PDA

View Full Version : Adjustment



Shy
12-06-2003, 10:43 PM
Hi all

In life we adjust for many things, for many people, known or unknown. But those doesnt affect our personal life that much as adjusting between 2 relations...

That is mother in law adjusting to her young new daughter in law
Or
Daughter in law adjusting to her old matured mother in law.

This discussion will relove around this.

Who do u think need to adjust

Mother in law
Daughter in law

Few intial points from me for both sides

(1) Mother in law should adjust , let go her son, not thinking that this new girl will take her son away from her. Should let them enjoy their new romantic life and not be strict. Should adjust since the daughter in law is new to thsi new enviroment and may be scared, frightened. Only person she knows is her husband.

(2) Daughter in law should adjust, alway mom is the fisrt priority for her husband. she should accept that. Shoudl understand that all this time mother had looked after the son and now it will be hard for hwer to let so as such and so shouldnt be pissed of when mother in law takes care of her son.

Both ladies shouldnt make the guy choose between the two.

Shy

butterfly
12-06-2003, 11:14 PM
Good topic shy...



In life we adjust for many things, for many people, known or unknown. But those doesnt affect our personal life that much as adjusting between 2 relations...


very true....we are lucky to be in this generation where we can sit with our mother-in-law & joke around...asking her lots of questions about her son even if u know helps...involve her in decision making....most imp of all plan surprises for ur husband with her help :)....be happy u have two mothers now to lean on....

vasan
12-06-2003, 11:17 PM
I know this womens forum and all that... but still this is a topic guys like me can't even talk about it.. you know.... even philosophically. This is one TRULY women's topic. :) I will stay away SHY...

:D :D

Shy
12-06-2003, 11:28 PM
yaen discuss pana mudiyaathu.. think urself in that situation.. guy standing between ur mom and wife.. who do u feel should adjust...

Entha thinking'la discuss panalaamae ;)

Shy

bindu_gopisetty
12-07-2003, 02:56 AM
i feel both of them should have the adjustments. but according current generation as soon as son gets married -----parents wants them stay seperate so that everyone can stay conforts and without any hassles in life with no restriction for anything.Anyway they gets seperates from the parents either by coming to us or working in some other place etc.so now a days you donot need to think of adjusting. in case if u come across anyone automatically they do adjust. i don't feel its a big problem for son or anyman. anything you need to take it cool.

Minik
12-07-2003, 06:51 AM
I think we are lucky nowdays motherinlaws are so nice that they do not indulge in their son's life or their daughterinlaw's life. They give us advice about life but they don't ask or say anything to their daughterinlaw. like in last generation it was horrible as we see in movies. As butterfly said we are lucky to have two mothers to lean on. If the motherinlaw is outgoing and talks freely to her new daughterinlaw(like making comments about first night) the very first day of her arriaval the new daughterinlaw will feel the home as her own, and can do anything what she wants. I am telling this out of my own experience. When I went to my inlaws house the very first day I was feeling so relaxed and my motherinlaw also was joking with me.

sri_gan
12-07-2003, 12:31 PM
Vasa,

Avalo seikiram unnai vitturuvoma, enna nalluvura meen neiya?

Seri nalliki unakku marriaghe ahuthu nu vachipom,

:lol: unga mother kkum unga wife kkum chinna manasthabam rombe simple matter mallikai poo le enn vasam varalai nu...

Appo ithe mari than vilagi povengala? :ee:

Pathil sollanum vasan, pathil sollanum... no one stays away from any topic.

vasan
12-08-2003, 01:42 AM
Vasa,

Avalo seikiram unnai vitturuvoma, enna nalluvura meen neiya?

Seri nalliki unakku marriaghe ahuthu nu vachipom,

:lol: unga mother kkum unga wife kkum chinna manasthabam rombe simple matter mallikai poo le enn vasam varalai nu...
Appo ithe mari than vilagi povengala? :ee:

Pathil sollanum vasan, pathil sollanum... no one stays away from any topic.


Idhu romba simple matter Sri.. Konjam Lateral-ah think panni paar...

Just gotta marry a nice chinese girl. She can't talk tamil - mom can't speak chinese... Moreover, I doubt if the chinese girl is really interested in mallikai poo.. :) Miss World - la 3rd place ponnu onnu Chinese-amm... Adhai kelvi pattathum thaan ippadi interestinga oru solution thonichu.. :)

Nalla idea, huh? :lol: :lol:

sri_gan
12-08-2003, 02:43 AM
Idhu romba simple matter Sri.. Konjam Lateral-ah think panni paar...

Just gotta marry a nice chinese girl. She can't talk tamil - mom can't speak chinese... Moreover, I doubt if the chinese girl is really interested in mallikai poo.. :) Miss World - la 3rd place ponnu onnu Chinese-amm... Adhai kelvi pattathum thaan ippadi interestinga oru solution thonichu.. :)

Nalla idea, huh? :lol: :lol:

Pathiya unna pudchu ulla iluthuten...seri athu pogattum...

Chinese ponne kalyanam pannina, chi chi chu chu nu athu ethavathu sollulum, puriyatti.... appuram sanga yaarum ootha vedam, athuve oothidum... Generally oru visheyam rombe common with a girls, onnum illatha sumba matter kku uriye pora mari varicnhukattikittu nipanga.. Appadi illaina, namma oorule ivalo mega serial varuma???

Evalo serial poduranuga appapa.... I think thats the major reason why Mamiyaar Marumagal problem is not coming, both of them might watch a same serial or serials of same type in different name... Since some people are already fighting in serial, these two just enjoy that fight.

Mega Serial Vazhga... Mega Serial Vazhga...Mega Serial Vazhga... Mega Serial Vazhga...

Intha shy, butterfly sollurathu ellam ketta pinnadi, nerula koncha veetukku poi partha pinnadi than enakku mega serial arumaiye theriuthu...

Shiva Shiva...

jksindhu2002
12-08-2003, 03:25 PM
Hi all

In life we adjust for many things, for many people, known or unknown. But those doesnt affect our personal life that much as adjusting between 2 relations...

That is mother in law adjusting to her young new daughter in law
Or
Daughter in law adjusting to her old matured mother in law.

This discussion will relove around this.

Who do u think need to adjust

Mother in law
Daughter in law

Few intial points from me for both sides

(1) Mother in law should adjust , let go her son, not thinking that this new girl will take her son away from her. Should let them enjoy their new romantic life and not be strict. Should adjust since the daughter in law is new to thsi new enviroment and may be scared, frightened. Only person she knows is her husband.

(2) Daughter in law should adjust, alway mom is the fisrt priority for her husband. she should accept that. Shoudl understand that all this time mother had looked after the son and now it will be hard for hwer to let so as such and so shouldnt be pissed of when mother in law takes care of her son.

Both ladies shouldnt make the guy choose between the two.

Shy


My point of view is, The Mother-in-law should adjust. Cos, She is a well experienced lady and she know how to deal all the problems. So she should sacrifice something if need.

sri_gan
12-08-2003, 03:45 PM
My point of view is, The Mother-in-law should adjust.


Jk,

Watch the bolded area? What do you mean by that. I think its a mutual understanding and there shouldn't be any shoulds...

Are you disagreeing?

Shy
12-09-2003, 12:29 AM
Ok

First intha generation MIL's are boardminded and are ready to accept the fact that the DIL is not goign to take away their son. But its NOY ALL MIL's.. There might be few who still try to "mukanaang kairu their son" which results in clashes between DIL and MIL. Vice versa too might happen, where DIL is trying to secure her husband from everyone.
Hope everyone accepts that.

(1) Mutual understanding vaenum'nu solroom. Ok paathu aluthu poona DIl'um, MIL'um iruntha ok. Eppo thaan marriage panni vanthu iruka. Udanae avalai ethai sai, athai sai. appadi atheegaaram panaum MIL still there.. Should DIL adjust at this time. U might say yes, so that life is go smooth. But think other way. her life has just started and why should she start adjusting the day she came. Shouldnt MIL be adjustable for few days, till DIL gets normal in the new environment?

Note : I am going to be neutral in this topic.. but question matum kaetutae erupaen ;)..

Vasan.. chinese poona. appo unga amma ennaikku sambhar saathaem pananum'nu erupaanga.. no no. I want vegetable lomein, my husband-vasan, will have that only..appadinu ava soluvaa.. udnae ur mom.. ok lets see, when he comes from work..will ask him, u want sambhar saatham or vegetable lomein'nu.. enna panuveenga..

Sri.. ungalukku therinchathu konjam thaan.. mamiyaar marumagal sandai eppo jaasthi aaiduthu.. MIl wants to watch annamalai in SUNTV. but DIL wants to watch anni in JAYATV. Neeya naana'nu orae amarkalaam thaan.. but ethula enjoy panrathu the guy thaan.. evanga rendu paerum sandai poodum samaithil.. casual'a will start seeing sports...no interference at all :)

Shy

sri_gan
12-09-2003, 12:34 AM
Sri.. ungalukku therinchathu konjam thaan.. mamiyaar marumagal sandai eppo jaasthi aaiduthu.. MIl wants to watch annamalai in SUNTV. but DIL wants to watch anni in JAYATV. Neeya naana'nu orae amarkalaam thaan.. but ethula enjoy panrathu the guy thaan.. evanga rendu paerum sandai poodum samaithil.. casual'a will start seeing sports...no interference at all


Nenga vera shy, ovoru vettuliyum rendu tv irrukku.. nenga ennavo puthusa sollurenga...

vasan
12-09-2003, 12:38 AM
Ok

Note : I am going to be neutral in this topic.. but question matum kaetutae erupaen ;)..

Vasan.. chinese poona. appo unga amma ennaikku sambhar saathaem pananum'nu erupaanga.. no no. I want vegetable lomein, my husband-vasan, will have that only..appadinu ava soluvaa.. udnae ur mom.. ok lets see, when he comes from work..will ask him, u want sambhar saatham or vegetable lomein'nu.. enna panuveenga..
Sri.. ungalukku therinchathu konjam thaan.. mamiyaar marumagal sandai eppo jaasthi aaiduthu.. MIl wants to watch annamalai in SUNTV. but DIL wants to watch anni in JAYATV. Neeya naana'nu orae amarkalaam thaan.. but ethula enjoy panrathu the guy thaan.. evanga rendu paerum sandai poodum samaithil.. casual'a will start seeing sports...no interference at all :)

Shy

Veg Lowmein-la saambhar kotti saapiduven.. Idhu enna periya vishayam?? Mom gets a hug and girl gets a kiss.. That is not my problem at all...

My worry is if they make me cook both lowmein and sambhar... then I am doomed... :)

Yenna, oorla irrukiraga ella pasangalaiyum indha maadhiri kelvi kette bayamururathara mudivaa... Konjam irakkam kaatunga Shy.. :cry: :pray:

Shy
12-09-2003, 01:08 AM
Veg lowein'la sambhar nalla irukae...

Scene 1
====

Vasan, coming home after a day long work (Morning 9-5--geetham'la work irukae athu thaan)

Qing, vasan's wife gets hold of him in the garage.

Vasan : Hey qing, how are ya?
Qing(chinese) : chung cha..chu chu..ching cha cha..(Translated) : I am angry. Your mom upset my mood today
Vasan :No dear, dont worry I will take care

Entering living room. Vasan's mom is sitting in sofa.

Vasan : Mom, are u alright.How are you
Mom: ennatha solla.. yaethoo oru chinese poona kalyaanam panninathum pannina.. veedu veedavaa irukku.
Qing : seeng shee shee
Vasan : Amma, Talk in English, seems she cant understand. (He then tells in tamil) Amma.. avaoru looseu, neenga yaethoo avalavi romba thappu thappa solrathu nenaikura.. english'laiyae paesungalaen..
Mom : Ok. See, U are my favorite son, I prepared sambhar today with all my love.But ur wife, prepared some snake like noodles and is challenging me that u will have that and ignore mine. Just guess how i will feel
Qing(chinese) : yug chu shee kach chu ching chung ting dong bell. (Translated)See I have married you, leaving my entire tradition and y Miss.World crown. Cant u atleast have lomein, which I made with Love for you.

Vasan, doenst know what to say. suddenly a bulb in his head. Why dont we satisfy both of them

Vasan: Mom, Qing. Why dont I have sambhar with Lomein. I think it will be very tasty.

Qing(chinese) : yoshi ying chung ching ting aihg shing thu thu thu (Translated). So u wont even accept the lomein as such. You just want to share my love. Is that what u just said.

Mom: Aasaiyaa unakaaga panninae, eppadi kalanthu sapidraenu solriyae..appo ellam ennoda sambhar'la saathaemae kalathu sapida maatae.. appadiyae kudipa.. eppo lomein kalathu sapidaraalavukku vanthaacha.. evalvu thaan nee enmaella vahu iruka paasama.. Vaendaampaa, vaendaam, Go go and have ur wife's lomein itself.

Saying this she goes to tkitchen and throws all the sambhar.

Qing(chinese): chng shung eing yung no no no. (Translated) Ur mom itself is throing away, u no need to have mine after she has said to have mine. u didnt have by urself. so u no need to have lomein

Saying this she too goes to tkitchen and throws all the Lomein.

Paavam vasan.. annaikku dinner gaali

Shy

vasan
12-09-2003, 01:16 AM
Shy...

Kalakiteegna... padichitttu vilundhu vilundhu sirichen... :) :D :yes:
Terrific imagination... :) :) :clap:

Nijamave enn paadu perum paadu thaan... :) Kalyanam aagummunnave, yedhavadhu technique yosikkanum ammavaiyum Qing-aiyum samalikka... :? :think:

venky1974
12-09-2003, 03:00 AM
Vasan Could have done one think.

Vasan 2 Qing, (Chinese) Luing kay chee pa ming ling lomein (Translated) I think I will try your lomeing.

Vasan to himesef thinking ( Let me eat the snake noodle and keep the wife happy as she is never going to understand mother - son relationship till she bears a son)

Vasan to Amma, (Quietly entering amma's room) Amma romba pasikardu... I ate the lomein and puked (Speaking Senti) Sor poda thai irrika.. patnati paathadhila.. Quin irrikum karanathinal... lomenin vandhi eadhituan... (Remember Chinna Thambi).. and then me have Sambhar from mom's hand too.. casue she cant see her son empty stomach

Vasan, Mom and Pamb lived happily ever after.

:) Pardom my Tamil Spellings

Shy
12-09-2003, 03:06 AM
Wow... venky, neenga chinese enna, russian marry paninaalum, will make both parties happy :) .. that was a good peaceful solution..

But still appo, vasan is cheating qing, even though she made lomein with pure love.. just to satisfy his mom. is that good? just kidding...vasan panninaalum pannuvaar.. sariyaana aal avar..

Shy

vasan
12-09-2003, 03:12 AM
Wow... venky, neenga chinese enna, russian marry paninaalum, will make both parties happy :) .. that was a good peaceful solution..

But still appo, vasan is cheating qing, even though she made lomein with pure love.. just to satisfy his mom. is that good? just kidding...vasan panninaalum pannuvaar.. sariyaana aal avar..

Shy

ada ada ada... Shy enn mela vachirikkra nambikkai, and the way she understands me.. :)

:clap: :clap: :D :D :D

Kai thattikittu sirikeren... Venky, neengaluma ennai ippadi ottanum??

anyways.. .Modhalla ponnu varattum... adjust pannaradhai appuram yosikkalamm :)

venky1974
12-09-2003, 03:13 AM
Like your Topic Suggests "Adjustment" Marriage is just another word for Adjustment.

You have to keep both of them happy as they are always trying to outrun each other.

An old saying.

Oru nalla karayam panarathku 100 poi sonalum paravale. So one lie to wife will keep mom happy and another one to keep wife happy.. In all only 2 poi as to 100 poi.

I think its not that bad to keep both happy.

Thanks,

Shy
12-09-2003, 09:13 PM
Venky, u are right.. But what i feel is, should it always be like this.. lying someone to make the other happy?

Cant it be normal at all? with no lies, but MIL and DIL adjusting to each other and making everyones life a lot better?

Vasan.. just kidding, i am 200% sure u will handle the situation, just fine..

Shy

vasan
12-09-2003, 09:21 PM
Venky, u are right.. But what i feel is, should it always be like this.. lying someone to make the other happy?

Cant it be normal at all? with no lies, but MIL and DIL adjusting to each other and making everyones life a lot better?

Vasan.. just kidding, i am 200% sure u will handle the situation, just fine..

Shy

:D :D

(sri ippo vandhu ketkaporan.. yen indha smilie use pannine-nnu... !!)
just a smile for your comment.. js... ouch... I am forgetting myself.. S H Y!! :lol:

On the note: I hate to put up faces - even white lies to pacify people, especially your loved ones... Kinda feel as though you live a double life.. Frank speaking should help - and let MIL, DIL, BILL, JILL, and HILL just deal with it.. :)

I mean, we could speak up in understanding and affection with out going out to lying (albeit harmless lies..)

Shy
12-09-2003, 09:26 PM
Right vasan.. U should always be transparent atleast to ur loved ones. why is the need to hide right??

I totally agree on frankly speaking on situations like this..

Appuram how come sri branded this smilie as drooling one?

Shy

sri_gan
12-09-2003, 09:27 PM
Venky, u are right.. But what i feel is, should it always be like this.. lying someone to make the other happy?

Cant it be normal at all? with no lies, but MIL and DIL adjusting to each other and making everyones life a lot better?

Vasan.. just kidding, i am 200% sure u will handle the situation, just fine..

Shy

JSI,

I know what you mean.... BTW, did you know there is an offical renaming celeberation for SHY.

It was really great.

venky1974
12-09-2003, 09:28 PM
I am sure things work out 100 % without lies in the real world and that happens when one Adjusts with the other (MIL & DIL).

People should be positive in their approach and not lie and rest we can leave for the almighty

Cheers,

vasan
12-09-2003, 09:32 PM
Right vasan.. U should always be transparent atleast to ur loved ones. why is the need to hide right??

I totally agree on frankly speaking on situations like this..

Appuram how come sri branded this smilie as drooling one?

Shy

Adhu onnum illai, Shy..

Naan yedhu panninaalum adhu ஒரு வகையில் drooling thaan-nu mudivu kattitaan... :) Ennai ottanum romba try panni paarkaran.. பொழைச்சு போகட்டும்..

சும்மா அவனை வெறுப்பேத் த இதோ இன்னும் கொஞ்சம்

:D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D
:D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D

:lol: :lol:

sri_gan
12-09-2003, 09:36 PM
Adhu onnum illai, Shy..

Naan yedhu panninaalum adhu ஒரு வகையில் drooling thaan-nu mudivu kattitaan... :) Ennai ottanum romba try panni paarkaran.. பொழைச்சு போகட்டும்..

சும்மா அவனை வெறுப்பேத் த இதோ இன்னும் கொஞ்சம்

:D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D
:D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D

:lol: :lol:

Yaaro, Yarukko, Yaara pathiyo detail kodukuranga....

Yaaro, Yaaro melyo verupagi, ore :) le a poduranga....

Naan vazhi pokkan but interesting kavanichuttu irruken...

sWEEtmICHe
12-09-2003, 10:10 PM
hiee friends,
Great topic, thanks shy :b:
Well both roles are the same, once daughter- in- law, latter mother- in- law, if she can't adjust in her 1st stage, she will definitely does it in her 2nd stage or vice versa .if all this been maintained, in a situation like, understanding. Sharing, communication tolerable, good listener, and then their path will be smooth, and lastly the common reason is mere jealousy!!

to be con't........ http://www.geocities.com/subashworld/2001/pictures/paandavar.jpg

gooday :wink: :b:

butterfly
12-10-2003, 12:24 AM
venky wrote,


Oru nalla karayam panarathku 100 poi sonalum paravale. So one lie to wife will keep mom happy and another one to keep wife happy.. In all only 2 poi as to 100 poi.



I dont think telling poi will get anyone anywhere...coz lies have ways of coming out....& once that trust is gone...how can u trust that person again???

venky1974
12-10-2003, 12:39 AM
No telling Poi will surely not get any where...200 % agree panerain...

Trust is like a thread... once broken canot be knitted back, only a knot can be tied.

Satyameva Jayate

vasan
12-10-2003, 01:02 AM
வாய்மையே வெல்லும் !

:D

sri_gan
12-10-2003, 01:14 AM
Oppilappana - uppiliappan akki...

pooi enbathai poi nu mathi

irrukuravangala imsai pannurathe namma alungalukku valakama poochu....

1000 poi(lie) illa 1000 pooi (go) ....

Trust is always the key for any factor, to get trusted and trusted one should be honest and speak the truth.

Shy
12-12-2003, 03:39 PM
Adjustment yaar pannina life smootha poogum..

I mean if DIL adjusts, I think everythign will fall in place. except for ofcourse DIL will feel bad that she cant enjoy her life as she wanted to.

If MIL adjusts, then not only that family.. relatives, friends and society will talk ill abt DIL, that she sided MIL and is making her life miserable.

What do u think will be the best option

Shy

sri_gan
12-12-2003, 03:50 PM
Ennakku itha pathi suthama onnume theriyathu 'cause i'm a bachelor.

General a sollanum na, ellarume humans thane MIL or DIL are not from vera planet, so parasparam enna pannina kovam varum, enna pannina kovam kuraiyum nu pesi vachikalam.

Mostly ithe mari pesanum endra enna vanthutave, i think the problem can be resolved or atleast they both agree to come on a deal and understand they are also humans.

Is this impossible?

:lol: Note: Ofcourse, ithai therunchikittu kaduppu etha use panna kudathu...

Shy
12-12-2003, 04:09 PM
yaen discuss pana mudiyaathu.. think urself in that situation.. guy standing between ur mom and wife.. who do u feel should adjust...

Entha thinking'la discuss panalaamae ;)

Shy

Sri already vasan sonaar like u.. so quoting the same reply for..

Eppo discuss pannunga, ellai sollungo who do u feel should adjust and why?

Shy

Shy
12-12-2003, 04:10 PM
yaen discuss pana mudiyaathu.. think urself in that situation.. guy standing between ur mom and wife.. who do u feel should adjust...

Entha thinking'la discuss panalaamae ;)

Shy

Sri already vasan sonaar like u.. so quoting the same reply for..

Eppo discuss pannunga, ellai sollungo who do u feel should adjust and why?

Shy

sri_gan
12-12-2003, 04:11 PM
Eppo discuss pannunga, ellai sollungo who do u feel should adjust and why?


Naan sollirukane....

Parasparam enna pannina kovam varum, enna pannina kovam kuraiyum nu pesi vachikalam.

Thats a first step to tackle an issue.

vasan
12-12-2003, 04:32 PM
Eppo discuss pannunga, ellai sollungo who do u feel should adjust and why?


Naan sollirukane....

Parasparam enna pannina kovam varum, enna pannina kovam kuraiyum nu pesi vachikalam.

Thats a first step to tackle an issue.

Romba rathina surukkama sollavendaam Sri... Parasparam understanding is only the ultimate goal - but how is the road to this paradise (or utopia?!) is paved in the real world, full of not so perfect peopl? That is the million dollar kustin.. ! (I think that is whats aimed at this topic..)

Yaar anusariththu poganum? Eppadi 'good understanding' and harmony create pannaradhu?
lets hear your ideas...

sri_gan
12-12-2003, 04:48 PM
Seri ok...oru detail explanation kodukuren kelungooo....

I remember i was comparing a women's crying part to a newly born child's situation, But in a different topic.

Most of the DIL thinks then when they go to MIL's Place, it is a new place where the situation really is not when we have a heart.

First DIL should start or atleast try to start thinking it is their home, this can reduce some fear. Chumma solla kudathu nanga ellam appadi than think pannurom nu... silenta yousichu partha you know your own fears.

On the MIL part, they should create and have a heart like if they gave birth to a new child, ofcourse this is easy to do when it is an arranged marriage, it is not bad even in love marriage, ellarume humans thane.

The major cause for a friction is, people give most priority to the way they grow instead of a basic part which is humanity, manusanga endra unarvai marunthuduranga....ithu eppo reflect agum na.. when they are in trouble....

This is an interesting topic... Innum neriya irruku.... ippo koncham busy a irruken...please bear with me...

(Will continue...)

venky1974
12-12-2003, 04:49 PM
Adjustment yaar pannina life smootha poogum..

I mean if DIL adjusts, I think everythign will fall in place. except for ofcourse DIL will feel bad that she cant enjoy her life as she wanted to.

If MIL adjusts, then not only that family.. relatives, friends and society will talk ill abt DIL, that she sided MIL and is making her life miserable.

What do u think will be the best option


Shy,

How is that DIL and MIL fight on the first place? Where did this all start? What was the root casue for all this issues between the MIL & DIL?

(In old times) Could this have been the case?

a) MIL thought that the DIL is her property ( Servant)

b) DIL should be treated properly only if she brings lots of dowry

c) Becasue of this DIL she is brainwashing my son and etc..

d) DIL thinks that since I am married away, it should be the same with the Groom that he is married to me and the MIL has to rights to interfere in our affairs.

I am sure if we can come to a root cause of this we can say who needs toa adjust and who needs to co operate.

Please enlighten me folks

Venky

butterfly
12-12-2003, 04:49 PM
Both shud adjust depending on the situation

most of us now dont live with our inlaws...so its pretty hard to give the right input here...but we can give some examples which might help

when we go on holidays...our main aim is to spend time with our immediate family...our parents & our brothers & sisters ( I meant both sides...urs & ur husband's)....when u reach there u find ur MIL had invited all her family..probably her brothers & sisters or ur FIl's brothers & sisters...ur so tired frm travelling...& it requires a lot of patience...wat do u do??
wud u say ur tired & go rest...or wud u adjust & to make it easy on ur MIL...stay with everyone & talk while ur half asleep :)
???

venky1974
12-12-2003, 05:05 PM
Butterfly,

Good point... I really can't be in a womans' show to reply this question of yours but I can say one thing...

These days genuinely most of the Fmly realize that we are tired of all the travelling but we are in an excitement to go home. so when we see all the family at home it does feel good.

If I were to go to my IN law's place and visit and I am tired and i tell my better half that I want to sleep she will probably feed me with 2 jugs of Narasoos coffee and keep me awake cause its her family and she wants me to be there. :D :D :D :D

I think our family are there to meet us be with us and make us comfortable at home and Personally i would not go to sleep and make them feel bad.( this is just me)

Cheers

butterfly
12-12-2003, 05:09 PM
If I were to go to my IN law's place and visit and I am tired and i tell my better half that I want to sleep she will probably feed me with 2 jugs of Narasoos coffee and keep me awake cause its her family and she wants me to be there.


good one...there u go...so u do adjust & ur wife helps u in this process...same way u got to be there when she is in ur place too...& thats part of adjustment :)

venky1974
12-12-2003, 05:17 PM
same way u got to be there when she is in ur place too...& thats part of adjustment


Me feeding 2 Jugs of Narasoos Coffee to keep her awake...

Narasos 's stock price will go high casue of this DIL & MIL issues.

Point is .. You scratch my back I scratch your back.
You be nice to me in my house .. I be nice to you in your house
You sleep when my family is here.... I bathe you with Coffee

:D :D :D :D :D

venky

sri_gan
12-12-2003, 05:20 PM
Venky,

All you are talking about is simple vacation plan, That is not a solution.

There are still family day by day run with MIL and DIL living together avangalukku enna enbathai than namma inga pakuram.

Ofcourse, pongal or diwali kku meet pannupothu ellarum santhosama than irrupanga.. athuve oru 3 months living trip irruntha kathai ellam kanthiri kolam aidum...

Onnum illatha washing machine kku kuda sandai varum, enn intha thooniya washing machine le potte nu....

Believe me it is just me not got married, bit didn't mean I haven't see such fights.

Let go the depth of the Adjustment part appo than the topic will gain its real weight.

muralipr
12-12-2003, 05:30 PM
first of all for happier relationship between mother-in -law and daughter-in-law, the mother-in-law should think her daughter-in-law as her daughter, and the daughter-in-law has to think her mother-in-law as her mother. If both thinks so there is no room for fight. Then adjustment follows between a mother and daughter automatically. For a mother her daughter will never be a burden and a daughter her mother will never be a burden. Then how come problem comes in this kind of situation?

Shy
12-12-2003, 05:32 PM
Sri..

Neenga solrathu romba correct. To be cautious about others dislikes and avoid doing it will solve the problem.. not only between DIL and MIL, but also between any 2 humanbeing in relationship.. but that will not happen in reality, right?

There should be some type of adjustment on how to lead a smooth life between these 2 people. Thats where the mystery lies....

Athai pathi sollunga.. Like if u read our earlier posts like vasan's qing.. u will know what we are talkign abt.


Shy

muralipr
12-12-2003, 05:36 PM
Shy please quote and reply for what u are replying

muralipr
12-12-2003, 05:37 PM
That will be easier for others while reading

supremehero
12-12-2003, 05:39 PM
We can see MIL vs. DIL trouble show only from india ....! We never see this type of fights in other countries....so just analyse about indian culture and jealousy level among indian women.....! just try to find out some things in scientific ways to solve this problem; they would be helpful to cure those women's jealousy....!
Grow tolerance and high level of understandings among indian women from childhood......otherwise you never ever find solution for this trouble....and kitchen explosions......!!!

:P :ahha: :think:

vasan
12-12-2003, 05:42 PM
Sri..

Neenga solrathu romba correct. To be cautious about others dislikes and avoid doing it will solve the problem.. not only between DIL and MIL, but also between any 2 humanbeing in relationship.. but that will not happen in reality, right?

There should be some type of adjustment on how to lead a smooth life between these 2 people. Thats where the mystery lies....

Athai pathi sollunga.. Like if u read our earlier posts like vasan's qing.. u will know what we are talkign abt.

Shy


While I would dearly love to please all people, What scares the living day lights out of me on any relationship - even in a nameless, faceless, no strings attached, not-over-the-limits, online relationship - the stress it puts on me to avoid the what the other person dislikes. Most often I don't fully understand a person (I don't understand myself, for that matter).. So being always on the cautious side, not knowing if what I say will be taken lightly or not is a killer in any conversation.

Similarly for any sort of action.. (Is this the right smilie to use (online)? Can I ask for her out for a coffee (stranger) ? Would she get angry is I do it like this (mom, sister, wife, daughter, friend).. etc.. etc..) I am wondering if these extra cautions we take simply kill the joy in a relationship...

:think:

vasan
12-12-2003, 05:46 PM
We can see MIL vs. DIL trouble show only from india ....! We never see this type of fights in other countries....so just analyse about indian culture and jealousy level among indian women.....! just try to find out some things in scientific ways to solve this problem; they would be helpful to cure those women's jealousy....!
Grow tolerance and high level of understandings among indian women from childhood......otherwise you never ever find solution for this trouble....and kitchen explosions......!!!

:P :ahha: :think:

It really not true. MILs are everyones favourite 'hate' objects.. both guys and girls.. Its true for most countries - definitely so for US. We don't hear about it, because elderly parents don't live with their children in US.

Scientific way?? I am not sure what you are saying here..

muralipr
12-12-2003, 05:54 PM
We can see MIL vs. DIL trouble show only from india ....! We never see this type of fights in other countries....so just analyse about indian culture and jealousy level among indian women.....! just try to find out some things in scientific ways to solve this problem; they would be helpful to cure those women's jealousy....!
Grow tolerance and high level of understandings among indian women from childhood......otherwise you never ever find solution for this trouble....and kitchen explosions......!!!



Indian culture is not a problem. The fight occurs bec the reason is lot of love . This may be lacking in other countries so there fight does not come. Have to seen in other countries MIL and DIL being in same home ? NO They never stay in same home. They meet very occasionally. But in india it is not like this. They stay together. Since the mother loves her son a lot she does not like the love being shared by his DIL. Then since the Wife loves her husband a lot she cannot tolerate her love being shared to his MIL . Thats the reason for fight.

For solving this kind of situation the DIL has to think his MIL as her mother and share her love with her too as how she showers love to her husband. On the other side the MIL has to think her DIL as her daughter and has to shower love on her as how she showers love on his Son.
Then no Jealous occurs between the two.

sri_gan
12-12-2003, 05:56 PM
We can see MIL vs. DIL trouble show only from india ....! We never see this type of fights in other countries....so just analyse about indian culture and jealousy level among indian women.....! just try to find out some things in scientific ways to solve this problem; they would be helpful to cure those women's jealousy....!
Grow tolerance and high level of understandings among indian women from childhood......otherwise you never ever find solution for this trouble....and kitchen explosions......!!!

:P :ahha: :think:

Supreme Hero There is a show called "Everybody Loves Raymond" Thats a typical western... ithu ulagam puravum irruku....

vasan
12-12-2003, 06:05 PM
My Indian culture is not a problem. The fight occurs bec the reason is lot of love . This may be lacking in other countries so there fight does not come. Have to seen in other countries MIL and DIL being in same home ? NO They never stay in same home. They meet very occasionally. But in india it is not like this. They stay together. Since the mother loves her son a lot she does not like the love being shared by his DIL. Then since the Wife loves her husband a lot she cannot tolerate her love being shared to his MIL . Thats the reason for fight.

For solving this kind of situation the DIL has to think his MIL as her mother and share her love with her too as how she showers love to her husband. On the other side the MIL has to think her DIL as her daughter and has to shower love on her as how she showers love on his Son.
Then no Jealous occurs between the two.

I don't think there is fight because there is lot of love. The difficulties are simply because of personality clash and proximity.

It is true that in India parents live with their children and not so in US. But thats more to do with social/economic setup and job and such requirements. Not because parents here love their children less. (What would you say for this? I have a few siblings and if my parents choose to live with one of them for what ever reason, is it because they don't love the rest? Living with your children is not just based on Love). And the disagreements are also not because people love more (or less) but because of misunderstandings and difference in basic ways of doing things and personality.

venky1974
12-12-2003, 06:13 PM
Similarly for any sort of action.. (Is this the right smilie to use (online)? Can I ask for her out for a coffee (stranger) ? Would she get angry is I do it like this (mom, sister, wife, daughter, friend).. etc.. etc..) I am wondering if these extra cautions we take simply kill the joy in a relationship...



Vasan,

I think at some point in time you have to try. Being in a mixed state of mind does not help.
Say you say something that the other person likes, that is where you learn from experience and then you will not have to be in mixed mind. Try it man.



It really not true. MILs are everyones favourite 'hate' objects.. both guys and girls.. Its true for most countries - definitely so for US. We don't hear about it, because elderly parents don't live with their children in US.


I agree with vasan here... we asians atleast have the respect to keep and take care of our parents all our lifes... atleast not sending flowers through the florist shop for mothers day and fathers day.





For solving this kind of situation the DIL has to think his MIL as her mother and share her love with her too as how she showers love to her husband. On the other side the MIL has to think her DIL as her daughter and has to shower love on her as how she showers love on his Son.


I think the grom should first take the MIL to be his mother and the bride in turn seeing the amount of respect he has for his wife will then start to take her in laws as her own parents.

I think the boys themselves have a good supportive role to play to iron out these issues.

Venky

vasan
12-12-2003, 06:19 PM
I agree with vasan here... we asians atleast have the respect to keep and take care of our parents all our lifes... atleast not sending flowers through the florist shop for mothers day and fathers day.


Venky,

Like I said for Muralipr, its neither respect nor love that makes us keep our parents with us.. And if you send flowers and such for mothers day and fathers day and meet them once in a while for thanksgiving it does not mean you don't love or respect your parents. Its a different society... and people express their love and respect for parents differently.

Most of these are decided by the cultural aspect - and economical aspect. I don't see my parents for two three years at a stretch.. Not because I don't love them but because I can't...

venky1974
12-12-2003, 06:25 PM
Vasan,

I see your point and quite agree. I never thought on that angle.

I guess different ppl do things differetly.

Venky

supremehero
12-12-2003, 06:32 PM
We can see MIL vs. DIL trouble show only from india ....! We never see this type of fights in other countries....so just analyse about indian culture and jealousy level among indian women.....! just try to find out some things in scientific ways to solve this problem; they would be helpful to cure those women's jealousy....!
Grow tolerance and high level of understandings among indian women from childhood......otherwise you never ever find solution for this trouble....and kitchen explosions......!!!



Indian culture is not a problem. The fight occurs bec the reason is lot of love . This may be lacking in other countries so there fight does not come. Have to seen in other countries MIL and DIL being in same home ? NO They never stay in same home. They meet very occasionally. But in india it is not like this. They stay together. Since the mother loves her son a lot she does not like the love being shared by his DIL. Then since the Wife loves her husband a lot she cannot tolerate her love being shared to his MIL . Thats the reason for fight.

For solving this kind of situation the DIL has to think his MIL as her mother and share her love with her too as how she showers love to her husband. On the other side the MIL has to think her DIL as her daughter and has to shower love on her as how she showers love on his Son.
Then no Jealous occurs between the two.

compare both messages in bold letter ......!

Scientific way means making solutions using find outs obtaind through psychological and sociological ways.

:P :ahha: :b:

Shy
12-12-2003, 06:52 PM
guys... few hoursla will be back.. got something to finish.. catch u all later... vanthu ennoda points solraen..

murali... ur point noted.. actually i was supposed to reply immed to sri'a post.. athukula few posts been posted... anyway thanks...

Shy

muralipr
12-12-2003, 06:54 PM
Vasan wrote:
muralipr wrote:

Indian culture is not a problem. The fight occurs bec the reason is lot of love . This may be lacking in other countries so there fight does not come. Have to seen in other countries MIL and DIL being in same home ? NO They never stay in same home. They meet very occasionally. But in india it is not like this. They stay together. Since the mother loves her son a lot she does not like the love being shared by his DIL. Then since the Wife loves her husband a lot she cannot tolerate her love being shared to his MIL . Thats the reason for fight.

For solving this kind of situation the DIL has to think his MIL as her mother and share her love with her too as how she showers love to her husband. On the other side the MIL has to think her DIL as her daughter and has to shower love on her as how she showers love on his Son.
Then no Jealous occurs between the two.


I don't think there is fight because there is lot of love. The difficulties are simply because of personality clash and proximity.

It is true that in India parents live with their children and not so in US. But thats more to do with social/economic setup and job and such requirements. Not because parents here love their children less. (What would you say for this? I have a few siblings and if my parents choose to live with one of them for what ever reason, is it because they don't love the rest? Living with your children is not just based on Love). And the disagreements are also not because people love more (or less) but because of misunderstandings and difference in basic ways of doing things and personality.

_________________
Vasan


I did not say that there is no love here and we have only in india. But in india love is more than here. I can say this for sure.In most of the families love is the reason for fight. What u said may be in some families.A mother cannot able to see his son loving his wife lot and not taking care of her that much bec she loves his son lot . She wants him to pay attention on her, bec he is the person she is loving so much. She cannot able to tolerate it. So she goes and fights with her DIL for no reasons. Here only love makes problems.

See for a DIL she leaves her entire family for the sake of his husband . So she wants his husband to take care of her first. If he takes care of his mother lot she feels jealous and gets into a quick quarell. Another reason is that since they are new to each other, they lack understanding of each other. If they understand each other then there is no room for fight. They shower love on each other(MIL and DIL) like how they shower love on his son and his husband. A MIL is first a wife, then only a mother of a child, so thinking of that she should understand his DILs feelings and DIL is going to be a mother for a day, so she should understand her MILs feelings. If understanding prevails between them then there is a no chance for fight

butterfly
12-12-2003, 07:17 PM
It wud be nice if ppl can give examples rather than giving general statements...coz general statements can be read anywhere....little things can add up to big things...so even if the situation is small lets bring it up so we can see how different ppl react to it

sri_gan
12-12-2003, 07:19 PM
It wud be nice if ppl can give examples rather than giving general statements...coz general statements can be read anywhere....little things can add up to big things...so even if the situation is small lets bring it up so we can see how different ppl react to it

Ok Butterfly.

Nenga ketta mari examples 'ee kodukuren.. in a script form.

Does that sound fair to you guys?

'cause converstation type na.. padichuittu ellam maranthiruvanga or speculation nu ellam solla kudathu...

muralipr
12-12-2003, 07:26 PM
Thats a good idea

dinesh
12-12-2003, 10:45 PM
That is mother in law adjusting to her young new daughter in law
Or
Daughter in law adjusting to her old matured mother in law.

If one doesn't marry, one will not get in-laws. And one would have no need to adjust. Simple.

vasan
12-12-2003, 10:54 PM
That is mother in law adjusting to her young new daughter in law
Or
Daughter in law adjusting to her old matured mother in law.

If one doesn't marry, one will not get in-laws. And one would have no need to adjust. Simple.

Very true...

Except that, then, one gets to deal with a 'nagging' girlfriend, her complaining parents, and her friends and former crushes who keep telling her she could have done a lot better... :lol:

Life is great equalizer, Shidinesh... you miss on some you will be filled with something else..

silican
12-12-2003, 11:01 PM
Shy,
இதெல்லாம் பெண்கள் psychology . Consider 2 cases..(its become a habit of mine to list points :( )

1) Consider one Lady.Avangalukku oru ponnu,oru paiyan..modhalla paiyan veetukku poraanga. pogumbodhu buslaendu paakranga..keezha scooterla avanga paiyan avanoda Wife kootikittu jolly'aa engeyo poraan..namma Madam kadupps aayidaraanga. thinks "marumaga adhukulla en paiyana mundhanaiyila mudinjikitta..enna thalaiyanai mandhiram pottalo theriyalai..Ratchasi, en paiyana en kittendhu pirichitta "

2) the same lady goes to his daughters place..same situation BUS..now her daughter is going in a scooter with her husband. Namma madam ippo enna nenaippanga ? "En ponnu Gettikkari..adhukkula veetukkarara kaiyila pottukitta..Samathu.." appdiye manasu neranju poyidum.

Idhulendhu enna theriyudhu ? same MOM, acting in-differently in 2 similar situations. Matter ennanna, ovvoru ammakkum than magan than control'la dhan irukkanumnnu oru nenaippu irukkum..IT is completely out of Paasam. andha control thannoda maatu-ponnu kitta pogum bodhu, sandai starts..this maatu ponnu doesnt understand all this and being one appavi girl who listens from her MOm and relatives,tries to get her control on her husband( completely out of LOVE ) ...aaga rendu perum anba pozhiyiromnnu aduthavangala virodhiya dhan paakaranga.


aana idhula nalla maatikitu muzhikkiradhu paavam that innocent GUY.

Idhellam naan generalize pannalai.SO yaarum sandaikku varadheenga.

Silican

silican
12-12-2003, 11:08 PM
Indha thollai ellam irukka koodadhunnu dhan, me, Shidinesh madhiri sila Buthisaalinga mattum secret plan vachirukkom..

"Ayyanaar Body'a paar..pullayar buthiya paar.
Ayyappan amsama kundhikiinikkira style'yum paar.
Aarupada voodu katnavaru konjam naughty (comenaughty illa) aanaaru doublu dutu senjaaru
Kadseela budget thaangama pazhani malaiyila aandi aanaaru "

Shy
12-13-2003, 01:48 AM
Great guys.. full posts eppo thaan padichaen...

First for Muralipr..

Main essence in ur topic was that out of to much love, the problem arises.

You got to understand something here. There is too different types of love to the same source(guy).

Motherly love and Romantic love(???, help me here guy.. whats type fo love can we say the wifes one has).

So out of love thaan rendu paerum sandai pootukuraangannu ennala sola mudiyalai.. more than love theres EGO, RACE on who will take control of the guy, whose VOICE will be higher etc.

Yaen if its too much love .. cant they understand that its love they have towards each other and hence why should they fight.. rendu paerum rendu pakkam niagara mathiri antha guykku love poliyaa vaendiyathu thaanae...

So Out of more love ellam sugared words mathiri thann irkku enakku.. theres somethign else other than this.

Shy

Shy
12-13-2003, 02:34 AM
Neenga sona example exactly true.

But kadaisiyaa onnu sonenga parunga. angae thaan difference'ae....


Matter ennanna, ovvoru ammakkum than magan than control'la dhan irukkanumnnu oru nenaippu irukkum..IT is completely out of Paasam. andha control thannoda maatu-ponnu kitta pogum bodhu, sandai starts..this maatu ponnu doesnt understand all this and being one appavi girl who listens from her MOm and relatives,tries to get her control on her husband( completely out of LOVE ) ...aaga rendu perum anba pozhiyiromnnu aduthavangala virodhiya dhan paakaranga.

So out of love, MIL doesnt like DIL to share her love..

But thannoda daughter mapillaiyaa nalla control'la vachukarthai paathu santhoosha padum oru MIL, why doesnt she accept the fact that that same daughter is as DIL here with her son. appo daughter matum nalla mapillaiyaa munthaanaila mudinchu vachukalaam.. not her DIL? Appo DIL or daughter.. they are doing what they like to do.. enjoy their intiail romance with their husband.. but angae erukara MIl''oda kannula athu thappa padrathu.. appadi thaanae?

Why cant the MILS see this.....

The MIL whose happy seeing her daughter smart, will feel angry seeing her DIL smart right? Appo wont she think ethae feeling thaan thannoda daughter'ooda MILkku irukkumnu?

This MIL eppadi ellam theeturaangallo.. athae mathiri thaanae that MIL will curse her daughter?



Eppo bathil sollungo.. who should let go who to make life easier and peaceful?


ovvoru ammakkum than magan than control'la dhan irukkanumnnu oru nenaippu irukkum.


Guy enna car'a.. athu enna Mother control'la thaan irukanum.. Appuram athae mathiri wife control pana varannu soli erukeenga.. I dont accept his at all..

Guys are not Remote cars for thse ladies to have control and play with.

Love erukalaam.. but for that u shouldnt try to own them.




The more u squeeze love on a person the more chances are they might leave you

Shy

silican
12-13-2003, 03:34 AM
Guy enna car'a.. athu enna Mother control'la thaan irukanum.. Appuram athae mathiri wife control pana varannu soli erukeenga.. I dont accept his at all..

Guys are not Remote cars for thse ladies to have control and play with.

Love erukalaam.. but for that u shouldnt try to own them.




The more u squeeze love on a person the more chances are they might leave you

Shy



Control'nna Adakkumurai Aalumai'nnu artham illai..Gavanippu Aravanaipunnu eduthukkonga..

Sila ammakkal than paiyanukku ethana vayasaanalum Kuzhandhai dhan..Kulipppatti vidaradhilirundhu Office anuppura varaikkum ellam avangale panna dhan thirupthi. Paiyan thittuvan.."amma naan kozhandhai illai"nnu...aanalum amma manasu kekkadhu. Thaan dhan pannanumnnu sollum. Kalyanam aana vodane idhu completeaa cchange aayitta,if suppose the son calls his wife to mudhugu thechi vittufy,romantically (neraya Thamizh padam paakreno ? :Ksp: ) ammakku evvlo kaduppu varum ? nethu varaikkum en mundhanaiya pudichikittu thirinja paya...adhukulla ivanukku eppdi sokku podi pottu maathitta ava'nnu MIL mela dhane Gaand'avum ?

idhai dhan Control'nnu sonnen. Ippo puriyudha SHY ? paapome naalikku kalyanam aana vidane neengalum unga Wife Control'la dhane vara poreenga ?? :lol: :lol: :lol:

silican
12-13-2003, 03:38 AM
But thannoda daughter mapillaiyaa nalla control'la vachukarthai paathu santhoosha padum oru MIL, why doesnt she accept the fact that that same daughter is as DIL here with her son. appo daughter matum nalla mapillaiyaa munthaanaila mudinchu vachukalaam.. not her DIL? Appo DIL or daughter.. they are doing what they like to do.. enjoy their intiail romance with their husband.. but angae erukara MIl''oda kannula athu thappa padrathu.. appadi thaanae?

Why cant the MILS see this.....

The MIL whose happy seeing her daughter smart, will feel angry seeing her DIL smart right? Appo wont she think ethae feeling thaan thannoda daughter'ooda MILkku irukkumnu?

This MIL eppadi ellam theeturaangallo.. athae mathiri thaanae that MIL will curse her daughter?



Eppo bathil sollungo.. who should let go who to make life easier and peaceful?


Shy


idhu simple logic'nga..andha positionla andha Lady'kku than ponnum pillayum dhan theriyaranga..She is a mother to her son and daughter and not a MIL to her DIL/SIL...So appo "naan oru MIL adhe madhiri dhane en sambandhi ammavum ? "appdeennu ellam yosikka maataanga.

Shy
12-15-2003, 09:22 PM
idhai dhan Control'nnu sonnen. Ippo puriyudha SHY ? paapome naalikku kalyanam aana vidane neengalum unga Wife Control'la dhane vara poreenga ?? :lol: :lol: :lol:

Ennakku puriyarathu irukatum first.. athu enna again and again naan wife control'la vara pooraen solreenga :evil: :evil: .. appo neenga husband control'la vara pooreenga paarunga


Ok eppo topickku varalaam


Sila ammakkal than paiyanukku ethana vayasaanalum Kuzhandhai dhan..Kulipppatti vidaradhilirundhu Office anuppura varaikkum ellam avangale panna dhan thirupthi. Paiyan thittuvan.."amma naan kozhandhai illai"nnu...aanalum amma manasu kekkadhu. Thaan dhan pannanumnnu sollum. Kalyanam aana vodane idhu completeaa cchange aayitta,if suppose the son calls his wife to mudhugu thechi vittufy,romantically (neraya Thamizh padam paakreno ? :Ksp: ) ammakku evvlo kaduppu varum ? nethu varaikkum en mundhanaiya pudichikittu thirinja paya...adhukulla ivanukku eppdi sokku podi pottu maathitta ava'nnu MIL mela dhane Gaand'avum ?

Nalla kathaiyaa irukae... paiyanukku neenga thaan paathu kalyaanam saenchu vaikureenga. appo romantic'a chinna seerusugal appadi eppadi thaan irupaangannu eruka vaendiyathu thaanae.
Paiyanae.. wife'a thaanae kupiduraan.. appuram enna.. he wants her and calls her. If a mom has that much paasam and aravanaippu in that son.. she should understand his feelings and let go him to enjoy his life.

athai vitutu.. Bachelor mathiriyae nee marriagekku appuram erukanumnnu nenaicha.. whose fault is that?
A mom cant restrain his son to show his feelings only inside 4 walls. A new wife might except something in public, like encouraging her cooking when she cooks for the first time in his house. when she gives in some ideas.. something like that. appo when he does that.. paaru paaru valiyuraanu sonaa enna aartham...sollunga.

Ethu naala paavam 1000 dreams ooda vara DIL paavam .. because of this nature of MIL she too gets hurt and then feeling unsecure then starts using her weapon.

eppo sollunga?

Shy

sri_gan
12-15-2003, 09:34 PM
Here is a Sample dialogues as i promised, i'm not sure it is an exaguration .. compromise with your reality...

Oru small joint family lunch situation eduthupom:

(Mams, mil, hub, dil)

(DIL cooks vengaya sambar with the help of geetham recipe section ;), MIL makes poriyaal)

(DIL serving for all, MIL Just listening...)

Mams take a first sip of rice and sambar.. wonder at taste..(Geetham recipe ache summa va?)

Mams: Sambar nalla irruke.. antha kaikku oru kappu podanu...

Hub: Amma sambar nalla irruku romba nalla irruku, :winks: at wife...

MIL: (tension) naanum ivalo naal sambar vaikiren, yaarchum orutharavai solli irrukengala...

Mams: (with kidding nature) Nee vaikirethellam sambar naa suduthaniya enna nu solurathu...

(This DIL laughs innocently, MIL notes this point...)

Now MIL comes to serving mode for her poriyaal.....

Mams: Poriyaal le uppu pathalai koncham uppu kodunga....


MIL: (tastes it) ellam pothum.. ungalukku BP so upp ellam vendam....

(DIL tries to get salt and give to Mams)

Now MIL looks for a chance.. and she got it....

MIL: endi enn purusanukku sangu ootharathukune vanthirukiya....

(This is the begining of a friction...)

The simple reason behind that is MIL didn't get a credit for her food....

How to avoid this situation?

Feed your thoughts, I will try to come up with a solution....

silican
12-15-2003, 09:37 PM
I got confused with you and your arumai thambi maadu..adhan...veronnnum illai..


Ongalukku ipo recent'aa dhan kalyanam aacha?? edho Marumagal'galin Katchi thalaivi madhiri pesreenga..DIL'kku 1000 dreams irukkum dhan illennu sollalai..aana 25+ varushama valathuttu vandha paiyan ippdi damaal'nnu thannoda DIL kitta saran adanjitta enna dhan analyze panra matured MIL'aa irundhalum kaduppaga dhane seiyum ? ippo vidunga..innoru 20 varusham kazhichu..(neenga aunty'na eppdiyum oru 35 irukkum...so 35+20 =...) unga MIL ippdi pannanganna ungalukku kobam varumaannu appo Geethamla ezhudhunga.

Silican

silican
12-15-2003, 09:41 PM
sri....sathyama nee oorukku pottiya kattalam...kandippa V.Sekhar rangekku onakku Kodampakatthula periya Edhir kaalam irukku...appdi illena kooda edhavadhu TV'la kudumba sikkal,veetukku vandha marumagal,maatu ponnu madhiri serial eduthu Simran lead role'la pottu sema pinnu pinnalam...

Tucker script ma undhu... :clap:

madhu_aish1
12-15-2003, 09:42 PM
I got confused with you and your arumai thambi maadu..adhan...veronnnum illai..


just peeped into this topic.. for sure not my cup of cofeee.. :D atleast now..

just wanted to explain silican's silly doubt...

dei sili . i am pombalai...sweet 18.. and SHY is ambalai.. quarter century.. are u clear now.. :D

Madhu

sri_gan
12-15-2003, 09:52 PM
I got confused with you and your arumai thambi maadu..adhan...veronnnum illai..


just peeped into this topic.. for sure not my cup of cofeee.. :D atleast now..

just wanted to explain silican's silly doubt...

dei sili . i am pombalai...sweet 18.. and SHY is ambalai.. quarter century.. are u clear now.. :D

Madhu

Dei.. Maadu.. don't detour the topic da... Nee ponna irruntha engalukku enna payyana irrutha engalukku enna....

Entha ponnu than than punnu punnu nu sollikathu pasangathan intha mari vellai ellam pannuvanaga poda po... engaiyachum poi muttika poo...

Shy
12-15-2003, 10:01 PM
I got confused with you and your arumai thambi maadu..adhan...veronnnum illai..


Ongalukku ipo recent'aa dhan kalyanam aacha?? edho Marumagal'galin Katchi thalaivi madhiri pesreenga..DIL'kku 1000 dreams irukkum dhan illennu sollalai..aana 25+ varushama valathuttu vandha paiyan ippdi damaal'nnu thannoda DIL kitta saran adanjitta enna dhan analyze panra matured MIL'aa irundhalum kaduppaga dhane seiyum ? ippo vidunga..innoru 20 varusham kazhichu..(neenga aunty'na eppdiyum oru 35 irukkum...so 35+20 =...) unga MIL ippdi pannanganna ungalukku kobam varumaannu appo Geethamla ezhudhunga.

Silican


:evil: :evil: :evil: :evil: 35'aa.. neenga appo 70.. :lol: :lol: :lol:

anyway... katchi ellam ellai silican.. I am asking u for answers. 25+ years u grew him up.. nobody denies that.. but hes till with u right.. but that girl she leaves everyone she had known for 20+ years and she know only her husband and she has that intimate feeling only with him and will feel secure with him initially.. moreover thats a beautiful phase for her. Appo yaarukku insecurity jaasthiyaa irukkum and who should adjust.. A girl whose like " kanai katti kaatula vita mathiri" avala.. ellai as usual son enkuuda thaan irukaan.. I am seeing him daily. avanagala?

As a matured person.. who wants his son to be happy, I expect the MIL to let go her son and have fun with her DIL. Ennala athu ellam oothuka mudiyaathu.. if shes matured and love him more than anything... then why she need to always tag her son with her.

U know what their problem is.. theres a thinking that vantha puthusula.. the guy willfall for his wife.. puthu wife'nu moogathula irupaan.. appovae namba ushar aaganum... appo everything will be under controlnnu oru thinking.. so chinna seerusagalai they wont let them enjoy as they wish.

Ennai kindal adikarathai vitutu olunga reply pannunga.. ;)

Shy

silican
12-15-2003, 10:07 PM
Sareeenga madam..(naan kindal adikkama padhil solren)
aama let go and have fun sari dhan...adhukkaga vara DIL thani kuduthanam polaamnnu thannoda paiyana kootittu poyitta ? adhan oru caution..andha caution samayathla konjam excess'a poyiduthu..vra DIL idhai purinjikittu oru 6 months-1 year edhirthu pesaama adakkama irundha maamiyarkku nalla impression varum,..che che iva paavam..appavi ponnu en paiyana en kittendhu ellam pirikka maata..appdeenu thonum..so adhukkapuram she will start behaving normally..

Enna right'a ??

butterfly
12-16-2003, 12:03 AM
Oru small joint family lunch situation eduthupom:

(Mams, mil, hub, dil)

(DIL cooks vengaya sambar with the help of geetham recipe section , MIL makes poriyaal)

(DIL serving for all, MIL Just listening...)


situatione thappu...Y is DIL going to geetham recipe section when MIL is around???....If she is not sure she is better off asking her MIL...which wud make the MIL feel Important...& y both making 2 different items??...they cud work together & make sambhar & poriyal....one can cut the veg while the other cooks ...



Mams: Sambar nalla irruke.. antha kaikku oru kappu podanu...

Hub: Amma sambar nalla irruku romba nalla irruku, :winks: at wife...



Look @ the source for the fight :)...ofcourse it is men :)...Y praise one person in front of the other??

Shy
12-16-2003, 01:34 AM
Sareeenga madam..(naan kindal adikkama padhil solren)
aama let go and have fun sari dhan...adhukkaga vara DIL thani kuduthanam polaamnnu thannoda paiyana kootittu poyitta ? adhan oru caution..andha caution samayathla konjam excess'a poyiduthu..vra DIL idhai purinjikittu oru 6 months-1 year edhirthu pesaama adakkama irundha maamiyarkku nalla impression varum,..che che iva paavam..appavi ponnu en paiyana en kittendhu ellam pirikka maata..appdeenu thonum..so adhukkapuram she will start behaving normally..

Enna right'a ??

Silican.. I think instead of the DIL whose going to come and lead a life here who should normally have the insecure feeling like if her husband will like her, understand her.. will his family like her.. I think MIL is scared that DIL will take away her son from her and hence she starts her muukinaang kairu for her son from the start. Am I right.

See u are exposing MIl as a childish inexperinced, immature lady whose scared that her son will go away. But shouldnt she be more patience and handle the young lady and lead her to a good path so that everyone will lead a smooth life? Athu enna.. first 6-one year the DIL should adjust and behave sa per her MIl and ice pudichufy her MIl so that MIL will think shes poochi.. Cant the elder lady trust the younger one and allow her to enjoy her life.. Always she can have her love towards the son the same. Neenga unga paiyan maela pasam vachu iruntheengana.. always when taking those idiotic drastic steps he will sure ask u first.. because he would have told his wife.. paarudi.. enna thaan irunthaalum.. amma, appa thaan ennoda priority.. avanga manasu noogaama I wont do anything.

As u are saying.. mother being scared it feels like she doesnt trust her son

She can directly tell her son and daughter in law in the starting itself.. paarumma.. this is cultured, traditional family.. we are always joint family. so nee vanthu santhooshama irukalaam.. nalla ennoda paiyana paathukalaam.. but thanni kudithanam.. appadi eppadinu ellam think panaathae.. apapdinu solalaam.. She always have the right to say that right.. hes the eldermost in the family.

Otherway..pakuvumma.. softa..friendly can tell her her decisions and can be firm on that.. theres no point in attacking indirectly. She can always let her DIL know her points so that DIL will know the limits and not show the stress unneccasrily somewhere else.

Enna naan solrathu.. eppo sollunga

Shy

Shy
12-16-2003, 02:01 AM
Here is a Sample dialogues as i promised, i'm not sure it is an exaguration .. compromise with your reality...

Oru small joint family lunch situation eduthupom:

(Mams, mil, hub, dil)

(DIL cooks vengaya sambar with the help of geetham recipe section ;), MIL makes poriyaal)

(DIL serving for all, MIL Just listening...)

Mams take a first sip of rice and sambar.. wonder at taste..(Geetham recipe ache summa va?)

Mams: Sambar nalla irruke.. antha kaikku oru kappu podanu...

Hub: Amma sambar nalla irruku romba nalla irruku, :winks: at wife...

MIL: (tension) naanum ivalo naal sambar vaikiren, yaarchum orutharavai solli irrukengala...

Mams: (with kidding nature) Nee vaikirethellam sambar naa suduthaniya enna nu solurathu...

(This DIL laughs innocently, MIL notes this point...)

Now MIL comes to serving mode for her poriyaal.....

Mams: Poriyaal le uppu pathalai koncham uppu kodunga....


MIL: (tastes it) ellam pothum.. ungalukku BP so upp ellam vendam....

(DIL tries to get salt and give to Mams)

Now MIL looks for a chance.. and she got it....

MIL: endi enn purusanukku sangu ootharathukune vanthirukiya....

(This is the begining of a friction...)

The simple reason behind that is MIL didn't get a credit for her food....

How to avoid this situation?

Feed your thoughts, I will try to come up with a solution....


Sri.. nalla practical imagination.. realla husband and FIL will support the new girl and let her of her fears in the new place.. but MIL irukaangalae...

One and Only Solution is

MIL should stop being childish and stop racing with her new DIL. DIL is nervous that whether her cooking will be appreciated by her husband's family members and she should be supported there right.. not MIL whose been cooking for more than 30 years.

MIL should be the first to appreciate her DIL first than the others. This will make DIl erase of the fear she have towards her MIl and start accepting her as her Mother instead of MIL.

Athai vitutu a 50 year old when she races with a 20 year old. just imagine what the odds will be. Do u expect the younger to adjust to the situation. The younger will get pissed off more and start hating her MIl even more and whatwever MIl was scared of like thanni kudithanam.. munthaanai mudichu.. everything might start happening because thats how DIL starts reta
liating for all her aasaigal being shattered by MIl.

Appuram naan appovae nenaichaen.. eppadi thaan enn paiyana kuteetu pooga pooraanu.. athu mathiriyae nadanthuduthu'nu sonna enna saeirathu sollunga.. If only she has accepted her as Daugther instaed of DIL.. these things would not happen.

Shy

butterfly
12-16-2003, 02:13 AM
Sri.. nalla practical imagination.. realla husband and FIL will support the new girl and let her of her fears in the new place.. but MIL irukaangalae...

One and Only Solution is

MIL should stop being childish and stop racing with her new DIL. DIL is nervous that whether her cooking will be appreciated by her husband's family members and she should be supported there right.. not MIL whose been cooking for more than 30 years.


Shy,
FIL & husband support panalam..but enge eppo support panrathunu yosichu pananum
If MIL is been cooking for more than 30 yrs...& was never appreciated but all of asudden in front of her her DIL is appreciated na MIl will get J...u cant blame her for that...avunga ivalavu naal prusuhanukum maganuku edhu pudikumo? edhu pudhikaathunu parthu samaichu pottu irukango...that needs to be considered here

The solution to avoid such conflict is working together...If its our own mom wudnt we ask her how to do & work together??if the same situation is between 2 sisters wont the other sister feel bad?....that the sis who made the sambhar got praised?...believe me MIL enjoys helping their DIL when it comes to the welfare of their son



MIL should be the first to appreciate her DIL first than the others. This will make DIl erase of the fear she have towards her MIl and start accepting her as her Mother instead of MIL.


DIL shud realise the MIL knows her husband more than her & shud appreciate the MIL for Giving away her son to her...so If living tigether ask for inputs & involve MIl where she cud...showing that she appreciates her...

sri_gan
12-16-2003, 02:19 AM
Butterfly,

Nenga innum source of the problem ye thedurenga... it will not solve the issue, 'cause i gave the source of the problem in my coversation itself...

Geetham oda recipe rombe healthy 'cause neriya per youngsters recipe poduranga :snooty:

Shy correcta puduchitanga..Anna shy nenga MIL race component a partha...ofcourse she will be looking racing...

There are better ways to handle this issue, it just the matter of appreciation..

The moment MIL hits the peak, no one can speak... Instead of DIL reply to her right away the better way to handle it after and softer...

1. DIL can approach later to MIL and say unga poriyal really superb... naan ninaikiren Mams was kidding at you.

2. Next time nengale sambar vainga I will cut the vegetables rendu peru enna solluranga nu parpom...

There are more ways too, my best way of approaching a problem is to face it without fear..

DIL should not go sit and cry for what MIL is hitting on... ofcourse Mams and Husband did praise.. MIL le madikka poda vazhi kandu pidikanum...ofcourse she is also a women.. ella women'um sollikirenga.. "ponn oda manasu ponnu kku than therium..." MIL nu varum pothu why are you look at her different...

Odane mudivu pannirathinga...i'm also trying trial and error possibilities to sneak this issue out...

Vera ethavathu approach irruka... don't just say MIl shoul see DIL as daughter...what she need to do as a Mom for DIL... I want those answers....

butterfly
12-16-2003, 02:31 AM
Sri,
If u read the post just above urs I have given my input..



2. Next time nengale sambar vainga I will cut the vegetables rendu peru enna solluranga nu parpom...


To me this is not a good idea...it looks more like ur challenging her...I will cut the veg u cooknu...ur not accepting that she is a good cook too nu

sri_gan
12-16-2003, 02:51 AM
Sri,
If u read the post just above urs I have given my input..



2. Next time nengale sambar vainga I will cut the vegetables rendu peru enna solluranga nu parpom...


To me this is not a good idea...it looks more like ur challenging her...I will cut the veg u cooknu...ur not accepting that she is a good cook too nu

:nono: :nono: Appadi illai... Yaaruchum oruthar vittu kodutha thane... grease mari ethavathu form panni vaikanaum...

Ippadi sollurathala it doesn't mean DIL is not a good cook... it just the fact a taking a diverse route... enakku onnum thappa irrukum nu thonalai...

May be some MIL's might loose the pidivatham and might ask their DIL to make sambars... it could happen illaya thats the point...

In manay occasions, when some one expects to fight with us, if we take a decision which will create reverse effect, avangala mara sollidum....

This is not a defined approach as i said before its a trial and error method than.

butterfly
12-16-2003, 03:37 AM
Appadi illai... Yaaruchum oruthar vittu kodutha thane... grease mari ethavathu form panni vaikanaum...

Ippadi sollurathala it doesn't mean DIL is not a good cook... it just the fact a taking a diverse route... enakku onnum thappa irrukum nu thonalai...




Sri, read this again


Next time nengale sambar vainga I will cut the vegetables



If the DIL is saying this to the MIL for sure ange fight varum...The MIL will surely think her DIL is challenging her...its like the DIL is saying I will cut the veg..lets see if ur sambhar comes out as good as mine nu


Ippadi sollurathala it doesn't mean DIL is not a good cook... it just the fact a taking a diverse route... enakku onnum thappa irrukum nu thonalai...

Inge DIL vide baathikapatathu MIL..so avungalai pacify panna than try pananum

If I was the DIL I wud say dont u know about ur hus & ur son...they are just pulling ur leg to see ur reactionu...sirichukittu sollitu vitudanum...

sri_gan
12-16-2003, 10:48 AM
If I was the DIL I wud say dont u know about ur hus & ur son...they are just pulling ur leg to see ur reactionu...sirichukittu sollitu vitudanum...

Ithu vellai seiyum nu sollurenga? Vera yaarchum comments sollunga pa...

shysumi
12-16-2003, 10:58 AM
One can immediate solution...husband should give some punishments to his wife....like teachers giving students at school, then can it solve very easy...! so Husband should be strong...physically and mentally....

:P :lol: :ahha: :yes:

sri_gan
12-16-2003, 11:01 AM
One can immediate solution...husband should give some punishments to his wife....like teachers giving students at school, then can it solve very easy...! so Husband should be strong...physically and mentally....

:P :lol: :ahha: :yes:

Welcome Back to Forums shysumi ;).

We call that a male domination, which is disappearing nowadays... ofcourse some guys does do that even now but it will not stay long... might be another 25 yrs avalothan...

Anyway please don't detour the topic... justify your opinion for a situation we are discussing on...

Shy
12-16-2003, 06:57 PM
The moment MIL hits the peak, no one can speak... Instead of DIL reply to her right away the better way to handle it after and softer...


Sri.. This is where we all are getting lost.. DIl has nothing to do with this. FAther in law kindal adichufying his wife(MIL) and her son appreciated his wife(DIL). Whats did DIL do. she just was happy that her new family accepted her cooking. Now at this point MIL id at all she wants to get angry, she should be only towards her son and husband, not the new girl. So why should the new girl go and talk to MIL for? IF she says as u say..MIL will get more agitated.. "ho.. so u are happy that they kindal adichufied me and let me down in front of u?" appadinu think pannuvaanga.


1. DIL can approach later to MIL and say unga poriyal really superb... naan ninaikiren Mams was kidding at you.

No she cant say that sri.. as I said earlier.. MIl will get mpre frustrated.. eva enna solrathunu...

u know what she say.. when she got appreciated at the table when everyone was ahving lunch.. immediately after getting the appreciation.. she can say.. cha cha.. amma thaan ellam soli thanaanga.. she was guiding me what to do.. avanga ellama ethu would have been just a hot water.. appadinu thanaiyae angae irakii.. can lift her MIL.. in this way MIL will feel that shes obedient...


ella women'um sollikirenga.. "ponn oda manasu ponnu kku than therium..." MIL nu varum pothu why are you look at her different...

enna sri.. entha proverb maranthuteenga..
"oru penin heart is so deep that we can never understand what it is" - so ladies enna nenaikuraanga.. appadinu solavae mudiyaathu.. so got to move along the flow...

Shy

Shy
12-16-2003, 07:15 PM
FIL & husband support panalam..but enge eppo support panrathunu yosichu pananum
If MIL is been cooking for more than 30 yrs...& was never appreciated but all of asudden in front of her her DIL is appreciated na MIl will get J...u cant blame her for that...avunga ivalavu naal prusuhanukum maganuku edhu pudikumo? edhu pudhikaathunu parthu samaichu pottu irukango...that needs to be considered here

Right.. totally agreed.. but who should consider that.. the person who appreciates right.. the people who had been 30 years with her and know how well she took care of them??? so avanga panra thappu naala why should DIL be tortured.

Also those 2 people are telling that in the light term.. no husband or son will degrade their wife or mother in front of DIL. The only reason they are telling that is to make her comfortable and encourage her. Appo yaen childish'a nadanthukanum MIL. cant she too appreciate DIL and say ..great now I am happy that I am happily retire from kitchen???

the reason I dont understand is Y in such situations(as sri said-sambhar) the DIL are burdened to handle the situation when she least cares about? is it just because its her life and she has come to lead a new life and to safe guard that life, ice MIL always and whatever she says accept it and move on. Doesnt she have a liking of her own?


If its our own mom wudnt we ask her how to do & work together??if the same situation is between 2 sisters wont the other sister feel bad?....that the sis who made the sambhar got praised?...

PP, sisters is entirely different issue.. both sisters are not insecure that any one will grab the parents and make them against her. Both of them will always know that parents are the same to them. Same situation'ae ellai ethu.. there are from the same blood and its not the any one is new to the family and scared that if they will all like her cooking.


believe me MIL enjoys helping their DIL when it comes to the welfare of their son

MIL doesnt even like to share her sons love with any other lady.. only with that thinking the problem starts... so whats there to think abt the welfare of the son.

Avanga thaanae enakku kitchenla help panavum.. son ooda life partnera irukavum oru girl paathu kalyaanam panraanga.. appuram ava vanthu nalla samaicha.. paraata ellam kuudaathu.. appadina.. whose fault is that sollunga?


DIL shud realise the MIL knows her husband more than her & shud appreciate the MIL for Giving away her son to her...so If living tigether ask for inputs & involve MIl where she cud...showing that she appreciates her...

U are right butterfly... kandeepa avalavu naal paathu paathu valartha son thaan.. Atleast the son is with her always.. but the girl's parents and the girl.. she leaves the entire life she had been and starts a whole new life and tries to accomodate herself in that. So as elders I expect MIL, FIL and also the husband to make the environment pleasant for her to feel as if shes home. What else then elders are for right??? chinna kulanthai mathiri ennoda paiyan ennoda paiyan'nu pudichu vachutae eruntha.. then what will be the girls mentality.. she married him or the MIL.. who should she start to please to make the life peaceful sollunga??

Shy

sri_gan
12-16-2003, 08:08 PM
enna sri.. entha proverb maranthuteenga..
"oru penin heart is so deep that we can never understand what it is" - so ladies enna nenaikuraanga.. appadinu solavae mudiyaathu.. so got to move along the flow...


Aunty, Enna kindala? This is the actual proverb, nanga mathuna edathula vittuputtu inga vanthu mathuniya kekurengala...

sri_gan
12-16-2003, 08:13 PM
No she cant say that sri.. as I said earlier.. MIl will get mpre frustrated.. eva enna solrathunu...

u know what she say.. when she got appreciated at the table when everyone was ahving lunch.. immediately after getting the appreciation.. she can say.. cha cha.. amma thaan ellam soli thanaanga.. she was guiding me what to do.. avanga ellama ethu would have been just a hot water.. appadinu thanaiyae angae irakii.. can lift her MIL.. in this way MIL will feel that shes obedient...


Sudu pattuchuna.. hillnu ice thani kai vacha punnu thala aridum... atha vittuputtu naanum ganda kattuven yeen naan nalla vaa samaikala nu nenachutta... friction kandippa persu than agum...

Illaina... topic yee divert pannivitturalam...athukku FIL or Husband ivanga rendu perula orthuthar pakkam gaanda thiruppi vidalam....

FIL sambaar nalla irruku nu sollu pothe... DIL, poriyal taste pannunga innum supera irrukum nu sollida vendiyathu.. onnum theriyatha FIL, poriyalum DIL than vachirrukkum nu aha ha oho nu pesa arambichirum...

ithu eppadi irruku...;) atha vittu puttu.... MIL oru gragam DIl oru gragam naan eppa parthalum friction irrukatha seiyum....

silican
12-16-2003, 10:35 PM
Illa sri,
argue pannadhey...Aunty nalla edho plan pottuttu dhan post podraanga..Ovvoru post'um paaru..edho ACM paper kanakka irukku..idhai elalm naan eppo padichi reply panradhu ? SHY solradha enakku piriyira meri neat'aa short'aa sollunga..

Silican