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coolian
03-06-2006, 04:34 AM
Single folks: Would you ever consider marrying outside your race/group/subgroup/whatever?

Married folks: Would you ever consider allowing your (future) kids to marry outside your race/group/subgroup/whatever?

A serious question, fellas, and I'd appreciate it if we all could be practical, not idealistic.

Me? Call me old-fashioned, call me a traditionalist, call me racist, call me whatever - I would not consider it.

We have the most beautiful girls anyway. :ahha:

coolian
03-06-2006, 04:37 AM
Turns out there was a dicussion on this already (http://www.geetham.net/forums/htopic,8791,interracial.html).

Bleh.

But I'm curious, in any case.

tinker
03-06-2006, 04:38 AM
I think this was already discussed ....

PS: you beat me to it ...

dinesh
03-06-2006, 07:04 AM
Hey....why not...a girl is a girl at the end of the day.....


We have the most beautiful girls anyway.
Hmmm...you sure about this? :think:

coolian
03-06-2006, 07:10 AM
100%

"Beautiful" != "Hot"

:sm10:

san2003
03-06-2006, 08:37 AM
intha topic pakampothu.. i thought. didnt we discuss b4???
can i vote... or only men.. why only talkin about girls :snooty: :snooty:

Shy
03-06-2006, 03:04 PM
I have voted -Why not..

Appurama vanthu pesuren...in detail...

Shy

coolian
03-06-2006, 04:25 PM
I have voted -Why not..
Oh, really...

I know what everyone's gonna say:

1. We're all humans - 99.7% of our genes are the same!
2. Do not discriminate based on skin color
3. Love is not white/brown/black/yellow - it's red. For everyone.
4. Blah. Blah, blah, blah, blah.

Sure. We're all perfect. If only the world were like that. I'm just wondering why people, if they're supposedly so liberal-minded - especially Indians - make such a big fuss if they see an Indian girl with a white guy or an Indian dude with some Portu-ermm.. - you get it.

So realistically speaking, you would not mind one bit if your son/daughter walks in with someone from a totally different cultural background?

vasan
03-06-2006, 04:48 PM
Sure, why not?

I have friends - guys married to non-indians, and girls married to non-indians... I have indian friends who are married across languages and across religions.

Oh.. one more thing - I also know quite a few - married within their sub-sub-sub-sub-sub.. add as many as you want - and arranged and consulted all the astrological ballyhoo, social equivalency, educational, height, color, 'whiteness of teeth' whatever compatibility too. And sadly atleast a few that recently ended up in divorces.

Why not, is totally valid.

If I marry a tamil girl, it won't be because she can speak tamil - but because she can appreciate tamil literature. Reading and enjoying tamil lit is a huge part of me - and would be nice to find some one who would share the same enthu. So, if Gisele can read and more importantly would love to read and enjoy tamil lit, sure, why the heck not? :ahha:


We have the most beautiful girls anyway.

If you say so... Just don't say it in the morning though - I can't stop laughing for the whole day.. :sm12: :sm12:

Girls everywhere are pretty. No one holds monopoly over them. Not you. Not them.

v-

vijitha
03-06-2006, 04:53 PM
i have no problem.. with ppl.. marrying into other culture, race, what eva it is..

BUT I don't think I WILL get married to someone who doesn't have the same family background as me...

but then i might change my mind in the future.. maybe not

coolian
03-06-2006, 07:31 PM
I don't care about other people. This one's more on you and your immediate family / kids etc.

Things might not be as easy, especially if you're from a conservative family. You'll have to convince your parents/family on why you made the right choice etc etc. Although you could say that love is between 2 individuals, not families, you've got to admit that families have got to be involved somehow.

I see that it's 3-2 so far. Hm! So apparently we've got more liberal-minded folks in here...


Girls everywhere are pretty. No one holds monopoly over them. Not you. Not them.
I've monopoly over my views. I could be plain-looking to some, decent-looking to some; everyone's entitled to their own views. So whether or not someone is pretty depends on what I define as pretty. Not you. Not them. :P

Bluelotus
03-06-2006, 07:40 PM
I was thinking SL mixed wityh japs or Korean ...might yield very very cute offsprings :ee:

Ideally it's wonderful etc...

but practically like interecultural and inter-religious marriage it's way too much work...

blue.

PS: I disagree...we don't have monopoly on cute guys or girls :ahha: If you think so you may have not seen enough of this world perhaps :ahha:

coolian
03-06-2006, 07:46 PM
Having lived in a bunch of countries around the world and up and down the states, I've seen enough to realize that, trust me. :P

And I'm thankful I feel that way.

PS-1: Please note that I said "we have the most beautiful girls in the world" not "we have the maximum number of beautiful girls in proportion to the entire population of a certain country". 95% of all Portuguese girls could be beautiful as compared to 35% of all Indian girls. That's not my point.

vasan
03-06-2006, 07:48 PM
I've monopoly over my views.

Sure thing. By saying 'we have most pretty girls', your definition of pretty-things seems to be what(ever) we have.. Which is ok - since, you are totally entitled to your opinion.. :P :P

I just prefer to term for such views is shortsighted, narrow minded, biased... :sm12: :sm12:

Define (excluding what race a person belongs to) what is 'being pretty'. Search the girls - have some statistics. Show me the data that makes you believe that statement is true. Will buy it.. until then, it would only be a opinion.. :ee: (NOTE: your opinion on what is pretty still counts, but the 'claim' that we have most girls is flat out unacceptable, unless your criteria includes race, and/or have statistically valid data!).

~~~~~


I don't care about other people.

My reason for quoting others is

I'm just wondering why people, if they're supposedly so liberal-minded - especially Indians - make such a big fuss if they see an Indian girl with a white guy or an Indian dude with some Portu-ermm.. - you get it.

I am saying, I have no hangups when I see interracial couples.

What would I do? wouldn't care too much about race. Mom and dad crib about zillion things - even when the girls are their choice (with all the sub-sub-sub-sub-... infinitum) included.. There is only so much I can take. Heck, there is no guarantee that my aththai ponnu is ok with mom.... :sm12: :sm12: :sm12:

I believe in close knit family and respecting/honoring parents. And also in being a grown up, and making intelligent choices - that at times might not agree with mom's choice. I am their son, as much as my own man.

v-

vasan
03-06-2006, 07:51 PM
PS-1: Please note that I said "we have the most beautiful girls in the world" not "we have the maximum number of beautiful girls in proportion to the entire population of a certain country". 95% of all Portuguese girls could be beautiful as compared to 35% of all Indian girls. That's not my point.

rr.. all the statements make it too complicated. Can we put down some numbers and discuss? Say a sample of N girls, out of a complete sample space of M in a country i, have p- pretty girls.... some thing like that.. :wink: :P

And yeah, the cools-beauty-criteria as well.. :P :P

v-

Bluelotus
03-06-2006, 07:53 PM
PS:

:think: I don't know, I mean they're gorgeous sure...but compared to statuesque Scandinavians, and queen like east-African women...Indian women aren't all that special :think:

coolian
03-06-2006, 07:58 PM
V, you're getting confused for no reason.

"We have the most beautiful girls anyway." A quote that you have, for no reason whatsoever, morphed into a "claim". I've said this numerous times in other threads, but I'll say it again for your sake. "Beauty" is a relative term. What is beautiful for me could be plain for someone else. What is beautiful to me now might not be so 5 years from now. And by "most" you seem to think that I am attaching a number to what I said, in which case you are completely mistaken. Read most as "most beautiful", not "most" with regard to some number. Let me reiterate for your sake. Nowhere did I say "We have the most girls who are beautiful". I said "We have the most beautiful girls anyway".

So I would suggest that you re-read my post if you've not understood what I wrote. :P

vasan
03-06-2006, 08:00 PM
Indian women aren't all that special

There are special. To us. (All the school day pledge: All the indians are my brothers and sisters.. :P :P There are more than special. :b:)

And yeah.. they are as pretty as any one else. Scandinavian or Ethiopian. :D

v-

coolian
03-06-2006, 08:02 PM
What would I do? wouldn't care too much about race. Mom and dad crib about zillion things - even when the girls are their choice (with all the sub-sub-sub-sub-... infinitum) included.. There is only so much I can take. Heck, there is no guarantee that my aththai ponnu is ok with mom.... :sm12: :sm12: :sm12:

I believe in close knit family and respecting/honoring parents. And also in being a grown up, and making intelligent choices - that at times might not agree with mom's choice. I am their son, as much as my own man.

Ok, this was what I was kinda looking for.

Bluelotus
03-06-2006, 08:04 PM
:sm12:

anyway going back to inter-racial marriages...why is it that you're not favourinmg them, cooli?

coolian
03-06-2006, 08:20 PM
Just in case there are doubters amongst you - if !Xobile and Thirupurasundari get hitched, I couldn't care less and would wish them the best.

But for me personally, I would care a bit more than less. Why? That's because while I'm pretty liberal and open-minded in some areas, I am conservative in others. Religion, for example. This is very important to me, and it had better be important to my wife too. Drinking. I don't drink and I would feel very uncomfortable if my future wife were to come from a family background that worships alcohol. Tamil. There are some times when I just feel comfortable speaking in Tamil, and if I'm not able to do that with the one I'm gonna spend the rest of my life and in the process, have to resort to calling up an Indian friend just to hear the oh-so-lovely "Poda dei!" and "ennada panre?!" phrases, life wouldn't be all that rosy, would it?

And etc.

lasik
03-06-2006, 08:24 PM
hmm....inter-racial marriage :think: for my kids, i donno what wud be my thinking during that time. as for now, i'm not comfortible with inter-racial marriage. now, i think am not that much matured or broad minded to accept this.

for unmarried ppl, i dont mind, so i've voted for why not?


lasik

coolian
03-06-2006, 08:28 PM
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAARGH, then you should vote for "Definitely not!"

Because this thread is not about what you think other people should do! It's about what you would do if you are single or what you would want your (future) kids to do if you are married!!!

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARGH, banging my head...

lasik
03-06-2006, 08:33 PM
ithuku ethukku banging ur head no no.... :nono: :nono:

its simple
reduce 1 count from why not and add it to defenitely not :ahha:

coolian
03-06-2006, 08:35 PM
http://img103.imageshack.us/img103/1029/rockon8wj.gif

Shy
03-06-2006, 08:55 PM
Cooli,


Me? Call me old-fashioned, call me a traditionalist, call me racist, call me whatever - I would not consider it.

We have the most beautiful girls anyway

Ithula nee race pathi solriyaa... illai avanga avanga caste, sub caste pathi solriyaa?

sweetlotus, vasan ellarum race level'la pesuraanga.. avaloo vendaam, I will ask you this only. So oru brahmana innoru brahmanavai thaan marry paninakum, chettiar - chettiar, gounder - gounder. Ithai thaan nee consider panratha solra. I am just asking you again to confirm, so that we can proceed from there on.

Yenna, Race pathi pesurathukku munna, intha caste, religion ellam thaandanum.. Ithai ellam think panaama, interracial marriage pathi pesina, nee solra mathiri aiyoonu thaan thonumm.. so basic levella irunthu pogalaam.

(1) intha genes same'a irukarthu, love red color, blah blah blah.... ithu illai matter. practically thinking. naal nachathiram paarthu, arranged marriage isnt a bed of roses always. Same thing, love pani marriage panikaravaavum doesnt always lead a successful marriage. Appo athukku enna artham. intha caste, religion or race yetha help panratha enna, illaiye... Goodbye'na goodbyenu poitae iruka right??? ithu enna solrathu... whereever you are from, whatever your background is.. oru basic chemistry venum for things to work out. Athu intha 3 things tharaathu. thats the practical thinking you should get.

(2) why should one feel odd when someone loves someone from another community. ennoda uyir nanban, i will give my life for him, appadi ellam dialogue adikara personkku matum intha community fence illai.. love panrathukku matum yen???

innum naraiya irukku.. first ithukku reply pannu nee..

Shy

vasan
03-06-2006, 08:59 PM
innum naraiya irukku.. first ithukku reply pannu nee..

Shy

Dicussion-aa illai Cools-kooda sandai poda vanththu irukkeengala? :Ksp: Poor guy, just was curious to know whats everyones opinion and views on this..

vittaa prosecute panni ullaa thalliduveenga pola irukke.. :Ksp: :Ksp: vambaa illa irukku.. :Ksp: :oops: :P

v-

Shy
03-06-2006, 09:00 PM
Just in case there are doubters amongst you - if !Xobile and Thirupurasundari get hitched, I couldn't care less and would wish them the best.

But for me personally, I would care a bit more than less. Why? That's because while I'm pretty liberal and open-minded in some areas, I am conservative in others. Religion, for example. This is very important to me, and it had better be important to my wife too. Drinking. I don't drink and I would feel very uncomfortable if my future wife were to come from a family background that worships alcohol. Tamil. There are some times when I just feel comfortable speaking in Tamil, and if I'm not able to do that with the one I'm gonna spend the rest of my life and in the process, have to resort to calling up an Indian friend just to hear the oh-so-lovely "Poda dei!" and "ennada panre?!" phrases, life wouldn't be all that rosy, would it?

And etc.

ippo nee intha differences vitutu unnoda preferenceskku pora...

vasan keta mathiri.. unnoda innum involveda... oru ponnu, religionla you meet.. but enna ava namba caste illai.. vera yetho caste.. appo enna panuve.. she has all qualifications.. oru checklist potena.. ellathulaiyum double check thaan ava.. inluding you definition of pretty and beautiful vachukoo??? appo? nono, even though shes a great match for me, intha caste matum different so wont marry her solviyaa??? nee thaan open minded ellam aachae.. all you need is a person whose in par with you right?? appuram enna?

Shy

Idiot
03-06-2006, 09:02 PM
very interestingggggggggggggggg

waiting for cools reply

pathikichuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu :dance: :dance: :dance: :dance: :dance: :dance: :clap: :clap:

Shy
03-06-2006, 09:12 PM
innum naraiya irukku.. first ithukku reply pannu nee..

Shy

Dicussion-aa illai Cools-kooda sandai poda vanththu irukkeengala? :Ksp: Poor guy, just was curious to know whats everyones opinion and views on this..

vittaa prosecute panni ullaa thalliduveenga pola irukke.. :Ksp: :Ksp: vambaa illa irukku.. :Ksp: :oops: :P

v-

avanai vambhukku ilutha oru jolly thaan athaan ;)

Shy

Bluelotus
03-06-2006, 09:25 PM
Just in case there are doubters amongst you - if !Xobile and Thirupurasundari get hitched, I couldn't care less and would wish them the best.

But for me personally, I would care a bit more than less. Why? That's because while I'm pretty liberal and open-minded in some areas, I am conservative in others. Religion, for example. This is very important to me, and it had better be important to my wife too. Drinking. I don't drink and I would feel very uncomfortable if my future wife were to come from a family background that worships alcohol. Tamil. There are some times when I just feel comfortable speaking in Tamil, and if I'm not able to do that with the one I'm gonna spend the rest of my life and in the process, have to resort to calling up an Indian friend just to hear the oh-so-lovely "Poda dei!" and "ennada panre?!" phrases, life wouldn't be all that rosy, would it?

And etc.

:think: either you're confused or I am :think:

where's race in all this?

if (I do say "if") race is about the various physical characteristics,

Anyway I think you're just anti any inter marriages :ee: not just pertaining to race, but anti religion, anti language, anti caste , anti thingamgic etc :ee:

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Although I did say that ideally it should be possible. I do think that it's terrible on the children. They have a mixed heritage, which they don't undertand or get terribly confused about.
I think it's great for the parents but really crap for the kids.
I know SL Tamils married to SL Singahalese, and their kids neither acknowledge the religion nor the language nor the heritage of their Tamil parent :Ksp: These aren't even inter-racial marriages.
I assume that in inter-racial marriages, instead of embrassing both sets of heritages, one will be dismissed nonchalently by offsprings of these marriages.

shy akka,

it's all very well falling in love, but you're forgetting that living with the person that you fall in love with isn't as rosy as you think it is, if they are so very differnt from you. Especially in inter-anything marriages, you wouldn't have the support of your family to weather all those pitfalls which arise in marriages normally...

These days even personality clashes can lead to separation, can you imagine what problems inter-anything couples woudl face?

Let me ask you this akka:
you're a very straight-laced person with very old-fashioned conservative values (except when it comes down to the L word :ahha: )
if you had fallen in love with a Ugandan man.... would you have married him?
tell me with your hand on your heart
:D please.


blue.

suha
03-06-2006, 09:25 PM
:sm12: :sm12:

me outta of this world :oops:

shy akka :sm12: nalla kelunggo :yes:

acho choo cools paavam paiyaan :ahha:

tenseup annal enna kupidu kadalai mittai kondu varrein :ee:

================

coolian
03-06-2006, 09:31 PM
Ithula nee race pathi solriyaa... illai avanga avanga caste, sub caste pathi solriyaa?
Oh god, why is everyone harping on that one quote, facetious more than anything else?!

In any case, does it matter what I think? Like I said a zillion times, this thread is not about me. I don't understand why it's so important to you guys on what I think about women's beauty, or why I think I should marry A, and not B. That is a matter of personal preference, and I would definitely not question what you think is right for yourselves. Don't like white guys? Cool, be my guest. Prefer only black guys? No problemo!

Get my drift? If you are completely at ease with your child walking through that door with a white guy's arm around her, kudos to you! But I would not be comfortable if my kid did the same - times may change, who knows, but the coolian of today will not be comfy, for some of the reasons I stated above and below.

One needn't feel odd for loving someone from a different community! I'm looking at it from a wider perspective, involving more than 2 individuals. How would I integrate into her family? Would my family "accept" her as one of them? What about my kids? Would they grow up confused about their identity?


vasan keta mathiri.. unnoda innum involveda... oru ponnu, religionla you meet.. but enna ava namba caste illai.. vera yetho caste.. appo enna panuve.. she has all qualifications.. oru checklist potena.. ellathulaiyum double check thaan ava.. inluding you definition of pretty and beautiful vachukoo??? appo? nono, even though shes a great match for me, intha caste matum different so wont marry her solviyaa???
I have my set of guidelines. And my future woman has to be compatible with me in every single aspect. And I sure hope I am compatible with her in every way she wants me to be. Sure, I'll be flexible about a few things and I should be. But ultimately, it all boils down to whether I will be comfortable leading my life with someone I think is perfect for me.


nee thaan open minded ellam aachae.. all you need is a person whose in par with you right?? appuram enna?

That's because while I'm pretty liberal and open-minded in some areas, I am conservative in others.

coolian
03-06-2006, 09:41 PM
if (I do say "if") race is about the various physical characteristics,

Anyway I think you're just anti any inter marriages :ee: not just pertaining to race, but anti religion, anti language, anti caste , anti thingamgic etc :ee:


It doesn't matter what you think I think. And I'm definitely not anti-any-inter-marriage. I'm always there for my friends who are in an interracial relationship and will support them in any way should the need arise.

And each race/group/subgroup typically has a cultural base. Maybe I should have been more elaborate, but I'm not referring to physical characteristics only. In the broadest sense, I was talking about relationships with people who are not of the same "family background" as you are, as Viji so aptly put it.

Shy
03-06-2006, 09:54 PM
shy akka,
it's all very well falling in love, but you're forgetting that living with the person that you fall in love with isn't as rosy as you think it is, if they are so very differnt from you. Especially in inter-anything marriages, you wouldn't have the support of your family to weather all those pitfalls which arise in marriages normally...


Correct ma, athaan both arranged and love marriage soli iruken.. either way its abt these 2 people thaan in the end, appo, why bring this caste, religion and race.. irukarthula ithu veraiyanu right???

Eppadi sweetlotus.. if there are completely way apart..parents enna pana mudiyum.. last week, inge oru social gatheringla I met a couple. 2003 I had been to their marriage here. Arranged marriage(it happened here because hes a GC holder and she H1.. visa issue kaaga) 2004 they were the ideal pair one can imagine. intha functionkku rendu perum came separate.. as usual vishaiyam theriyaama naan vijarika, she told me, it didnt work out. parents evaloo soliyum nothing happened. the kid is having a life of spending 4 days with mom and 3 days with dad. parents from rendu sidela enna seiraanga.. I am not blaming them, but I am saying its not in their hands anymore. May be, arranged marriage has the edge where they can go and report initially, but after that its all fate.. Love marriage you will hear the usual "naan-appove-sonen-ketiyaa" but athukunu will they leave you, no they will try to help you out.. but thats all they can do. Yenna, marriagekku appuram its only these two people..


Let me ask you this akka:
you're a very straight-laced person with very old-fashioned conservative values (except when it comes down to the L word )
if you had fallen in love with a Ugandan man.... would you have married him?
tell me with your hand on your heart
please.

before America varathukku munna, interracial yen, intercaste, interreligion'ae romba kashtam enakku. but i can see the changes in me, Evn though mine is love marriage in the same religion and caste, I can understand if it crosses the boundary and yes I can accept it. But interracial, innum athu alavukku naan mature aagalai. So oru perfect uganda guy irunthaalum, would i accept... i may not now.. dont know abt the future.. eppadi appothaikkum ippothaikku change aagi irukenoo, I might too or i might not at all.. i dont know :) So answer for right now is NO.

Athaan coolian kita.. race vitutu ;) religion, caste alavulaiye pesindu iruken ;)

Shy

coolian
03-06-2006, 09:59 PM
But interracial, innum athu alavukku naan mature aagalai. So oru perfect uganda guy irunthaalum, would i accept... i may not now.. dont know abt the future.. eppadi appothaikkum ippothaikku change aagi irukenoo, I might too or i might not at all.. i dont know Very Happy So answer for right now is NO.
EXACTLY MY POINT.

dinesh
03-06-2006, 10:00 PM
We have the most beautiful girls anyway.
BTW cools.....wanted to ask you thi.....define "we" here please?

coolian
03-06-2006, 10:00 PM
Oops, sounds like I'm shouting. I'll say that again: "Exactly my point."

:ee:

coolian
03-06-2006, 10:01 PM
No, I will not define "we". Why? Because it should not matter to you what I think!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Goddamn, fellas!!!!!!

Idiot
03-06-2006, 10:02 PM
Single folks: Would you ever consider marrying outside your race/group/subgroup/whatever?


no :nono: :nono: :nono: :nono: :nono: :nono: :nono: not at all

coolian
03-06-2006, 10:02 PM
Finally! Thank you, muttai.

dinesh
03-06-2006, 10:05 PM
No, I will not define "we". Why? Because it should not matter to you what I think!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Goddamn, fellas!!!!!!
hmmm......you claim your group have the most beautiful girls.......why reluctant to tell me which group this? surely you are not afraid you will run out of eligible bachelorettes, because of outsiders like me :ahha:

Idiot
03-06-2006, 10:05 PM
y finally...... :think: :think: :think:

coolian
03-06-2006, 10:10 PM
Dinesh. Wow, seriously, wow.

I don't know how many times I have to tell you - and everyone else - this, but I don't care what/who you think is beautiful and I don't see any reason why you should. It's not a matter of me being "reluctant" - I simply do not see the point in discussing my personal preferences with you.

So I'd appreciate it if you, being a mod, could be on topic and not branch the discussion towards who I think is beautiful.

lasik
03-06-2006, 10:16 PM
on behalf of cools......

http://img103.imageshack.us/img103/1029/rockon8wj.gifhttp://img103.imageshack.us/img103/1029/rockon8wj.gifhttp://img103.imageshack.us/img103/1029/rockon8wj.gif



lasik

Shy
03-06-2006, 10:18 PM
Enna finally! thank you muttai.. :evil: :evil: :evil:

veetukku kelambaren.. vanthu pesuren...

No that wasnt your point.. nee already shut down panite... appuram enna exactly my point.. :evil:

Shy

Idiot
03-06-2006, 10:20 PM
Enna finally! thank you muttai.. :evil: :evil: :evil:

Shy

enna achu shy.. inthe evil yarukku enakkaaaaaaaa coolsukaaaaaaaaaa :Ksp: :Ksp: :Ksp:

ayyyayyoooooooooooooo :think: :think: :ee:

Minnie
03-06-2006, 10:25 PM
How did i miss such interesting topic today :think: ,will go home and read it then will reply :ee:
CC nalla mattikitaya.... :ahha:

dinesh
03-06-2006, 10:27 PM
Dinesh. Wow, seriously, wow.

I don't know how many times I have to tell you - and everyone else - this, but I don't care what/who you think is beautiful and I don't see any reason why you should. It's not a matter of me being "reluctant" - I simply do not see the point in discussing my personal preferences with you.

So I'd appreciate it if you, being a mod, could be on topic and not branch the discussion towards who I think is beautiful.
As far as I see it, I am sticking to the topic. One of the reasons you gave in the beginning about why you will not go into an inter-racial marriage is that because you believe a group of girls are pretty. Think about it, if you fancy another group of girls more, then you would be for interracial marriages.

Anyhow, the point behind my question is by "we" you meant a) your caste b) your race c) girls from your state d) girls from your country etc, ie, what exactly is an inter-racial marriage in your view. So calm down, for goodness sake, this is just a discussion.

Idiot
03-06-2006, 10:28 PM
ungalukku ithae ellam pakka enga irukku

kamal, surya, arya.. ivan peru patha odanae vanthu oru post podureengaaa

cools kashta pattu portugal poi fig. pathu feel panni oru topic pottaaa varae mateenga..

cools ippo vanthu enna kolla poraru.. athukku munnadi naan escape aguraen

coolian
03-06-2006, 10:42 PM
One of the reasons you gave in the beginning about why you will not go into an inter-racial marriage is that because you believe a group of girls are pretty. Think about it, if you fancy another group of girls more, then you would be for interracial marriages.
That was a tongue-in-cheek comment. Not a reason to choose one girl over another. I am not so thick as to choose someone based on physical characteristics.


Anyhow, the point behind my question is by "we" you meant a) your caste b) your race c) girls from your state d) girls from your country etc, ie, what exactly is an inter-racial marriage in your view.
"...ever consider marrying outside your race/group/subgroup/whatever? " Notice "whatever". Everyone has their own definition of what they believe is "out" of their family structure. That is precisely why I put "whatever" in there.

And like I said numerous times, it shouldn't matter to you what I think. What matters is what you define as "interracial" and if you're up for a relationship with that definition in mind. My definition of the term should not affect your decision in marrying someone, so why do you care?


So calm down, for goodness sake, this is just a discussion.
I am calm. But it does get slightly irritating if everyone keeps repeating the same question.

suha
03-06-2006, 10:50 PM
cools seems u got tensedup....i guess u need kadalai mitai..now :Ksp:

chumma vambu pannein :D

vasan
03-06-2006, 11:23 PM
Everyone has their own definition of what they believe is "out" of their family structure. That is precisely why I put "whatever" in there.


Alright Cools... I agree, I am not open minded either. My 'in' thing is all female homosapiens and my 'out' is all male homosapiens and the rest of the bio-kingdom. All the women of the world are in my race, for purposes of this discussion.... And all guys are out of it for good, just to reiterate. And I won't marry outside my race. Others can do what they like. :b:

Okvaa? :P :P

v-

coolian
03-06-2006, 11:29 PM
Absolutely.

Minnie
03-07-2006, 01:23 AM
CC,for the first time..guess like my views are somewhat similar to you.

Definitely a big NO...within same circle's kula marry pannave 1001 problems,in this outside...i cant think how my life will be....
For my kids,well times changes so do my thoughts and maybe i may/maynot go with my kids wish...lets see that later...

Well..in case if i see a person with all double checks still i got to think..
see i can change certain things for that double checks,but not everything....

I know a couple,wife is mallu and hubby is telugu...note its pakka arranged marriage..yeah they are living happily,got a kid also..but poor thing is wife doesnt know the telugu and other festivals related to AP,so does the guy also...in house they speak hindi..and the kid was/is sort of confused...they go well with everything except for understanding each other cos both their views/everything family/family member wise are different..net result --- she lives here in US for 3-4 months and the whole winter in kerala...still they love each other..

coolian
03-07-2006, 02:19 AM
nee already shut down panite...
What?

Shy
03-07-2006, 02:51 AM
naan sonathu race pathi illai.. inside your race, I mean inter-caste and inter-religion pathi...

Shy

coolian
03-07-2006, 03:15 AM
For the last time - the whole purpose of this discussion was to figure out how liberal-minded or conservative this forum is, with regard to this issue. It was not to nitpick certain quotes and in the process, cleverly circumvent the main theme of the discussion.

When you said "NO" (finally!) you had simply answered the poll question with a resounding (?) "Definitely not!" - which was why I was thankful to have gotten a direct answer.

Shy
03-07-2006, 03:35 AM
commitment la whats your opinion? appadi oru general question ketutu.. athula guy-girl, gay, ellam kondu vanthu irukara mathiri irukku...

Inter-racial is a very vast thing.. but athuku munna, inter-caste, religion ellam irukku..
so how can mine be a direct answer?? I said no to inter-racial not to the other 2 right ;)

Shy

ashokcsn_2000
03-07-2006, 03:56 AM
Ok I see that ppl have hung on to the word "we" but rather reading through all the posts I understand that the "we" is the "we" for the person reading the post. It is not just Coolians'...

Inter-communal (I am being more general here) (among most communities) is quite observed or preffered or imposed... Just turns out how "liberal" your / "we's" thoughts are...

Personally, I am not in for inter-whatever marraige for me... I dont mind if someone else wants it though...

again "We have the most beautiful girls" ... :P

vasan
03-07-2006, 03:58 AM
We have the most beautiful girls

I didn't know that WE.. Quite possibly you folks might.. :wink: :P :P :P

All the pretty girls I know are all married.. :Ksp: Or it could be that I am too old.. :sm12: :ahha:

whatever.. sorry about the sidey, Cools. :sm03:

v-

butterfly
03-07-2006, 04:03 AM
Single folks: Would you ever consider marrying outside your race/group/subgroup/whatever?

Married folks: Would you ever consider allowing your (future) kids to marry outside your race/group/subgroup/whatever?

A serious question, fellas, and I'd appreciate it if we all could be practical, not idealistic.

Me? Call me old-fashioned, call me a traditionalist, call me racist, call me whatever - I would not consider it.

We have the most beautiful girls anyway. :ahha:

My Vote Definetly NO.....too tired now to read all the post & argue...will do so later :)

san2003
03-07-2006, 04:39 AM
These days even personality clashes can lead to separation, can you imagine what problems inter-anything couples woudl face?

personality clashes happens in every relationships... not only with ur defacto etc etc... even with family members ... the reason is.. it is not visible or extreme becoz there is blood relation ... i have personality clash with alot of ppl ... meaning frens n everybody
everyone has personality clashes no matter arranged marriage(which i believe is more... seen it MANY times) or love marriage or inter whatever marriage :)


if you had fallen in love with a Ugandan man.... would you have married him?
tell me with your hand on your heart

i know bluey u asked akka.. but if someone asked me.. i would say yes.. if i love him to death.. if i feel he is perfect to my eyes.. i would marry him ... i do not see if he is black or not ... n i will never change my stands

based on everyones discussion ... i see that main focus seems to divert into caste and religion .. and not only about race ... i personally think... ppl who were born in india will have different opinions to ppl who were born in other countries... n till now i dont see any non-indian here (u get wat i mean)

i was born in a country where its multiracial.. we got chinese, indians, the locals, whites n africans(occassionally)... also many many many other races within the nation .... bein surrounded with multi cultures, races, religion ... multi race or religion or watso ever marriage.. is becomin very VERY common (probably not so much 20-30yrs ago) but for the past decade... its normal, common and nothin biggy.... but seeing many indians who originate from india living overseas... their culture is so deep and strong.. it is hard to let it go and say yes to inter-watever marriage

perfect example.. my colleagues... they r strong jains... n guju's... n they cant even once think of gettin their kids married to someone not a jain n guju.. im not sayin it is wrong.. or i do not mean to offence any indian.. but i feel its abit old aged ... come on ... uve been living out of india for so many yrs and ur children r not born in india.. they have grown with foreign culture... its abit too much to ask.. im not saying u have to agree with inter-watever marriage for their kids... even not agreeing with love marriage at all...but be open bout it .. n dont start critizing it ... im not also saying ppl who were born out of india r not cultured at all... i believe i have some indian culture.. i speak tamil(though no writing n reading :ahha:) ... i follow all indian tradition too... and every indian overseas... to some level does... i have a fren here in aus who is so much into being an indian.. loves everythin about indian culture(born in aus for info) .... but is also a plain aussie bloke who loves every kind of girl (i think he has an aussie gf) ... same goes to my ppl in malaysia ... this reminds me of the topic tradition outside somethin

i might sound very harsh.. and im sori.. i dont mean to offend anyone.. but i feel that obviously all indian is gonna vote no ... coz of the way they have been brought up .. i will stick to my stands of sayin YES ... is not now ... but forever... since young i grew up with non-indians.. i have lots of chinese frens, indian frens who were not my religion or race or caste (who were potential partners).... also now being in a western land... i have so many different race, color, etc frens ... so possibility of me hooking up with a non-my race/religion etc ... is higher. .... n my parents r open about it... coz their parents were open about it as well (though my parents were arranged marriage... due to circumstances.. if u wanna know.. they were jus gettin older :ahha:)

i did too much talkin for now ... hope no one conpused .. :ahha: ... ill come back with more.. :)

anainar
03-07-2006, 04:45 AM
Inter racial? Of course yes. Whether one should go look for it? Probably not. But if it happens, let it be. People these days are grown up and can make much more conscious decisions weighing various factors. So, if one feels so, so be it. Whether I will feel so? Was attracted to the likes of Salma Hayak, Angelina Jolie and the likes :sm12: :sm12: :sm12:. But hey, they are all way too hot to handle.

Seriously though, if your intention is to assess the demography or thoughts of the people to categorize them as Conservative or progressive is fraught with danger. Now, being open to inter racial marriage is considered progressive? Not really. But giving the choice of decision making to the concerned persons is progressive. Inter racial marriage is a effect. That does not define progressiveness. The cause of that, giving freedom to choose is progressive.

Cheers

ns80
03-07-2006, 05:10 AM
:Ksp: Too many responses to read. So here's my view:


Single folks: Would you ever consider marrying outside your race/ group/ subgroup/ whatever?

I don't I have become open-minded enough for a inter-racial marraige. I have a lifestyle a girl from a different race won't be compatible with and she might follow a lifestyle I might not be compatible with.

Within a subgroup having similar lifestyles, YES, why not :b: but to someone who has to adjust to a completely new style of living or I have to adapt to her style of living. Defenitely not :p:

So now, where do I vote ? :Ksp: I think this topic has grown a lot broad than what the thread title says :Ksp:.

PS: I know lifestyle is a vague word, my definition is the daily activities, the way you do them, way you dress, what you eat. Pretty much whatever the couple is going to encounter in daily life.

san2003
03-07-2006, 06:27 AM
hmm... jus realized somethin.. i didnt know guys r soooooooo picky.. all the while thinking the gals r the one picky and havin lists of "my perfect man" ... men ... :doh: :doh: :doh:

jute :ahha:

suha
03-07-2006, 06:35 AM
my freind ( one of tamil muslim girl) her brother married to chinese girl.....they r living peacefull life ...with whole family.... she is very nice girl.... haved 2 kids ...but she changed like a tamil muslim girl :ee:

ns80
03-07-2006, 07:25 AM
us realized somethin.. i didnt know guys r soooooooo picky.

would'nt it be better to live with a life partner who can put up with you, rather than marry some X and crib about it ? I am not saying, I want to find a pair who is a 'perfect fit' (i dont even have a clear cut definition for it), but atleast someone who I feel I can adjust, and so would she. That way lesser problems for you and everyone around you. Would that mean 'picky' too ? :Ksp:
~~~~~~~

men ... :doh: :doh: :doh:

do one thing. put that it your signature, so that its easier for you to copy-paste than type it over and over again :sm12: :sm12:

san2003
03-07-2006, 07:45 AM
would'nt it be better to live with a life partner who can put up with you, rather than marry some X and crib about it ? I am not saying, I want to find a pair who is a 'perfect fit' (i dont even have a clear cut definition for it), but atleast someone who I feel I can adjust, and so would she. That way lesser problems for you and everyone around you. Would that mean 'picky' too ? :Ksp:

i was not aiming at u nana... acho.. anyway... im not saying having to find a girl that is 'perfect fit' for u is wrong n there is no harm in doing that... just that the explanation given(generally by all) is so detailed jus surprised me... i alwiz thought that girls were the ones to list down criterias like eyes as such... body as such... this n that ... not only normal stuff but petty stuff
keepin in mind... im not telllin bout u :ahha:
just on wat u said about living with life partner who puts up with u ... wouldnt be the same case in an inter-racial marriage... adjusting to ur partner... tryin to harmonise in every way... :) ... being different religion/race shouldnt be an obstruction then



men ... :doh: :doh: :doh:

do one thing. put that it your signature, so that its easier for you to copy-paste than type it over and over again :sm12: :sm12:

:snooty: :snooty: :nono: :nono:

Bluelotus
03-07-2006, 10:40 AM
if you had fallen in love with a Ugandan man.... would you have married him?
tell me with your hand on your heart

i know bluey u asked akka.. but if someone asked me.. i would say yes.. if i love him to death.. if i feel he is perfect to my eyes.. i would marry him ... i do not see if he is black or not ... n i will never change my stands


Well san dear,

If I did fall in love with a Lovely Ugandan man, I wouldn't see him as black or pink or purple, just the guy I love, and hence he would attain a level of perfection in my eyes regardless of his faults. But to me, family is extremely important. It just happens that mine is exceedingly old-fashioned, regardless of how many years they have been living abroad.
I just don't see myself introducing the lovely Ugandan man to my grandmother as her future-grandson-in-law.
I'm not courageous enough to face my family with anyone other than an SL Tamil. I'd be far too worried of hurting them, I'd rather hurt myself instead.
And lets face it I grew up in a multi-ethnic society too, and I do find other ethnic group physically very attractive...
And when most of my generation are "offsprings of migrants", "cultural differences" are very few among us compared to that betweeen "our parents' generation".



To be absolutely honest, inter-racial marriages are fine as long as they do not take place within the circles of my immediate family, I will not be initially tolerrant.
Sure, after a while I would come around to the idea, but as Anainar said I'm not progressive enough to give such a choice to my loved ones :(


Anyway love is not the be all or end all of life :ahha:
There's soo much more out there :ee:


you're not offending anyone, we all have different reasons for saying "aye" or "nay" :D
and yours is as valid as anothers

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Shy akka,
thank you for your honesty :D

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Suha,
I found that within the Islamic religion, Inter-racial and inter-cultural marriages are quite frequent, as long as the outsider is willing to convert and adopt the Islamic way of life.
See that's the reason why they work. Not because they value the differences which a inter-something marriage would, but by way of adopting and converting to the Islamic culture.
I know a very happy islamic couple, the husband is Pakistani and the wife is Chinese, she converted and is learning Urdu. they have a lovely life, but I don't really see him accepting her previous way of life, she's the one adapting to his. My physics teacher a Brit, converted to Islam and learned Algerian, when he fell in love with his Algerian wife...
so many examples...in each case the non-islamic partner has to convert and adopt the Islamic life...
not really about accepting and living in harmony with different cultures, is it?


blue.

Bluelotus
03-07-2006, 10:47 AM
PS: I know lifestyle is a vague word, my definition is the daily activities, the way you do them, way you dress, what you eat. Pretty much whatever the couple is going to encounter in daily life.

I was thinking about that NS. And it just occured to me that even if I find 10 other people who have identical family backgrounds and have grown in similar circumstances to mine, I doubt that we would eat the same things, dress the same way, listen to the same music, etc :think:
Jeez they might hate pasta :00: they might listen to hip-hop all the time :?
they might be fashion victims :Ksp:

just a thought :ee:

blue.

anainar
03-07-2006, 10:56 AM
Ujjala,

Yes, that is the point I was making. Being progressive is not the inter racial marriage. Every individual makes their own decisions, based on their priorities. Categorizing people based on that is rather odd.

I dont believe in all those cultural differences, life style differences also. A pucca village guy once goes to a metro, transforms himself into a suave hunk. Now how does that happen? People who are born vegetarians, become non vegetarians for various reasons.So all these are changing traits and need define what kind of relationship one gets into.

Got to go back to work...

Cheers

suha
03-07-2006, 11:20 AM
Suha,
I found that within the Islamic religion, Inter-racial and inter-cultural marriages are quite frequent, as long as the outsider is willing to convert and adopt the Islamic way of life.
See that's the reason why they work. Not because they value the differences which a inter-something marriage would, but by way of adopting and converting to the Islamic culture.
I know a very happy islamic couple, the husband is Pakistani and the wife is Chinese, she converted and is learning Urdu. they have a lovely life, but I don't really see him accepting her previous way of life, she's the one adapting to his. My physics teacher a Brit, converted to Islam and learned Algerian, when he fell in love with his Algerian wife...
so many examples...in each case the non-islamic partner has to convert and adopt the Islamic life...
not really about accepting and living in harmony with different cultures, is it?


blue.

very true

but most of peopels i know without converting they have lovely life...muslim girl....american guy... but her life style is changed :Ksp:

not so far...now one of my paki friend is fall in love with christian guy
that problem is without converting each other they wanna married

but guys parents gaved permission...girl parents is not ...her parents said if he convert to islam then we can agree ..otherwise no....my friend wont to convert him....she said no.... we r love each others and knows very well...why should we have to convert...and i wont give him trouble...too
we can live without converting

so waiting for good result...mm lets see.... if they r get married witout any porblem...living successful life na...i will be very happy for them :ee:

==============
illa... next me try panalam la :ahha: :lol: just kidding me rombo good girl :ee:

Shy
03-07-2006, 03:28 PM
Nana.. thought abt this lifestyle too.. but appadi paartha.. inter-caste/religionae kashtama irukkum right?? I mean non-veggie sapidaravangala iruntha, appuram ellamae differenta iruntha eppadi sari varum.. so appo basically nee except your community kashtamnu thaane indirecta solra mathiri irukku :think: :think:

Shy

Idiot
03-07-2006, 05:33 PM
Nana.. thought abt this lifestyle too.. but appadi paartha.. inter-caste/religionae kashtama irukkum right?? I mean non-veggie sapidaravangala iruntha, appuram ellamae differenta iruntha eppadi sari varum.. so appo basically nee except your community kashtamnu thaane indirecta solra mathiri irukku :think: :think:

Shy

yes of course .. one have to adjust the others.. r one have to miss something for other.. r one have to do something without other.. :ee: :ee: :ee:

ns80
03-08-2006, 03:38 AM
Shy,
its not about food habits alone. It would depend on things that you are flexible with and those you are'nt.
~~~~~~

so appo basically nee except your community kashtamnu thaane indirecta solra mathiri irukku

yeah, maybe its just my case. does'nt have to mean that everyone would fall in the same category right ?
~~~~~~
IIG, recent'a edhavadhu KB padam or Visu padam paatheengalo :think:

cherachozhapandiyan
07-01-2006, 01:07 PM
why not if she is a perfect match to me?

all_india_radio
07-20-2006, 06:35 PM
good topic, for my caste defintely not.

Shy
07-20-2006, 08:11 PM
All India Radio (AIR) welcome to geetham....

why should ur caste be an issue... :think: :think:

Shy

Idiot
07-20-2006, 08:22 PM
All India Radio (AIR) welcome to geetham....

why should ur caste be an issue... :think: :think:

Shy


:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:

san2003
07-21-2006, 01:29 PM
wat u mean by ur caste definetely not AIR?

eggy.. yenna sirrupu???? :Ksp:

Cinderella
07-22-2006, 02:35 AM
good topic, for my caste defintely not.
What do you mean AIR....... :Ksp:

Welcome to Geetham AIR... :sm08:

dinesh
07-22-2006, 08:05 AM
good topic, for my caste defintely not.
funny you say that, cos in our caste, it is a definite must.....enga caste-la it's a rule that you MUST marry a latina from Ecuador :b:

san2003
07-22-2006, 09:36 AM
enga caste-la it's a rule that you MUST marry a latina from Ecuador :b:

:doh: :doh: .... i knew someone will come n say this :doh:

valluvan
07-25-2006, 03:04 PM
I 'll call Cheracholapandiyan as CCP and all_india_radio as AIR. Believe you guys don't mind. :P :D

AIR, I pity for you if your caste stops you getting marriage with another race girl. Can you elaborate more? Perhaps are you trying tell something else. :think:

If you ask me, I 'll say why not for interracial marriage provided my parents are okay with that. Because my parents are important to me and they are dependent/ rely on me and ofcourse I care for them.

Well........ Interracial marriage is not at all a problem if I have born for a very very social parents or in a cosmopolitan city where people don't care for others sothat the influence on people is less by others. It's not at all a problem if my parents haven't brought me up well or if they ain't affectionate to me so that I have a reason to deny their wish.

But my parents are moderately social. I mean though they are educated, still afraid of the society and it's talks. Especially when living in a town in tamilnadu where people living there well knew others and their family. My parents 'll consider this as a act that will denouce their image in the society and surely don't agree for interracial marriage. It will deeply pain them and hurt them.

And though I have the courage to do interraial marriage, I don't wish to give my parents such a great pain and hurt if it happened for me to fall for a girl.




But it is weird to see that Nana also said the same as what AIR said. San, D- and others are asking only to AIR.... not to Nana? :think:

CCP, you are lucky and I wish you a great future. :b: :P

Shy
07-25-2006, 09:18 PM
Valluvarae...

more thaan the fear for the society shouldnt it be the first priority for any parent to see if their child is happy and not put their social status first :think: :think:

Shy