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sWEEtmICHe
12-13-2003, 04:23 PM
Housewife n working woman who can raise their children better?

The woman is both housewife and working woman at the same time.... She puts aside time each day doing housework/work and she can keep an eye on the children, however the housewife’s model is now irrelevant. Women are now educated and (relatively) emancipated. It’s not fair to impose on them the cultural expectation of such a role. In any case, the cost of living is such that most families need a second income.... and now they are facing contradiction between their two roles.... in bringing up their children :think: Comments please!! ...

thank u
gOODAy :wink:

silican
12-13-2003, 05:26 PM
kANDIPPA..house wifee dhan.
12 vaasu varaikkum chinna kozhandhaingaluku koodave irukkaradhu dhan better.oru nalla individula'aa moulld panna sariyana tharunam..indha vayasula dhan avanga ccharacter formation/behaviour ellam develop aagum.so it is a must to give complete attention to the kid.
again from 15-18 rendun-kettan vayasyu..appo kandippa parents kodave irukannum. Nalla friend'a Guuide'a mentor'a irukkanum.

I dont think a woman can manage both her office work and the child at the same time so efficiently. Udane SHY madhiri aalunga kekkalam...en pullaya aambalainga valakka mudiyadhaa'nu.Guys are not tht patient kids (sadly..) same reason why there are mostly women employed as Kindergarten teachers.

Silican

sri_gan
12-13-2003, 06:11 PM
Working Women ala pillaingallai nalla valaka mudiyathu reason is very clear, vellaiyum pannikittu kuzhathaium vazhakurathu is an impossible thing.

vellila vellai kku poitu veetu vantha first thoonurathu, enga sitha neram amaithiya irrukalam nu... ithu kedaikatti, innum koncha naala le ponnungalukkum Bp eri poochu appdinu oru survey sollum.

Like silican said, since women can have more patience (reality le neriya per follow pannurathu illai) all the kindergarden schools (even till 5th standard) contains women as teachers.

Shy
12-13-2003, 11:57 PM
Enna silican eppadi soliiteengo...

Read my posts in Important role for a girl. Naan 200% support a housewife and I have said no man has the patience to bring up the kid like a woman.

So I second ur thoughts here.. Housewife is the one who can mould the kid better.. not a working woman.. because more than her influence on the kid, its going to be child care person.

Also that doesnt mean that I am stating that all wives should go to work. All I am saying it they should be there for the kid whenever required. Once they are matured enough and are going to school they can do part time jobs or something.

Like silican said... those intiial stages of the kid is very important.. its the basic foundation and as parents we shouldnt let that to some third person like child care person to handle that.

Comedy track : But eppo housewives matum enna saeiraanga sollunga.. Always TV thaan.. so aaga moothathula.. kids thaana valranthaathaan undu

Shy

silican
12-14-2003, 12:01 AM
irunga SHY,
ongalukku kalyanam aagattum...Full time SUN TV mega serial paakara wife kitta neenga maatikittu Thayumanavan aaga poreenga.

Silican

Shy
12-14-2003, 12:04 AM
Enna aachu.. naan eppadi oru wife kita maata mudiyumm ???

Shy

silican
12-14-2003, 12:05 AM
confused with u and madhu...tht u were a guy...My bad.

silican

king_143
12-14-2003, 01:58 AM
Mr.X is brought up in a very good way by his mother. She is a house wife.But Mr. X has a child and his wife is a working woman.
Ithu kastamana kelvi than Mr.X ku ...

sofiadorathy
12-14-2003, 08:33 AM
Mr.X is brought up in a very good way by his mother. She is a house wife.But Mr. X has a child and his wife is a working woman.
Ithu kastamana kelvi than Mr.X ku ...



sorry to disturb the topic yaar....king what ru tryin to say now???? who is that Mr.X can u explain...lol up

Be Happy....

king_143
12-14-2003, 08:41 AM
Enata solraduinga,
Mr. X represents the whole of middle class young men from our society. Pona generation le women padikilai inda generation le kathika poravanga padichu valaiku poravanga, former re support pana , wife noda freedom stop panamadri latter re support panna amma vai kurai sunamadri.

butterfly
12-14-2003, 07:07 PM
sweetmiche wrote


Housewife n working woman who can raise their children better?


Its always house wife...atleast the first 5 yrs of a child's life...its good for the child to have her mother stay home...but today more & more women are working...in such situations its good to have atleast the granparents home...so the child wud develop our culture & gets good attention ...

king_143
12-14-2003, 07:13 PM
Its always house wife...atleast the first 5 yrs of a child's life...its good for the child to have her mother stay home...but today more & more women are working...in such situations its good to have atleast the granparents home...so the child wud develop our culture & gets good attention ...


That a great idea sending to grandparents home , but which side? And the option of not working for 5 years is good but I dont beleive most women would be able to go back to work after this period of gap ( very difficult but not impossible).Moreover after getting 5 years of good service I dont think husbands would either agree

butterfly
12-14-2003, 07:28 PM
King wrote,


That a great idea sending to grandparents home , but which side?


I dont think its good idea to send kids away frm parents to grandma's place...was talking more living together...which side depends on the situation...coz most grandparents are working too...so whoever is able to live with the family u bring them



Moreover after getting 5 years of good service I dont think husbands would either agree


May be true...but u shud also think of ur wife's choice in deciding this...all the education she went thru...is it to sit @ home??...moreever if ur child is going to school...wat do u expect her to stay home & do???get addicted to TV?...The situation now is its pretty hard to raise kids with just one person's salary...

venky1974
12-14-2003, 07:30 PM
in such situations its good to have atleast the granparents home...so the child wud develop our culture & gets good attention ...


I beg to differ here. Parents have sacrificed enough to bring us up , now it is our responsibility to take care of our parents and our children.

No husband and wife can pass the buck of bringing up their children to their parents. Its just not correct.

I think if the woman is working and the situation in the house needs both the income then its the responsibility of both the parents to bring up the child. Its not only the prime responsibility of the mother to bring up, Father also has a equal role to play.

Cheers

butterfly
12-14-2003, 07:36 PM
Very true Venky...But if u cud have ur parents home...it makes a lot of difference ...it doesnt mean ur passing away ur responsiblity...thats the reason i said its not good to send a kid away to the grandma...coz I do believe a kid shud be raised by both the father & the mother...but If both are working...then It wud be nicer to have granparents home than the child going into day care...but it all depends on the grandparents...coz most of our parents are still working...so its not fair to take them away frm their job for our selfish reasons

Shy
12-15-2003, 04:53 PM
Butterfly wrote,

But if u cud have ur parents home...it makes a lot of difference ...it doesnt mean ur passing away ur responsiblity...thats the reason i said its not good to send a kid away to the grandma...coz I do believe a kid shud be raised by both the father & the mother...but If both are working...then It wud be nicer to have granparents home than the child going into day care...but it all depends on the grandparents...coz most of our parents are still working...so its not fair to take them away frm their job for our selfish reasons


Butterfly,

Having grandparents in home instead to take care of the children instead of having them in child care doesnt make any difference. The main point is both the parents are missing the initial stages of their kids life and coming back in evening and spending some few hrs before their sleep will not help them in any way. Having grandparents can help the kids get some culture. But thats just a very small part in the kids growth. The main thing is the parents being with them in each of their moments, u know. A mother can always teach the kid the culture and tradition that they have all along the family, but the intimate feelings a kid have towards the mother and daddy, cannot be replaced by grandparents or whoever it is. Its upto the parents to decide that crucial factor.


Venky Wrote,
I beg to differ here. Parents have sacrificed enough to bring us up , now it is our responsibility to take care of our parents and our children.
No husband and wife can pass the buck of bringing up their children to their parents. Its just not correct.

I totally accept this venky. ITs each human being responsibility to take of their parents and children.

In India, I see many old couples just being shuttled between sons family and daughters family just so that the sons and daughters can go to work and these poor old couples can take care of the children. Wont these old couples need a rest. Are they machines to take of ur children. they what are u, right? I feel very pissed off seeing young couples taking advantage of their parents, thinking materialistically that once we have the parents here, its free of charge to take care of our kids and we can both work.

A real son or daughter should do this. Take care of ur children and as well as ur parents

As ages goes by parents too are like kids. Its our responsibility to take care of them, not to burden them with our responsibility.


Venky wrote,
I think if the woman is working and the situation in the house needs both the income then its the responsibility of both the parents to bring up the child. Its not only the prime responsibility of the mother to bring up, Father also has a equal role to play.

Yes, when the parents decide that both of them are going to work , then they need to share their responsilibilities within themselves. But venky, I differ here, its the prime responsiblity of a mother to bring up the child. A father can help bring up the child financially and also be a role model for the kid or something. Can help the mother. But the actual duty lies with the mother. ITs she who has to take care of the kid until its recongines the world.

More to come

Shy

sri_gan
12-15-2003, 05:00 PM
Shy,



A mother can always teach the kid the culture and tradition that they have all along the family, but the intimate feelings a kid have towards the mother and daddy, cannot be replaced by grandparents or whoever it is.


Its a fact that kids will attach more with Grand Parents, I used to be like that before as well i'm seeing nowadays kids also...

It is true what you are saying, but in a scenario like two parents were working kids are definetely losing the love and attention they like to see and hear which is also true, that could be a reason why kids love to be with grand parents...

When a kid grow with a grand parents, romba chellam kodukka chances irruku athukaga.. kids kku kidaikka vendiya anbum pasam, even cuddling ellam kedaikka kudathu enabthu illai...

If it is possible to bring the grand parents near the kids it is like heaven for the kids and if it is feasible I will not deny that.

Any one disagree?

venky1974
12-15-2003, 06:21 PM
Shy, I think times are changing, I agree that a mother is the one that has more moral responsibility towards the child, but a father should also have equal responsibility to bring up the child. The reason I am stressing this is, in the future there should not be any issue between the parents as to who brought up the child and fight about it.

It will not leave a good impression in the upbringing of the child.

My point here is " Mother & Father " together are called parents and its parents who have to bring up the child.

Shy
12-15-2003, 06:32 PM
Its a fact that kids will attach more with Grand Parents, I used to be like that before as well i'm seeing nowadays kids also...
It is true what you are saying, but in a scenario like two parents were working kids are definetely losing the love and attention they like to see and hear which is also true, that could be a reason why kids love to be with grand parents...
When a kid grow with a grand parents, romba chellam kodukka chances irruku athukaga.. kids kku kidaikka vendiya anbum pasam, even cuddling ellam kedaikka kudathu enabthu illai...
If it is possible to bring the grand parents near the kids it is like heaven for the kids and if it is feasible I will not deny that.
Any one disagree?

Sri.. I can agree that you can bring in your parents or her parents to be with you, so that u can take care of them or they can be happy being with their grandkids. The point that I wont agree is in reality not many think as u do. They think materialistically what will happen when they bring their parents. They think that they will take care of the kids and thus we can do something useful at that time. This type of thinking I will never agree.

Think panni paarungo.. Initial stages when the kid is in home, when it needs the extra need and care, appo thaan grandparents will be shuttled here and there. once athu school pooga arambichuduthunaa, athuku appuramum how many couples have their parents with themselves than transporting them to other sons and daughters places sollunga? I know there are many sons like venky mentioned who like and have kadamai feeling to take care fo their parents.. but not many do that... appadinae if he likes, wives will never accept that too.

So at times like these, I feel its better off for them to be a distant from the sons/daughters family than be with them and get hurt easily. Enna solreenga?

Shy

venky1974
12-15-2003, 06:46 PM
Totally true that parents as a whole should be responsible for bringing up the child.

But in general, father takes of the family financially. he doesnt have that much time to shape up the kid in its initial stage of the life right. Mother is the one who should be there at that crucial time. Athai thaan sola varaen venky.

BTW, enna thaan generation mareenaalum, eppo kuuda when a daughter or son is no good, udanae, they point the fingers to the mother... saying.. she didnt grow them up properly. Thats true right. When the kid is with the mother most of its years than the father, then its upto the mother to have moulded the kid correctly with manners and discipline. Father will sure do that. But the quality time he spend his very less when compared to mothers.

Athunaala thaan solraen, rendu paerum appo work worknu poita.. then kid'a yaar valarpaa? shouldnt someone be with the kid? Appo udnae we cant agrue that the father can be with the kid. thats not possible, because of many reasons, as I stated earlier.

So venky even thought theoritically its the duty of both the parents to bring up the kid, most of the responsibility lies in the mothers hands as she spends most of the initial quality time with the kid than the father.

Enna solreengo?
Shy



Something wrong in the post. I did not write all this. Can you reformat and fix what happeend?

Venky

Shy
12-15-2003, 06:52 PM
Shy, I think times are changing, I agree that a mother is the one that has more moral responsibility towards the child, but a father should also have equal responsibility to bring up the child. The reason I am stressing this is, in the future there should not be any issue between the parents as to who brought up the child and fight about it.

It will not leave a good impression in the upbringing of the child.

My point here is " Mother & Father " together are called parents and its parents who have to bring up the child.



Totally true that parents as a whole should be responsible for bringing up the child.

But in general, father takes of the family financially. he doesnt have that much time to shape up the kid in its initial stage of the life right. Mother is the one who should be there at that crucial time. Athai thaan sola varaen venky.

BTW, enna thaan generation mareenaalum, eppo kuuda when a daughter or son is no good, udanae, they point the fingers to the mother... saying.. she didnt grow them up properly. Thats true right. When the kid is with the mother most of its years than the father, then its upto the mother to have moulded the kid correctly with manners and discipline. Father will sure do that. But the quality time he spend his very less when compared to mothers.

Athunaala thaan solraen, rendu paerum appo work worknu poita.. then kid'a yaar valarpaa? shouldnt someone be with the kid? Appo udnae we cant agrue that the father can be with the kid. thats not possible, because of many reasons, as I stated earlier.

So venky even thought theoritically its the duty of both the parents to bring up the kid, most of the responsibility lies in the mothers hands as she spends most of the initial quality time with the kid than the father.

Enna solreengo?
Shy

Shy
12-15-2003, 06:53 PM
Sorry venky.. naan thaan thappu panninaen..

Unga post'a quote panrathukku badhil , I hit edit.. athaan confusion..

Sorry again.. Corrected now

Shy

sri_gan
12-15-2003, 06:56 PM
Initial stages when the kid is in home, when it needs the extra need and care, appo thaan grandparents will be shuttled here and there. once athu school pooga arambichuduthunaa, athuku appuramum how many couples have their parents with themselves than transporting them to other sons and daughters places sollunga? I know there are many sons like venky mentioned who like and have kadamai feeling to take care fo their parents.. but not many do that... appadinae if he likes, wives will never accept that too.


There is a big :nono: :nono::nono::nono: if people thinkin just to bring their parents till the child to grew up, thats insane, athu kevalamana muttal thanam.

Nalla point kondu vanthenga shy, there must be one more topic about how to take care of the parents when they become older. Neriya per pasam katturathe illai appa amma vukku.. athai vida periya pavam ulagathule illai, If I see some one doing like that, I will go mad like anything.



So at times like these, I feel its better off for them to be a distant from the sons/daughters family than be with them and get hurt easily. Enna solreenga?


Ennala appadi ellam yosikka mudiyalai.... even though I'm staying off with my parents now, After sometime I will move back with them and be closer with them. I have seen lot of parents in some temples in US being so much worried about missing their near by people and no one even talks here nu...sila peru kitta ukanthu pesi irruken.. it is true, i'm not joking.

Ellam plan panni vachirruken, athu padi than nadappen.

Mithavangalukku eppadiyo enakku theriyathu, Appa amma mathikka theriyalaina enna selvam, enna pugal, enna arivu irrunthalum athu yarukkum puryochanam illai... melum melum pavangalai seivatharkku athu samam.

Usually it is one more good thing to grew up with Thatha patti is, usually they will read all old puranams, avviyaar pattu ellam padipanga.. kuzhanthaikalukku kathai solluvanaga...nalla olukkam enbathu athuvazhiya than varum...

Inniki irruka modern society le ithukellam enga neram nu ennai kettalum keppinga..Thats how our forefathers wanted the family to be... innikum athu possible manasu vaikanum ...

Antha manasu vaikatti... no matter its city or village, its a dumb thought.

venky1974
12-15-2003, 06:59 PM
Thai paasam vithu kodukumatengle :D :D :D


Venky

sri_gan
12-15-2003, 07:02 PM
Thai paasam vithu kodukumatengle :D :D :D


Venky

Enna kindala? :oops: :oops: Ithula vittu kodukka vittu kodukama irruka enna irruku...

Ippo nenga eppadi irrukengalo.. appadi than unga pillaingalum irrukum... thats a fact.. illainu sollunga pakalam.

Shy
12-15-2003, 07:29 PM
I second sri on his thoughts.. thats very true Sri.

Yeah I agree that kids growing up with grandparents will sure know more abt our culture andf tradition. Appo grandparents irukalaam.. but eppadi kids'kku kathai solli... avanga kuuda jollya thanaiyae marathu time spend pana matum thaan irukanum..

Not like 2.00 I have office.. so let them pick up the kid from school.. morning, I got to leave early, so bath the kid and send them to school. Give breakfast, lunch, dinner to kid.. take care of everything.. NO thats a big NO.. avanga vayasu enna.. how can the couples possibliy think of using them like that right???

Shy

venky1974
12-15-2003, 07:52 PM
So venky even thought theoritically its the duty of both the parents to bring up the kid, most of the responsibility lies in the mothers hands as she spends most of the initial quality time with the kid than the father.


Sri,

Cause of this statement I had to say



Thai paasam vithu kodukumatengle



I hope you would understand.

Venky

Shy
12-15-2003, 08:18 PM
I didnt understand.. First quote in ur post is by me and second u had posted for me or for Sri??? :(

Shy

venky1974
12-15-2003, 08:47 PM
For Sri

sri_gan
12-15-2003, 09:06 PM
For Sri

Shy,

Intha venky naduvule poonthu ethu ethoo sollurapule.. nenga unga vaala edukka vendiyaaathanu nenaikiren...

nenga ketta enakkunu twist adikirappule... amma solliputten... you need to mean it like below...

:lol::lol::lol::lol:

For Shy's Statement to Sri....

butterfly
12-15-2003, 11:42 PM
Its always house wife...atleast the first 5 yrs of a child's life...its good for the child to have her mother stay home...but today more & more women are working...in such situations its good to have atleast the granparents home...so the child wud develop our culture & gets good attention ...


This was my first response...If u read carefully shy I mentioned having grandparents around ...its not for them to provide care..but to provide the attention & care which the mother cant provide while she is working..also who can teach u better our culture than our grandparents



But if u cud have ur parents home...it makes a lot of difference ...it doesnt mean ur passing away ur responsiblity...thats the reason i said its not good to send a kid away to the grandma...coz I do believe a kid shud be raised by both the father & the mother...but If both are working...then It wud be nicer to have granparents home than the child going into day care...but it all depends on the grandparents...coz most of our parents are still working...so its not fair to take them away frm their job for our selfish reasons


I am a person who believe if U can keep a mother happy u can have great kids...that was my first request here in geetham...it was to allow young mothers active membership earlier than others :)....not every mother can afford to stay home...we got to appreciate them too...I know of few women who are supporting the husband's education & raising their child...My sympathy goes to that couple specially the mother...its not her choice that she works...someone can question Y not wait until he finished his studies...It doesnt work all the time ....it depends on the profession one is.....so its not fair to say all mothers shud stay home...we got to analyse the situation....there are so many couples who have their parents home...& yet have a babysitter to care for the kid....try talking to a young mother who is working & had to leave their kid @ the babysitter....u cud see the sadness in her voice If u missed seeing the tears...
There are so many postpartum depression Overseas....its coz the mother comes home straight frm the hospital & goes to the kitchen to cook....thats wat is happening here...so lets not just talk about the situation in India...where there are lot of help...

vedha79
12-16-2003, 06:33 PM
according to me house-wife are the only ones who can take care of the children well. they can only bring up the child well than working mothers. workign mothers can;t look to all needs of a child. all she can do is spend few hours after office. she really won;t know the exact needs of the child. where as a house-wife she atsy wiht the child takes complete care of the child looks to the child's needs n gives all her time n importance to the child.

but mother's are ht eone shwo can mould the child. but i think women/mothers can choose part time working n also concentrate more on children. full working women can;t concentrate og family. after work she too will be tired n exhausted. she cna;t be a supermom mangaing both work n home. either she hsould be house wife until the child grows up to a stage or choose part time jobs.

eg. in u.s. many kids fall easily for bad habits n get out of control cos ther isn't proper attention(love,care etc) for them .this is cos both parents are working. i felel that mother should spend more time with the kid until they grow up !!!!!!!!!!! (house-wife)she is the one who can raise a child better.

venky1974
12-16-2003, 06:47 PM
Some of the comments in this topic is very intresting.

I would like to ask the women member who have made comments in this topic to reply, if they are willing to give up their carreer and look after the child? and if so for how long?

Venky

Shy
12-16-2003, 08:12 PM
This was my first response...If u read carefully shy I mentioned having grandparents around ...its not for them to provide care..but to provide the attention & care which the mother cant provide while she is working..also who can teach u better our culture than our grandparents
[quote]

thats where by point lies butterfly.. how come is that mother not able to provide care and attention.. if shes a single mom or god forbid, widow, divorcee appo ellam its ok and its a must, I totally agree.. the debate we are having here is husband already working and then if a mom works.. how will she take care... ethu thaan.. eppo sollunga.. just to earn more and more money why do we need to miss those precious early stages of our kid?/ is money that important?

[quote]I am a person who believe if U can keep a mother happy u can have great kids...that was my first request here in geetham...it was to allow young mothers active membership earlier than others :)....not every mother can afford to stay home...we got to appreciate them too...I know of few women who are supporting the husband's education & raising their child...

If its really required that the mother had to work then what u say is totally acceptable, that.. its not that she is not staying with her kid,... but she cant and she has to work.,.. to run the family and help her husband.


My sympathy goes to that couple specially the mother...its not her choice that she works...someone can question Y not wait until he finished his studies...It doesnt work all the time ....it depends on the profession one is.....so its not fair to say all mothers shud stay home...we got to analyse the situation....there are so many couples who have their parents home...& yet have a babysitter to care for the kid....try talking to a young mother who is working & had to leave their kid @ the babysitter....u cud see the sadness in her voice If u missed seeing the tears...

Butterfly... the situation u had said is mothers who have no other choice but to work. But there are many.. not even many.. most mothers nowadays who think being housewife is utter waste and its just not a good status to tell outside.. when u go to grocery stores in all supermarkets,pathmarks..kmart. . u will see lotsa mothers working.. I was curious and asked her once.. is she is in finanical trouble or something.. but u know what she answered...

Her 2 years kid is with her friend.. so no childcare money... and shes working her, so that she too can be independent. enna solreenga ethuku. HEr friend nalla poonu nenaikuraen.. may be she has a kid and is taking care i guess.


There are so many postpartum depression Overseas....its coz the mother comes home straight frm the hospital & goes to the kitchen to cook....thats wat is happening here...so lets not just talk about the situation in India...where there are lot of help..

No its not the society's or someone else fault butterfly. its the couples.. they chose to work right.. both of them. So if a mother is working.. then she should resign for initial years like 5-6 years until the kid goes to school.. appuram can start part time again.. but in no way can she give away this precious responsibility whoever it is.. - grandparents or child care and strt working immediately after 1 year of the child birth. its simply ridiculous.

Shy

butterfly
12-17-2003, 12:54 AM
Venky wrote,


Some of the comments in this topic is very intresting.

I would like to ask the women member who have made comments in this topic to reply, if they are willing to give up their carreer and look after the child? and if so for how long?

Venky


Good question Venky...It depends on the profession one is....there are some profession in which u have to put in certain hrs with 5 yrs...so for ppl in that profession they cud start working part-time may be after 3 yrs ...enough to put in those hrs to keep up with the profession...but for others It wud be good if they cud stay home unless circumstamces force them to work due to financial burden

shy wrote,


So if a mother is working.. then she should resign for initial years like 5-6 years until the kid goes to school.. appuram can start part time again.. but in no way can she give away this precious responsibility whoever it is.. - grandparents or child care and strt working immediately after 1 year of the child birth. its simply ridiculous

shy,
My above statement shud answer ur question ...it all depends on the situation one is...But I agree with u...that mothers shudnt be giving away kids to daycare...coz they want extra money ...I dont believe in that...I am against that....leaving ur kid with a friend or ur husband for few mins to take a break frm home is ok...but not working to get away frm the responsiblity of raising a kid

Minik
12-20-2003, 02:52 AM
butterfly wrote:
"I dont think its good idea to send kids away frm parents to grandma's place...was talking more living together...which side depends on the situation...coz most grandparents are working too...so whoever is able to live with the family u bring them "

butterfly what if both grandparents are retired and healthy and both wants to come and stay with the kid, and if the parents can't bring both grandparents together then what do you do? so, its better that you don't bring anybody but you look after the kid by the mother staying home, yes there would be financial difficulties when only one person is working but you may have to sacrifice a lot when you decide to raise the kid staying home. and I agree with venky, in saying that grand parents have already had lot of work in bringing us now is the time they should rest and we should not put our burden on them. Its nice that our parents come and stay with us and we take care of them, but then even when they are there with you its best that mothers stay home with the kid and take care of the kids needs till they go to school. after that as shy said they can work part-time. it would be difficult for the first 5 years but we have to adjust to many things. Adjustment makes life easier. If mother wants time-off she could go to the shopping mall for couple of hours when the father is home. This is my opinion.

sri_gan
12-20-2003, 02:56 AM
If mother wants time-off she could go to the shopping mall for couple of hours when the father is home. This is my opinion.


Enna kindal pannurengala Minik?

Ungalukku time off naa shopping seri, shopping poitu vanthu onnum panna mudiyalai ore tired ... ithu eppadi time off aga mudiyum...?

Enna geetham, naan kekurathu corrite thane?

butterfly
12-20-2003, 03:00 AM
butterfly what if both grandparents are retired and healthy and both wants to come and stay with the kid, and if the parents can't bring both grandparents together then what do you do?


This is a different issue here Minik...if they are retired & if they are healthy & wants to come...it shows their eagerness & their love for their grandchild...to tell u the truth...i think it wud be a great idea to have them both...that way they have company....when u go for outing more the merrier :)...provided they get along & probably u can send them to tour places...since u said they are healthy if ur finances wudnt allow ur hus,u & ur kid to go with them

I always support mother staying home...but certain situations i know they cant...I know my mom cudnt...but she never deprived us kids of anything...thgh we did miss her when she was @ work...it gave us more time to bond with dad...to play with him & have fun

Minik
12-20-2003, 03:05 AM
This is a different issue here Minik...if they are retired & if they are healthy & wants to come...it shows their eagerness & their love for their grandchild...to tell u the truth...i think it wud be a great idea to have them both...that way they have company....when u go for outing more the merrier ...provided they get along & probably u can send them to tour places...since u said they are healthy if ur finances wudnt allow ur hus,u & ur kid to go with them


butterfly I agree with you to bring the grandparents with us and take them to tour, but if your finances does'nt allow to bring both the grandparents at the same time then what do you do? and if you bring only one grandparent then the other would be sad? so in this situation (finance situation) what do u do? how do u bring both grand parents

sri_gan
12-20-2003, 03:06 AM
Minik,

Athelam irrukattum, naan ketta kelvikku pathil sollungooo...

butterfly
12-20-2003, 03:07 AM
minik,
then u explain to them...probably they wud understand...since its only one person working...

mini inge enna panreengo??...exams ellam mudichitu vango....we are here....we miss u too...but studies come first

Minik
12-20-2003, 03:08 AM
Enna kindal pannurengala Minik?

Ungalukku time off naa shopping seri, shopping poitu vanthu onnum panna mudiyalai ore tired ... ithu eppadi time off aga mudiyum...?


sri, mothers konju time off ke shopping ponalum thirubi vanthu avagulude kuzathai partheunden ella tiredness poyividum. apprum avange kuzathaiyode needs parpargal. ithe ennude sonthe experienceal than solren.

sri_gan
12-20-2003, 03:10 AM
sri, mothers konju time off ke shopping ponalum thirubi vanthu avagulude kuzathai partheunden ella tiredness poyividum. apprum avange kuzathaiyode needs parpargal. ithe ennude sonthe experienceal than solren


Naan nenga sollurathai mattum ethukka mudiyathu... I want to check with some married guys also .. like Iyanaar, avangalukku than reality therium...

butterfly
12-20-2003, 04:45 PM
Naan nenga sollurathai mattum ethukka mudiyathu... I want to check with some married guys also .. like Iyanaar, avangalukku than reality therium...


sri,
anainar than sonare somewhere...he comes home & as soon as he hears his kid go goo goo ga ga...all his tiredness is gone & he feels refreshednu :)

sri_gan
12-20-2003, 04:48 PM
sri,
anainar than sonare somewhere...he comes home & as soon as he hears his kid go goo goo ga ga...all his tiredness is gone & he feels refreshednu :D


Intha topic le iyanaar enna sollurarnu paka vendama??? Athuvum specifica, ella married women 'um for taking their tiredness off goint to shopping nu...

Avanga shopping poitu vantha pinnadi Iyanaar patta avasthai enna nu avar sonnathane therium, athukku than. :yes:

Shy
12-20-2003, 05:37 PM
Sri... just imagine as married housewife. shes all day long inside a house looking after the family.. justa day or too. she wants to go outsied and its correct right? appo can u take her to LA, SFO or all hifi places each time.. outside just for relaxing pooganum'na where they can go sollunga.. mallskku poolaam.. so whats that u cant accept in this..

imagine urself in their shoes.. appo theriyumm outside poorathuna.. hoe realxed and comfortable it will be'nu..

full flow padikalai.. but read few and answering this ..

Shy

sri_gan
12-20-2003, 05:42 PM
Shy Aunty,

Naan appadi ellam vithanda vatham ellam pannalai... Mic Maami oru suggestion koduthu irrukanga.. athavathu relaxing naa 2 hrs shopping nu... shopping poitu vanthu naturally tired aiyruvanga athu eppadi relaxing a irruka mudium nu kekkuren.

Ithu thappa?

butterfly
12-20-2003, 06:23 PM
Mic Maami oru suggestion koduthu irrukanga.. athavathu relaxing naa 2 hrs shopping nu..


Sri,
nan eppo sonen??... :think: ...adhu Minik sonango

sri_gan
12-20-2003, 06:28 PM
Mic Maami oru suggestion koduthu irrukanga.. athavathu relaxing naa 2 hrs shopping nu..


Sri,
nan eppo sonen??... :think: ...adhu Minik sonango

Seri etho oru maami sonnango... nenga support pannunengalonu...

:lol: ippadiya Minik Maami yee matti viduvenga?

butterfly
12-20-2003, 06:31 PM
Seri etho oru maami sonnango... nenga support pannunengalonu...

ippadiya Minik Maami yee matti viduvenga?


sri,
will support Minik if she finds it relaxing...I hate shopping...so I might choose someother way to relax...but I do agree women sitting @ home do need a break :)

sWEEtmICHe
12-21-2003, 11:24 AM
Thai paasam vithu kodukumatengle :D :D :D
Venky
Enna kindala? :oops: :oops: Ithula vittu kodukka vittu kodukama irruka enna irruku...
Ippo nenga eppadi irrukengalo.. appadi than unga pillaingalum irrukum... thats a fact.. illainu sollunga pakalam.
hey fRIENDs,
well I agreed with u sri....,100%
thanks for all the contribution and comments!!
wow great...... :fight:
just think.....how can this be solved>> big problem<<
it is still a ? mark......and even no professional answer or help...,
daily parents especially the mothers are been affected,
if u wanna a smooth way both {husband and wife}.
needs alot of sacrifices....compromise,than atleast some solution.or else
it will lead to women even though ,educated still have to be housewife,
and all her talent wasted, their parents chip in.... helping to look after when {both} parents at work, as sri says pamper and spoiled them,agreed with u....or letting in child care centres, well how can these will be solved where parents hardly spend time with kids,in rasing them.....
well silican,shy, king ,venky,butterfly,vedha,minik.. ..thank u ma fREINDs..very well ur point of view...keep up!!.......to be con't
thanks
gOODAy :wink: