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Aruna
02-19-2004, 07:10 PM
Rajasekar & Vijaya married two years ago.Before the marriage vijaya's parents ask them what they want as dowry ,for that they replied "ur wish".In the marriage day vijaya's inlaws told her that she is her daughter & don't worry abt her. Next day Vijaya's aunt ask her to give her jewels for taking loans in bank & said that because jewels will be less interest,but she refused to give it,next day her uncle came & said "u gave half of the jewels to ur mum & give half to me.She refused to give & after 2 or 3 days rajasekar's parents fight with their sons to get the jewels,he told if she agree to give u buy it otherwise leave it.

And his parents send others to get the jewels ,but she didn't care. And this becomes big problem & the couple went to US,then after some months rajasekar spoke to his inlaws, there creates some miscommunication & he didn't give respect to them & he talk by calling his name,so his inlaws become angry & told some unwanted words.So rajasekar become angry & he didn't allow his wife to talk with her parents. He talk to his parents when she is sleeping but he didn't allow her to talk to her parents.

After one year she went to India, for vocation, Rajasekar gave all the marriage jewel which was given to him in marriage day in the parcel & he told not to open it & give directly to her parents,she didn't even know what is it.She feel bad abt it when she say it.She went to her parents & after some days she went to their inlaws .In that time she spoke casually to their parents that she is feeling bored,but no one was there and in the evening she went to her grandparents' house.In the meantime Rajasekar talk to his parents, they told that vijaya's is telling to her parents that she is feelling bore in our house. And after some time he spoke to his wife & ask regarding this.She agreed & he scold her in the same day & even after landing.

On the next vocation Vijaya went to India,but her husband refused to allow to her parents house,she cried every day before the trip,but he refused.So she stayed in her grandparents house & inlaws house & in relatives.She has some clothes & she ask her mum to bring clothes .

Her parents gave her some clothes & before the trip she gave all the used clothes to her parents for laundry & ironing.This is quiet normal happening in all .And after she landed to US rajasekar spoke to his parents they tell abt the clothes & he scold his wife even in new year.And now she is pregnant. When her parents call her from India, she feel very happy & talk to them in one minute.They feel very happy abt the news.

And he didn't care abt it.The next day rajasekar's parents call to him in cell, he ask to disconnect & talk to 30 minutes to all his family members.She was shocked,when her parents talk to vijaya,her husband didn't care,but when his parents spoke to him, he is talking long time.

This is the real story & i want to know what vijaya should do in future?.She is crying every night to god to keep all the problems solved & she will be happy when her husband allow her to spoke with her parents.Please post ur opinion.

Shy
02-19-2004, 07:53 PM
Aruna,

First I feel sorry for that girl vijaya.. but too many loopholes unfortunately :(.. atleast as far as I see.

Avanga husband initially was very good and level headed and suddenly due to the miscommunication and the name-calling he seems to be mad at them. Athu thaan starting spot for the problemnu thoonuthu. Ponnu side'la rajasekar'rai thappa paesi irukaanga.. so he too was and has sedn some words. 2 things sanechu irukanum... first either ponnu kuduthu irukoomnu vijaya familyla adjust panni poi irukanum, ellaina vijaya should have apologised to his husband abt her parents calling him names. Then and Tehn neengalum appadi paesi iruka kuudathu'nu solli irukalaam.

I think this wasnt done, but it was either left as such or vijaya too supported what her parents did was correct(correct'a irunthaalum, rajasekar would ahve thought nambalai vitu kuduthutaaloonu).. so distance avanga kulla..

Then vacation'la bore appadinu evanga romba geninue'a solli irukalaam aruna.. but parents are that generation, yaedutha udanae they will think the worst thaan.. athaan problem.. so they started to ahev her under control by not allowing her to see her parents the next time.

So now,

I think shes pregnant and they are going to start a family. I think she should speak to her husband and open their hearts. For me its seems the guy is good too and so does the girl.. but there are lots of miscommunications etc between the too. The girl can always apologise for what her parents had did and try to soothe him. Life;la girls romba adjust pananum aruna.. thats how it should be.

So kavalai padaama vijaya'vai ask her to talk to her husband.

(1) Abt the jewels and ask her to apologize for what her parents. Solraenu thapap nenaika vaendaam. husband thappu panni irunthaalum, athu appuram solalaam..neega vitu kuduthu irukalaamnu.. but parents kaaga she only can apologise right....
(2)Bore..thappana ennathula solalai.. Ask her to say shes sorry if she has hurt her husbands parents by saying so.
(3)Ask her to make him understand that hes everything for her and then her parents and his parents.. and how much she loves him.. First pregnancy, so parents kita paesanumnu irukku..appadinu kaeka solunga... But ask her not just to talk to her parents, but his parents also.

Best wishes for her :b: and :clap: for u, for the care u have towards ur friend :)

Shy

vasan
02-19-2004, 08:15 PM
folks,

I am thinking of moving this to love & relationships section, since this is not really a story or a drama but more serious one.. Hope you don't mind aruna & shy...

will do so in ten mins.. :)

unique
02-19-2004, 11:52 PM
Aruna

It s really a pity to hear this story. Well husband n wife kula modhala understanding venum. Initiala vijaya had trouble with her in-laws by refusing to give jewels etc,well that s fine,cos it is quiet natural. But avanga rendu perum abroad vandha aparam they were on their own. Meaning they had all the time for themselves,this was the time they shuld ve utilised(atleast Vijaya shuld ve used)to get to know eachother better.Well they failed to do it.

Rajasekar had some miscommunication with his in-laws,n they calling names etc. Indha maadhiri nadandhadhunu therinjadhu Vijaya shuld ve made Rajasekhar understand that it was a mistake on her parents part(ofcourse parentsa vitukoduka sollalai),atleast rajasekar understand pannikara maadhiri edhavadhu solli convince panni irukanam. Atleast she shuld ve called her parents(privately) and told them abt this(make them understand),and culd ve asked them to speak to her hubby and say that they were sorry for wat they spoke. I know ponnai pethuta ennavenumna panna sollalai. Atleast if they want their daughter to be happy they culd do this illaiya.

Agaian Vijaya had lots of opportunities to get close with her in-laws but she failed to do it. Well am not blaming Vijaya on the whole but oru ponnu ninaicha she culd make n break a family illa adhukku solla varen. I know that Vijaya also wuld ve been under lot of pressure.

Now that they r on their family way it is better to sort out things atleast now. Rendu perum serndhu utkandhu pesi issues solve pannaradhu thaan is an option. Again this culd lead to heated arguments also,but one of them shuld keep their cool,i wuld suggest that Vijaya keeps her cool. Cos if she also gets heated up then pesi mudivukku vara mudiyaadhu. It shuld not affect the child later on. As u ve mentioned that Rajasekar was a nice person i thinking talking culd bring a lot of changes in their life(good ones). Well i wish ALL THE BEST FOR VIJAYA. Don t worry things will work out well. Ask her to trust GOD

Once ivangulukula tension solve aayiduthuna then in-laws kooda samadhanam aayidalam. Also ask Vijaya also to speak to her in-laws when her husband calls them,ivangale volunteera pesa sollunga,also appo appo avangalukku enna venum edhu venum ketka sollunga. Ask her to treat her in-laws as friend,konjam pazhagara varaikkum she might find it odd but later on she ll realise that it was a goodthing to do. Also Vijaya voda amma appavai adikadi avanga in-laws poyi meet panna sollunga,pogum podhu edhavadhu gift vaangindu poga sollunga(if they r in the same town),if they r else where they can visit once in 2 mnths or so. Blve me these things will surely develop a good wrapport.Indha problem vararthukku basic karaname ego thaan.

Hope my advise is somewat worthwhile.BEST WISHES TO VIJAYA ONCE AGAIN,DON T WORRY BE HAPPY

sagi
02-20-2004, 06:52 AM
pesi theeeratha sikkal ethuvum illaiye....