart and they are lieing to themselves.



A lot of people don’t realise the best until…the last minute. As we grow older…we grow wiser…cos’ we start to learn more things and begin to eliminate things which we feel isn’t necessary or things which we can’t do anymore. The more we grow older…we start removing many things/activities from our life…and during the last few years we end up with not much to do and more time to think about all the past happenings…things which we did…things which we couldn’t do…etc. That’s when we think of all our past ‘love/other half’ relationships…weighing the odds…and at that point we realise who we ‘really’ loved/love (and miss)…that one special person who made you feel good – ie: better than the rest…that’s right - better than the rest…that ‘one’ special person is true…’true love’. Some people are lucky (& intelligent enough)…to discover their true love in their early ages – but some don't.


Age has nothing to do with Love, In one form of Old ages they feel young in the pure form of love.... It cannot be defined as true love and will happen only once.... Again its a restricted module from the human brain which loves to be in boundaries (see there is a love in the last sentence also ;)) .

So Love happens more than once.



Love for fun/comfort/selfishness/time-pass/revenge/etc…is not love at all, so quoting those relationships as love is not viable.

People who say there’s no such thing as true love…well…not much I can say on that, cos’ that’s his/her opinion and they’re right to it…but…all I can say is: If there’s a kingdom…there’s a king (he’s noted better than the rest)…if there’s love…there’s true love (that’s noted better than the rest). If the first is real then the latter is real too. Another example: If you believe in god/religion…he will seem glorious…if you don’t believe in god/religion…he is just a stone. What I’m trying to say is true love exists…and he who believes will most surely meet that one true love and will have the ability to admit it! Even if you didn’t realise that he/she was the one at the time…there will be a point in your life (could even be on your deathbed - as I mentioned above) that you will have the opportunity to identify that love...that one special person


Wht will say to a person who loves to say there is no love? *Beat the crap outta him* Its a free world and they may identify many loves only by saying that also ....



A very good example:
Sorry to drag movies into this (as many of you think movies are like living in dreamland – some movies actually have real life, down to earth storylines – so to judge/consider all of them the same is bit stereo-typical ). Anyhow…back on track - the movie ‘Autograph’ is the movie I'd like to talk abt -> The first love Cheran has in the movie is ‘Infactuation’ (a teenagers’ hallucination), beautifully screened. The relationship he has/had with Sneha is a good bond of friendship (not love). The unknown girl he marries in the end is just ‘someone’ with who he may fall in love with, maybe not (50/50 chance/risk)…aanaa…aanaa - Gopika - the Kerala girl…she is the one he really loved…and she is the one who will remain in his thoughts forever…she is the one who made him feel special…and although he ends up marrying some other girl…and is prepared to live happy with his newly married so-called wife…he won’t forget the love he shared with Gopika…and will have the courage to still do ‘anything’ for her (example: he was prepared to call his marriage off having after circulating all the invitations once he knew that Gopika lost her husband…he couldn’t bear the thought of he moving on ready to live with another girl whilst she – his love…stood there lost and lonely…it’s not guilt as many would say/think…it’s an emotional tie, if it was guilt…he would not deicide to stop ’his’ marriage…he would simply go searching for another half for Gopika…but he didn’t do that, he wanted to marry her himself without giving a thought about anything else…ie: his marriage, the girl who he was going to marry, all the guests/friends attending the ceremony, etc…at the point the only thing he could think of was Gopika…that is love! Gopika pleaded him not to do that and stressed she would be ‘more’ happy if he married the other girl…of course that’s a lie…however, that proves how much she loved him).

Whatever, like I said…love is a complex, heavy yet a wonderful feeling which makes you feel light…!!!


Well, I don't know how long you guys can create theories and dream around, for a practical instance that movie had a Idea.

Basically, In a Indian community women are treated inside the home and they in the half way of comming out and these are just instances which happens here and there.

If we talk about this to a westener women they won't even a single clue what the hell these people are talking about.

Finally,

Love is a wonderful feeling no one denies that, but it can happen more than once in any form (True/False/Good/Bad/Ugly / whatever) and when it happens if there is restrictions arises for no reason, its a mere passing cloud.

Priyam2004
10-12-2004, 09:28 PM
Pure crap....

Thanks!!!



Basically, In a Indian community women are treated inside the home and they in the half way of comming out and these are just instances which happens here and there.

If we talk about this to a westener women they won't even a single clue what the hell these people are talking about.

If you're implying that at me cos' I was born and breaded outside India...hmm..even if one was born on Mars...they can still raise their thoughts regarding love cos' love's a universal feeling!

vasan
10-12-2004, 09:32 PM
Queenie, :P

Thanks for the long post. While you have spent an admirable amount of energy in explaining yourself, some basic errors once again form the foundations of your arguments. Let me begin, from the beginning..


Ok…to love and love again…and then again…and again….and…again….and once more…and then one more time…and then repeating it once more…and then again…and again…..doesn’t this all seem a bit too erroneous???

For some odd reason every one of you (pattampoochi, shy and you) have been consistenly saying that, falling in love more than once simply means that your love first time around is either infatuation, silly, freaky or puppy love. Please ! No one is arguing about or for puppy love. No one is confusing infatuation with love. Doesn't matter if you quote Autograph or Azhagi. I am not arguing for temporary imaginations, or hormonal impulses.

I am talking about true, honest to God love. And YES, you can fall in love more than once. Just because I am talking about falling in love more than once, please don't think that its fickle minded, casanova talk. Ok? Please. :pray:


only ‘one’ can be real..ie: means superior than the rest…makes you feel ‘more’ special than the rest, etc.

All this talk about one best relationship.. ?!! :(

I mean, how do you propose test what is best? So, lets say, two years down the road you have another relationship that's better than the previous best, would you call the previous one as something less than the truest love?

Please do not compare and say this is best, and that is small (be it love life or friendships). Some are close friends some are not - but being close has nothing to do with being best. Best in what sense, anyway? Relationships are not made to weigh on a physical balance and judge critically. Its not only about what makes you FEEL more special, but its also about how much you make the other person feel special. Truly, its two-person thing. Not a single person one.

Instead of defining what exactly you would consider as a true love, you have talked about best (not saying what you consider as best), realising best until last minute (with out saying what is the best that we are supposed to realize) and more of the same mythical or utopian ideas of love.

True love, to me, is a growing trust and understanding and affection and dependence on the other person. Its necessarily combines emotional (affection and dependence) as well as logical and rational, dealing with mental resolve (trust and understanding of the other person). When it lacks either of the component, you mess it up or it would end up as friendship or something else. True love involves the above said aspects. (Thats why I keep repeating its not infatuation.. you see, its trust & understanding and resolve.. no one under the sun has called infatuation using these names.. :P ).. And its is in your mind, its partly your decision to stick to one person while they are alive (or whatever).. Thats why its possible to love some one else later on (either with them dead or otherwise).

Binding things into such arbitrary lines of 'true love', 'one best thing', or 'maturity' is not going to help in understanding what it is about. Also no one says there is no true love. All that we are saying is that the kind of true love you folks are talking about (not that you have defined it, but vaguely, lyrically pointed out :wink: ), are totally mythical and utopian. Thats it. True love does exist. True love is trusting the other person, and understanding them, and resolving to be with them through thick and thin. And true love can happen more than once.

And inspite of saying a zillion times that its the resolve and understanding, you folks complain about..


Love for fun/comfort/selfishness/time-pass/revenge/etc…is not love at all, so quoting those relationships as love is not viable

:Ksp: :Ksp:

Many does not mean lack of morals or being play boys, folks. Many means out of understanding and knowledge, out of love and respect, out of everything else that describe the same set of attributes you associate with love. Only thing is, that there is more than one person, and so interactions you have with each of them differ, common interests could be different, but deep inside the qualities that describe the true love (vis a vis, what is said above) are exactly the same between them alll.. and it can happen! Most surely. :b:

Please forgive me for 'this remembering love song thing.. '. I already said about it. Who says you can't remember your past, and why should that makes present a lie?? Everything had time and space, and thats past. Kaput. You remember them fondly - much like you remember your grade school and friends and so on - but it does not reduce or belittle what you have now. It adds more understanding and whatever else, but it does not negate the fact that, what is now is equally real and true and honest and beautiful.

I am 'against' your opinions, dearest Priyam.. :wink: :P :P :P I respect them, but would dearly beg to differ from them.. :P

Thank god, at least you folks agree that you can have 'many' true friends.. :P :P

v-

ps: Please folks, I respect enormously and consider its a great honor to talk and discuss issues with each of you. If I said something - like you said or your views etc - its more a short hand way of arguing about the topic, than about criticizing you personally. Please don't be offended, and if you are, please forgive me. I 'love' you all equally and truly.. :P :P Yeah, with me, many is equally possible.. :wink: (rrr.. not love you love you type love you, but you know.. the love you.. rr.r.. forget it.. :oops: :oops:Lets just say.. you are the bestest of all friends.. :P )

Priyam2004
10-12-2004, 09:43 PM
Thank you very much Vasan!

sri_gan
10-12-2004, 09:51 PM
If you're implying that at me cos' I was born and breaded outside India...hmm..even if one was born on Mars...they can still raise their thoughts regarding love cos' love's a universal feeling!


hmm.... Did you read Blue Lotus posts? Are you telling she is born is Mars?

Blues watch out..... there is a rumour going on about you :sm12: :sm12: :sm12:

anainar
10-12-2004, 10:02 PM
Priyam,

We know that you mean well PQP. And you are not against any body. So, keep it coming. If we can open a closed window, this post will be worth its effort.

Love has many driving factors. Fun is definitely one among them. When being with the loved one, you feel comfortable, playing pranks, making fun, essentially doing "N" number of things. So, having those aspirations in love does not belittle love. It is affects one's life in a multifacetted way. And none of them or despicable. So, dont use those terms to degrade love.

Taking your own example of Autograph, if only situations worked in favour of Cheran marrying Gopika, would you call that true love? Every one makes decisions based on current situations. Trying to brand some thing as true while some thing as not because of decisions taken at a snap shot in time, is not correct. Cheran chose to leave Gopika because that is a decision he took, given the situation. That does not belittle his love for Gopika. As simple as that. It is just that he shut one facet of his love for her. That is the point we make.

Dont try to grade love, some thing as true and some thing as false. Love cannot be seen in Black and White. There are millions of shades of grey in between. That is all.

Cheers

PS: My thoughts overlap a lot with Vasan and hence just wrote the same in a different way.

psps: Priyam, pesaaama Lawyer padingo. You are arguing vehemently for a case that does not hold water. :wink: :wink:

Cheers

vasan
10-12-2004, 10:06 PM
psps: Priyam, pesaaama Lawyer padingo. You are arguing vehemently for a case that does not hold water. :wink: :wink:


Sir,

Judge & jury should learn to think in lateral terms.. :sm12: :sm12: :sm12:

Ivanga kelvikku oppsite party- yosiththu yosiththey seththuduvaan.. appuram enga case.. :P :P :P

Queenie.. Chummaa pagidimaa.. :sm03: :sm03: :pray: Kovichukaatheenga.. :oops:

v-

Bluelotus
10-12-2004, 11:01 PM
:00: :00: :00: okie never mind :ee:
we all love each other here!!
trust me I love the whole lot of you anyway :ee:
now go define love if you dare :evil:

no pesonal attacks :wink: all clean and jolly ...


...........................

Queenie Baby
new to arguing with the these lovely ppl aren't you sweety... :yes: take it easy ma...it will get interesting by the second.. :ee: promise..cross my heart and hope to fly to the Moon :P
chummah ellam just for fun :D don't take anything to heart ...stick to your beliefs :b:

( :ush: I'm hiding for a bit 'cause I'm desperately trying to read your posts....just a tad long..will get there eventually :P )

.........................


hmm.... Did you read Blue Lotus posts? Are you telling she is born is Mars?

Blues watch out..... there is a rumour going on about you

neengalae half start pannittu :Ksp: warn panringalaa :sm12:

Trust me I wasn't "breaded" anywhere :wink: :ee:
and certainly wouldn't choose Mars...mayhap warm sunny Barbados :sm12:

blue is not kutti...she's quite tall :wink:



......................

Shy Akka,
the reason I said the chances are very slim is because....well I don't travel that much.
there are so many ppl in the world ...say for example there are 1 billion possible male partners for me out there..and out of those only one is the "true love" ...and say I was extremely reclusive...well how is the meeting going to take place...really awful at maths...so can't tell you exactly ...but the probability of me meeting than one poor soul is slim.

I mean even me meeting hugh grant is slim ...unless i started actively stalking him :ahha: :wink: :sm12:


oh can you guarrantee that if the potential "he" is my true love then that I would be his true love too?
see the thing is the whole idea is driving my neurones mental ..there are too many unknowns...and say that person did indeed exhist ..but had a totally different background to mine...it wouldn't work out...

so my theory is that the almighty or fate or mother nature...has planned for these mishaps...and created many possible love interests for all of us...

have you seen that movie "sleepless in seattle" he loses one love yet gains another one...and you cannot say that one or the other was the true one...
not rebound...or 'cause his son needed a mother, or even family...'cause then he would have married that awful red haired woman :ahha:

come on akka...think abt it a little ...you might just see the convoluted logic of my theory :sm03:

.............................. ................

Priyam darling,
you cannot am afraid dismiss love at any age as immature or worthless ...they are all true at the time...and trust me the feeling of each one, "cheran" shall never forget.... each and everyone of those loves were true, real and heart felt....
some may seem more intense due to environmental situations...but that will not decrease the intensity of the others...

each and every love and every form of love is true....for you feel each instances...if you cannot believe what you feel ..what can you trust? after all isn't love a feeling.

----------------------------------------------

to read this one I will need a long weekend or an extra hour :wink:

cheerio :D
blue.

butterfly
10-12-2004, 11:01 PM
Priyam,
Its a pleasure to read ur posts...so pls do write ...sometimes truth is hard to digest :)

vasan anna wrote,


True love, to me, is a growing trust and understanding and affection and dependence on the other person. Its necessarily combines emotional (affection and dependence) as well as logical and rational, dealing with mental resolve (trust and understanding of the other person). When it lacks either of the component, you mess it up or it would end up as friendship or something else. True love involves the above said aspects.


are u sure about wat u have written anna...coz ur posts says
1) affection and dependence

2) trust and understanding of the other person

If this is true just answer this question...How do I trust the person of not falling in love with someone else ??...If love is not limited to one person does this mean i can fall in love with any tom & harry?or better y not both?

If true love is affection & dependence??...dependence of wat??

anainar
10-13-2004, 12:16 AM
Pattams,

இப்படி, what? When? Why? ன்னு கேள்வி கேட்டா பயந்துருவோ மாஎன்ன?? We are a strong team. Vasan teacher will come and answer. But my thoughts on this...


do I trust the person of not falling in love with someone else ??...

You will trust a person only when you have control over him/her?? To me, once fallen in love and get into serious commitment in the form of marriage, that facet of love is shut down for any other women( or men in the other case ). So, we dont look at another women/men through that prism. To know that a person will shut that door in a serious relationship is trust. Someday for zillion other reasons that door might open. That does not belittle the current relationhip or the past one. Sariyaa? Tell me whether I am wrong.

Dependance on everything on each other. No one is superior or inferior. Husband depends on wife, and so does wife. What they depend on each other differs between couple to couple. And the feeling of dependence does not creep in between the loved ones. It is their right to expect that. I might think twice before asking my friend to drive me to some place, but I wont think at all to ask my wife to drive me. This is a simple thing. Because though we depend, we dont feel we are dependant. That is what I mean. Again, this is also just one facet of love. Not the entire gambit of love.

Waiting for Vasan teacher to add more

Cheers

sri_gan
10-13-2004, 01:06 AM
Priyam,
Its a pleasure to read ur posts...so pls do write ...sometimes truth is hard to digest


Romba thatathinga... I mean rotiya sonnen :sm12: :sm12: :sm12: :sm12:

Few Good Men nu oru padam athule Jack Nicholson sollura dialogue mari vidurenga...


{Shivaji Style for Iyanaar}

Iyaa,

Nenga pugaluringala illa kavukkurengala onnume puriyalaiye iyaa yaiyaaa.... ;)



If this is true just answer this question...How do I trust the person of not falling in love with someone else ??...If love is not limited to one person does this mean i can fall in love with any tom & harry?or better y not both?


When you expect a trust from another person, you must be prepared to prove yourself trustable. Period. In case of a relationship you should be even prepared earlier to show the same.

Say for example two people say they are in love and one of them hides the truth for a stupid reason.... how long do you think your true love concept gonna work... they need to break up and they can find their own ways.... and its absolutely nothing wrong... We say True love can be found multiple times....

In my example, First time a True Love was for some weird reason, if one of those partner really found the lover, its again true love what you guys stand for....

So love happens for anything and everything and it happens more than once....

sri_gan
10-13-2004, 01:11 AM
neengalae half start pannittu warn panringalaa

Trust me I wasn't "breaded" anywhere
and certainly wouldn't choose Mars...mayhap warm sunny Barbados

blue is not kutti...she's quite tall


Blues,

I didn't talk about tall or short here anywhere....

vasan
10-13-2004, 01:34 AM
Priyam,
Its a pleasure to read ur posts...so pls do write ...sometimes truth is hard to digest :)

vasan anna wrote,


True love, to me, is a growing trust and understanding and affection and dependence on the other person. Its necessarily combines emotional (affection and dependence) as well as logical and rational, dealing with mental resolve (trust and understanding of the other person). When it lacks either of the component, you mess it up or it would end up as friendship or something else. True love involves the above said aspects.


are u sure about wat u have written anna...coz ur posts says
1) affection and dependence

2) trust and understanding of the other person

If this is true just answer this question...How do I trust the person of not falling in love with someone else ??...If love is not limited to one person does this mean i can fall in love with any tom & harry?or better y not both?

If true love is affection & dependence??...dependence of wat??

Enna ellorum 'kovamaa' pesureenga? Sooodana debate-aa? :wink: Priyam is our 'LTC' (lateral thinking chellam.. :wink: ).. She is still thinking seriously about what I wrote.. She is very special, because, she is our first 'convert'... :P :P :P

Ofcourse, Pattampoochi. I can't stand and claim to its veracity like the law of gravity, but, yes, I do believe what I wrote is true, and its not merely for the sake of argument. :wink: It may be incomplete (or phrased better), but the essence is totally true.

Love is not limited to one person. You can fall in love with vasan1, vasan2,... et.al. Very true. Thats why I 'trust' the person. If it is impossible to fall in love with another person, where is the need to trust? (I don't have to trust the law of gravity. It will do its job. Same way I can say for love, right? ). I need to trust, and I pledge my faithfulness too, saying I will only love her.. (There is a good reason why people get married in front of every one.. அக்கினி சாட்சியா, அம்மி மிதிச்சு, எல்லோருக்க ும் முன்னாடி மூணு முடிச்சு போட்டு, இந்த பொண்ணை மட்டும் தான் ஏத்துக்கிற ேன்னு சொல்லுறோமி ல்ல? பொண்ணுஙல்ல ும் தாலிய கட்டிகிட்ட ு, நல்ல மனைவியா இருப்பேன்ன ு வாக்கு குடுக்கராங இல்ல?.. I take this woman as my lawfully wedded wife, and cherish her, love her.. before God and men.... Thats why. We can fall in love with many, but I pledge that it will only be her. Before God and Men. That essentially is the marriage vow.

And each has to trust the other that they will keep the vow or pledge. (If you don't trust, why would you marry them in the first place?!).. Love (whether before or after marriage), and true love ofcourse, is totally based on this trust.

Why can't I love two people? Its the choice you make - the mental resolve I talked about. Its quite possible that I could love sue & jill with equal intensity and truth, but I pledge to love and cherish only jen. And Jen trusts me to that. Exactly same with jen too.. mike & bob, but hey, she chooses to love and cherish only v-.. thats it.. :P True love, is once you make that committment, keeping that trust the other person has in you, to try with all that you have to cherish and love and please her. To do that, you understand her better, adopt a little, compromise some, and some how try to grow into the best couple you could be. Thats it.

Thats why such things when breaks down (say the spouse is dead), you could make the same committment with another person, and pursue with exact same intensity and faithfulness to be the best couple you could be with that person. Thats all. True love, indeed, is not binding you to one person, at all.

Dependence is not a bad word, Pattampoochi.. :P Its not being a slave or being a parasite. Dependence is the sense of completion you have with your spouse. I do everything myself now (as I am all alone and single, and dear Esha is pursuing her career.. :wink:), but when you are a couple you do things together. You trust them, and depend on them to complete it.. Depend on them to understand your 'crazy life' and take you as you are. Depend on them to support you when you need them. Depend on them to ask you for help, where you could assist them the best. Depend on them to leave you in peace or give you freedom to explore your talents.. depend on them for emotional needs.. sometimes for security and sometimes for food.. but more than everything, you depend on them for their love.. You love them (emotionally, intellectually, and with commitment) and you depend on them to respond in the same way..

There are unfortunate times, when the other person does not reciprocate the same commitment or response. Emotionally, and with mental resolve, and they fail the trust. Its heartbreaking, but need not kill us. You 'forgive' them and move on. You will always find a person, who would reciprocate the same sense of love, (trust, emotion, understanding, mental resolve etc), and you love them and be happy.. :P

Thats why, dear blue, that though you might not meet the entire 1 billion eligibles, there is someone who would reciprocate your commitment, and trust, and would learn to understand you and adjust and go forth to creating the magic of 'true love'.. :P

Did I explain my view point, pattampoochi? Do you want to switch sides.. :wink: :P :P

Vasan

ps: Wonder if one of the ETMS understands and willing to reciprocate... :wink: :sm12:

butterfly
10-13-2004, 03:11 AM
Pattams,

இப்படி, what? When? Why? ன்னு கேள்வி கேட்டா பயந்துருவோ மாஎன்ன?? We are a strong team.


anainar :)
summa try panni parthen :ahha:

But seriously I was asking those questions...coz u guys claim about love happening many times & its possiblenu solreengo...but lets reveiw the example u gave here okva?




To me, once fallen in love and get into serious commitment in the form of marriage, that facet of love is shut down for any other women( or men in the other case ).


Tell me anainar how its different frm wat we have been saying?
Nangalum idhai thane solrom...Once u Love someone u shut that door to others...it cannot happen over & over again



Someday for zillion other reasons that door might open. That does not belittle the current relationhip or the past one. Sariyaa? Tell me whether I am wrong.


Ur not wrong anainar...ippo than u started thinking in the right way :)...If u notice its MIGHT not it will....so Ur not sure about it which itself says that Love Is not something which is sure to jump frm one person to another :)



I might think twice before asking my friend to drive me to some place, but I wont think at all to ask my wife to drive me.


Y do u have to think twice with ur friend but not ur wife?...Y do we feel so free with our loved one but hesitate with our friends?...If all Love is same then Y is it U feel free with ur wife more than ur friend...yosingo :think:

Sri wrote,


Romba thatathinga... I mean rotiya sonnen


appadingala??....Neengalum vangale...ungaluku tharen...but no roti only poori :sm12:



So love happens for anything and everything and it happens more than once....

are u talking about materialistic stuff...then i agree...coz today i love to hear happy music tom i might like sad songs ...but if ur talking about relationships then how many times u fall in love before u marry?



In my example, First time a True Love was for some weird reason, if one of those partner really found the lover, its again true love what you guys stand for....

Inge enna solreengo...konjum explain panungo...coz i dont want to interpret u wrong here

butterfly
10-13-2004, 03:38 AM
vasan anna wrote,


Enna ellorum 'kovamaa' pesureenga? Sooodana debate-aa?


Annoi,
U know me dont like debates :)...& me kobam...nope anna...U wud have heard it if i was kobam :)...now let me read wat u have explained...2 kelviku ivalavu periya post hmmmmmm...:)



She is very special, because, she is our first 'convert'...

asai dhosai apla vadai... :nono: ...avunga enge side than...karthis kanom indha pakam...avungalum vandhango nalla irukum :)



I need to trust, and I pledge my faithfulness too, saying I will only love her.. (There is a good reason why people get married in front of every one.. அக்கினி சாட்சியா, அம்மி மிதிச்சு, எல்லோருக்க ும் முன்னாடி மூணு முடிச்சு போட்டு, இந்த பொண்ணை மட்டும் தான் ஏத்துக்கிற ேன்னு சொல்லுறோமி ல்ல? பொண்ணுஙல்ல ும் தாலிய கட்டிகிட்ட ு, நல்ல மனைவியா இருப்பேன்ன ு வாக்கு குடுக்கராங இல்ல?.. I take this woman as my lawfully wedded wife, and cherish her, love her.. before God and men.... Thats why. We can fall in love with many, but I pledge that it will only be her. Before God and Men. That essentially is the marriage vow.



Now u have started thinking Like us :)...kai kodungo... :yes: ...U pledge ur love to him/her...so its trust basically that he/she wud love u back...But if she/he says I love u the same as I love my friend...will u accept it?...or better wud u tell her I am sorry honey I can love u only as i love my friend?...coz my love is same to all...
enna me confusing u now??...Think Think anna...wat makes u take that pledge & love ur wife...is the love for ur wife going to be same as ur mom or ur sis...



Why can't I love two people?

True love, is once you make that committment, keeping that trust the other person has in you, to try with all that you have to cherish and love and please her. To do that, you understand her better, adopt a little, compromise some, and some how try to grow into the best couple you could be. Thats it. ...ur words exactly :)...but when shy,priyam & myself said this we were wrong :00:



but when you are a couple you do things together. You trust them, and depend on them to complete it.. Depend on them to understand your 'crazy life' and take you as you are. Depend on them to support you when you need them. Depend on them to ask you for help, where you could assist them the best. Depend on them to leave you in peace or give you freedom to explore your talents.. depend on them for emotional needs.. sometimes for security and sometimes for food.. but more than everything, you depend on them for their love.. You love them (emotionally, intellectually, and with commitment) and you depend on them to respond in the same way..


All coz of the LOve u have for that person annoi...



Did I explain my view point, pattampoochi? Do you want to switch sides..

Ur already thinking like us annoi :)...so ofcourse we are on one side...The side which says LOve is Stability,dependence,trust.... It doesnt Jump frm one person to another...coz thats wat was sarvana's question...


why many people cant stick to 1 .............y?


regarding the Question
do we love just once in our life??????????????? or is it ever happening.........ever changing......

its a question with subdivisions...anna answer this :)

vasan
10-13-2004, 04:02 AM
so ofcourse we are on one side...The side which says LOve is Stability,dependence,trust.... It doesnt Jump frm one person to another...coz thats wat was sarvana's question...


Pattaampoochi.. :)

No one is suggesting (neither me, nor anainar nor any one else is) that people should not be faithful. Thats not the point at all. I can't say to my wife that I love you just like I love Aishwarya.. :ahha:

What we are trying to say is, that it is possible to experience the true love with more than one person. My wife is dead. I am marrying second time. I can feel the true love with my second wife.

I broke up with my ex girlfriend. She does not love me to start with.. (oru thalai raagam.. :wink:Or the story of my life.. :sm12: )... I can fall in love again, with another person, and it can be a true love. Okvaa?

Falling in love with two people simultaneously? Its physically possible, but it would not be true, because true love, as we have defined it requires commitment and mental resolve to be a one girl guy.. Okvaa??

All of you.. :ee: Don't read what I write, but just conclude that I am going for a second wife, and third and so on.. :Ksp:

It should answer your last question also. I don't love once only in my life. I can many times - with entirely different persons. Even with the same person, I can fall in love all over again (meaning the love I have with her changes, grows deeper and meaningful and so on.. :P )..

Love is all about trust and resolve to be with one person. When the person does not reciprocate (think me & T :wink:), it is not impossible to fall in love again afresh (say me & new one.. :wink:).. And it will change from brand new to comfortable to more and more blessed.. Should one of us die and the other person can (and perhaps should) fall in love again.. :)

Okvaa? :P :P I see that by calling me as your side, what is happening is reallly relative... :) neenga enn side-kku maritta piragu, naanum neengalum oree side thaan.. athula naan unga sidenaa enna, neenga enside naa enna? :P :P

v-

Priyanka
10-13-2004, 05:30 AM
Ella aangalum paarunga. Love need not occur only once in lifengaraanga. Aana ladies ellarum paarunga. It occurs only once-ungaraanga. So gents, unga ellarukkum purinjurukkum yen naan "men are evil" appadingara vishaiyathula strong-a irukken.

Sorry pattams for the late entry and thanks for your PM. Intha topic-la ivvalavu nadanthurukku eppadi naan gavanikkama ponennu theriyalai. Postings avvalavaiyum padikkaratthukku innikku enakku time illai Detailed-a padicchuttu appuram naan vaadhaaduren.


What we are trying to say is, that it is possible to experience the true love with more than one person. My wife is dead. I am marrying second time. I can feel the true love with my second wife.

Athu than vasan avargale ungalukkum engalukkum vidhyaasam. Aambalainga etthanai dhadavai venumnaalum love pannuvaanga. Aana I can swear ladies appadi illai. A husband can forget his love for his first wife and can be happy with his second wife. But if a husband dies wife can never forget husbands love.

Starting from now itself I started praying god that I should die before my husband. According to me my father, my mother, my brother, and even my kid are only secondary to my husband. Avar illatha ulagatthai ennala nenacchu kooda parka mudiyaathu.


I broke up with my ex girlfriend. She does not love me to start with.. (oru thalai raagam.. :wink:Or the story of my life.. )... I can fall in love again, with another person, and it can be a true love. Okvaa?

Ithuve naana iruntha enna theriyuma panniruppen. Ava bathilukku enna kathalikkaraala illaiyannu nan sattaiye panniyirukka matten. I will always be loving her. Athukkaaha Devdas madiri thanni adicchu roat-la padutthu urundu athellam pannanumnu sollalai. I will carry on with my work but never fall in love again. This is my point of view.

[quote]When the person does not reciprocate (think me & T ) [quote]
Asai dhosai appam vadai :ahha:

Bluelotus
10-13-2004, 11:09 AM
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Aambalainga etthanai dhadavai venumnaalum love pannuvaanga. Aana I can swear ladies appadi illai.

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uhhh and me :cry: am I not a lady or at least a girl :00:

:? I am so confused now :?

katteri
10-13-2004, 11:36 AM
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:? I am so confused now :?



:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:

katteri
10-13-2004, 11:43 AM
Karthis maami...Y do u call men are evil....

Almost all religious people state that women are evil...

Christianity: Its ave who forced adam to pluck the apple.
Hindu: mathu, maadhu rendum veendaaaa....

anainar
10-13-2004, 12:39 PM
Now u have started thinking Like us ...kai kodungo... ...U pledge ur love to him/her...so its trust basically that he/she wud love u back...

Patts, இல்லீங்கோ!! You have started thinking like us. No one denies that one has to be faithful and believe in one man/one wife theory. Whether that is the best or not is a different debate altogether and we can have that too. :ahha: :ahha: So, we are all on agreement on that. Some one was asking about ADR - Arbitrated Dispute Resolution. This is how we go forward. Write down what we agree on first in principle. So, we are all on agreement that one man/one wife at a snap shot of time.

Where we differ is branding that as true love and telling that it does not happen again. Marriage is one big step that is being taken in the love journey. The flight might crash for "N" number of reasons, at any point of time. The other person might not reciprocate love/affection after a period of time. It is all grandstanding to say that "I will shower love whetther the other person loves me or not". Imaging, two people staying in the same roof, one not willing to talk at all to the other for what ever reason? Or one person finds that they made a mistake or misjudgement. Or the other person dies in an accicent. These are some of the reasons. Should this person keep on saying, "I love you"??? Come on, this is absolute utopianism. Accept the fact and move on.

Once moved on, the love might happen again. This is totally different and not to be linked/compared with earlier one. Look at each one as they are new entities and cherish the moments, instead of feeling guilty or having failed the "True Love Test" There is no such thins as True Love Test and every husband/wife, BF/GF has to pass through that. Take life as it comes without any prejudices or pre-concieved notions.

Karthis, vaango, vaango, your team was accepting defeat and changing sides to ours. You have brought a huge rhetoric while coming itself. Come on, a wife is not husbands world and it is true vice versa also. Take them as individuals and you are together because you two want to be together. Not to prove some thing or pass some test. If for some reason the two feel they dont belong to each other for a zillion reasons, accept that and move on, instead of feeling guilty of having failed a test. Some puzzles are solved in 1 minute, some take 10 years. If after 10 years of solving, findout that the answer is not what you thought it is going to be, why feel gloomy?? Move on..

Bluesy, dont give your ears or thoughts to these rhetoric. You are the only ratinal thinking, rhetoric hating mind in this crowd full of theatrics. Dont let these arguments get you into confusion. No confusion, what you are saying is right. You are not weak in maths. You gave a perfect scenario of probability of meeting some one in zillion choices. Normally one falls/resigns into marriage after 2-3 attempts( arranged marriage folks ) and if some one goes beyond 15-20, parents/siblings themselves get wary and stop looking. So, how do they claim that they found the so called true love? It is convenience they look at and get on with life, but put some "Test" criteria for others and make them feel guilty if they speak up their mind or show in actions. After a while from marriage, the convenience part of being together takes over and the parts one aspired for in their partner, even if missing are left unnoticed. That is a fact and they can gloss over it in many ways, but that is undeniable.

Cheers

katteri
10-13-2004, 12:52 PM
When do people fall in love:

People fall in love when their expectations are met....

Expectations may be personal quality and characters...
Kandathum kathal , boom kaathal, kaanatha kaathal ellam Humbug....
If suppose i fall in love with a girl....
The reason when someone asks y did u select that particular girl?
Following may be some answers
1) beautiful....subjective again whats beautful for me looks ugly for some one.
2)i liked her way of approach to people
3)kind hearted
so many characters can be included...

Do u call these as divine love.....

Human beings are made to be dependent on others. without others i cant survive and enjoy my life;

When expectations are met u bcome happy if not there is a disappointment...


When i looked into dictionary for the meaning of LOVE:(of course when it is used as a verb has a different meaning)
A strong positive emotion of regard and affection...

strong:its a range (strong, to weak)
Positive : it has scales (strongly postive to strongly negative)
emotion, regards affection: all vary from person to person

Multiplication of the above outocomes is love....so what is the pinnacle of love...is it the strongest outcome of above factors...

I will say love happens when expectations are fullfilled....
and its absolute nonsense to include a word divine in love..

chillixyz
10-22-2004, 05:31 PM
oru manishan than vazhnalla vara modhal kadalai avan aayu mudiyara varaikkum marakka mattan... kaaka kuruvi kitta kooda kaadhal irukku..

enna ithuellam engeyo ketta mathiri irukka.. courtesy vikraman thaan..

so kaathal enbathu oru thadavai thaan pookanum.. athu adikadi pootha athu kaadhal illai.. so appadi antha first time pookum bothu athu kaniya maaranum.. illaina life tragedyaa thaan maarum...

nerya peru sollarabadi.. kaadhal fail aagiduthana uyira vidarathu muttal thanam.. correct thaan.. so appo antha kaadhal azhiyama paathukka vendiyathu thaan kadhalikkaravangalodaya kadamai..

saravana.. ungalukku neraya anubavam irukku polairukku.. neraya padam pakkaringa pola.. athu thaan probs..



meera


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