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Priyanka
10-16-2004, 05:38 AM
Hello friends,

My doubt is wether in India, a lady can live alone without gents support. I am not talking about some developed countries, where it is much safer for a lady to be alone. I mean from her childhood till her end! Please share your views here.

If this topic has already been discussed in Geetham, sorry for the repetition.

Bluelotus
10-16-2004, 09:56 AM
the short and simple answer is: YES

the longer version ........well I'm far too angry to even post it here.
Frankly appalled that ppl are still questioning this in this day and age.

India and SriLanka are not some stupid backward countries stuck in the dark ages
:evil: :evil: :evil: :evil: :evil: :evil: :evil: :evil: :evil: :evil: :evil: :evil: :evil: :evil: :evil: :evil: :evil: :evil: :evil: :evil: :evil: :evil: :evil: :evil: :evil: :evil: :evil:

Women have equalled rights to men, they are educated, they take part in civic duties, they vote, they are part of the National Armies...for goodness sake ... prime ministers and presidents of those countries are and have been women!


and to think that you Priyanka who on a hourly basis disses (put down) the poor Male Geethamites, question this....well shocking! :00:

Just because women have a good relationship with men and wish to have male friends as well as get married to one, in those countries, doesn't imply that they require theri protection.

If you feel unsafe go get some Self-defence classes. Women can live independently in India and Sri Lanka

those countries are not after all Saudi Arabia or UAE, or Bahrain, etc..
If they can do it in Pakistan ...why can't they in India and Sri Lanka?

dinesh
10-16-2004, 10:45 AM
What a weird question..... :think:

Course they can. Do you think they lack certain something so that they cannot survive. I certainly don't think so. In fact I am of the strong view that women should always try and figure out what they want to do with their lives regardless of social norms. After all we are supposed to live in a world where everything, at least in theory, should be equal.

Priyanka
10-16-2004, 01:55 PM
and to think that you Priyanka who on a hourly basis disses (put down) the poor Male Geethamites, question this....well shocking!

I very well have positive mindset. But I just wanted to know others idea. Thats it.

anainar
10-16-2004, 03:43 PM
Priyanka,

India or Srilanka are not that bad for women. Atleast in many areas ( not necessarily in the interior villages or BIMARU states ) women do live single and have their own choice of partners too.

For any individual, there is a need for support system. Emotional, phyiscal, material etc... That is 200% sure. It all depends on how much an individual's need is. Being independent means developing all the necessary support systems. Not just material by working. When marriage happens, it does address some of the support. If one chooses not to marry, she should be ready to face the world if some of the support systems go away. That is all. And if one is determined it is possible. It does happen in India and there are single women wading through troubled waters themselves.

To be fair, it is the same for men too. Men too need supports. All the same. Except modern day professionals are much more adept at developing their own systems. They travel miles and miles away from their home to different countries, develop their own systems where ever they are. So, this question like Blue said redundant. If one wants to, there are ways. But beware of the choices.

Cheers.

vasan
10-16-2004, 07:59 PM
Cool it, Blues, dearie.. :P :P :P

No one is advocating it. Priya is only trying to get an opinion.. And quite frankly, its not that simple.. :( I have grown up in India, and I have seen it all too weell...

Its not easy for single women, Priya. Problem is indian society is very much 'family' oriented.. And people frown and so on to adjust to single women. Frankly, the only women whom I have seen that are single - are because they had to support their siblings or widowed and had to support their children.

Its true that they can now a days manage a lot better - and live single life. Even so, if they choose to remain single for good, for any reason other than family, people do frown.. and its not very easy on them..

In my opinion.. indian society needs to go a long way before this is possible..

However, safety and security wise.. yeah... I think that things have improved quite a bit, and its not difficult.. Quite good actually..

v-

ashokcsn_2000
10-16-2004, 08:11 PM
Hye it is not the question of wether a woman can live alone. can anyone live alone all his life???

I think everyone needs some sort of support in life.... emotional moral and all sorts of stuff.. U definitely need a partner in live who can share ur stuff and be supportive to you... I suppose living alone in life will lead to a lot of mental stress for anyone.. be it a man or a woman... immaterial.



India and SriLanka are not some stupid backward countries stuck in the dark ages



Ujala u should see that India has got one of the best family and supportive structure in the world.... u find 90% of the ppl in other parts of the world to be crazy (mentally unwell in most cases) because of the fact thtat they have no suppprt throughout their lives....
In my beleif there is no harm in having a structured family and having a person live in it.... it gives you all the good in the world

dinesh
10-17-2004, 10:22 AM
In my beleif there is no harm in having a structured family and having a person live in it.... it gives you all the good in the world

This is a very generalized statement. Individuals choices differ. Some prefer to live in extended families, some in smaller ones and some prefer to be simply left alone (like me). So no way you can claim it is good for everyone.

I suppose living alone in life will lead to a lot of mental stress for anyone.. be it a man or a woman... immaterial.

Not really, I live alone and I am quite happy (though I sometimes wonder whether it'd be better to live with someone who can cook better :( )

AnniyaN
10-17-2004, 06:39 PM
In mah view, its pretty hard for a girl to live alone in india..

1. Can't find a job that what she want
2. 2 many perverts there
3. society seperate woman who are not married..

Priyanka
10-17-2004, 06:42 PM
I agree with you anniyan. Very very few places are safe for a woman to live alone. Athu mattum illaama people have a very bad impression on ladies who live alone there. As far as India is concerned, it is almost impossible for a lady to live without male support unless they live in some women's hostel. Thaniya veedu edutthu thangarathu ellam out of question. Athu thaan unmai.

bbabab2004
10-26-2004, 01:19 AM
i think this question is very stupid. these days women are given all rights in India.
yes in early years of this century, women were illtreated and prevelant views were
against women. but these days 34% of IT force in India is women which they said
in businessindia. so statistically also women are improving one day they will be ahead
of men. ;) so women can live life independently i think. she is given all oppurtunities
see i was in India when I participated in school sports meet and I was the leader in
triple jump and long jump track event. my mother said in her age she was not allowed
to play only in school after school classes are over. so now everything is equal rights for women. to sit at home and cry for lack of oppurtunities only weak women will do. just my idea on toipic. ok bye

butterfly
10-27-2004, 02:55 PM
i think this question is very stupid. these days women are given all rights in India.
yes in early years of this century, women were illtreated and prevelant views were
against women. but these days 34% of IT force in India is women which they said
in businessindia. so statistically also women are improving one day they will be ahead
of men. so women can live life independently i think.


bbabab,
neengo sonadhu ellam unmai than...profession wise we have improved a lot...& we have a lot of oppurtunities to develop wat we want too...but are we able to walk independent @ 12 midnight in chennai...adhu konjum yosichu paarungo...u might know karate.kumfu or watever....wud u still feel safe to walk @ 12 midnight?

oru ponnu thaniya vazhndhu katalamnu perisa solliduvom...but basic intinct of a women is to nurture...wat is the point of having a good profession earning loads of money but noone to share with?

RaasuKutty
10-27-2004, 04:04 PM
...but are we able to walk independent @ 12 midnight in chennai...adhu konjum yosichu paarungo...u might know karate.kumfu or watever....wud u still feel safe to walk @ 12 midnight?


Butterfly,

Walking at 12:00 in the night is dangerous in most part of the world for everyone.. :ahha: :ahha:

I have been in Chennai, Blr, Hyd and Coimbatore.. I have found women moving around in all these places after 12:00... Hyderabad municipal corporation employs women to clean/sweep the roads and all these are done after 1:00 in the night.. and in most of the streets, you can find 1 female working independently without any fear..

All these things are related to the acceptance level of ppl.. If we r still relating intermittant incidences, we will never come to a conclusion..

There are 1000's of ppl around us.. police are here for everyones protection.. :P :P

...RK

goodcomplanboy
10-27-2004, 04:09 PM
There are 1000's of ppl around us.. police are here for everyones protection..


Oh appadingala!!! then why there are so many rape and crime cases :think:

Priyanka
10-27-2004, 05:22 PM
There are 1000's of ppl around us.. police are here for everyones protection..

Athu ellam sari. Aana oru ponnala dhairiyama thaniya police station poittu vara mudiyuma? Athai sollunga modhalla!

RaasuKutty
10-27-2004, 06:11 PM
Oh appadingala!!! then why there are so many rape and crime cases


This is an understatement.. Just b'coz we hear and see info about some crimes doesnt mean that police dept is dysfunctional..

Try reading the same this way, How do so many ppl live in this world without being a victim of these crimes...



Athu ellam sari. Aana oru ponnala dhairiyama thaniya police station poittu vara mudiyuma? Athai sollunga modhalla!


PK, Have u ever been to a police station in India??? Ask anyone who has been there.. Indian police are indeed friendly and are extremely helpful.. pls do not make assumptions based on some media coverage..

On a very personal note, I am extremely sad to see such a comment about our police personnel.. Definitively, they need to come up with some better ideas and action to build confidence..

coolian
10-27-2004, 06:38 PM
It's a very valid question, priyankakutty. India's a HUGE country and saying one thing may apply to one of its regions - and not the others. Although India is developing tremendously, the fact remains that our country's economy is still primarily based on the agricultural sector. The reason I'm bringing this up is that we have to remind ourselves that about 70-75% of Indians live in villages (I remember this from some paper I read based on the '91 census). And obviously, while women in the city have achieved "equal rights" and all that stuff, the reality is that this is simply not the case in (some/most) villages. Single women above the age of 25 are looked down upon, widows are looked down upon, a girl talking to a boy is frowned upon...these are some things that only time can heal. So for now - sadly - I believe it's difficult - but obviously, possible - for a woman to live alone in India (in most regions, anyway) as our society has not yet become flexible enough for that.

Priyanka
10-28-2004, 03:59 AM
How can you say that India is safe for a female to live alone. My dear Geethamites. I think, Indiannaale ungalukku Delhi, Bombay, Madras, Calcutta, Bangalore andha maadiri metropolitan cities thaan ungalukku gnyabagam varuthunnu ninaikkaren.

I don't have any idea about SriLanka. But as far as India is concerned, as coolian said, about 70-75% of Indians, i.e. majority of them live in villages. Believe me. In villages, people cannot even digest the concept of women living alone. Even in Madras I have hardly seen any girls or ladies living in a separate house. Because it is not safe. They only stay in ladies hostel.

butterfly
10-28-2004, 05:56 PM
coolian wrote,


Single women above the age of 25 are looked down upon, widows are looked down upon, a girl talking to a boy is frowned upon...these are some things that only time can heal. So for now - sadly - I believe it's difficult - but obviously, possible - for a woman to live alone in India (in most regions, anyway) as our society has not yet become flexible enough for that.


I agree with u coolian..u have stated few of the drawbacks in our society not letting women be independent...



Try reading the same this way, How do so many ppl live in this world without being a victim of these crimes...


Rasukutty,
I do understand when compared to the large population its just few who are affected...but it cud also be coz women are carefull & know their limitations ...& stay away frm danger.

Priyanka
10-28-2004, 06:02 PM
Try reading the same this way, How do so many ppl live in this world without being a victim of these crimes...

Just because they are lucky enough.

Canada
12-27-2004, 06:14 PM
India and SriLanka are not some stupid backward countries stuck in the dark ages
:evil: :evil: :evil: :evil: :evil: :evil: :evil: :evil: :evil: :evil: :evil: :evil: :evil: :evil: :evil: :evil: :evil: :evil: :evil: :evil: :evil: :evil: :evil: :evil: :evil: :evil: :evil:


I would't agree on this cuz I've only seen Female Primeministers in these 2 countries only :Ksp: :think:

Priyanka
12-27-2004, 06:28 PM
Just because there are female Prime ministers in these two countries, it does'nt mean that ladies are enjoying equal rights in the society. I read in a magazine. One lady struggled for almost 6 years for becoming a make-up woman. I forgot her name. Take cinema industry for example. It is fully dominated by males. It is the same in every walks of life. Athu thaan nidharsanamaana unmai.

Here is one simple example. How many ladies in India have right to choose wether to go to job or not without husband's permisson. Even for visiting their parents place. They have to get permission from their husband. Ithu thaan inni thedhi varaikkum nadandhundrukku. There may be some exceptions but it is very few. Ippo thaan konjam konjamaa maarindrukku. Innum niraiya maaranum.

Priyanka
12-27-2004, 06:37 PM
PK, Have u ever been to a police station in India??? Ask anyone who has been there.. Indian police are indeed friendly and are extremely helpful.. pls do not make assumptions based on some media coverage..

:00: :00: :00: :00: :00: :00: :00: :00: :00: :00: :00: :00: :00: :00: :00: :00:

Ennathu!! Indian police... friendly-aaa! Helpfulaaaa? Eppadi RK ungalukku ippadi karpanai vellam perukkedutthu oduthu. Eththanai naalaacchu neenga India visit panni? Police ellaam evvalavu friendly-nnu sameepatthula neenga oru example parthiruppeengale! Jayendrar arrest patthi thaan solren.

Aamam, aamaam, Veerappanai pudikkarennu solli graamatthu makkal kitta evvalavu friendly-aa helpful-aa irundhirukkaanga! Ille! Evvalavu pothu nala sevai senjirukkaanga avangalukku?veerappana venumnaalum friendly, helpful appadinnu sollunga. Police-ai mattum appadi sonneenga! Tension aayiduven sollitten.

anainar
12-27-2004, 06:45 PM
Here is one simple example. How many ladies in India have right to choose wether to go to job or not without husband's permisson

Right to choose a job or not is a collective decision once the marriage happens. That is the problem with most women who after marriage complain they lose their freedom. It is not and whether to pursue a career or not is going to be a decision taken together. I know so many friends of mine both in India and US whose wives work, despite having kids. So, it is left to the individual families. Consulting husband and getting a consent from him is in no way oppressive.

When young you consult parents. Some times they agree, some times they dont. But you dont complain about loss of freedom then. How is it different with husband?

Visiting parents is no big deal. But it does cost both monetarily and physically. How many women consider the money aspect before making a trip to their parents house? Again these are all left to individuals and putting a collective tag is not right.

Cheers

Priyanka
12-27-2004, 06:59 PM
Parents mattum enna vidhi vilakkaa? Avangalum MCPs thaan. Eththanai parents kalyaanatthukku munnadi than ponnoda sammathatthai kekkaraanga. "Ippo ellaam appadi illai, maaridicchu"nu neenga nicchaiyam vaathaada mudiyaathu. Yenna yetthanaiyo pengal kalyaanatthukku munnaadi veettai vittu odi poyidaraangale! Yen? Yenna "indha kalyanatthula enakku ishtam illai, naan vera paiyanai virumbaren"nu veettula solla mudiyaathu. Ithai oru paiyan sonna yetthuppaanga aana ponnu sonnaa yetthukka maattaanga.

Shy
01-04-2005, 01:50 AM
eppo thaan parthaen!!

mm.. thats a tough question... career wise yes, they are in par with the guys.. but personally a woman cannot live alone in this world. My opinion, I feel shes more emotional creature and that being alone for her is hell.

A guy can be alone and can take chances, but for a woman thats not possible. In many parts of the world there are single mom's, someone she can take care of, not neccasarily a husband or lover. But thaniyaa irukara lady paarkarthu romba kashtam, its just not her nature. But thaniya naraiya guys parkalaam.

When you come to India or Sri Lanka, a big No, because as someone pointed before, too many ill thinking persons out there-both men and women. Even if she tries to live alone, they talk ill about her, nambalai mathiri oru girl thaanae, ennamoo shes alonenu vida mataanga, annaiku oor vambhu avalai pathi thaan irukkum, which is ridiculous. These countries have a long way to go.

Shy

prasan8181
01-04-2005, 01:58 AM
I read this somewhere: To everyone who talks about women's rights, just produce 10 madam Curies' and there will no longer be a need to talk about women's rights.

But the topic here is not women's rights ofcourse. And my answer to the subject question would be: "Ofcourse, a girl can. But is there a need for it? Girls are created for boys and vice versa, ain't it so?" ;)

prasan8181
01-04-2005, 02:00 AM
Oops what is that? Who put that "newbie" sign under my name. I bet my head I did not do it.

jaggy4u
01-04-2005, 02:11 AM
ennaya debate ithellam...innum salaman pappaya matter odikkittu irukku....this is 2005 maa...inthaa madiri waste topic ellam vittuttu 2005 la girls boys aa succeed aagarathukku enna pannalamnnu yosingho... :lol:

Shy
01-04-2005, 02:33 AM
ennaya debate ithellam...innum salaman pappaya matter odikkittu irukku....this is 2005 maa...inthaa madiri waste topic ellam vittuttu 2005 la girls boys aa succeed aagarathukku enna pannalamnnu yosingho... :lol:

romba thaan, olunga school public examla girls mathiri supera mark yaeduka try panunga, appuram yaar yaarai succeed panalaamnu pesalaam :evil: :evil: :evil:

yaethoo chinna pasanga manasu udainchu poida kudaathaenu vita, girls boysaa succeed aagarathuku naanga think pananumma .. mm..

Shy

jaggy4u
01-04-2005, 03:14 AM
school public exam la mark eduthu enna panrathu...engha edukkanumo angha eduppom marks aa naangho... :b: u r quoting olden days example of public exams and all... :lol:

Shy
01-04-2005, 05:51 PM
school public exam la mark eduthu enna panrathu...engha edukkanumo angha eduppom marks aa naangho... :b: u r quoting olden days example of public exams and all... :lol:

athu engae???? schoolaiyae padika mudiyalai.. athuvae mudiyalaina..vera yaenga neenga yaedupeengalaam..

Shy

anainar
01-04-2005, 06:56 PM
I agree that the situation is not that conducive for womenfolk to make their own lives in India. May be more so in small towns in villages. But the situation is not that grim as it is painted. There are umpteen organisations to take care of women, if they are in distress. It is just that they are not aware or are scared of using them.

But I have failed to find reason for womenfolk being not present in technology field. It really baffles me. Despite more women passing out of school against men. And more women scoring better marks than men in school. I just dont get it.

Cheers

Priyanka
01-04-2005, 07:14 PM
But I have failed to find reason for womenfolk being not present in technology field. It really baffles me. Despite more women passing out of school against men. And more women scoring better marks than men in school. I just dont get it.

All because of these parents. :evil: Ponnu degree padicchu mudicchavudane evan thalaiyilaiyaavathu kattidanumgarathu thaan avangaloda ore kurikkola irukku. Ennoda husband's cousin-ku kooda appadi thaan aacchu. She is an engineering graduate and a very bright student. Post graduation pandrennu evvalavu kenjiyum avaloda appa amma kalyaanam panni vacchuttaanga. Podhadha koraikki avanga in-laws veettula velaikkum poha koodathunnuttanga. So she is simply sitting at home.

Shy
01-04-2005, 07:30 PM
But I have failed to find reason for womenfolk being not present in technology field. It really baffles me. Despite more women passing out of school against men. And more women scoring better marks than men in school. I just dont get it.

All because of these parents. :evil: Ponnu degree padicchu mudicchavudane evan thalaiyilaiyaavathu kattidanumgarathu thaan avangaloda ore kurikkola irukku. Ennoda husband's cousin-ku kooda appadi thaan aacchu. She is an engineering graduate and a very bright student. Post graduation pandrennu evvalavu kenjiyum avaloda appa amma kalyaanam panni vacchuttaanga. Podhadha koraikki avanga in-laws veettula velaikkum poha koodathunnuttanga. So she is simply sitting at home.

I can partially agree to the parents not allowing in some places PK, but the in-law side, i wont agree, no one would have forced her to marry someone.. appadi irukarchae... if she know that they wont allow her to go to work and if shes too keen on that, they she very well would have ignored that alliance. meesaikkum aasai kulukkum aasainu iruka mudiyaathae :D.. u got to compromise on something in life.

Shy

jaggy4u
01-05-2005, 12:26 AM
oh ivangha Teacher illaya mark pathy athaan solrangha maranthutten :)

amal_japan
03-26-2005, 07:44 AM
Hello friends,

My doubt is wether in India, a lady can live alone without gents support. I am not talking about some developed countries, where it is much safer for a lady to be alone. I mean from her childhood to her end!



"உன்னால் முடியும் தம்பி" என்றார்கள் . நான் "உன்னால் முடியும் தங்கச்சி" என்கிறேன். ஆதரவற்ற குடும்பத்த ை தனியொருத்த ியாகத் தூக்கி நிறுத்திய அன்னையர்கள ின் கதைகளைக் கேட்டிருக் கிறோமல்லவா ? எமது சமூகத்தில் ஒருபகுதி தனித்து வாழும் பெண்களைப் பரிதாபக் கண்களோடே பார்க்கிறத ு. இது தனித்து வாழும் அல்லது தனித்து வழவிரும்பு ம் பெண்களின் தன்னம்பிக் கையைப் பாதிக்கிறத ு. ஆடு நனைவதாக ஒநாய்கள் ஓலமிடவேண்ட ிய அவசியமேதும ில்லை. இந்த முதலைக் கண்ணீர் நிறுதப்படவ ேண்டும்.

ஆனால் "மனிதன் ஒரு சமூகப் பிராணி" என்பார்கள் . இந்தத் தலைப்பை ஆழமாக ஆராய்வோமாய ின் ஒரு ஆணின் துணையின்றி பெண்ணால் மட்டுமல்ல பெண்ணின் துணையின்றி ஆணாலும் வாழ முடியாதென் பது புலனாகுமென நினைக்கிறே ன். பலமான காரணங்கள் இருந்தாலொழ ிய அப்படித் தனித்து வாழவேண்டிய அவசியங்கள் இருப்பதாக எனக்குப் புலப்படவில ்லை. இந்தியா, இலங்கையில் மட்டுமென்ன ? அப்படியானவ ர்கள் இங்கும் அதிகமில்லை . ஆனால் ஆரோக்கியமா ன சமூகத்தின் உருவாக்கத் திற்கு சமத்துவம் இன்றியமையா த அம்சமாகிறத ு. "ஆணும் பெண்ணும் மண்ணில் வந்து பிறந்தது எதற்கு...சேர ்ந்திருக்க த் தானே...தெரிந ்துகொள்ளு மானே... " பாடல் வரிகள் நினைவிற்கு வருகிறது.

raghu
03-28-2005, 10:44 PM
for a women to stay alone in India............mmmmmmmmmyes ofcourse its possible.but she needs to have lot of inner strength to overcome all the hurdles of our society.

valluvan
03-28-2005, 11:37 PM
இந்த கேள்வி பெண், ஆண் இருவருக்கு மே பொருந்தும் .

பாதுகாப்பு என்ற வகையில் பார்த்தால் , பெண் தனித்து வாழ்வது என்பது ஒன்றும் பெரிய விசயமே இல்லை.காலம முழுதும் தனித்து வாழலாம். எந்த நாட்டிலும் நல்ல பாதுகாப்பு உள்ளது.

வீம்பிற்கா கவும் தனித்து வாழலாம். அது அந்த பெண்ணை பொருத்தது.

From supporting point of view, though she can sustain during her younger ages, it will be difficult in her older age. In the older ages, either woman or man 100% need support from thier other half and more importantly from thier children which can be possible if she marries a man.

So it would be more appropriate if the question would have been put like this "Whether a woman can live alone without the support of her family"

முடிவில் ஆணின் துணையின்றி பெண் தனித்து வாழலாம்.....ஆ ால் அவள் வாழ்க்கை முழுமை அடையாது என்பது என் கருத்து.