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sWEEtmICHe
12-14-2003, 11:30 PM
Why do woman left behind for ideas!!
If any suggestion construct in a family,
women’s idea been pushed away?
Any comments...plzz discuss!!



thank u
gOODAy :wink:

silican
12-14-2003, 11:47 PM
Sweetmiche,
particular'aa endha madhiri situation'nu sollunga. In general I dont think women's voice are supressed these days.may be in older days it was true.

Silican

Shy
12-15-2003, 12:24 AM
hey nice topic.. will get started on this monday...

Shy

sri_gan
12-15-2003, 02:22 PM
This is not really true nowadays...

Like silican said please be specific miche so that we can bring more points

arumugam57
12-15-2003, 03:00 PM
women’s idea been pushed away?

Yaar sonnathu...
Ippa paaru.. Namma Shy Aunty "Madhu" maathiri sinna pasangalap paarthu "elei.. summa irudaa" nu oru sound vitta pothumm.... Mathu..Kammunu Poototam okkanthukuvaple..

Shy rules the geetham forums..

Shy
12-15-2003, 04:40 PM
Yaar sonnathu...
Ippa paaru.. Namma Shy Aunty "Madhu" maathiri sinna pasangalap paarthu "elei.. summa irudaa" nu oru sound vitta pothumm.... Mathu..Kammunu Poototam okkanthukuvaple..

Shy rules the geetham forums..

Side Track only:

Arumugaaaaaaaaam... flight ticket book pannitaen.. solli solli inne onnum nadakaathunu therinchu poiduthu.. vanthu delhi'la udaykuraen ungalai..

Paati, paatikku paati, aunty, maami.. yaen yevalavu nalla names ellam irukku kupida..
Ms., Friend, sari athuvum vaendaam.. thangachi.. ellaina... Miss..
ethu ellam vitudunga.. Aunty, maami mattum sollunga :evil: :evil: :evil:

Madhu is my favorite thambi mathiri.. naan yaen kathanum avarai sollunga? ;) ellai madhu..

To the main Subject:

Women's Idea being Ignored is true partially.. but not always. As silican and sri asked.. it depends on the situation. For few "no-important" decisions, husbands allow the wives themselves to handle it and take care of the situation. like interior decoration, household stuff, etc.

The mutual decision matters are on like housing, buying some car or something, helping financially some relatives etc. Appo husbands sure ask their wives.. but appavum final decision will be theirs not their wives.

Example. Husband'ooda amma side cousinkku 50 Grand thaeivai padrathunu vachupoom. When he asks. Wife will look if they can repay it back and if not, she will say, vaendaam. but husband cant accept it because antha sidela his mom would have promised to get the money from her sone and give it to them. So entha mathiri situationsla sure womens ideas will be pushed away.

More to come

Shy

silican
12-15-2003, 04:59 PM
Example. Husband'ooda amma side cousinkku 50 Grand thaeivai padrathunu vachupoom. When he asks. Wife will look if they can repay it back and if not, she will say, vaendaam. but husband cant accept it because antha sidela his mom would have promised to get the money from her sone and give it to them. So entha mathiri situationsla sure womens ideas will be pushed away.
appdi paathalum, ths GUY has to take his mom's advice who is another woman..right'a ? kandippa wife illaati akka,thangachi,perimma,amma,ne enga sonna madhiri paatikku paati appuram mukkiyama AUNTY...ivanga ellarum ponnunga dhane ? ivanga views will play a major role in decision making.adhanala family matters'la I dont completely agree that a Woman's idea/suggestion is supressed.




Madhu is my favorite thambi mathiri.. naan yaen kathanum avarai sollunga? ;) ellai madhu..

Madhooo...Madhu kannna..Chellam illa....Odi vada Raaja..Akka unakku balli muttaai vangi vachikittu koopidaraanga paaru..



Silican

sri_gan
12-15-2003, 05:11 PM
Example. Husband'ooda amma side cousinkku 50 Grand thaeivai padrathunu vachupoom. When he asks. Wife will look if they can repay it back and if not, she will say, vaendaam. but husband cant accept it because antha sidela his mom would have promised to get the money from her sone and give it to them. So entha mathiri situationsla sure womens ideas will be pushed away.


Ammam seri, appo wife oda thambikku oru laptop venum he is going to us for studies nu kettaka.. husband wife oda thambi antha laptop le ore Operating System ezhuthi akka husbandkku oru copy free license a kodkuporanakkum nu vendam nu sonna....

Wife kettupangala? Iyaanaar and vennai, inga ungala maari alunga guidance koncham thevai... nenga than anbuvasthargal....

Narasus kappi mari oru shottu shottungo....

Shy
12-15-2003, 06:51 PM
Athaan solraen sri and silican...
A guy knows that if he starts listening to one woman, it will start unnesscary problems.. so entha mathiri more than one woman involved decision'a he usually takes the decision himself.

Naan sola varathu between husband and wife alone.Say they are planing to buy a house. A guy will leave the decision to wife only for the following simple matters. For others its his decision

Wife's decision

(1) Interior decorations
(2) Color - that too will be mutual only later
(3) tiles color etc

Husband's decision

(1) Budget - Even thou wife's working
(2) Location
(3) Floor details, number of rooms etc

Ippo think panni sollunga.
Shy

anainar
12-15-2003, 07:38 PM
Appaada, ippo thaan Geetham family is full of sisters and brothers. Madhu, vanthu muttai sapititu ponga. Illati shy akka scale vaichu manikattailayay adikkum.:wink: Nice one Shy. I really liked the spirit. "Shy akka rules Geetham Forum."

Well, on the topic, women take their decisions by their heart rather than head generally. That is the reason, Shy makes statements like house color to be decided by wife, and finances by husband. For that matter many women dont even understand what is APR or interest rates and how they can benefit a housing loan or the tax implications. So they stay away from all these. For that matter you dont see many women in money market, while they flood interior design, front office or fashion design. It might be because of evolution and may be in another 100 years this might change. For now, women's decision on money matters are to be ignored. Whether it is sister/mom/wife. Give them money that you want to save. But keep the investment decisions and money matters in your hand. Other aspects, women'd decision are counted these days. They are much more assertive these days.

Cheers.

sri_gan
12-15-2003, 07:42 PM
Vanga Yaanaar,

Geetham oda vaalu (tail) nu shy akka vukku peru vachirrukom... nalla sonnenga sharp a APR pathi..:ee:

Pathil varum parunga innum koncha nerathula... kaloparama irrukum...

I can't wait to see yaannaar putting his head in front of somthin... romba naal aachu ithai parthu...

madhu_aish1
12-15-2003, 07:44 PM
Pure Side Track:



Madhu is my favorite thambi mathiri.. naan yaen kathanum avarai sollunga? ellai madhu..

athu enna thambi mathiri.. kaasu potu kadailaa vanguneengala.. :ee: :ee: :ee: :ee: .. grrrrrr seiyatheengaaa.... akka-va oottta veraa yaaraa otturathu..paasathula nakkitenaaaa... :D . cha ennoda akka's list erkitae poguthu .. sight list koraithu... :sm12: :sm12: :sm12: :sm12: ...

BTW madhu and Shy :sm15: :sm15: :sm15: :sm15: :sm15: alll faces of 6face..

Shy
12-15-2003, 08:15 PM
Appaada, ippo thaan Geetham family is full of sisters and brothers. Madhu, vanthu muttai sapititu ponga. Illati shy akka scale vaichu manikattailayay adikkum.:wink: Nice one Shy. I really liked the spirit. "Shy akka rules Geetham Forum."

Well, on the topic, women take their decisions by their heart rather than head generally. That is the reason, Shy makes statements like house color to be decided by wife, and finances by husband. For that matter many women dont even understand what is APR or interest rates and how they can benefit a housing loan or the tax implications. So they stay away from all these. For that matter you dont see many women in money market, while they flood interior design, front office or fashion design. It might be because of evolution and may be in another 100 years this might change. For now, women's decision on money matters are to be ignored. Whether it is sister/mom/wife. Give them money that you want to save. But keep the investment decisions and money matters in your hand. Other aspects, women'd decision are counted these days. They are much more assertive these days.

Cheers.

Anainar,

Side Track : Welcome back. Hope u had a nice time back in India. Visa problem ellam solved and family back here'a. enne nalla sapidalaam neenga.. athunaal dont forget my cooking section. appo appo vaanga.

Main Track : I agree to anainar with the fact that in ceratin areas women are best and in certain men are. anainar, APR pathi neenga soli erukeenga..... many wives dont know how to match the APR with different banks and make it profitable. Then when to do refinancing.. like that...

But naan kaekuraen.. when u guys started to look for a house.. how many guys know everything from how to finance and get a loan.

Ellamae u find it from friends and net - About.com


appo I dont find any reason why u need to reject a womans idea on this. when u are learning something anew.. u can always learn together and make her understand too.

but u guys are actors.. unga ego edam kudukaathu.. what u do.. u learn that thru friends and net at office.. appuram veetula vanthu.. yaethoo born genius mathiri u explain her and she too will think.. oh he knows a lot more than me.. so why should we letnnu summa iruppa...u acting profitable completed...

Rendu paerum saenthu decide panunga.. she will be a valuable manthiri to u.. will give u lots of advices.. but enna..if she knows a lot...at times..unga bad decisions ellam point out pannuva.. appuram unganaala thaanga mudiayaathu... thats the reason u never allow her into ur territory u know..

More to come

Shy

sri_gan
12-15-2003, 09:19 PM
Pure Side Track:



Madhu is my favorite thambi mathiri.. naan yaen kathanum avarai sollunga? ellai madhu..

athu enna thambi mathiri.. kaasu potu kadailaa vanguneengala.. :ee: :ee: :ee: :ee: .. grrrrrr seiyatheengaaa.... akka-va oottta veraa yaaraa otturathu..paasathula nakkitenaaaa... :D . cha ennoda akka's list erkitae poguthu .. sight list koraithu... :sm12: :sm12: :sm12: :sm12: ...

BTW madhu and Shy :sm15: :sm15: :sm15: :sm15: :sm15: alll faces of 6face..

Pure Side track::::

:lol::lol::lol::lol::lol::lol: Rakki anniki un kaaai le idame irrukathu.... ellam kavura irrukum...

madhu_aish1
12-15-2003, 09:23 PM
Pure Side track::::

:lol::lol::lol::lol::lol::lol: Rakki anniki un kaaai le idame irrukathu.... ellam kavura irrukum...

Pure Side track::::
athu kooda byamaa illaaa.. purse-la weight koranchidu-moo than byamaa eruku... :lol: :lol: :lol:

anainar
12-15-2003, 09:44 PM
Shy,

Trip was good and there was no problem with the visa at all. Since me and my wife had visas already, it was a piece of cake. I just made a monster out of a mole hill, considering that I am dealing with the extremely paranoid US immigration and there are some sensible guys too. :wink:

On the main topic, it is not that we go and tell our wives the we know everything. Somethings dont appeal to them at all and money matters is one among them. They are eternally happy about shopping but when it comes to investment or money management, they are no where near men. You can involve them in monthly budgeting, but not in managing the savings for a better return.

For e.g, I had set a financial goal for myself on retirement and am striving towards that. My wife does not botherabout that at all. For her, immediate necessities are more important than a long term goal. This is a general mentality of women. There may be exceptions, but my experience as well as surveys and presence of women in financial sector proves this. So, dont blame that guys are ego centric and fiercely territorial. We dont guard our territory, it is just that you women dont bother to enter our territory.

Cheers.

vasan
12-15-2003, 09:48 PM
Shy,

Trip was good and there was no problem with the visa at all. Since me and my wife had visas already, it was a piece of cake. I just made a monster out of a mole hill, considering that I am dealing with the extremely paranoid US immigration and there are some sensible guys too. :wink:

On the main topic, it is not that we go and tell our wives the we know everything. Somethings dont appeal to them at all and money matters is one among them. They are eternally happy about shopping but when it comes to investment or money management, they are no where near men. You can involve them in monthly budgeting, but not in managing the savings for a better return.

For e.g, I had set a financial goal for myself on retirement and am striving towards that. My wife does not botherabout that at all. For her, immediate necessities are more important than a long term goal. This is a general mentality of women. There may be exceptions, but my experience as well as surveys and presence of women in financial sector proves this. So, dont blame that guys are ego centric and fiercely territorial. We dont guard our territory, it is just that you women dont bother to enter our territory.

Cheers.

Welcome back, Anainar... Kutti payan sowkiyama.. ?

Just wanted to add a quick note of welcome.. Will write more on this topic awhile later..

butterfly
12-16-2003, 12:10 AM
For e.g, I had set a financial goal for myself on retirement and am striving towards that. My

wife does not botherabout that at all. For her, immediate necessities are more important than a long term goal. This is a general mentality of women. There may be exceptions, but my experience as well as surveys and presence of women in financial sector proves this. So, dont blame that guys are ego centric and fiercely territorial. We dont guard our territory, it is just that you women dont bother to enter our territory.


Welcome back anainar...hope ur family is with u now :) especially the little man :)...thats wat they like to be called by 2 :)

now coming to the point...I think women think more about reirement than men ...coz they got to outlive their husband...coz research also proves women outlive their husband :)...but truly women get more involved in financial matter...may not be that obvious coz once they show they are interested men wud put that responsiblity on them ;)...so its best to play innocent :)

Shy
12-16-2003, 01:50 AM
Shy,

Trip was good and there was no problem with the visa at all. Since me and my wife had visas already, it was a piece of cake. I just made a monster out of a mole hill, considering that I am dealing with the extremely paranoid US immigration and there are some sensible guys too. :wink:

On the main topic, it is not that we go and tell our wives the we know everything. Somethings dont appeal to them at all and money matters is one among them. They are eternally happy about shopping but when it comes to investment or money management, they are no where near men. You can involve them in monthly budgeting, but not in managing the savings for a better return.

For e.g, I had set a financial goal for myself on retirement and am striving towards that. My wife does not botherabout that at all. For her, immediate necessities are more important than a long term goal. This is a general mentality of women. There may be exceptions, but my experience as well as surveys and presence of women in financial sector proves this. So, dont blame that guys are ego centric and fiercely territorial. We dont guard our territory, it is just that you women dont bother to enter our territory.

Cheers.

Great.. so appo kutti paiyaa ellarum sugamnnu nenaikuraen.. convey my hug to ur kutti paiyaa..

Back to subject :

No I cant accept that money matters is no appeal to them. They arent into it, because , like in other cases, u arent interested in knowing her ideas in this and even if shes volunteers a time or two, u dont consider it.. so it got faded away as time goes by. Avalvu thaan. Then she stops giving u ideas.

U know more than men, women thaan retirment enna panrathu.. what type of chits poodalaam.. engae poodalaam.. appadinu think panni.. they do something.. u might be saving something.. but she might have her own piggy bank u know. u will never know abt that until u are in real need. appo she will help u..

Guyskku oru normal flow'a save pana thaan theriyum(banks, stocks, bonds).. but girls eppadi kuduthaalum they save. as rupees. as jewels.. as chits.. post office deposit.. bank deposit etc. Also if u think .finally unga wife ooda input ellama u would have never made ur retirement plan.. because without u knowing she giving her input and makes sure thats followed ;).


For e.g, I had set a financial goal for myself on retirement and am striving towards that. My wife does not botherabout that at all. For her, immediate necessities are more important than a long term goal. This is a general mentality of women.

This is the first time I am hearing this u know.. Mostly ellarukum whats going to happen.. enna enna savings.. indiala enga invest panalaam.. enga settle aalaam.. what we will do in our old days.. ella wiveskkum theriyum. they know that from their husband.. discuss.. come to some mutual decision on that. I can never accept that girls are short sighted in their life.. no never.. u know how many girls plan 20 years ahead for their kids education, marriage.. their retirement.. what to do with money etc. :)


So, dont blame that guys are ego centric and fiercely territorial. We dont guard our territory, it is just that you women dont bother to enter our territory.

We dont bother that terriority because we arent appreciated for our inputs and are always degraded that our ideas might not be valuable ;)

Shy

vedha79
12-16-2003, 06:17 PM
heh i think nowdays women take part equally in decision making. in maried life husband asks for wife's decision and she too decides lots of things.women decides about finance,buying things,and lots.... even in having a child. i don't thats womens ideas are supressed. take any other case is schools colleges etc girs ideas are accepted. girsl/ women ideas area accepted all around nowdays. women give good n useful opinions n ideas that they get accepted.

if ideas or opinions are good sure anyoen will take it. eg. take geetham there are lots of women/girls who give their opinions n ideas n geetham is taking it. apply this concept for the bigger society. in older genration women were supressed including their thoughts ideas n opinions. now its not like that. eg. take shy she gave some opinions regarding the cooking section and iot was accepted n aprreciated by all. like this there are lots of people in geetham n in most of the socities.

Shy
12-16-2003, 07:27 PM
heh i think nowdays women take part equally in decision making. in maried life husband asks for wife's decision and she too decides lots of things.women decides about finance,buying things,and lots.... even in having a child. i don't thats womens ideas are supressed. take any other case is schools colleges etc girs ideas are accepted. girsl/ women ideas area accepted all around nowdays. women give good n useful opinions n ideas that they get accepted.

if ideas or opinions are good sure anyoen will take it. eg. take geetham there are lots of women/girls who give their opinions n ideas n geetham is taking it. apply this concept for the bigger society. in older genration women were supressed including their thoughts ideas n opinions. now its not like that. eg. take shy she gave some opinions regarding the cooking section and iot was accepted n aprreciated by all. like this there are lots of people in geetham n in most of the socities.

Vedha... that was a good one u pointed abt cooking section ;)..

But not considering the society.. think abt the family.. many husbands... dont even care to give the information like how much APR, loan type or for that matter any financial issues to their wives. Bringing up a child is ok, obviously her input is valid. The point I am telling is main critical decisions ellam they take by themselves... anainair topic padinga.. avar ladies are nt interested so we dont say solraar.. but the actual fact is no husband is ready to sit with his wife and discuss any finanical issue, because

(1) he thinks she isnt smart enough to understand that - if its a housewife or working one
(2) he thinks its his responsiblity and she has not need to know any of that.

Eppadi naraiyaa solalaam.

Vedha think this... a couple planning to get home. Assume shes a housewife.. but still from friends and net knowledge know abt loaing etc. So when a start looking.. the guy do u think will expect her to give inputs on how to refinance?, which bank to get etc???? eppadi rooms vaennum.. kitchen eppadi irukanum..island kitchen vaennumma..fridge eppadi irukanumnnu .. entha mathiri thaan he expects u to give inputs right.. athaan yaennu kaekuraen..

Shy

venky1974
12-16-2003, 07:41 PM
but the actual fact is no husband is ready to sit with his wife and discuss any finanical issue, because

(1) he thinks she isnt smart enough to understand that - if its a housewife or working one
(2) he thinks its his responsiblity and she has not need to know any of that.


Shy,

Why do you think this way? please look at it from a guy's point of view.

" The guy is already having trouble sourcing ( Finance or other things pertaining to the issue) and would it really help the guy with his problems? I do agree that woman can also do their fair bit in finding out through friends and the net about stuff but ultimately its the responsibility of the man to come out with the solution. The reason I am saying this is becasue:

If things go wrong, ppl will point fingers at the man and not the woman,even if the inputs were taken from the wife/woman. The finger gets pointed at us.

Girls are married away to the guy becasue he is good/ financially secured/has a good job etc... one thing of these go wrong all hell breaks loose. Can a guy get away saying that I took the inputs from the wife/woman and this is how it hapened and then they will say.."onnoda budhi enge pochu"

Please fill me in if I am wrong

venky

anainar
12-17-2003, 04:21 PM
Shy,

Kutti paiyan is good. Except he sleeps in the day time and keeps us busy in the night. It will be two weeks before he gets to the US timings. Till then tough times for us. But his smiles and gooo gaaa gaaa babbling makes us forget everything.

Naan kooda ennamo nenaichen. Neenga ennadanna still talking about chit funds and piggy banks. See, women seem to be caught in a time warp, still believing chit funds/piggy bank/post office is for retirement. Inga US la irukkira neengalay( well educated, travelled across the globe ) ippadi sonna, how about ordinary women in India? Those days are gone Shy. Ithellam kathaikku aavathu. Ithai thaan sonnen, women dont think about financial matters. When I am talking about portfolio giving a return of 24% in stocks, and if my wife comes and tells me to invest in post office giving 8% return, tell me which sane guy will accept that decision? Get real Shy madame!!!

And women are more impulsive shoppers than men. It is a proven fact. They might be able to 10% but will also spend 20% on useless items. On that 10% they will get a return of 8%. Men with the same 10% will get a return of 24% but dont spend that 20% extra. Ithukku enna solreenga?

Cheers.

Shy
12-17-2003, 04:45 PM
" The guy is already having trouble sourcing ( Finance or other things pertaining to the issue) and would it really help the guy with his problems? I do agree that woman can also do their fair bit in finding out through friends and the net about stuff but ultimately its the responsibility of the man to come out with the solution. The reason I am saying this is becasue:

If things go wrong, ppl will point fingers at the man and not the woman,even if the inputs were taken from the wife/woman. The finger gets pointed at us.

Girls are married away to the guy becasue he is good/ financially secured/has a good job etc... one thing of these go wrong all hell breaks loose. Can a guy get away saying that I took the inputs from the wife/woman and this is how it hapened and then they will say.."onnoda budhi enge pochu"

Venky... No u guys just cant hide with this reason ;) nalla irukae.. We are saying that atleast give ears to our ideas, opinions. Appuram decision analayse panrapoo, engalaum saethu mutual'la discuss pannunga.. appo wherever u feel somethign might go wrong in ur wife opinion, point out.

Athai vitutu.. kaeta , might get into problem later.. so no'nu solrathai i wont accept...

Eppo sollunga.. mutual'la utkaaravachu paesurathula enna thappu??

Shy

Shy
12-17-2003, 05:05 PM
Kutti paiyan is good. Except he sleeps in the day time and keeps us busy in the night. It will be two weeks before he gets to the US timings. Till then tough times for us. But his smiles and gooo gaaa gaaa babbling makes us forget everything.

Thats the magic of the little ones i guess. make us forget all the pain. Enjoy each and every moment with him. My simple advice..paavam kid.. its sleeping'nu mornign times'lanu dont allow.. its not good for his health'aam... keep him active in the morning.. give him lot of water. Kashtama thaan irukkum, but keep him awake. Doctors say if u give him warm water at times contiously in the morning he will be active and awake.. afternoon nap, then evening nalla play panatum.. then nightla thoongavaiyunga...if u do this for a day or two.. he will be great in the days to come and no more troubling u guys at night :)


Naan kooda ennamo nenaichen. Neenga ennadanna still talking about chit funds and piggy banks. See, women seem to be caught in a time warp, still believing chit funds/piggy bank/post office is for retirement. Inga US la irukkira neengalay( well educated, travelled across the globe ) ippadi sonna, how about ordinary women in India? Those days are gone Shy.

No neenga ennum understand panalainnu nenaikuraen.. I am not just talking abt women here.. engae enga irukku chits and piggy banks.. I am talking abt women in India... where even though she doenst know abt stocks, bonds.. still she will find some way to say like - chits appadinu sola varaen.. The point is here mentality to do somethign for her family and save. athu thaan. India'laiyae appadi saiyuraangana.. When she comes abroad, obviously she will have a broad view of the world and will sure know a bit more than those ladies.. so ava kita neenga suggestions, ideas kaeurathula enna thappunu kaekuraen.


Ithellam kathaikku aavathu. Ithai thaan sonnen, women dont think about financial matters. When I am talking about portfolio giving a return of 24% in stocks, and if my wife comes and tells me to invest in post office giving 8% return, tell me which sane guy will accept that decision? Get real Shy madame!!!

Enkitayaevaa.. ;) athaan solraenna.. ur wife eppo thaanae vanthu irukaanga.. paarunga.. within few months.. ungalooda if she get time thou.. if u sit and talk to her and let her know how the market works.. daily avangalai stocks paathu enthu best athu best'nu soluvaanga..

If u were in india in some southern city, working for some 9-5 government job.. appo unga thinking itself will be narrowed.. appo ui will think only abt post office and chits.. Ur life is broadnened and so is the thinking

I have seen many ladies like this .. Shes justa 12th pass. enga vanthu when her husband started buying stocks.. eveningla he explained her at times... how to see, etc etc..
Eppo ellam, when he goes to office.. taanu, 9.00clock she watches the market.. analayses and give some inputs to her husband, theriyumma.. thats were I am going.. one initiation iruntha.. they will sure do great.

eppo sollunga.. ;)

Shy

venky1974
12-17-2003, 06:28 PM
I have seen many ladies like this .. Shes justa 12th pass. enga vanthu when her husband started buying stocks.. eveningla he explained her at times... how to see, etc etc..


Enna Shy, I don't think that my wife could help me with instrumentation and controls system ... What I am trying to say is that it really depends if the woman takes the intrest in learning where she thinks she can help. I am sure that 12 pass girl must be a Accounts
grad.

I think in this generation guys do give ears to the women in the house for their opinions or suggestions.

Ego also has a play in these things, sometimes its the male ego not taking the suggestion from her and some times its the female ego that dominates the male ego to take her decesion. No one is perfect.

If both sit down and have rounds and rounds of discussion on what decesion to take, it may get too late. Men do make mistakes when they take a decesion and that is where they learn and this learing cuve will make them to listen to others opinions and vice versa.

My understanding here is that in this generation of ppl, its more of a collective decesion. Make a poll and see how may take decesions on their own and how many take collective decesions and reason for their poll in short. I am sure we will get a stable answer there.

Venky

Shy
12-17-2003, 06:37 PM
Enna Shy, I don't think that my wife could help me with instrumentation and controls system ... What I am trying to say is that it really depends if the woman takes the intrest in learning where she thinks she can help. I am sure that 12 pass girl must be a Accounts
grad.

Ethu nalla irukku. Instrumentation and control system BEpadichavangaelae thadavanum.. ethula unga wife eppadi help pannuvaa? she can only in places where she can. kindal panreenga. vita.. vanthu code yaeluthi kuda solluveenga poola irukae ;).

what i meant was these financial issues are no big deal once we come to know that part of the world. so got to give her the chance'nu sola vaenthaen. okvaa?


If both sit down and have rounds and rounds of discussion on what decesion to take, it may get too late. Men do make mistakes when they take a decesion and that is where they learn and this learing cuve will make them to listen to others opinions and vice versa.

My understanding here is that in this generation of ppl, its more of a collective decesion. Make a poll and see how may take decesions on their own and how many take collective decesions and reason for their poll in short. I am sure we will get a stable answer there.

Ethu thaan solraen venky.. couples should just sit and mutually decide on what they can do and what they are comfortable with.athai vitutu.. as such u can disregard someone thinking they might not be fit.

Shy

silican
12-17-2003, 06:44 PM
Thats a valid point. Instrumentation and Control Engineer wifekku Instrumentation therinjirukkanummnu edhir paaka koodadhu..BTW naanum BE Instrumentation dhan.. :wink:



Yengada...Innikku Aunty'a innikku aala kaanomennu paathen...Vandhuttengala ? naan escape...

Shy
12-17-2003, 06:48 PM
shy :sm17: :sm13: :sm17: :sm13: :sm17: :sm13: :sm17: :sm13: :sm17: :sm13: silican

Shy

sri_gan
12-17-2003, 06:54 PM
what i meant was these financial issues are no big deal once we come to know that part of the world. so got to give her the chance'nu sola vaenthaen. okvaa?


Allam serithangooo SHY... ponnungalukku eppavume finance is not a big deal enbathu therincha visheyam than... appadi illaina innikki world ethukku ivalo varities of things for women irruku?

Enna naan sollurathu correct thane aunty?

Seri nenga ethukku ippa silican kathukula goinu kathureenga....

venky1974
12-17-2003, 06:56 PM
Ethu thaan solraen venky.. couples should just sit and mutually decide on what they can do and what they are comfortable with.athai vitutu.. as such u can disregard someone thinking they might not be fit.


Shy, I agree as I said above and your statement too. I would like to quote one thing here that when ppl get married( South Indian tradition and i am sure others too) the seven steps that both take, The first step is very important and the meaning of this first step is here below:

Bridegroom:
My beloved, our love has become firm by your walking one step with me. Together we will share the responsibilities of the home, food and finances. May God bless us with noble children to share. May they live long.

Bride:

This is my commitment to you, my lord. Together we will share the responsibility of the home, food and finances. I promise that I shall discharge all of my share of the responsibilities for the welfare of the family and the children.

This is only possible if all decesions are taken collectively.

Venky

Shy
12-17-2003, 07:02 PM
super poongo.. kalakeeteenga...

Shy

meenaram
12-18-2003, 02:00 PM
Hi SHY I like the way you are presenting things, ideas and suggestions. Hope everyone like SHY's ideas and the way she is presenting things.

Then who said woman's idea always pushed away.

Keep it up SHY.

sri_gan
12-18-2003, 02:42 PM
Hi SHY I like the way you are presenting things, ideas and suggestions. Hope everyone like SHY's ideas and the way she is presenting things.

Then who said woman's idea always pushed away.

Keep it up SHY.

Fish... ungal Fish,

Nenga vancha pugalchi meenava?

:lol::lol::lol::lol::lol::lol: :lol::lol:

SHY yee ethura mari ethi... Women's Ideas ellam yaarum push pannurathu illai nu thane sollurenga...corrite romba corrite

:ee:

shysumi
12-18-2003, 02:47 PM
'சொயிஸ்' உங்கள் 'சொயிஸ்,...உங கள் கையில்

:P :ahha:

Shy
12-18-2003, 02:58 PM
Hi SHY I like the way you are presenting things, ideas and suggestions. Hope everyone like SHY's ideas and the way she is presenting things.

Then who said woman's idea always pushed away.

Keep it up SHY.

Thanks meena...:)

"Always" pushed away - Yes, in certain situations. In places where critical decisions are to be made. Her ideas are accepted only if the guys are in the plan of asking her anyway, like what color for car etc.. But important critical decisions, guys tend to ignore a her thoughts..

ITs something like this. Her ideas are felt as if accepted in situations where a guy never strains himself, like simple matters. Appo he asks her opinion.

Shy

meenaram
12-18-2003, 04:58 PM
Hi SHY I like the way you are presenting things, ideas and suggestions. Hope everyone like SHY's ideas and the way she is presenting things.

Then who said woman's idea always pushed away.

Keep it up SHY.

Fish... ungal Fish,

Nenga vancha pugalchi meenava?

:lol::lol::lol::lol::lol::lol: :lol::lol:

SHY yee ethura mari ethi... Women's Ideas ellam yaarum push pannurathu illai nu thane sollurenga...corrite romba corrite

:ee:

No way sri_gan....................... .No vancha pugalchi and all. I read all her(SHY's) posts in this topic. The way she is handing is marvelous. hats off to you SHY. keep it up.

sri_gan
12-18-2003, 05:03 PM
Fish ungal fish sonna sariya than irrukum.... seri I don't want to detour the topic anymore... main topic kku polam...



ITs something like this. Her ideas are felt as if accepted in situations where a guy never strains himself, like simple matters. Appo he asks her opinion.


I think it depends on understanding each other in taking decision nu nenaikiren. Not every guy is like that....to my knowledge.

Athe pola silla visheyngalukku women wont show involvement also.

Involvement kattina i don't think any guy would stop any ideas....

Ivalo than matter.

Shy
12-18-2003, 05:08 PM
No way sri_gan....................... .No vancha pugalchi and all. I read all her(SHY's) posts in this topic. The way she is handing is marvelous. hats off to you SHY. keep it up.

Meena... eppadi thaan.. yaethu sonaalum.. Sri ooda speciality'ae mathee solirathuthaan ;).. just kidding....

Thanks for ur compliment again ...... :D :cool: :D

Why dont u actively argue with us in some topics around here :)...it will be fun... Sofia's 3rd patti mandram is going on. Appuram even in this women section kuuda paesalaam

Shy

sri_gan
12-18-2003, 05:13 PM
No way sri_gan....................... .No vancha pugalchi and all. I read all her(SHY's) posts in this topic. The way she is handing is marvelous. hats off to you SHY. keep it up.

Meena... eppadi thaan.. yaethu sonaalum.. Sri ooda speciality'ae mathee solirathuthaan ;).. just kidding....

Thanks for ur compliment again ...... :D :cool: :D

Why dont u actively argue with us in some topics around here :)...it will be fun... Sofia's 3rd patti mandram is going on. Appuram even in this women section kuuda paesalaam

Shy

Amma fish, nengalum kalathula erangunga.....a piece of note: topic flow fulla padichittu kalathula eranganum... illaina... enna pesurathune piriyathu....

meenaram
12-18-2003, 05:16 PM
hi shy, i posted some topics in the women's section.......yeah sure i will try my best for the active participation........have your say in my topics...........Nichayama neenga pesanum.

venky1974
12-18-2003, 05:19 PM
I think it depends on understanding each other in taking decision nu nenaikiren. Not every guy is like that....to my knowledge.

Athe pola silla visheyngalukku women wont show involvement also.

Involvement kattina i don't think any guy would stop any ideas....

Ivalo than matter.


Correct Sri... Not all guys are alike, Involvement is important. Now if the girl does not show involvement in a subject that the guy is trying to take a decesion then how can you say that we dont take suggestion from the girl?

Intha girls ellame ippide dan... Involve panname suggestion kekanum ne sollavange :D :D

Venky

Shy
12-18-2003, 05:40 PM
venky.. enna ethu eppadi thappa engalai purinchu vachu irukeenga... appadi ellam ellai..

U guys wont be transparent to girls in some matters like finance .. so how come we will get any involvement unless u be transparent to us and willingly accept us in those areas sollunga ;)

Shy

anainar
12-18-2003, 06:20 PM
Shy,

Ithu enna puthu dialogue, "Transparent"? What is the relation between transparency and opinions? Women just dont understand the dynamics of finance. As simple as that. For them finance is only for spending. You did not reply to my earlier post about women being impulsive shoppers. How can they save if they shop all the way to the glory?

Cheers.

sri_gan
12-18-2003, 06:26 PM
Shy,

Ithu enna puthu dialogue, "Transparent"? What is the relation between transparency and opinions? Women just dont understand the dynamics of finance. As simple as that. For them finance is only for spending. You did not reply to my earlier post about women being impulsive shoppers. How can they save if they shop all the way to the glory?

Cheers.

kalakii puttinge Iyanaar.

Naan shy auntye enna kekanum nu avanga posting padichona nenachano.. athe kettutinga... :yes::yes::yes:

Ammam shy aunty ethu enna puthusa, "Transparent", Husband wife naa ve ellam transparent thane... nenga love marriage topic le understanding understanding nu sathichingooo... Appo transparent 'um part of the marriage nu theriyathono? Enn namma venky kuda than marriage kku artham pottu irrukar.. angai than ellam theliva irruke.

Athu seri athu pogattum.. involvement kkum transparency 'kkum inna sambantham nu kekuren...

Pathil sollungo...

Shy
12-18-2003, 06:35 PM
Transparent meaning.... without thinking whether to discuss this issue her or not. just letting here know everything in ur decision making. If women doesnt know dynamics of finance as u had quoted, why is then still many girls opt for 3rd group and have come out successfully in flying colors in their careers. Its not that they dont understand, they arent given the oppurtunity to understand and move along the market.

Also I cant agree that they just spend. Then do u mean all the men are successful only because of their hard work and enjoying the luxury just because they had calculated properly and saved the money? and this has nothing to do with his wife? or for that matter any woman in his life?

Women are good shoppers but not lousy ones. The point u are stating is as if.. each man has a spender as his wife and hes the only savior in the family? is that so?

Shy

sri_gan
12-18-2003, 07:23 PM
If women doesnt know dynamics of finance as u had quoted, why is then still many girls opt for 3rd group and have come out successfully in flying colors in their careers. Its not that they dont understand, they arent given the oppurtunity to understand and move along the market.


Ithu ennala koncham othukka mudiyalai, for example if the girl was given an oppurtunity to study 3rd group in +2 then what makes her stop not taking care of finance in home.

Appadi padicha Ethanai ponnunga husband kitta nanga home finance pathukurom nu thairiyama kettu, finance section naan tharamatten nu husband's solli irrukanga...

1. Book le enna padichangalo athu than avangalukku vedam. Evanachum mathi sollitana tension agi kalo param panniduvanga.

2. To my knowledge, neriya women'kku responsibilty eduthukka payyam, anna responsibility eduthu tangalo.. over torchure aidum... ithukku kanakku sollu, athukku kanakku sollu nu...enn ippadi thirumbi kanakku sollure, murachikittu sollure.....

This is nothing new 'cause if you see a man he don't care much on minute details, when its a large investment he will count on his experience, in case of a women she will take care on minute details but periya visheyathule koottai vitturvanaga...

anainar
12-18-2003, 09:41 PM
2. To my knowledge, neriya women'kku responsibilty eduthukka payyam, anna responsibility eduthu tangalo.. over torchure aidum... ithukku kanakku sollu, athukku kanakku sollu nu...enn ippadi thirumbi kanakku sollure, murachikittu sollure.....

This is nothing new 'cause if you see a man he don't care much on minute details, when its a large investment he will count on his experience, in case of a women she will take care on minute details but periya visheyathule koottai vitturvanaga...

Seriya sonneenga Sri. They cant take ownership for their decisions and failures unlike guys who can bounce back. The have less perseverance and give up at the first hurdle. One failure will make them shrink into their shells and rue their decision for the rest of their life rather than getting over with it. Ithula "We are guarding our territory" dialogue vera. Ithellam kathaiku aavarathu illai Shy. Men are successful not because there is a woman behind them. It is despite a woman behind them, they are successful.

Cheers.

sWEEtmICHe
12-21-2003, 11:50 AM
hey fRIENDs,
wow great :fight:..........cool plzzzzz
well said and good argument,never know geetham having alot of ideas ,
aDMIn plz take note!
good supporters and very well blended by each and everyone!!
thanks for all the comments and contribution...
to me i feel most guys are bias , sorry to say, that was why alot of divorce and separation happens nowadays,if they can share their ideas..atleast not much lost.well this is someones view..,That has been changing a lot. It basically depends on the economic status of the family. In high and middle class families, I have noticed a lot of women making desicions. Education has a great deal to do with it. I think every women should gain respect from her husband from day 1 of marriage. If all they do is indulge themselves in cooking and cleaning the house, men feel that they are more "Intellectually advanced" than their counterpart. Which is totally wrong. Thats one of the reasons why women need education and a job. Thats what gains them respect. The more respect, the more your asked opinions. and of course you have say on the money bcuz your making it as well!!! ...to be con't...............
thanks
gOODAy :wink:

venky1974
12-22-2003, 05:16 AM
I think every women should gain respect from her husband from day 1 of marriage. If all they do is indulge themselves in cooking and cleaning the house, men feel that they are more "Intellectually advanced" than their counterpart. Which is totally wrong. Thats one of the reasons why women need education and a job. Thats what gains them respect. The more respect, the more your asked opinions. and of course you have say on the money bcuz your making it as well!!! ...to be con't...............


I differ from your statement here. This above is purely your opinion and not reality.

If my wife were to be uneducated and she was a good wife, there would not be more that I would ask her of.

Respect for a girl comes the moment she has tied the knot with her groom. No one can change that. When you walk around the fire and take your seven steps, you both make a promise to each other that you both will respect each other. There is no issue of any education and job there.

In the older generation , our mothers and grand mother were not all that education, but does that mean that no one respects them.

Guys are still the same, I feel the perception of girls these days has changed so much that they have started to think that having a good education and a good job will gain respect.

(Mind you I have the highest regards for education.)

Venky

dinesh
12-22-2003, 06:23 AM
The only problem here is our traditional attitude of treating women as secong rate citizens. This is called chauvinism. Until we correct that individually, there won't be a better future for women.

meenaram
12-22-2003, 06:45 AM
almost all guys are MCP. so it is very difficult to change them dinesh. so no better future for us.

sWEEtmICHe
12-22-2003, 01:29 PM
I think every women should gain respect from her husband from day 1 of marriage. If all they do is indulge themselves in cooking and cleaning the house, men feel that they are more "Intellectually advanced" than their counterpart. Which is totally wrong. Thats one of the reasons why women need education and a job. Thats what gains them respect. The more respect, the more your asked opinions. and of course you have say on the money bcuz your making it as well!!! ...to be con't...............

I differ from your statement here. This above is purely your opinion and not reality.
If my wife were to be uneducated and she was a good wife, there would not be more that I would ask her of.
Respect for a girl comes the moment she has tied the knot with her groom. No one can change that. When you walk around the fire and take your seven steps, you both make a promise to each other that you both will respect each other. There is no issue of any education and job there.
In the older generation , our mothers and grand mother were not all that education, but does that mean that no one respects them.
Guys are still the same, I feel the perception of girls these days has changed so much that they have started to think that having a good education and a good job will gain respect.
(Mind you I have the highest regards for education.)
Venky

venky


I differ from your statement here. This above is purely your opinion and not reality.


someones view..,That has been changing a lot. It basically depends on the economic status of the family. In high and middle class families, I have noticed a lot of women making desicions. Education has a great deal to do with it. I think every women should gain respect from her husband from day 1 of marriage. If all they do is indulge themselves in cooking and cleaning the house, men feel that they are more "Intellectually advanced" than their counterpart. Which is totally wrong. Thats one of the reasons why women need education and a job. Thats what gains them respect. The more respect, the more your asked opinions. and of course you have say on the money bcuz your making it as well!!! ...to be con't...............

hey venky,
well i think u didn't see ma post .....i mentioned,as this is someone's view!!......plz take note!!
gOODAy : wink:

sri_gan
12-22-2003, 02:20 PM
almost all guys are MCP. so it is very difficult to change them dinesh. so no better future for us.

KT Sorna akka,

MCP na enna?

Pease expain.

meenaram
12-22-2003, 02:23 PM
almost all guys are MCP. so it is very difficult to change them dinesh. so no better future for us.

KT Sorna akka,

MCP na enna?

Pease expain.
hi sri thambi,
Male Chauvinistic Pig (MCP) kanna. Seri athu enna KT?

dinesh
12-22-2003, 02:32 PM
Kaathai Thirugum......
unga peyara neengalae marantha epdi?

sri_gan
12-22-2003, 03:00 PM
hi sri thambi,
Male Chauvinistic Pig (MCP) kanna. Seri athu enna KT?

I'm not a pig I'm not a pig... I'm scorpion I'm scorpion

KT - Kathu Thirugi - unga pera nanga expain pannavendiyathu irruku...

anainar
12-22-2003, 03:24 PM
Oh! Oh! How long are you guys going to keep saying MCP? Respect for a woman comes from the way she takes no new responsibilities. When she was daughter of a home, she has almost no responsibilities. The moment she gets married the responsibilities differ and so is the role. How fast they take up the new role and responsibilities make them respectable. Even after 10 years of marriage, if the girl keeps saying, "I want to go to my mama" she will not get any respect from the husband. She has to grow up as an adult and the respect will come automatically. If you are a mama's daughter always, you will not get any respect.

Cheers.

sri_gan
12-22-2003, 03:29 PM
Oh! Oh! How long are you guys going to keep saying MCP? Respect for a woman comes from the way she takes no new responsibilities. When she was daughter of a home, she has almost no responsibilities. The moment she gets married the responsibilities differ and so is the role. How fast they take up the new role and responsibilities make them respectable. Even after 10 years of marriage, if the girl keeps saying, "I want to go to my mama" she will not get any respect from the husband. She has to grow up as an adult and the respect will come automatically. If you are a mama's daughter always, you will not get any respect.

Cheers.

100% True Arumuganainar.

Why don't the girls come out of a nutshell, kocham velila vanga, manusanga nu therinchu thane ellam kalyanam pannininga... appuram ethukku mummy pattu padurenga...

I think its within themselves, pottu kolapi thalluranga pola irruku, appuram ketta MCP... amabalainga ellam...

Shy
12-23-2003, 03:34 PM
Oh! Oh! How long are you guys going to keep saying MCP? Respect for a woman comes from the way she takes no new responsibilities. When she was daughter of a home, she has almost no responsibilities. The moment she gets married the responsibilities differ and so is the role. How fast they take up the new role and responsibilities make them respectable. Even after 10 years of marriage, if the girl keeps saying, "I want to go to my mama" she will not get any respect from the husband. She has to grow up as an adult and the respect will come automatically. If you are a mama's daughter always, you will not get any respect.

Cheers.

Oh oh hold on.. as if 20 years u were having the entire responsibilities of ur family mathiri ellai solreenga.. u start ur job at the max 24-25 appuram within 3-4 years marriage.. antha 3 yearsla matum are u a genius in taking care of responsibilities.

A girl doesnt know how to take care of a small baby.. vanthu when she bears one.. few help at the start.. appuram she takes care on her own.. starts to know what this cry implies etc.. athu enna PHD padichutu vanthaala??? she cares for her child.. starts to understand and take that responsibility right.. athumathiri thaan everything.. when u care for something u will do it right...

Chumma parents veetula irunthu vantha nalla she cant do anythign solrathu utter thappu...

Mama ponna iruntha no respect solreenga.. why will u guys stopping being mama's boys first????

Shy

sri_gan
12-23-2003, 03:42 PM
Chumma parents veetula irunthu vantha nalla she cant do anythign solrathu utter thappu...

Mama ponna iruntha no respect solreenga.. why will u guys stopping being mama's boys first????



Shy Aunty,

Ethukku eduthalum amma vettukku ponum nu adam pidikirathum romba thappu nu theriyatha...

Oru chinna example eduthuppom.

Rendu peru love pannaranga.

Ponnu koncham vasathiyana kudumbam, payyan middle class.

Ungala mari advise perusukalaliyum, namma cinema mogathaliyum ivanga rendu perukku kathal vanthuruchu...

Payyan oru alavaukku nalla vellai seiyuran, anthar banther agai kalyanam mudichiruchu...

Ippa ponnu is missing all porantha veetu sugam, athukaga payyana ponnu vettula irrukanum nu solluranga...

Does this sound ok for you? Appo love kana artham than enna?

Ippo expain pease.

anainar
12-23-2003, 06:59 PM
Oh oh hold on.. as if 20 years u were having the entire responsibilities of ur family mathiri ellai solreenga.. u start ur job at the max 24-25 appuram within 3-4 years marriage.. antha 3 yearsla matum are u a genius in taking care of responsibilities.

A girl doesnt know how to take care of a small baby.. vanthu when she bears one.. few help at the start.. appuram she takes care on her own.. starts to know what this cry implies etc.. athu enna PHD padichutu vanthaala??? she cares for her child.. starts to understand and take that responsibility right.. athumathiri thaan everything.. when u care for something u will do it right...

Chumma parents veetula irunthu vantha nalla she cant do anythign solrathu utter thappu...

Mama ponna iruntha no respect solreenga.. why will u guys stopping being mama's boys first????

Shy


Shy,

Enna vena sollunga, guys normally are not mama's boys. Atleast now a days and that too guys who have migrated for professional reasons. They ask their mom/parents only on things they are unsure of. And they take it as advice and reserve the choice of following it or not following it. Atleast that is the way I am and most of my friends are. But this woman, cant do anything without consulting their parents/siblings. Anything as small as buying a blouse pieace, they will talk to each other,conspire in low voice and then make a decision. And if it comes to handling fellow human beings/relatives, the conspiracy theory goes berserck and the voices become even more low and the time taken also increases exponentially. Guys it is straight. They either like some one or dont and they dont conspire like women. This is what I call as "mama's girl" syndrome. They need to consult their family on every decision or atleast let them know of every thing. Guys dont do that. Ithai thaan sonnen.

Muthalla ithai stop pannunga, you will get respect automatically. While we are willing to listen to ideas of our spouse, we are the least willing to hear about third party intrusions into our lives.

Cheers.[/quote]

butterfly
12-23-2003, 10:17 PM
anainar wrote,


quote]
Enna vena sollunga, guys normally are not mama's boys. Atleast now a days and that too guys who have migrated for professional reasons. They ask their mom/parents only on things they are unsure of. And they take it as advice and reserve the choice of following it or not following it.
[/quote]

anainar,
when did u start making decision of ur own?...when did u stop consulting ur parents on ur decision...when u started becoming independent...so wats stopping u frm asking them or following their suggestion now???...is ur mother suddenly unwise?



They need to consult their family on every decision or atleast let them know of every thing.


its not coz the wife doesnt trust her man...its out of respect for her mother who was her moral support until then..its just letting her know of wats happening & making her a part in it...idhulle enna thappu?

anainar
12-23-2003, 10:28 PM
Adada, I never said my mother is unwise. She has her own wisdom taught by life which is unmatched. But whether I need to consult her on everything I do is the question. Obviously we seek their advice, but we reserve the right to make final decision. It is like President of India. The PM seeks his advice, but he reserves the right and ownership of the decision. For instance, I never consulted my mom for jobs, but asked her opinion on buying a house. She is wise in some areas, and some areas she is ignorant. It is not her fault, she is meant to be so. Though we make decisions, we always fall back to our parents if something goes wrong. So dont misconstrue my statements.

Wife consulting/informing her mom on every little thing is an irritant many times, because they will have an idea or two on how to handle different situations though they are completely ignorant about the ramifications. Especially when handling in laws or friends or human relations. Mother of wife always have an opinion about every body in the husband's family and imbibe that on their daughter. And they have ideas on how to handle them. Come on, give us a break. Why cant the wife decide things on her own rather than asking her mom? That is what I meant. They need to let their daughter lead their own life, rather than trying to be a fulcrum around which their daughter's life revolves.

Cheers.

butterfly
12-23-2003, 10:45 PM
Mother of wife always have an opinion about every body in the husband's family and imbibe that on their daughter. And they have ideas on how to handle them.


U avoid this in arranged marraige...coz ur mother wud never interfere unless there is massive problems...coz she knows her dtr has to Live the rest of her life with that family...

In love marriage...the mother of the gal never had a chance to get to know the guys family ....again Both of U made the decision to marry each other...she was willing to commit her Life to u coz she loved u...so u got to respect her more...it was her choice

sri_gan
12-23-2003, 10:54 PM
U avoid this in arranged marraige...coz ur mother wud never interfere unless there is massive problems...coz she knows her dtr has to Live the rest of her life with that family...


:clap::clap::clap::clap::clap: kalakiputtingoooo mic maami kalaki puttingoo...

Topic vera direction la pora mari irruku.. but it saves some point fo the other topic...

anainar
12-23-2003, 11:39 PM
Pattaampoochi,

Ellam kekarathukku nalla thaan irukku. But think in reality. Whether it love marriage or arranged marriage, women tend to be more tilted towards their parents and sisters rather than their own husband. Many times, they look at husband whether he has ulterior motives, for what ever reasons. Guys take decision on the spot. It could be as simple as a party or disposal of their old furniture. And women consult their parents/sisters before doing such simple things also. Which is irritant in many cases.

Come on, grow up girls and live your own life rather than your mama's.

Cheers.

Shy
12-24-2003, 02:36 PM
Enna vena sollunga, guys normally are not mama's boys. Atleast now a days and that too guys who have migrated for professional reasons. They ask their mom/parents only on things they are unsure of. And they take it as advice and reserve the choice of following it or not following it. Atleast that is the way I am and most of my friends are.

Even at that time.. u never think of asking ur wife what to do.. u people go about asking anyone for advise but not her... as if shes nothing but a vegetable and doesnt know anything... dont tell me u will ask her for the matters that u ask ur parents for advice. athu varathu ungalukku.. because as u said already u have branded that she isnt fit to sit and discuss the matters with u.


But this woman, cant do anything without consulting their parents/siblings.
Anything as small as buying a blouse pieace, they will talk to each other,conspire in low voice and then make a decision.


I wont agree on this.. u got to point me matters tht are real issues and not silly things like getting a blouse peice.. BTW blouse peipce vaangurathukku why should they talk low? I dont think so. see not dresses, but any type of cosmetic things a girl will consult with any other woman.. she wants to consult everyone and know abt all ways of doing ti.. V neck, U neck.. Glass vachathu.. etc etc.. type of clothes etc.. And this is not taking a decision , but gaining choices for her so that she can decide what she can do..

paarunga oru blouse vaangurathukae she collecst different ideas and does the bext thing. I will not accept that a girl is consulting her mom to ask permission if I can get a blouse.. thats ext to impossible....


And if it comes to handling fellow human beings/relatives, the conspiracy theory goes berserck and the voices become even more low and the time taken also increases exponentially.

oor vambu is a kuuda poorathathu for not justa wife, but a sister, daughter, why even mom... they all do that... whats wrong in that.. is she not cooking or doing any of her responsibility and chatting for long hours..no never.. she talks to them when she has time. I will totally accept that.. only talking like that, kudumbathula nadakarathu ellam theriyum... eva eppadi paeseena.. athu appadi nadanthathu.. etc.. guyskku first no time at all to sit and talk like that.. athuku what can we do.. I dont think theres no point in pointing this out as if shes a mama's girl.. when every girl on earth does to everyother girl.. pot luck nadkuthae... athula have u attended.. couples saenthu paesurathooda.. girls ellam saenthupaanga.. they keep talking, chatting for hrs... guyskku, car, business, basketball, cricket thaan paesa theriyum...


This is what I call as "mama's girl" syndrome.

This is NOT CALLED MAMA's GIRL syndrme, as she doesn talk only to her mom and no never does she consult for everything on her mom.. enanga paesureenga... mopst mom's ooda fashion tips is way off.. how on earth will she consult for every thing on her mom

BTW, shes isnt taking any major decision by her own, when u dont give her a chance... and the small decisions like interior decorations, desing, car color ellam, her liking.. appadi irukkum poothu whats there for her to consult her mom to take decisions???

No coming to explain why guys are called MAMA's BOY...

Every guy on earth are mama's boy.. simply put when it comes to pick a decision given by any other person or ur mom, u simply take that in most cases ur moms main reason not to hurt her or by not taking might make her feel not respected and stuff.. Ellaina u take more pain to explain why u havent done that.

Relatives pathi u dont care u said.. yes u dont because whatever ur mom said abt them is ehat u hear before ur wife comes. Mom enna solraangaloo, thats what u know abt them.. true or not...

Simple'a dressvangarathu kuuda until ur wife comes, ur dad wont select for u, but ur mom.
When taking financial decisions like investing in india or somewhere in ur homeland... unga appa enna thaa sonaalum, unga amma solrathukku thaan mostly u will incline... dai son, I like Tnagar.. i want to be in an apartment.. do buy a home like an apartment, no single home'nu solraanga ur mom.. even thought u arent interested.. since u know ur mom is goign to be there, u abide by her aasai???

Ethu mathiri 1000 reasons solalaam.. for guys being mama's boy...

Evalavu yaen neenga ellam amma's boy irukara naala thaanae MIL, DIL problem'ae varuthu.. who has more attachment...own towards the guy'nu....becuause most guys dont know the balance between these two ladies...

On the other way, Girl balance their parents family and In law family correctly... and hnce no problem from her side mostly...


we are the least willing to hear about third party intrusions into our lives.

so appo ur parents side is like ur family and when she talks to her parents its like third party for u... whats this????I dont want to commnet on this anymore...

Shy

sri_gan
12-24-2003, 02:46 PM
oor vambu is a kuuda poorathathu for not justa wife, but a sister, daughter, why even mom... they all do that... whats wrong in that.. is she not cooking or doing any of her responsibility and chatting for long hours..no never.. she talks to them when she has time. I will totally accept that.. only talking like that, kudumbathula nadakarathu ellam theriyum... eva eppadi paeseena.. athu appadi nadanthathu.. etc.. guyskku first no time at all to sit and talk like that.. athuku what can we do.. I dont think theres no point in pointing this out as if shes a mama's girl.. when every girl on earth does to everyother girl.. pot luck nadkuthae... athula have u attended.. couples saenthu paesurathooda.. girls ellam saenthupaanga.. they keep talking, chatting for hrs... guyskku, car, business, basketball, cricket thaan paesa theriyum...


Shy nu peru vachikittu intha kattam katturenga :? :? . Relax please.

Seri appo oor vambhu pesuratho ok nu sollurengala? After effects ellam yaaru papa. say for example oru two story building kila owner mela nenga... owner vettu karanga kuda sandai adichikitta appuram eppadi thanga viduvan... athellam ungalukku mukkiyam illai ungalukku unga oor vambhu than mukkiyam.

First ye sonnen, nenga details kku kodukura importance base kku kodukurathu illai. unga manasula enna intha veedu illati innoru veedu... vellaikku pore husband vellaiya papana veedu pathu kittu irrupana... summa oor vambhu pesurathu ok nu ellam solla kudathu...

Sandai adichikama oor kathai pesurom nu solunga ok... athu enna oor vambhu.

Shy
12-24-2003, 03:11 PM
Sri.. olunga flow padikavae mateengala... I am saying oor vambu is the sense for anaianr's post stating that all girls consult their moms for making ever decisions.... For that realtives ellar pathiyum paesuraangannu solrathuku i said "oor vambu".. moreover I never stated they were making fights.. but talking abt everyone in the family..

BTW neenga solrathu hasnt have a single connection to the flow here.. how can a girl figiht with a owner be a MAM'As GIRL??

Also oor vambu is not just fighting for ur kind information.. orr vambu is gathering information thats happenign all over to.. seemy potluck line too its an example for oor vambu..

ethaiyum ethaiyum mudichu poodureenga ..no no.. never with me..

Shy

sri_gan
12-24-2003, 04:22 PM
Shy,

Unga vazhile solluren.


eva eppadi paeseena.. athu appadi nadanthathu.. etc..


Eva eppadi ponna ungalukku enna? athai ethukku pesurenga nu kekuren.. ippa than mega serial podurane.. atha parthuttu irruka vendiyathane...

Athe vittutu summa oor vambhu pesuren nu bharathi pattu onnu irruku..."nenju porukuthilliye intha nillai ketta manidarai ninathu vittal nu..." athule specifica oru vari varum oru pambukku 5 thalai .. innoruthan 6 thalai solla poga.. athukku rendu perum pesama irruka vendiyathu nu....

Argument varathukku ethukku chance kodukurenga nu than kekuren?

butterfly
12-24-2003, 04:56 PM
anainar wrote,
,

Pattaampoochi,

Ellam kekarathukku nalla thaan irukku. But think in reality. Whether it love marriage or arranged marriage, women tend to be more tilted towards their parents and sisters rather than their own husband. Many times, they look at husband whether he has ulterior motives


anainar,
thappa purunju vacherukeengo...



Many times, they look at husband whether he has ulterior motives


thappungo...she trusts her Life with him...oru ponnu lives in her parents house only 1/4 of her life....the rest is with her husband....so she completely trusts him when he ties the knot...summa vambuku she must say things...but in her heart she always trusts her husband ....after marriage her own house is like a visitor's house ngo...she still respects her family...but that doesnt mean her husband is any less...listen to her defend u with her family in any situation...

sri_gan
12-24-2003, 06:22 PM
thappungo...she trusts her Life with him...oru ponnu lives in her parents house only 1/4 of her life....the rest is with her husband....so she completely trusts him when he ties the knot...summa vambuku she must say things...but in her heart she always trusts her husband ....after marriage her own house is like a visitor's house ngo...she still respects her family...but that doesnt mean her husband is any less...listen to her defend u with her family in any situation...


Ippadi than maami ellam velila solluva... ull ondru vaithu puram ondru pesuthal nu solluvanga ethai.

Enthanai per marriage anna ponnunga, poranthu veedu puguntha veedu nu differentiate panni pakama irrukanga sollunga papom?

Ella ponnu manasuleyum intha mari oru feeling irrukum, for example nalla padikira ponnu 2 yr BE padikkum pothu marriage panni vachitanganu vachippom...

Usually the first kaduppu vanthu husband and avanga family mela than vilum, appa amma pannunathu oru thappave theriyathu enna they will give a sad face like if they miss her... ofcourse itha velila solla mudiyathu ullukule vachu puluningi kittu irrupanga corrita?

butterfly
12-24-2003, 08:12 PM
sri wrote,


Ippadi than maami ellam velila solluva... ull ondru vaithu puram ondru pesuthal nu solluvanga ethai.


sri,
Not everyone is the same...



Enthanai per marriage anna ponnunga, poranthu veedu puguntha veedu nu differentiate panni pakama irrukanga sollunga papom?


It depends on her husband & his family sri....if she gets accepted by her husband & his family ...believe me she will feel it @ home
one example solren.....it was my first day in my husbands home after marraige..eve current poiduchu..& I was in our room putting away the stuff & my hus wasnt with me...my MIL & my SIL came running to me in that darkness to make sure I was ok...coz they knew my hus wasnt around...their concern was me...that they forgot even to bring a candle ;)...appadi patavangale eppadi nan pirichu parka mudium...sollungo



Ella ponnu manasuleyum intha mari oru feeling irrukum, for example nalla padikira ponnu 2 yr BE padikkum pothu marriage panni vachitanganu vachippom...

Usually the first kaduppu vanthu husband and avanga family mela than vilum, appa amma pannunathu oru thappave theriyathu enna they will give a sad face like if they miss her... ofcourse itha velila solla mudiyathu ullukule vachu puluningi kittu irrupanga corrita?


Thats assumption...Y wud u blame ur husband or his family for that???....its ur decision that u got married...parents might suggest & probably explain the advantages of marriage then...but the decision depends on the gal...if ur talking about some remote places where the gal is given away with out her consent....still she wud be sad that her parents didnt understand her but not be mad on her hus or his family

Shy
12-25-2003, 12:29 AM
Shy,

Unga vazhile solluren.


eva eppadi paeseena.. athu appadi nadanthathu.. etc..


Eva eppadi ponna ungalukku enna? athai ethukku pesurenga nu kekuren.. ippa than mega serial podurane.. atha parthuttu irruka vendiyathane...

Athe vittutu summa oor vambhu pesuren nu bharathi pattu onnu irruku..."nenju porukuthilliye intha nillai ketta manidarai ninathu vittal nu..." athule specifica oru vari varum oru pambukku 5 thalai .. innoruthan 6 thalai solla poga.. athukku rendu perum pesama irruka vendiyathu nu....

Argument varathukku ethukku chance kodukurenga nu than kekuren?

See orr vambu pathi poaesurathu naala u cant brand her as a non respectable person. Thats all I am saying.. Appo what u and anainar saying are all women on earth.. i repeat on earth are not respectable.. because every women will talk or chat abt others in their lifetime atleast once.. even ur mom, his mom everyones mom, sisters, daughters do that... thats all I am sayiing..

udanae athu pudichu padam varaiyaa kuudaathu.. see those who are creating the trouble out of this orr vambu.. its her individuality.. her fault.. I am not supporting her.. In general solraen just because she oor vambufyies u cant say shes not respectabel..

Eppo sollungo.. what do u say on this.. is a women respectable or not because she chats????

Enna kindala... if she has kaduppu that she cant study why in the first place she accepted for marriage.. appo matum guy is earning super'a nalla jollya irukalaamnnu accept pannitu yaen ava kaduppu aaganum with her husbands family.. thats her stupidity.. avalavu studies maela aasai erukaravaa.. why cant she argue with her family and stop the marriage and study????

Shy

anainar
12-25-2003, 12:34 AM
Today is a holiday for us and I could get hold of my computer only in the evening after taking my son and wife around some shopping places. Athukkulla ivlo sandai pottu mudichiteenga. Shy, intha rately kova pattinganna, kandippa BP over a poidum. Cool down. Naan thaan ungalukku sorry solli, vaazhga kosham pottutanay! appuramum ivol kovam yen?

Pattaampoochi,

I am from a big family of 6 brothers and 3 sisters and I am sixth. I have seen enough MILs, SILs in my life. Things which are totally irrelevant to a guy is of supreme importance to a girl. I have seen it many time. I myself land into trouble many times, because I feel this thing is a small decision and irrelevant to my wife, but when my wife comes to know, she feels I should have discussed with her. It is not possible to discuss everything and make a decision. They try to micro manage the decisions which does not work. We take a macro level consent and leave the details out of her and that causes problems. The same thing, when happens with their families they really dont care. Only with husband they are like sandai kozhi. This is what makes us make the statement that they are mama's girls.

Shy,

Neenga enna thaan sonnaalum, there are some areas where women really cannot participate in a constructive way. One thing, they scheme a lot for anything. Guys dont do that scheming. Either it is ok or not ok.

Cheers.

sWEEtmICHe
01-04-2004, 05:57 AM
anainar....!!
Well-said ...
I agreed with your super point!!http://www.geetham.net/forums/images/smiles/icon_dance.gif
Something’s do happen...
When idea been shared.irrelevent to any situation
Miracles take place....
Why? This kind of situation. Be hold if only u guys considerate
Thanks for all the wonderful argument. Ideas and comments!!

sWEEtmICHe
02-05-2004, 02:59 PM
well fRIENd,
I am still waiting for a solution.....,
any help :Ksp:

sagi
02-20-2004, 09:46 AM
i agree with silican :) its changing nowdays....we are not after them any more....nai kutti paarthirukkingala sweet??? ;)

sWEEtmICHe
05-02-2004, 09:15 AM
engae ????? sagi chellam