PDA

View Full Version : Long Distance Relationship



san2003
01-26-2004, 08:14 AM
hey guys... new topic
wat u guys and gals think about long distance relationships? does it work? does it last? can it happen?

i have frens who have failed in long distance relationship and some frens who r still in long distance relationship.

wat u guys n gals think? any experiences? share your thoughts about it

sabeshan
01-26-2004, 09:18 AM
depends on the couple.... if their love is strong and true... it will hold out even if they are in earth and mars....

san2003
01-26-2004, 09:48 AM
depends on the couple.... if their love is strong and true... it will hold out even if they are in earth and mars....its true if love is strong and true.... but isn't distance a factor?
there can be trust but will it last long?

sabeshan
01-26-2004, 09:50 AM
of course there have to be some contacts occasionally or else it will be a classic case of "outta sight, outta mind"

malicka
01-26-2004, 09:59 AM
Hay there is nothing like LOVE is Strong or soft its mutual understating b/w there partners
as friendship is concerend irrespect of sex it continues even they are far without any communication but when they meet after year or 2 friendship still stonger
but as lovers how many of them can wait like that .
If that happen then there parents wld have known earlier .If not in most cases both select there way .Its not gal/guy affected .Now things have changed & all r @ ec go :D

san2003
01-26-2004, 10:08 AM
hi malicka
so r u saying that long distance relationship would not last long like friends who do not see each other for years?

Honeyarjun
01-27-2004, 02:40 PM
I dont agree with malicka..
Distance doesnt matter when the love is true.. If the lovers dont have the patience to wait... then how can they call it LOVE first of all???? Its not love...just a timepass where u can spend time together when u see each other and leave them when u dont see each other...

Comenaughty
01-28-2004, 12:11 AM
Hay there is nothing like LOVE is Strong or soft its mutual understating b/w there partners
as friendship is concerend irrespect of sex it continues even they are far without any communication but when they meet after year or 2 friendship still stonger
but as lovers how many of them can wait like that .
If that happen then there parents wld have known earlier .If not in most cases both select there way .Its not gal/guy affected .Now things have changed & all r @ ec go :D

malicka
i disagree with ur views totally and the earlier view questioning about trust.... i dont know whether u can classify love as strong or soft...but u can definitely classify as how deep and to what extent.... if its deep love, the trust comes automatically...... if you dont trust ur partner, theres something wrong somewhere!!!! a relationship is built on trust.... love, marriage, friendship everything..... the amount of trust depends how much u hold for a particular individual!

with technology, u have 101 means to communicate... only the physcial presence next to u cannot be felt.... but for that, forgetting a relationship just goes on to show the relationship was entirely TO SATISFY PHYSICAL PLEASURES!!!!

naughty

san2003
01-28-2004, 05:05 AM
i agree with u comenaught but at times lovers want to be together, holding hands, hugging and keeping company... in physical terms? we r still humans ...rite? .... so at that time can the long distance help?
wat i think is ... a person need to be face to face...... even in friendship..... if u dun get to see that person a long time... u tend to miss the person so much... this is the person u love and trust..... dun u wan to be wif him/her at all times... in ur happy and sad times?

madhu_aish1
01-28-2004, 05:26 AM
san .. Unga ISD Bill evalo varum :sm12: :sm12: :sm12: :sm12: atha vachi naan solluren how strong ur long distance relationship...

First of all. In this context ..wht do u mean by relationship ..freinds or love.. :think: :think: I assume it to be friendship and continuing..if it is abt love ..oops then it is not my cup of coffee ..Disregard my remaining post... :D

We have already discussed a lot abt online relationship...but this is more cornered topic.

Here I go... :D

Practically thinking .. unless you meet the person or take it a level more than what it is now..the Relationship tends to cease with respect to time... This is simple fact which i have faced considerable number of times.. I used to go to internet cafes when they were introduced in my cities... Made a lot of friends (around 25 - 30 ) from all over the world .. but if I see my current friends list... I have pruned it to 2 nos.. and the worst thing is I dont remember both of them :( . It may look pathetic from my part , but this is what has happened... But one notable point is difference in the level of maturity between the stages in life.. This kind of redundancy no longer exist in my life coz.. have learnt many lessons.. :D .... :b:

Have I confused you ... Then i Would like to toast "MISSION ACCOMPLISHED" :lol: :lol: :lol:

Comenaughty
01-28-2004, 05:31 AM
madhu,
my point of argument was assuming an already existing relationship..... and i was arguing whether such a relationship will last if the concerned persons are going be separatedfor a period of time.....

and san,
thinking of long term, theres nothing wrong in waiting for an year or two, rather than suffering from wounds resulting from a split due to distance.....

naughty

san2003
01-28-2004, 06:58 AM
madhu, when i refer to long distance relationship.... it is about 2 lovers... probably lovers seperated on their own ways for study or work purposes or have known each other for long time and then become couple.... even online relationship.... its about every kinda relationship.. not mainly online ones... ok va? thanx for ur point of view anyway

and naughty....as u said... ongoing relationships... will they last long in far distance even if their love is strong and steady?
coming to think about it.... i agree wif u in some way.... when u say long term... i see wife's waiting for their husbands after few yrs workin overseas ... so why can't a lover do that?... r u trying to say that as well?
another thing is.... r u sayin is better to feel pain of distance rather than spliting? but they are same feeling rite?... a feeling of lost, a feeling of emptyness???

madhu_aish1
01-28-2004, 07:02 AM
madhu, when i refer to long distance relationship.... it is about 2 lovers... probably lovers seperated on their own ways for study or work purposes or have known each other for long time and then become couple.... even online relationship.... its about every kinda relationship.. not mainly online ones... ok va? thanx for ur point of view anyway


San kannu ..thanks maa... :D Now i got the point.. My posting is a total waste in reference to your context :? :? But i did confuse you ... :lol: :lol: :lol:

Comenaughty
01-28-2004, 07:16 AM
r u sayin is better to feel pain of distance rather than spliting? but they are same feeling rite?... a feeling of lost, a feeling of emptyness???


when you know that the pain of distance is not going to last long, its ok.... but splitting is an indelible scar..... once again, its upto individuals, how much a split will hurt them....

and by separation, i meant something like people who have gone abroad just for short term work purpose or people who have their partners studyign in india , while they are studying abroad and whole lot of other combinations...its not necessarily husband whos gone abroad to earn bread..... coz even in lovers' who have decided on long term plans, it does make sense to wait as one knows if not today, after 1 or 2 or 3 years, they WILL be united..!!

hope i made it clear now
naughty

san2003
01-28-2004, 07:48 AM
hey madhu.... ur post is not a waste.... u had good points :) n i dun think u confused me :) if u did... ill tell u .. ok va?

naughty... thanx for making it clear..... i agree wif u... but i do have other doubts...forget that.... thanx for ur thoughts naughty :)

i would also like anyone who has this kinda experience to share... to be more interesting.... any views anybody?

Minnie
01-28-2004, 03:35 PM
i dont thinkdistant relations last,as one of my friend had the bitter exerperience with her lover who is in India.Their love was something like very strong i can say,they are in love with each other still but as you know in long distant love only the words are the barrier,it started with a small misunderstanding and now it has grown up like anything that even if they wish to talk to each other,somewhere something is stopping them.Both just gives blank calls only.and still continuing the name love without talking to each other.The funniest thing is they havent seen each other yet,before that this all happened.

san2003
01-28-2004, 03:53 PM
it started with a small misunderstanding and now it has grown up like anything that even if they wish to talk to each other

i agree with that.. i had a fren...she n her boyfren knew for long time.. durin their relationships there were ups n downs... when the bf went overseas... the relationship became worst... more fights and quarrels.... sometimes dun talk to each other.... the worst part was.. the guy had spies to watch her? wats that man? no trust there? wat happen to the trust which used to be when they were together? rite ah elleya?

Honeyarjun
01-29-2004, 08:54 PM
okay.. I will share a real time experience..

I know a person ,a girl , who was waiting for 8 yrs to get married with the person she fell in love with..In that 8 yrs, the last 4 yrs was a long-term one..They did see each other only 2 times in that 4 yr period. The waiting period included getting permission from their parents and relatives for the marriage and the guy's preparation part to lead a life(studies and job).

After a long wait with lots of trust on each other..they are happily married now.......

This is an example is to show distance doesnt matter when the love is true . Trust is the main factor in love. In the ex I gave above,the guy had numerous chances to meet new girls in life....but the girl trusted him with all her heart.. Thats why they ended up in marriage and are happy now...

san2003
01-30-2004, 06:16 AM
thanx honeyarjun for that example


This is an example is to show distance doesnt matter when the love is true . Trust is the main factor in love.

i think it is true wat u said... distance doesn't matter... its how strong the love n bond between the lovers.... ive realised that :) thanx alot

sagi
02-20-2004, 08:08 AM
yeap....depends on the couple....but somehow even very understanding couple go to hell due to DISTANCE....less understanding.... ahrrrrr naanum kolambhi ungalaiyum kolapirana?? sorry

san2003
02-20-2004, 01:09 PM
yeap....depends on the couple....but somehow even very understanding couple go to hell due to DISTANCE....less understanding.... ahrrrrr naanum kolambhi ungalaiyum kolapirana?? sorryhehe... dun worry.. neenga ennaiya confuse akkalae :) hehe.... u dun be confuse also ;)

gokulan42
02-20-2004, 04:37 PM
depends on the couple.... if their love is strong and true... it will hold out even if they are in earth and mars....

I know I am going to get sticks from lots of folks here. But, hey what is the fun without those ;)

It has to be realistic. Earth & Mars can be good, if shown in movies but cannot work in real life (particularly if it takes time). If you are parted/separated for certain time, chances are there (how little it may be) for one of them to move on and find a better love to settle. It is same as a permanent separation (death or divoorce). I am practical here :)

unique
02-20-2004, 07:59 PM
Honeyarjun wrote


okay.. I will share a real time experience..

I know a person ,a girl , who was waiting for 8 yrs to get married with the person she fell in love with..In that 8 yrs, the last 4 yrs was a long-term one..They did see each other only 2 times in that 4 yr period. The waiting period included getting permission from their parents and relatives for the marriage and the guy's preparation part to lead a life(studies and job).

After a long wait with lots of trust on each other..they are happily married now.......

This is an example is to show distance doesnt matter when the love is true . Trust is the main factor in love. In the ex I gave above,the guy had numerous chances to meet new girls in life....but the girl trusted him with all her heart.. Thats why they ended up in marriage and are happy now...



This might be true but not in all cases. In this case they both took a firm stand,decided to inform their parents,convince them etc etc... But andha maadhiri evalavu cases irukku sollunga. True love irukalam othukaren,ippolam naerukku naer paarthundu love pannumpodhe aayiram misunderstanding adhu idhunu varudhu. So longdistance relation i doubt. Not necessarily ella longdistance love will be a failure there r exceptions to,but mukavaasi fail.

Honeyarjun
02-21-2004, 02:17 PM
Yes Unique..I do agree with you...not all the long distance relationships come out well... but people were speaking like there is no such thing like long distance relationships... here is a sample from malicka..



Hay there is nothing like LOVE is Strong or soft its mutual understating b/w there partners
as friendship is concerend irrespect of sex it continues even they are far without any communication but when they meet after year or friendship still stonger
but as lovers how many of them can wait like that . If that happen then there parents wld have known earlier .If not in most cases both select there way .Its not gal/guy affected .Now things have changed & all r @ ec go


Thats why I wanted to come out and share this realtime experience.. But I do agree with you..most of the long distance relationships fail..I have seen them too. In general...It depends upon the couple..and how strong their love is....

anainar
02-21-2004, 02:31 PM
Gokul,

Cool statements dude. If any one comes with sticks, dont worry, I have my sword too. :wink: What is love without a few :wink: It is heartening to see such a practical guy around. The whole concept of love is so eulogised that it brings Mars and Earth to an earthly feeling of love. We dont even know whether there are any living beings in Mars, let alone whether they have a feeling called love.

People fall in love for some reason or the other. Being away is a serious deterrent to fall in love. If the long distance love is sustained, it will be because of a clear timeline of when they will unite. If not, that relationship will breakdown inevitably. It is pracitcally not possible to love a person till death and still stay away from him/her.

Cheers

gokulan42
02-21-2004, 03:44 PM
People fall in love for some reason or the other. Being away is a serious deterrent to fall in love. If the long distance love is sustained, it will be because of a clear timeline of when they will unite. If not, that relationship will breakdown inevitably. It is pracitcally not possible to love a person till death and still stay away from him/her.

Cheers
Anainar, you are more blunt than me :) I agree with you.

On the same note, can somebody define love in simple terms?

moviefreak
02-21-2004, 09:37 PM
In some cases, long distance relationship helps build the relationship more stronger. When two people who know each other live in different places, the present technological infrastructures like chat, vedio chat etc strengthens the curiosity and intrest towards the other person, especially when they know that they would be meeting sometime again. That way, the relationship strengthens converting itself to a more stroger love and affection. Its like when you are away from something, you understand the importance of it. I am not saying this is common, but this too happens in world :-)

san2003
02-22-2004, 01:53 PM
I am not saying this is common, but this too happens in world


its true... it can't be said is common... but it happens... probably one in a million people.... very very rare

sagi
02-23-2004, 06:42 AM
On the same note, can somebody define love in simple terms?

athukku artham therinja thaan naang aellarum eppavo uruppattu iruppeme ;)

gokulan42
02-23-2004, 03:30 PM
On the same note, can somebody define love in simple terms?

athukku artham therinja thaan naang aellarum eppavo uruppattu iruppeme ;)
You dont even know about love and you are discussing long distance relationship :) Pretty good

Shy
02-23-2004, 04:26 PM
Long distance'oo short distance'oo ellai kuudavae irukaangaloo.. It all depends on their intensity of love. The will be togther, living together or married.. but their heart will be miles apart.. Also USAla guy irupaan, this girl will be in some village waiting for that guy.. their love will be hard rock...

So it all depends on how much u love. Time, distance other hurdles doesnt matter if ur love is true !!!!

Shy

unique
02-23-2004, 04:38 PM
On the same note, can somebody define love in simple terms?

athukku artham therinja thaan naang aellarum eppavo uruppattu iruppeme ;)

Love is really difficult to define.....Can we define GOD......adhe maadhiri thaan love ....Nobody can say that this is how u fall in love....it all happens without our knowledge......

Shy

Once they r committed appo venumna Long distance relation will work out(but adhuvum 100%,work aagumnu solla mudiyaadhu). Even if u love someone deeply,intensely there r chances that u r long distance realtionship might break

gokulan42
02-23-2004, 04:51 PM
Love is really difficult to define.....Can we define GOD......adhe maadhiri thaan love ....Nobody can say that this is how u fall in love....it all happens without our knowledge......


Unique, My question was more in this lines. Lets say love happens to me without my knowledge. How do I feel different than what I felt whan was in the adoloscent stage, or the first few months of marriage (where u always fly) or infatuation or the one you feel once in a while for Zeta-jones, priyanka chopra,... ;)

Defining god is easy. However, it is indeed difficult not to have hurt somebody's values in the process (there are too many religions and too many believes within those).

unique
02-23-2004, 05:11 PM
Love is really difficult to define.....Can we define GOD......adhe maadhiri thaan love ....Nobody can say that this is how u fall in love....it all happens without our knowledge......


Unique, My question was more in this lines. Lets say love happens to me without my knowledge. How do I feel different than what I felt whan was in the adoloscent stage, or the first few months of marriage (where u always fly) or infatuation or the one you feel once in a while for Zeta-jones, priyanka chopra,... ;)

Defining god is easy. However, it is indeed difficult not to have hurt somebody's values in the process (there are too many religions and too many believes within those).


Infactutation is totally diff from Love(u wuld ve be knowing that). Infactuation is a temporary thing,but love is not so.........Aparam first few months of marriage thaan u ll feel love huh adhukaparam love irukaadha.(irukanga unga wife ai idhai padika sollanam).

See defining GOD easy nu sollitu aparam it is indeed difficult not to have hurt somebody s values in the proceesnu sollareenga........so that s not a easy task right.......

Shy
02-23-2004, 05:19 PM
On the same note, can somebody define love in simple terms?

athukku artham therinja thaan naang aellarum eppavo uruppattu iruppeme ;)

Love is really difficult to define.....Can we define GOD......adhe maadhiri thaan love ....Nobody can say that this is how u fall in love....it all happens without our knowledge......

Shy

Once they r committed appo venumna Long distance relation will work out(but adhuvum 100%,work aagumnu solla mudiyaadhu). Even if u love someone deeply,intensely there r chances that u r long distance realtionship might break

Unique.. reasons sollunga.. Oru girl and guy are deeply in love and that guy had to go abroad. Epapdi break aaga chances irukkum ????

Shy

gokulan42
02-23-2004, 05:22 PM
Aparam first few months of marriage thaan u ll feel love huh adhukaparam love irukaadha.(irukanga unga wife ai idhai padika sollanam).


Something told me not to debate with you ;) Good catch.

But ;), what I meant is that first few months you feel like flying all the time (where is earth), after that love would be there (ofcourse) but a matured love (no more foolishness).

unique
02-23-2004, 05:25 PM
Aparam first few months of marriage thaan u ll feel love huh adhukaparam love irukaadha.(irukanga unga wife ai idhai padika sollanam).


Something told me not to debate with you ;) Good catch.

But ;), what I meant is that first few months you feel like flying all the time (where is earth), after that love would be there (ofcourse) but a matured love (no more foolishness).

Well that matured love is wat is important right which ll keep the family in tact......

gokulan42
02-23-2004, 05:26 PM
On the same note, can somebody define love in simple terms?

athukku artham therinja thaan naang aellarum eppavo uruppattu iruppeme ;)

Love is really difficult to define.....Can we define GOD......adhe maadhiri thaan love ....Nobody can say that this is how u fall in love....it all happens without our knowledge......

Shy

Once they r committed appo venumna Long distance relation will work out(but adhuvum 100%,work aagumnu solla mudiyaadhu). Even if u love someone deeply,intensely there r chances that u r long distance realtionship might break

Unique.. reasons sollunga.. Oru girl and guy are deeply in love and that guy had to go abroad. Epapdi break aaga chances irukkum ????

Shy

Sabash! sariyana potti.

Unique, reasons chollunga. Namma Shy kekkuranga.

Shy, vudatheenga.

Lets see who wins this battle ;) :P :cool: :ee:

unique
02-23-2004, 05:37 PM
On the same note, can somebody define love in simple terms?

athukku artham therinja thaan naang aellarum eppavo uruppattu iruppeme ;)

Love is really difficult to define.....Can we define GOD......adhe maadhiri thaan love ....Nobody can say that this is how u fall in love....it all happens without our knowledge......

Shy

Once they r committed appo venumna Long distance relation will work out(but adhuvum 100%,work aagumnu solla mudiyaadhu). Even if u love someone deeply,intensely there r chances that u r long distance realtionship might break

Unique.. reasons sollunga.. Oru girl and guy are deeply in love and that guy had to go abroad. Epapdi break aaga chances irukkum ????

Shy

Shy

It all depends on the situations....well am not able to pinpoint a specific reason now......Also am saying not all Long distance relations fail n not all Long distance relationships succeed(its a fifty fifty chances). Mainly it depends on faith they have for eachother......slight spark can cause a heavy damage,adhu maadhiri thaan idhuvum....oru slight misunderstanding vandhalum avalavuthaan.....moreover they don t see eachother for quiet sometime so serndhu pesi problem solve pannarathukkum vaaiypu illai......This relation wuld be a fragile one...have to handle with care.....since they r both away from eachother......

Indha longdistance relationship la u cannot bring in Husband n wife cos they r already commited.......moreover their parents r with them to supprot.....

unique
02-23-2004, 05:41 PM
On the same note, can somebody define love in simple terms?

athukku artham therinja thaan naang aellarum eppavo uruppattu iruppeme ;)

Love is really difficult to define.....Can we define GOD......adhe maadhiri thaan love ....Nobody can say that this is how u fall in love....it all happens without our knowledge......

Shy

Once they r committed appo venumna Long distance relation will work out(but adhuvum 100%,work aagumnu solla mudiyaadhu). Even if u love someone deeply,intensely there r chances that u r long distance realtionship might break

Unique.. reasons sollunga.. Oru girl and guy are deeply in love and that guy had to go abroad. Epapdi break aaga chances irukkum ????

Shy

Sabash! sariyana potti.

Unique, reasons chollunga. Namma Shy kekkuranga.

Shy, vudatheenga.

Lets see who wins this battle ;) :P :cool: :ee:


Bayangaramana aala irukeenga....Ushaara odhingitu rendu perukkum sindu mudinju vidareengala. :fight: .......adhu nadakaadhu naan amaidhiya poyiduven

Shy
02-23-2004, 06:48 PM
It all depends on the situations....well am not able to pinpoint a specific reason now......Also am saying not all Long distance relations fail n not all Long distance relationships succeed(its a fifty fifty chances). Mainly it depends on faith they have for eachother......

Exactly.. athai thaan naanum solraen long distance'oo short distance'oo..true love, mukiyamaa trsut irukanum... koodaavae irunthu 4 girlsa at a time maintain panra aalunga kuuda irukaanga tehriyumma??? no whatever distance it may be..if u have trust towards each other and tru love nothign can come in between !!!!


slight spark can cause a heavy damage,adhu maadhiri thaan idhuvum....oru slight misunderstanding vandhalum avalavuthaan.....moreover they don t see eachother for quiet sometime so serndhu pesi problem solve pannarathukkum vaaiypu illai......This relation wuld be a fragile one...have to handle with care.....since they r both away from eachother......\

No unique... Thats not the only point.. appo misunderstanding varuthunaa.. either u did not have faith in ur partner or simply are impatient with urself that start finding faulth in everything.
Problem 24 hrs phonela kuuda we can solve unique..vicinity mukiyam ellai.. manasu thaan.


Indha longdistance relationship la u cannot bring in Husband n wife cos they r already commited.......moreover their parents r with them to supprot.....

Nope.. Long distance relationship also includes a husband working in some far of place and wife with his family back in home country :) U must be aware that many husbands working in dubai have theri wife back in India... thats long distance realtionship.. Afterall marriage is itself by a relationship thaanae :) but enna thats the only one legally approved ;)!!!

So by all means u can compare married couple if they are far away from each other too :)

Just because they are commited and legally bound it doesnt mean there wont be any friction in their marriage life.. apapdi iruntha divorce'nu oru conceptae irukaathae !!!!

Shy

unique
02-23-2004, 07:19 PM
It all depends on the situations....well am not able to pinpoint a specific reason now......Also am saying not all Long distance relations fail n not all Long distance relationships succeed(its a fifty fifty chances). Mainly it depends on faith they have for eachother......

Exactly.. athai thaan naanum solraen long distance'oo short distance'oo..true love, mukiyamaa trsut irukanum... koodaavae irunthu 4 girlsa at a time maintain panra aalunga kuuda irukaanga tehriyumma??? no whatever distance it may be..if u have trust towards each other and tru love nothign can come in between !!!!


slight spark can cause a heavy damage,adhu maadhiri thaan idhuvum....oru slight misunderstanding vandhalum avalavuthaan.....moreover they don t see eachother for quiet sometime so serndhu pesi problem solve pannarathukkum vaaiypu illai......This relation wuld be a fragile one...have to handle with care.....since they r both away from eachother......\

No unique... Thats not the only point.. appo misunderstanding varuthunaa.. either u did not have faith in ur partner or simply are impatient with urself that start finding faulth in everything.
Problem 24 hrs phonela kuuda we can solve unique..vicinity mukiyam ellai.. manasu thaan.


Indha longdistance relationship la u cannot bring in Husband n wife cos they r already commited.......moreover their parents r with them to supprot.....

Nope.. Long distance relationship also includes a husband working in some far of place and wife with his family back in home country :) U must be aware that many husbands working in dubai have theri wife back in India... thats long distance realtionship.. Afterall marriage is itself by a relationship thaanae :) but enna thats the only one legally approved ;)!!!

So by all means u can compare married couple if they are far away from each other too :)

Just because they are commited and legally bound it doesnt mean there wont be any friction in their marriage life.. apapdi iruntha divorce'nu oru conceptae irukaathae !!!!

Shy

Husband n wife kulla divorce not necessarily had to be cos of Long distance relationship illaiya....pakathuleye irundhum that can happen...wat i meant is in husband n wife relation u have someone, say husbands parents or the girls parents to back u up.....

But when it comes to lovers andha maadhiri nadaka chance illai,unless both the parents know abt this etc....Phoneleye pesareenga oru naalaiku evalavu neram pesindu irupeenga.....moreover it is not like local phone calls.....

Actually naan college la padikum podhu i had a friend who was in love,infact that guy was residing right below her house,rendu perum well to do family....romba sincere love..they trusted eachother very much....that guy came to US to do his higher studies......vandhu konjam naaleye i culd find some changes in my friend...when i asked her abt this she said that we broke up nu.....she is a trustworthy person so was that guy....so even though they blved in eachother it did nt work out,that guy used to call her every week when he went there,aparam konjam naal aaga aaga that got reduced....so dunno know wat went wrong for the relationship to end...........It actually depends on situation n people.....

Shy
02-23-2004, 07:56 PM
Husband n wife kulla divorce not necessarily had to be cos of Long distance relationship illaiya....pakathuleye irundhum that can happen...wat i meant is in husband n wife relation u have someone, say husbands parents or the girls parents to back u up.....

So appo u accept distance doenst matter right... distance ennava irunthaalum once if u have that strain between u and doesnt like the company of the other.. then thats the end of the relationship right??? Rendu side parentsum.. enna convince panninaalum.. when the couple is stubborn not to be toegther.. then what can they do sollunga. This is life.. just because of parents pursual u cant be with a person u hate to the core can we???


But when it comes to lovers andha maadhiri nadaka chance illai,unless both the parents know abt this etc....Phoneleye pesareenga oru naalaiku evalavu neram pesindu irupeenga.....moreover it is not like local phone calls.....

Unique many of my friends have their girl back in India.. u know they spend $500 - $1000 monthly just for the phone service... Money enna expense aanaalum.. avakuuda paesurathu thaan important'a irukkum coz "I miss u so much" wordsooda actual meaning avangalukku thaan theriyum :).. plus this all applies only if they are in true love.. chumma indiala sutheetu engae vanthu irukaranga wont be the same :)


Actually naan college la padikum podhu i had a friend who was in love,infact that guy was residing right below her house,rendu perum well to do family....romba sincere love..they trusted eachother very much....that guy came to US to do his higher studies......vandhu konjam naaleye i culd find some changes in my friend...when i asked her abt this she said that we broke up nu.....she is a trustworthy person so was that guy....so even though they blved in eachother it did nt work out,that guy used to call her every week when he went there,aparam konjam naal aaga aaga that got reduced....so dunno know wat went wrong for the relationship to end...........It actually depends on situation n people..

romba correcta soli irukeenga.. rendu paerum trustworthy and love pannindu irunthu irukalaam.. but what made them break the relationship is still mysterious. Also engae irunthamatum avanga successfula irunthu irupaangalaanu paathaalum athuvum questionmark...
so it all depends how much deeply they love, understand, trust each other. How intimate they are.. ellam matters... but not the distance :nono: :nono:

Shy

Abhinaya
02-23-2004, 11:52 PM
I have a question here...

All of us know about ups and downs in arranged marriages....ok u do not know each other very well, get to meet just a little before the wedding, etc etc etc . We all know that marriage is not easy and requires a lot of adjustment from both of them.

Love marriages have become very common now. People say they prefer love marriages because the two people know each other well, know each other's likes and dislikes, blah blah.
But even then why is it that so many love marriages break up so soon??
We can say an arranged marriage didn't work, but why do so many love marriages also end up in divorce?

How can we be sure that the person whom we love is telling the truth ...or i should say that people often put on their best behaviours to impress the other..it may so happen that a person's true colours may come out only when they live together 24/7.

So in this topic of a long distance relationship...be it an online relation..or be it a courtship (dating) before marriage or whatever, how can we trust the other person so easily (they say na love is blind)....how can we be sure that the person is showing u his true self or is just putting on a mask?

Sorry...maybe i am going a little off track, but just being a little curious.

Cheers,

sagi
02-24-2004, 02:58 AM
From reading above posts....no1s saying anything 100% and proving it.....so it makes me think about "fate" ;)

Shy
02-24-2004, 04:02 PM
How can we be sure that the person whom we love is telling the truth ...or i should say that people often put on their best behaviours to impress the other..it may so happen that a person's true colours may come out only when they live together 24/7.

So in this topic of a long distance relationship...be it an online relation..or be it a courtship (dating) before marriage or whatever, how can we trust the other person so easily (they say na love is blind)....how can we be sure that the person is showing u his true self or is just putting on a mask?

Sorry...maybe i am going a little off track, but just being a little curious.

Cheers,

Abhinaya,

Good question.. My thoughts... :) Trust is something that doesnt come on first sight .. its somethign we build like foundation. Something that grows stronger as years pass by. Whether a person is hiding behind a mask or showing his true self, can only be found when u start moving with them, i mean when u start spending some quality time with them ands start to know them. So in a online relationship, the couple can be very much in love with each other thru chats, mails, web cam etc.. but still there might be many holes left which can be filled only when the meet each other personally and start to be together, doesnt mean 24/7 but atleast some quality time.

Now, In Long distance relationship they might have very well known each other and due to circumstances they might have to part awat for a while. Now both love and trust plays a very good part. U love the person very dearly and u miss them so much, but deep in ur heart u have 100% trust for them. If the other person, feels the same way, then u are made for each other, else we might conclude that we made the wrong choice.

In marriage if its arranged and its before marriage, obviously the couples try to impress each other as they are strangers who will be together in their life. U cant know them better unless u are married. Only then u may know the person as a whole. Even in love marriages, initially the couple try to impress the other.. but as days go by, they know each other better and then they marry only they have a hold in their career. But even in love marriages they are failures, but the reasons vary, from between the couple itself, plus family, meaning "family ellam vitu vanthaen, eppo eppadi irukaen paaru"nu the girl might say and it might hurt the guy coz he was also in that situation. So angae understanding, trust ellai..

Shy

sagi
02-24-2004, 11:32 PM
Shy,

family ellam vitu vanthaen, eppo eppadi irukaen paaru"n - after reading what you have said...i remember something else.

Do you know that SOME guys ask the girls....i mean love marriage couple, when they have an argument, the guys, although normally he loves his wife a lot..a good guy, somehow he ask ask her this " ivvlo varudangal valartha onnodda parents aye ethirththittu vanthaval thaane nee, thirimrukku unakku ennadi koraichal" ? imjagine how that girls feels..... horrible a???