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sWEEtmICHe
12-27-2003, 02:43 AM
Pain & Suffering are only for women?

hey fRIENDs,
All are welcome be constructive...share ur opinion plz....
in love Life......
thank u
gOODAy http://www.ithayavany.com/*~flash~*/forum/images/smiles/new_evil.gif

GoodBoy
12-29-2003, 10:20 AM
No i wont accept this..Pain and suffering are also for men too..

Shy
12-29-2003, 03:38 PM
I second sarvanaa in this.. There is a pain given by nature to woman and not to man. Apart from that.. I think pain and suffereings are there for men too. may be we can say the precentage is more for woman when compared between these 2.

More to come as the topic proceeds

Shy

venky1974
12-29-2003, 03:58 PM
I think its for both depending upon which one of the two is on the receiving end.

shy... why do you say that the pain is more for the women to men??

I hope the pain we are talking here is mental ?? and not physical... Please clarify.

Venky

Shy
12-29-2003, 04:51 PM
Yeah more for women not men.. I didnt mean physical.

Imagine this venky.. mentally she had to adjust herself a lot in many occasions..not like guys who have a steady flow in their life. Since shes emotional bound.. she had to face many things in life with a balanaced head.

(1) Like leaving her parents.. after 20 years together.. it will happy in one way that shes married and leading a new life, a husband who will love her for life..... but leaving that emotional ties is a pain for her mentally intially..

(2) Adjusting to the new enviorment and facing problems there if any.. with in laws - parents, brothers and sisters. She has to digest many issues and adjust to their family . That will be pain in the start. Its will not be bed of roses always right?

More like this.. where for guys its nothing.. but as women they have to face certain issues like this.

Shy

venky1974
12-29-2003, 07:45 PM
Like leaving her parents.. after 20 years together.. it will happy in one way that shes married and leading a new life, a husband who will love her for life..... but leaving that emotional ties is a pain for her mentally intially..


Can we help this aspect. Guys these days try and accomodate every thing a new bride wants and helps her fit in. Its a part of life. There is an initial emotion to this and not pain.

I do agree to your points here. These are such things that the society have in place and unfortunately which girls have to go through. Cause of this girls can't say that we dont have pain. I guess its just that we don't show it so much.

Guys have to suffer when the DIL and MIL dont adjust and there are tensions at home.

venky

sri_gan
12-29-2003, 07:56 PM
Shy,

In a current situation, may be because of thoughts like this the joint family thing is totally broken.

Ellam thani kudithanam than pannuranga, so both Guy and Gal misses their family, summa one side solla vendam.

Almost All working group famlies are thani kudithanam nowadays.

Shy
12-29-2003, 07:58 PM
venky... nalla irukae ithu.. DIL and MIL sandai pootu irukaanga.. who have more priority in the guys life'nu.. both these women have mental pain in that.. athula because u re in between u too have'nu i accept.. always ithu onnu thaan problem for him as far as i know...

athai thavira sollungo anything else pakalaam ;)

Shy

Shy
12-29-2003, 08:03 PM
Shy,

In a current situation, may be because of thoughts like this the joint family thing is totally broken.

Ellam thani kudithanam than pannuranga, so both Guy and Gal misses their family, summa one side solla vendam.

Almost All working group famlies are thani kudithanam nowadays.

no no not at all Sri...

U are not understanding by what i meant her. it doesnt mean she has to be with only her inlaws house and not with her parents and so guys are always with their parents. what i meant is, after marriage u are out of the family. Thats it period. u are someone else family. unga family'nu sola mudiyaathu... unga family is ur husbands. everything is different. even when they are abroad. when they go for vacation in that 2 weeks.. oru 3-4 days thaan she will go to her fathers home. just visit thaan pannuvaa.. husband relatives, avanga family plans eppadi thaan most of the plan irukkum.. flight'la irunthu striaght'a naan enga appa veetukku thaan pooganumnnu adam pudika mudiyaathu right? but for a guy??? thats what i meant :)

Her husbands family becomes priority to her than hers after marriage

Shy

anainar
12-29-2003, 08:35 PM
Shy,

You seem to be totally myophic in this aspect. Women these days dont believe in keeping husband's family in priority. Ungalai kalyaanam pannikaravan( illati kalyaanam panninanavar ) kuduthu vaichavar. But all women are not like you. I am married and I for sure can say, it does not work that way. We decide based on time lines and convenience rather than blind priority to my family. Last visit, I spent 2 weeks in my wife's place and one week in my parent's place. So that is not true. Also remember the story of two sisters I told earlier. And from flight, I went straight to my wife's place because it was nearer to airport.

And what is this aspect of guy need to adjust and make life comfortable for the wife? The guy also has troubles. He was living alone happily doing his own things. All of a sudden some one else is in his life dictating terms and that does not sink in easily. They also need comforting and understanding. They also leave their parents for studies/work and dont cry like babies when leaving their parents and say, "I left every one to live with you". So did the guy too. So, that is all nonsense. Get real. Both of them need help and understanding on marriage.

In the west, women are not that much eulogized. Only in our country we say "Women, women, they are special, leaving everything, needs comforting etc". That way I appreciate the western world.

Cheers.

Shy
12-29-2003, 09:15 PM
We decide based on time lines and convenience rather than blind priority to my family. Last visit, I spent 2 weeks in my wife's place and one week in my parent's place. So that is not true. Also remember the story of two sisters I told earlier. And from flight, I went straight to my wife's place because it was nearer to airport.

Sorry if I am going to hurt u. just wanted to tell something and u know i am striaght forward.. so solraen.. thappa nenaichu kaatheenga.. discussion kaaga solraen... if its too personal solidungo.. The reason I am bringing up is this time anainar. it will not happen always.. u went to india to see ur kid and wife after a very long time. Obivously no guy on earth will first go to his parents place and then leisurely visit his wife and kid. so u went up there. If ur wife had been in ur parents place. u would have gone there right??? The logical reason for u staying there more than ur parents place is this. She isnt going to stay back, so u can go pick her and then go to ur parents place. Shes got to pack all required stuff once for all for herself and kid and join u back. Obviously that will take time and spending 2 weeks is a must then. UR parents 1 week is no other way.

But tell me when u go back next time or any other time from now on. same 3 weeks vacation. Will u spend 2 weeks always in her place first and then go for 1 week visit to ur place?


And what is this aspect of guy need to adjust and make life comfortable for the wife? The guy also has troubles. He was living alone happily doing his own things. All of a sudden some one else is in his life dictating terms and that does not sink in easily. They also need comforting and understanding.

From the start of the life for a guy, till hes married, hes got someone to take care of him, even if its a roommate to help in cooking or something. his mother does everything for him. But for a girl, she has the same luxury as you have been all long before marriage. But she cant expect that after marriage, because one of her duty responsibility is to take care of all her husband deeds. Even if she dosent know it, got to learn and some how do it. thats it right.


In the west, women are not that much eulogized. Only in our country we say "Women, women, they are special, leaving everything, needs comforting etc". That way I appreciate the western world.

enna paesureenga neenga.. compare alimony here and back in india. since she had spend some years with you and she would have been a better person if u had not married'nu ellam think panni.. enga guy kits irunthu karanthuruvaanga.. because shes not the same as she was before marriage when divorced'nu... also enga thaan propose pan red rose blankets, cards, candle light dinner;nu 1000 vishyam irukku..

Western world one more thing. individual ego romba high.. guy eppadi kaetu pooraanoo athae mathiri different vishyathula oru girl kaetu poovaa engae.. no difference in gender here.. thats the only reason why we have more teen pregnancy and drugs in west than in east. The girl can get more spoiled in west than in east. Very true theres no particulare respect for girl.. but thats the reason the society is like this....

Simple example...

One of my friends relative have a 9th grade girl. Till 9th she was in india. So nalla tradition'ooda grown up kid. her father got an offer here, so they moved to USA. Enga its a must to have boyfriend, u all know that. But due to her culture, she never had one. She was expecting to have friends. When she was in high school, no one.. literally not a singlt student spoke with her including desi kids.. reason why. it was rumored that she wasnt fit to have sex. thats why shes rejecting having any boyfriend. so that girl physologically got affected and she was taken back to india. That girl during that worse period u know what happened. she never talks, not to her parents.. nobody.. ghost mathiri irunthaa.. ethu thaan intha oor culture.. to lose their virginity in 9-10th grade and get spoiled. not many kids will have level heads during that time, unless parents take care of them very carefully in a western society.

Indiala girls'na oru vaira murai irukku.. oru levella we keep and handle them.. Epapdi solrathu theriyalai.. we wont look up a girl as we look up a guy...

Shy

vasan
12-29-2003, 09:55 PM
Oh, Shy...

I am not sure I follow you very well. On the one hand you argue that Women are special (in a post on that topic) and that Women are best at home taking care of children and family and they provide best environment at home (on a topic on that) and right here you also write that the pain and suffering are more for women.

I am not agreeing with many of the statements you have made in all these topics.

1) The article on women are special was meant as a hyperbole. Exaggerate something to a large extent to drive home a single point. The point being that many of the effort and care, and work input by women are largely unappreciated by every one, and this article is supposed to highlight (using hyperbole) to talk about it. To bring in awareness. Thats all. Women are just about as special as men are - and should be honored just as much. No one is more or less special here. I am thankful to my Dad and Mom, (written in alphabetical order and not in any order of preference!), Brothers and Sisters... All of them are special to me. You might also notice that such similar sentiments are expressed on Father's Day, appreciating the effort of men, and why Dad's are so special and all that...

2) Staying at home and making a family, or struggling with a day job and still nurturing a flock of children.. both are heroic. Both are exactly relevant based on the needs at home and an individual's preference and talent. If you have a great administration skills or research talent, or social concern why not invest it? There are great leaders/scientists/ doctors/teachers/ poets/social workers who were/are great Moms also. Managing all that to achieve some harmonius balance in your life is what is important. Stay at home moms are just as great as working moms. My own mom is a working mom - and I have a great admiration for it. My aunts are all (almost all of them) stay at home moms - and I respect them too. Not a jote of difference. Each has its own rewards and pains and needs and satisfactions. Each person, along with the help of their family should decide on what is the right balance for themselves.

3) Pain is not just a women's. What ever circumstances you undergo some pain, the same pain is over the guy to too. How could I love my mom and not see her pain? How could share all that I have with my wife and not notice her concerns, cares and pains? Why do the portrayals of men sound as though they are not a part of home (work, drink beer, watch some sports, expect hot food snacks ready all the time, and expect the women to be pretty and well dressed and looking like Movie stars... ?!! Hey, just who is this guy you are talking about? There may be some strange characters existing on the earth who are like that... but no reasonable man can be like that - or will be like that). Man is a part of home - and though he may not actually work in the kitchen, he sure does know the pain and hardwork... How much relationships cost, how much time is spent, how much the burden of daily chores... Yes, all of us know that. And are feeling it too..... There is no denying that Men don't feel that struggle. All of us do (whether we are reasonable or not) and if we are reasonable, do also our best to reduce the load and share the pain. Men do know, even if others don't realize that, that sharing is common for both pain and pleasure. If I can't share my wife's pain and burden, I can't participate in her joy and happiness as well...

Much of what I wrote probably stems from not understanding your view points. If I made some presumptions please forgive me. All that I really know, from your other comments from various posts is, that how much as an individual, you love (the man in your life) and respect men in general. That's what is pretty confusing for me... while you are such a great person, how come you argue as if life in 'general' is the opposite?

And also the arguments on Women in US and India... While I agree that the example of you quoted was really harrowing, it still is an individuals experience... (if a girl from US comes and lives in Madras for a year, she would have the same struggle... Its called culture shock, and parents ought to educate and help out their children in such circumstances... !!).... Cultural differences are so different, and so many factors are involved, its best not to describe what is great and what is not great. Some particular aspects are great in every culture, and we should all adopt, and choose what is best in each to live the best in our own lifes and circumstances.

I hope I have not written any thing hurtful - but me being a clumsy guy, I could have possibly be done so. If so, please forgive me, it is not intentional. I hope you know how much I appreciate your comments and views.

Thanks!

anainar
12-29-2003, 10:17 PM
Shy,

First and foremost, your remarks and questions are fine and dont feel that it got personal. I brought my example inside and the moment it is inside this forum is open for discussion. I will be discreet with issues of mine that I dont want to be discussed. So naan thappa eduthakkalai. But to answer your question of whether I will do the same in the next trip, depends on the convenience. I may or may not. The point is just because I am husband, I dont have the freedom to bulldoze my schedule into my wife's.

Your example of US/India girls are very much a reality. It has more to do with the culture than the fact that she is a girl. Even a guy of that age if migrates will have trouble coping up with that shock. That is gender independent.

On a guy's life, he was doing his own things even before marriage. It is as if all women talk that only after marriage a guy gets a life. He washes his clothes, makes( or buys ) his food and drinks and does some house keeping. We know what it is and will do it to reduce the burden. It is a question of role playing in a family. To run a family you need money, you need house keeping. You need to cook food, but need money to buy groceries. Both these tasks are equally important. To buy a month's grocery, the guy might have to work for 80 hours. That is not a small thing. This aspect is not appreciated by women at all. Thw wife might spend the same time making food/laundry/house keeping( except she can schedule it her own and even missing of schedules does not cause a firing ). So how are these two tasks different? They both demand time and energy. It is just that women think they are doing a great favour by doing house keeping or cooking.

Cheers

sri_gan
12-29-2003, 11:21 PM
Iyanaar know perfectly a family situation. Ennala guess mattum than panna mudiyuthu.

Shy, No men asks for appreciation like hey guy you worked 80 hrs, you are a great hero of mine. Why such words makes women so happy, to be honest those are just words.

The real appreciation might come in a different form, most women might not notice those too. Thats a hidden treasure.

I go hand in hand with Iyanaar on this topic 'cause he makes the perfect comments to run a peaceful family.

butterfly
12-29-2003, 11:32 PM
ammadiyoooo :)....

Sri wrote,


Ellam thani kudithanam than pannuranga, so both Guy and Gal misses their family, summa one side solla vendam.


I agree with sri in here...these days Men & women leave their home...so its hard for both...I dont think there is a difference there

shy wrote,
..

what i meant is, after marriage u are out of the family. Thats it period. u are someone else family. unga family'nu sola mudiyaathu... unga family is ur husbands. everything is different. even when they are abroad. when they go for vacation in that 2 weeks.. oru 3-4 days thaan she will go to her fathers home. just visit thaan pannuvaa


Very true shy...but after marraige the gal automatically feels that...its not her parents or husbands fault...she feels she has a new home...her parents home is not hers anymore...she feels more free in her husband's home than hers after marriage...enn nu ketkatheengo...coz my mom asked me & i didnt have an answer for her either :(

Now about vacation...it depends on whose house comes first...& the priority...but if ur going on a casual visit then wat shy said is true...it hurts to say bye to ur parents @ the airport & rush off to ur inlaws house :(...it really helps when they are in different state :)...

now regarding work....its painfull for both if both of them are working...but there are some men who get home & sit for their wife to come frm work to make him tea...thats a No NO...she has to come & cook supper while he his relaxing or taking a nap...adhu thappu...if both are working then both shud share the load...I notice most of our men are pretty good talking about young ones :)...there is no Ego of men getting into the kitchen as in olden days :)...older men are spolied...but again I blame women for that...coz enn prushan samayal araiku ellam vara matarunu perumaya solravango irukango...sapte plate koode sinkle podame pora men irukango...its coz their women let them do it ....

now coming to the main topic :)
Pain & Suffering are only for women?



hey fRIENDs,
All are welcome be constructive...share ur opinion plz....
in love Life......
thank u


In love life...it depends on the husband & wife relationship....if u love each other then where did the pain come frm???wat is causing the pain???

butterfly
12-30-2003, 03:41 AM
anainar wrote,


It is a question of role playing in a family. To run a family you need money, you need house keeping. You need to cook food, but need money to buy groceries. Both these tasks are equally important. To buy a month's grocery, the guy might have to work for 80 hours. That is not a small thing. This aspect is not appreciated by women at all. Thw wife might spend the same time making food/laundry/house keeping( except she can schedule it her own and even missing of schedules does not cause a firing ). So how are these two tasks different? They both demand time and energy. It is just that women think they are doing a great favour by doing house keeping or cooking.



I dont think all women are the same...My sis stayed home after she had the baby....she enjoys it....its past 2 yrs since she is home....she does everything @ home including grocery shopping....along with raising a 2 yr old...she knows his needs & meets them...same goes to him...if they have a party he his in that kitchen cooking...& when he his off he gives her a break...so its shared responsiblity....there shud be no competition...its my hus/wife nu thght irundha sandaiuku idam illai :)

Shy
12-30-2003, 06:07 PM
anainar, vasan...

I am not saying men race have no pain or suffering in their life. My point is when comapred women is more inclined to have pain and suffereing than guys. thats all. how?


It is a question of role playing in a family. To run a family you need money, you need house keeping. You need to cook food, but need money to buy groceries. Both these tasks are equally important. To buy a month's grocery, the guy might have to work for 80 hours. That is not a small thing. This aspect is not appreciated by women at all. Thw wife might spend the same time making food/laundry/house keeping( except she can schedule it her own and even missing of schedules does not cause a firing ). So how are these two tasks different? They both demand time and energy. It is just that women think they are doing a great favour by doing house keeping or cooking.

In ur quote u had mentioned that about not all women, but housewives. appadiyae paarthaalum... 365 days a guy is not under the gun for his project completion and not required to qork 80 hrs a week. Hope u will accept this. But for a women whatever u had mentioned is a routine. she cant just watch and enjoy imagining.. ok ennaiku vaendaam.. nalaikku extra hrs work panni can cook and do stuff.. today let me get a break ...Does she have a holiday from her work, unless some romantic guys prepare some suprise breakfast/lunch and dinner???...

All u guys might have seen ur mom...pongal, deepavali and other occasions.. neenga ellam enjoy panalaam.. but as a wife and mother.. she does everything in the kitchen and make u feel that the day is special..isnt she..
annaikae ungalai mathiri avangalukku leave irukaa... can she sit like u and have fun... diwali, pongal and other important occasions'la hotelkku poi sapidalaamae ammakku leave kuduthu.. why isnt that happening??? as anainar said.. JUST cooking thaanae.. yaar cook pannina enna?veetula thaan sapidanumnnu enna irukku?

Anainar... sari guys work panreenga, gals taking care of ur house and family.. u both are even. what if the gal is working and shes doing the same 80 hrs job??? including making u food, where does that take u...

Can the vice versa happen.. and even if it happens is that acceptable.. a guy and girl working.. but guy cooking???? chumma paesa kuudathu

Shy

sri_gan
12-30-2003, 06:26 PM
Shy,

Ippo enna sollurenga nenga?

Girls work at the home than 365 days than.... anna 24 hrs nu sollathinga, thats too much.

Oru logic parungaleen, enn tamil nattu le ulla TV's le neriya mega serial vanthuchunu nenaikurenga?

Athe mari cooking pathi summa sollathinga, we guys know it doesn't take anywhere, it is only woman who think they are a doing a sacrifice or something and make the life miserable in a family by provoking things. To my knowledge, Nalla food cook panninom, nalla sappitom.. if friends came by avangalukkum puduchirithathu... avlothan.

MIL and DIL than naan vacha sambaar nalla illaya illa nee vacha poriyaal than rombe nalla irrunthucha ellam?

Unda illiya? Ponnungale ponnugalukkule jealousy creat pannikittu puriyama aduna yarukku pain...

Shy
12-30-2003, 07:26 PM
Sri.. neenga first enakku answer pannunga in the broader sense to my questions, then we will go to these petty issues :)


Shy

vasan
12-30-2003, 08:10 PM
anainar, vasan...

I am not saying men race have no pain or suffering in their life. My point is when comapred women is more inclined to have pain and suffereing than guys. thats all. how?


In ur quote u had mentioned that about not all women, but housewives. appadiyae paarthaalum... 365 days a guy is not under the gun for his project completion and not required to qork 80 hrs a week. Hope u will accept this. But for a women whatever u had mentioned is a routine. she cant just watch and enjoy imagining.. ok ennaiku vaendaam.. nalaikku extra hrs work panni can cook and do stuff.. today let me get a break ...Does she have a holiday from her work, unless some romantic guys prepare some suprise breakfast/lunch and dinner???...

All u guys might have seen ur mom...pongal, deepavali and other occasions.. neenga ellam enjoy panalaam.. but as a wife and mother.. she does everything in the kitchen and make u feel that the day is special..isnt she..
annaikae ungalai mathiri avangalukku leave irukaa... can she sit like u and have fun... diwali, pongal and other important occasions'la hotelkku poi sapidalaamae ammakku leave kuduthu.. why isnt that happening??? as anainar said.. JUST cooking thaanae.. yaar cook pannina enna?veetula thaan sapidanumnnu enna irukku?

Anainar... sari guys work panreenga, gals taking care of ur house and family.. u both are even. what if the gal is working and shes doing the same 80 hrs job??? including making u food, where does that take u...

Can the vice versa happen.. and even if it happens is that acceptable.. a guy and girl working.. but guy cooking???? chumma paesa kuudathu

Shy

Shy...

My only comment is that most of what you have written sounds like stereo-type family.... My own home, both my mom and dad work(ed) and share the work at home too... Not just them, but we kids (all boys mind you!! I have no sisters) were also helping mom in every way that is possible. Mom did not over work us or we didn't complain.. It was natural and a whole lot of team work...

The point is the role of women in the kitchen and men earning their daily bread has changed considerably. Women work and men do help out (or should!). There are no definable roles any more, and the physical work load in any sensible home should be shared (and hopefully already is..!). Any other emotional pain, whether we men like it or not, is passed over to us as well... Do you think I would love my wife and enjoy seeing her distressed? Or not notice her problems? I am not a sadist, you know .... Its not mere poetics or pretty verse when we say: 'Unn kannil neer vazhindhal, Kannamma, enn nenjil uthiram kottuthadi'... Just as much as the wife feels our struggles and want to lighten our load, so much we also want to help her and share her pain and sorrows...

No one suffers more or less in a family, objectively speaking. No one should. Men should learn to appreciate and share the hard work, emotional struggles and mute sufferings their wives go through, and women should do so likewise.... No one is special - no one is complete in themselves.. but together, the life becomes more complete and truly special!

Thats my last line on this topic folks... the 'real-slim-shady' will stand up when he lives his life with a partner... just how long can I keep theorizing... Just wait until I find my own Kannamma then I will tell you folks the real story.. :)

Shy
12-30-2003, 08:27 PM
That was good one vasan.. But that last line should be for other topic where the discussion is if women are special or not. here we are discussion who suffer or has pain more..:) anyway following u.. this is my conclusion post

On comparison, I say the precentage of pain and suffereing is more for a woman than man. Theres no equality here.

A family needs a woman and it can lead without a man. She can both work and handle the family together. But bringing up a family by himself is way out of league for a man. Because patience, emotional ties, sensitiveity and many such characters are part of woman itself. Even though a man has these qualities, it isnt fruitful to him to bring up a family. Shes the one who can bring up the family together.

My previous post will explain a bit more deeper. :)

Shy

anainar
12-30-2003, 09:11 PM
Shy,

That is not correct that only a women can bring up a family. I know kids brought up by father shining in their life, showing compassion and being successful. It is a myth on which women always harp on saying only a women can bring up a family.

Of all the values you have listed for bringing up a family, tell me honestly how many women of these modern days actually possess them? They are extra sensitive, demand the world from their guy. Mere economic independence gives them so much ego, that they treat their husband with disdain. I know of family where both brother( an IT professional ) and sister who was a call center employee work. The girl was treated with so much care and adored that she is earning and she gives less than 10% of her earning to their parents to run the house. But this guy who gives more than 90% of his salary to run the family. I mean, where is the equality?

The roles may not be the same for each gender. Sometimes husband plays house keeper while some other time wife can play. But there is nothing to go gaga about pain. A family is supposed to be a place of joy. If I go home and my wife starts battering me with the "pain" inflicted on her, I will desist from going home. The moment either one feels that it is pain playing a role, means that there is friction. In families that are going good, the friction disappears soon. In some families it does not and keeps on building causing a breakdown.

I personally dont feel it is a pain to earn for my son or my wife. I expect the same from my wife that she does not think it is pain to make food for me or taking care of my son. If women can think it is a pain, so are the guys too.

Cheers.

sri_gan
12-30-2003, 09:58 PM
Shy Aunty,

Broader or Petty an issues is a Issue, A petty Issue could hunt the entire family down so easily aunty. Issue le broader enna potti enna... ellame issue than.

Pain and Suffering is not only for women, it is for both the genders.

Amabala payyan vellaikku pogatti asingam nu namma society sollum, who is this society to compell a person to work? Athukku ellam muttikittalum answer kidaikathu.

sWEEtmICHe
01-03-2004, 03:07 AM
hieeeeee fRIENDs,
I can see various ideas, thoughts, experiences, and comments...
Great...but the fact is still women suffers more than man...http://www.ithayavany.com/*~flash~*/forum/images/smiles/eusa_whistle.gif
Thanks vasan most of ur points and really good,'
Like a collection in a library. Ur words speakshttp://www.ithayavany.com/*~flash~*/forum/images/smiles/new_Eyecrazy.gif and i admire u, and for shy u are good but always very disagreement never concur...is good give a hand http://www.ithayavany.com/*~flash~*/forum/images/smiles/eusa_clap.gif, u tried and alot of opposing came by ma dearest sri ma buddy...good work keep up!!...anainar. thanks for been so bold to share Ur family happenings!!...A good examples u brought, this is very useful for us also, cuz most of will be going thru soon.... at least we are aware...thanks dude.http://www.ithayavany.com/*~flash~*/forum/images/smiles/new_tomato.gif Butterfly is always neutral and she is abeauty always has pros and cons...cheers!!http://www.ithayavany.com/*~flash~*/forum/images/smiles/new_monalisa.gif Again vasan why the gal avatar, how to address u ma fREINd .hehe...And sri ..u are always the best ponder...and clever to smoothe with words in a jovial manner.....super ma buddy!! hats off salute.....http://www.ithayavany.com/*~flash~*/forum/images/smiles/new_smile-l.gif
Thanks for all...hope silicon, thiru, gsatnan, surya, venky, sebashan.meena.. will share and we hope we can participate more on this issue, shy thanks been always very sporty!
I am sorry if I have hurt anyone……plz forgive mICHe http://www.ithayavany.com/*~flash~*/forum/images/smiles/eusa_silenced.gif
Happy New Year
Wishing you a year full of happiness days !!http://www.ithayavany.com/*~flash~*/forum/images/smiles/new_bat_angel.gif

vasan
01-03-2004, 03:39 AM
Sweet Miche,

You are like the sweet-vidalia-onions! Wrapped around in so many layers - with no commas and full stops!! By the time I finish and see I am about as much confused as a blind American in the middle of China!! Yennai nalla confuse panniye kollanum-nu mudivaa Sweet? :lol: :lol:

Yenna solla vareenga ippo? Do you agree with what I have posted? Some places in your post you say good things about what I have written. And I liked all the 'praise' words you used in describing my post... :D You should post more such things, it does good for my pride.. :lol: :lol: :lol:

Anyways, thanks for your post.. Please note Mich - I am only partly joking here... I would really really appreciate reading some posts with at least some workable punctuation. Don't confuse me, miche, peaaach... :pray: :pray::pray:

Thanks and Happy New Year...

Vasan


hieeeeee fRIENDs,
Thanks vasan most of ur points and really good,'
Like a collection in a library. Ur words speaks
and i admire u, and for shy u are good but always very disagreement never concur...is good give a hand , u tried and alot of opposing came by ma dearest sri ma buddy...good work keep up!!...anainar. thanks for been so bold to share Ur family happenings!!...A good examples u brought, this is very useful for us also, cuz most of will be going thru soon.... at least we are aware...thanks dude. Butterfly is always neutral and she is a beauty always has pros and cons...cheers!! Again vasan why the gal avatar, how to address u ma fREINd .hehe..
I am sorry if I have hurt anyone……plz forgive mICHe !!
ps: ma fREINd mICHe, I put a girl in my avatar purposely to confuse you :lol: :lol: You can address me either as mr. vasan or as ms. vasan... :lol: :lol:

sWEEtmICHe
01-03-2004, 04:36 AM
Thanks vasan most of ur points and really good,'
Like a collection in a library. Ur words speaks and i admire u
I always admire ur words........words with wisdom....
u must have alot of general knowledge[genius]..i studied ur posts/threads
i think so ..hehee.......haaaaaa
is true ma sweet vasan....plzzzzzz..change ur avatar......
http://www.ithayavany.com/*~flash~*/forum/images/smiles/new_snipersmilie.gifi hate guys putting such femine pix.. u are bold in words not in avatar...
got it ma chella vasan plzzzzzzzz......bye

sWEEtmICHe
02-05-2004, 03:02 PM
Pain & Suffering are only for women?

still the suffering continues........?

sagi
02-20-2004, 09:42 AM
Nop thats not true sweet. pain is the same for both guys abd girls. It depends on individuals....whether they be honest to thier partner or not......

Abhinaya
02-20-2004, 04:41 PM
well...i agree that pain is for both men and women. But i stongly feel that it is more for women. First is the pain given to her by nature and second by circumstances. Women are more emotionally bound...i do not say that men do not have emotions. But women are much more sensitive.
There was discussion by someone in the previous posts about life in India and in North Amercia. A newly married girl who lives in India does not have to face much struggle compared to a girl who has to move to a foreign country after marriage. Forget about in-laws as nowadays not many of them live with their in-laws.

Let us take for example a new married housewife.....All girls feel homesick after marriage. They get emotional and start crying over small things. When she is in India, there are a lot of people around her ( i am not talking about family and relatives). It is very easy to make friends with neighbours and also she can move about easily....life is more lively out there.

But when she is new in a foreign country..say North America...life is totally new. People here do not talk so easily. You might not even come to know who ur neighbours are....nobody even knocks on ur door. The husband is busy with his job. She has to keep urself occupied in some way or the other...and another main factor is the climate. For more than half of the year, u cannot go out for walks on the road. U just end up looking out at snow sticking ur face on the glass panes. SO in such a case, the girl feels all the more homesick. It takes quite some time for her to get adjusted to life here. Once she has a job or kids, fine....

Moreover when u are in india, u can go anytime to ur parents' place or maybe they can come over easily. But for those away from India, neither ur parents nor u can visit each other any time u wish. It all requires so much of planning and big visa process and all.

Anyway..i was just penning down some thoughts....

dinesh
02-20-2004, 04:56 PM
There was discussion by someone in the previous posts about life in India and in North Amercia. A newly married girl who lives in India does not have to face much struggle compared to a girl who has to move to a foreign country after marriage. Forget about in-laws as nowadays not many of them live with their in-laws.

More than everything else, the immigration culture in our societies do NOT give any thought about the emotions of the woman concerned. Think of a girl who was freely doing what she liked suddenly dropped in the middle of nowhere. And with her husband away most of the day, how can one expect her to lead a normal lives in an environment which is totally alien to her and will not understand her feelings?

Everybody thinks of marrying a nice homely woman and take her to the US to cook their food, but how manty people really think what sort of an impact will that have in her lifestyle? And we are talking about women who were brought up in traditional environments and are naturally shy. How many men actually think about making her life a at least a bit enjoyable?

It can easily be written off as another chapter in the enslavement of women in our societies, but in the longer term this is a very dangerous situation. They say that an idle mind is the playground of Satan, or something......

Anyway, this goes on to show how the feelings of women are still not given any consideration even in these modern times in our societies. And I can draw a comparison with an occurence of a friend of mine, who is from UK and, and whose brother chose to move to Sydney cos his girlfriend was from there and she wanted to go back to her place! How many of our guys would do that? :sm12:

gokulan42
02-20-2004, 05:15 PM
Nop thats not true sweet. pain is the same for both guys abd girls. It depends on individuals....whether they be honest to thier partner or not......

I disagree. As we all know, pain is very much what your brain thinks it is. IMO, Guys can bear the physican pain much better than the females :) Females are better at other pains (broken love affects guys more than gals).

sagi
02-21-2004, 02:48 AM
yoooovvvv gokulan. naan sonnathaiya vera wordingla sollringala????

gokulan42
02-21-2004, 03:00 AM
yoooovvvv gokulan. naan sonnathaiya vera wordingla sollringala????
Oh no, its not one among those marketing tricks :)

I thought I was talking in medical sense. However, intha mathuri scold panna mothu, please PM me and avoid do it in public :)

sagi
02-21-2004, 03:16 AM
ok ok...polaichchuppongo. inimel pm laye thitturen... ;)

sWEEtmICHe
02-22-2004, 06:13 PM
sagi wrote:
yoooovvvv gokulan. naan sonnathaiya vera wordingla sollringala????
well said sagi......
http://www.tamilterra.com/forum/images/smiles/icon_arrow.gifhttp://www.tamilterra.com/forum/images/smiles/icon_arrow.gifhttp://www.tamilterra.com/forum/images/smiles/icon_arrow.gifhttp://www.tamilterra.com/forum/images/smiles/icon_arrow.gifhttp://www.tamilterra.com/forum/images/smiles/icon_arrow.gifhttp://www.tamilterra.com/forum/images/smiles/icon_arrow.gif

gokulan42
02-22-2004, 06:35 PM
sagi wrote:
yoooovvvv gokulan. naan sonnathaiya vera wordingla sollringala????
well said sagi......
http://www.tamilterra.com/forum/images/smiles/icon_arrow.gifhttp://www.tamilterra.com/forum/images/smiles/icon_arrow.gifhttp://www.tamilterra.com/forum/images/smiles/icon_arrow.gifhttp://www.tamilterra.com/forum/images/smiles/icon_arrow.gifhttp://www.tamilterra.com/forum/images/smiles/icon_arrow.gifhttp://www.tamilterra.com/forum/images/smiles/icon_arrow.gif

Hey, Sagi became my friend after this post. We PM regularly.

Sweety, dont worry about it ;)

sWEEtmICHe
02-22-2004, 06:41 PM
sagi plz take note,

Atlast, you got it right & straight. I am a dumb and innocent. Please, spread the word :ahha:

Shy
02-22-2004, 06:48 PM
Abhinaya,

Welcome to Geetham. Hope u enjoy here :) UR points are very true..nice thoughts!!!! Do participate actively :)

See u around !!!

Shy

gokulan42
02-22-2004, 07:17 PM
sagi plz take note,

Atlast, you got it right & straight. I am a dumb and innocent. Please, spread the word :ahha:
Taking notes is very important :)
Sweety, you are great ;)

sagi
02-23-2004, 03:29 AM
ok i did take note of that point with RED PEN and made a DOUBLE underline ;)
guku ;) naan thoongittu varathukkulle ethanai adi vaanginingal ;)

gokulan42
02-23-2004, 04:34 AM
ok i did take note of that point with RED PEN and made a DOUBLE underline ;)
guku ;) naan thoongittu varathukkulle ethanai adi vaanginingal ;)
Not even one :) Why do you have that doubt?

sagi
02-23-2004, 05:07 AM
illa..yarooo help help endu kathina pola irunthichu....chumma ketten ;)

sWEEtmICHe
03-16-2004, 05:44 PM
STILL........PAIN & SUFFERING ARE ONLY WOMAN ? :think: