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sagi
02-22-2004, 11:23 AM
We always talk about arrange marriage and love marriage....and we made 100s of post on these kinda topics.....but ever thought WHY....WHY DO WE NEED TO GET MARRIED?? I am not against marriage...but wanna get to know the reason.......any smart person there to start ???

san2003
02-22-2004, 02:55 PM
im surprised no one has voted yet.... bayanthitaen... my vote was first... :) hehehe.... n my vote is NO... is not necessary :)
ok... why i said no ....... why do u get married.... in my opinion... to be settled with a person that u believe is ur love and to live happily ever after... why can't u be single and live happily ever after?.... why do u need someone else to make u happy... u can remain single, have a successful career and have a happy life rite?
the purpose we find the other person is to fill in gaps in our life that we have missed.... why not find the missing gaps and fill it without gettin another person to tell u that u missed everythin in life or wat so ever. :)
i know some of u might disagree with me... but share ur views.. im interested to know :)
sagi... neengalom konchun contribute pannengal... why u said ur not against marriage... whereby most of u would agree i think :)

dinesh
02-22-2004, 03:21 PM
WHY....WHY DO WE NEED TO GET MARRIED??

Ithu kelvi... :)
I'm sure everybody knows what my response would be. People who don't know can search for my answers elsewhere in the forum....

katteri
02-22-2004, 03:30 PM
naan intha attathukuu varalai.....

gokulan42
02-22-2004, 04:06 PM
You lose some, you gain some. Marriage is important :)

sri_gan
02-22-2004, 04:11 PM
I'm off this loop....

Minik
02-22-2004, 05:55 PM
I would say marriage is important. When I was single I thought of same thing why do we need to marry I was happy but now after finding the right person I am still happy, happier than my single life. There is somebody to share your happiness, for e.g. when you come back from work, there might be lot of stuff that happened good and bad and it feels nice and happy to talk about it to your close inmate. and once you have kid then its more nice to see the kid doing stuff which amazes you and talk and laugh about it with your beloved.

I think anianar also would say it clearly how good it is to have a married life and a kid. coz you could see his signature describing his kid to all of us what he does.

Shy
02-22-2004, 06:06 PM
I think the happiest person around here to see this topic will be dinesh ;) .. anyway My vote is yes...

Shy

silican
02-22-2004, 06:56 PM
Ennaiya vittuteengale. Anyway my Answer would be Biased as I will vote NO . So I cant make any comments or say any opinion abt others.

Silican

Shy
02-22-2004, 07:12 PM
Oops.. silican thought konjamaavathu u will inclined towards marriage.. neengalumaa..

Appo dinesh and silican will be the happiest person to know abt this topic !!!!

Ahy

arunsharavan
02-22-2004, 08:16 PM
I agree with Shy...Marriage is important when u decide to live in a society like India...Otherwise its not important for just a formality sake...For example, Kamal Haasan tried it in his own life with Sarika. But it didnt work, he was forced to marry her atleast for the sake of his children...So, it all depends on where u live..

Arun

Teena
02-22-2004, 08:18 PM
I would say marriage is important and necessary and I also voted for Yes.In my opinion life gets fulfilled only after the marriage.Anyone who gets the right life partner would say marriage is a heaven and on the flip side those who do not get a right life partner with identical thoughts,wavelength would always say marriage is a hell.Whether one needs marriage or need not depends upon what he/she wants in a marriage. :D

katteri
02-22-2004, 10:18 PM
Enna da atta thukka varale nu sollitu playe ground ku vanthutaa ne ...appadi nu kulapapammaaa


மனிதன் திருமணம் என்கிற சிறிய வட்டத்துக் குள் சிக்கி ....குடும்பம என்கிற ஒரெ கண்ணோட்டம் santhosanghal vundu thukkamaum vundu....Silarakku kalyanam pannikirathu rombha jolly.....& exciting life nu kanavu.. appdi thane parthipan kanavu nu movie ellam varuthu...Oru samuthyam sinthani indri thiriyum kootathukkul sikki ...en kudmbum en veedu ena nan ennai surukki koolla virumbha villai...'' Andavanin padaipu kal yavum suthanthirmagha irukindrana.....manithanai thaviraaa....Thirumanam iru managhalin manathai serkum thinam endru maruvi ....ippozhuthu irandu vudalkali innaikum thinamaka mariyathu kotchai paduthaaaa ve ( atharka gha ella thirumanaghalaiyum kurai solla villai excpetionr always there..)

For me

Marriage is a part of Life, marriage is not the life

Thirumanghal eppozuhthu manakali inaikiratho appozhuthan than vulkam vidivu perum....sandai sachirav kuraiyum....
Irumanaghlai innai ka tha entha oru kariyammum thirumanam alllaaaaaa..............

katteri
02-22-2004, 10:33 PM
Nan yes no va nu sollave illai .....meendum santhikum pothu solkiren ....

unique
02-23-2004, 02:52 AM
My Vote is Yes......u r life becomes more complete after marriage. Yen thaniya irundha idhu mudiyaadhanu ketkalam. If our parents(every individuals) kalaynam pannikama irundhu irundha namba indha olanguthula porandhu irupoma,they wuld ve been more happy than having their child on this earth. You can be happy by sharing u r thots,jokes etc with u r friends. But 24hrs avanga onga koodaiye iruka poradhu illa. Also u cannot share everything with them. But idhuve marriage aachuna u can share everything,u rlife with u r spouse. Trust me marriage is wonderful thing to happen in one s life. More to come after seeing others views

san2003
02-23-2004, 03:07 AM
You can be happy by sharing u r thots,jokes etc with u r friends. But 24hrs avanga onga koodaiye iruka poradhu illa. Also u cannot share everything with them. But idhuve marriage aachuna u can share everything,u rlife with u r spouse. Trust me marriage is wonderful thing to happen in one s life. More to come after seeing others views

i understand u said we can share everything with our life partner... but at times u want time for urself... its jus probably for a split second, but u cannot have it coz u r too busy with ur partner and if u have kids especially.... where is the time for urself? i have heard many stories such from women sayin they cannot find time for themselves. another thing is enjoyin life... is quite normal in indian culture that wife's are meant to be at home and take care of household chores and the kids... i know it has been changing in many countries... but such practices is still on.... what entertainment is there for the wifes?... there r not allowed to go out, not allowed to join any thing, not allowed to have many friends, not allowed to work... wat nonsense is that... n im sure many guys still have this kind of mindset coz is very normal(sori guys... dun mean to be offensive)... im telling this based on what i have seen. with these kinda situations.... whats the purpose of gettin married? to be happier or to make life worst.... for eg. i know a girl she used to be working when single, having a time of her life, full freedom from parents... now she is married... no freedom at all(seriously) ....well.. some of u said u can share everything in life with ur partner..wat if the partner is not around?... most guys like to hang out with their buddies and leave their wife alone at home.... what can the wife do? no one to share her feelings with and not allowed to go out as well (u might say is very old fashion.. but it is still happening)

sagi
02-23-2004, 04:08 AM
adada en arivukkolunthuhala :) super . asaththittinga pongo.
I think i go with my mamooooooooo kattz. You go through toatlly diff things in life when you are married...and totally opo when you are not married....

guku - kalyanatha paththy thaane neenga solli irukkinga... kalyanam venuma vendaama endu sollalingale ;)

Sri - mavane neenga oru "KALUVIRA MEENILA NALUVIRA MEENU". antha kathai ellam vendaam. olungo mariyaathaiya reply pannunga ;)

shidinesh ;) silican ;) hehehe

shy - neenga oru sirantha "THIRUMATHY" - sri, "VALA VALAA" ongalukku mattum thaan nick name vaikka theriyuma?? sagi style konjoondu paarungo ippo .

katteri
02-23-2004, 08:49 AM
Sagi naan Alliance (athan kootaani) i nambhurathu illai ...

Thiruman seithu kondal....Niraiya thadai padukindrathu....
Vungallukku vazhkaiyil sila lathciyam vundu antha lathciyathirku thunai ya iruppavalai thirumanam seithu kollalam illai endral no....
Latchiyathai thooki erikiravan vazhkai i izhakiran....
There r many things to share when u get married...ur duties bcom restricted.. if u want to do some good 2 society u have to think a lot b4 deciding....
will continu

sagi
02-23-2004, 08:53 AM
ok ok ippidi nadu rottilaya en kita ithellam solluvinga....enna thitturathukkuthama PM ennu ondru irukke....ippidi manatha vaangathinga ;)

Bluelotus
02-23-2004, 11:09 AM
Correct me if I'm wrong but is the question abt being a Bramachari or a Bramacharini......or .....is the question abt simply not getting married?
Cos to me thus are 2 different things altogether.

Marriage is simply a religious or a civic contract between 2 ppl who wish the world to acknowledge their commitment to each other.
One doesn't have to get married at all. U can live in perfect harmony with ur partner and raise healthy balanced children without a marriage license.

So really marriage is not required these days.....as long as both partners are secure within the relationship.....why do u need to get married with so much pomp and expenses?

Marriage in my view was created to promote permanent monogamous relationship and to establish relationships between each member of society......I mean just to make sure we know who fathered which child, etc....after all we don't want half-siblings marrying do we?

But nowdays is it still neccessary to get a marriage license?....I think it is up to each individual to decide what is best for them.

If marriage is so important tht unmarried couples annot live together and raise children together...then shouldn't homosexual couples also be able to tie the knot if they so wished?

katteri
02-23-2004, 12:35 PM
Marriage is just like a token ot ticket to ensure that they are married people when legal implications arise.

lodestar
02-23-2004, 01:55 PM
i would say yes...but this would be based on each person`s attitude about it..
may be as other friends say like mutual understanding without marriage is possible nu..i think it wont be suitable for our country..but u can go ahead with it if u dont care about the surrounding people..

i dont see any drawbacks of marriage like loosing hapiness or feeling like bound inside a small circle...but benefits i dont know ...let the experienced persons like anainar explain it..

cheers

sagi
02-23-2004, 02:05 PM
SORRY but..now i want to get to know about marriage? what is marriage?? can some1 explain??

gokulan42
02-23-2004, 03:49 PM
You can be happy by sharing u r thots,jokes etc with u r friends. But 24hrs avanga onga koodaiye iruka poradhu illa. Also u cannot share everything with them. But idhuve marriage aachuna u can share everything,u rlife with u r spouse. Trust me marriage is wonderful thing to happen in one s life. More to come after seeing others views

i understand u said we can share everything with our life partner... but at times u want time for urself... its jus probably for a split second, but u cannot have it coz u r too busy with ur partner and if u have kids especially.... where is the time for urself? i have heard many stories such from women sayin they cannot find time for themselves. another thing is enjoyin life... is quite normal in indian culture that wife's are meant to be at home and take care of household chores and the kids... i know it has been changing in many countries... but such practices is still on.... what entertainment is there for the wifes?... there r not allowed to go out, not allowed to join any thing, not allowed to have many friends, not allowed to work... wat nonsense is that... n im sure many guys still have this kind of mindset coz is very normal(sori guys... dun mean to be offensive)... im telling this based on what i have seen. with these kinda situations.... whats the purpose of gettin married? to be happier or to make life worst.... for eg. i know a girl she used to be working when single, having a time of her life, full freedom from parents... now she is married... no freedom at all(seriously) ....well.. some of u said u can share everything in life with ur partner..wat if the partner is not around?... most guys like to hang out with their buddies and leave their wife alone at home.... what can the wife do? no one to share her feelings with and not allowed to go out as well (u might say is very old fashion.. but it is still happening)

endha kalathula irukkeengo. ladies out lam malaysia la illaiya?

'No freedom at all' is a joke nowadays (if you dont mean guys). I would hate to discuss about some isolated incidents. There is no more male chauvanism in my surroundings (I am not talking about older generations).

gokulan42
02-23-2004, 03:57 PM
guku - kalyanatha paththy thaane neenga solli irukkinga... kalyanam venuma vendaama endu sollalingale ;)


MArriage is very important and necessary in life. A good successful marriage gives you a life partner to share all your good & bad times. A friend who lives with you all the time with whom you can share your physical and emotional needs.

Above all, it gives you a perfect companian when you are old :)

So I say, marriage is necessary.

Shy
02-23-2004, 04:41 PM
San,

Also as the world evolved, A guy is desgined to gather food and do the outside job and the girl does the household stuf.. Her body is also designed that way. Even in this current generation, all hardworks are done by guys and not girls right??? Girlskku teaching, management, computers, fashion eppadi easy jobs are there. So thats what she can do..

But I accept the fact that after all these changes there are still places in India where women are ill-treated and thats bad. More than society its just some bunch of craps still holding to those stuff and spoiling the women life.. but i hope that it will all change soon.

U arent understanding one point. Marriage, kids, then family this is how a Indian woman wants her life to be. She doesnt want to be a single mother like many western moms and lead a life fully dating, u know what i mean. She needs a guy in her life. There are working women too, not many families are putting a stop for a women to work. But she does needs to have a personal life before thinking abt career. But I wont accept that a girl can replace a guy anywhere in this world. Simple she cant. The reason I am saying this is, a girl is more vulnerable to many dark spots in life than a guy and for her she needs someone to protect her and be with her as shes an emotional bundle.


Shy

shysumi
02-23-2004, 05:02 PM
திருமணம் என்பது வாழ்க்கைக் கு எப்போதும் அவசியம் இல்லை..அப்ப ி என்றால் திருமணம் ஆகாதவர்கள் விரைவிலேயே இறந்துவிடு கிறார்களா... ..?!இப்ப மேற்கில பாத்தா--லிவ் ருகெதர்...தா ன் பசன்...அப்பு றம் குழந்தை குட்டி பெத்துக் கிட்டு 40 வயசுக்கு மேலதான் கலியாணம் செய்யுறாங் க....!

Marriage is not necessary for survival of human.....if person would not marry would he/she die soon than a married person....???! If consider western culture...'live together' is very common and they would marry in late 30 or in 40....!However, Can we do like that..? Before to get decision for marriage, we would think about culture, society and expect guidance from parents or elders...so they would influence on our decisions.....but if you would be a bachelor it would affect only your reproduction for your next generation....! So think and get your decision firmly and freely....!

:P :ahha:

katteri
02-23-2004, 05:05 PM
San,

Also as the world evolved, A guy is desgined to gather food and do the outside job and the girl does the household stuf.. Her body is also designed that way. Even in this current generation, all hardworks are done by guys and not girls right??? But I accept the fact that after all these changes there are still places in India where women are ill-treated and thats bad. More than society its just some bunch of craps still holding to those stuff and spoiling the women life.. but i hope that it will all change soon.

U arent understanding one point. Marriage, kids, then family this is how a Indian woman wants her life to be. She doesnt want to be a single mother like many western moms and lead a life fully dating, u know what i mean. She needs a guy in her life. There are working women too, not many families are putting a stop for a women to work. But she does needs to have a personal life before thinking abt career. But I wont accept that a girl can replace a guy anywhere in this world. Simple she cant. The reason I am saying this is, a girl is more vulnerable to many dark spots in life than a guy and for her she needs someone to protect her and be with her as shes an emotional bundle.


Shy

Appadi illai .. women think themselves they r inferior to men
There s no point to sticking to this concept, i do agree there r some attacks on women....
Nimirndha nanndai ner konda parvai penkallukku vendum enna bharathi sonnar...'' avar sonna oov oru vakiyammum ...oru tonic pole ''
Girls lack this confidence ...if they start builnding confi.. there s no point comparing who is best...
Yaravathu vunakku left kannu mattum venum right kannu mattum venum nu solluvanghalaaa...
Men and Women are an integral and depenend on each other in the society....
There are few professions women only can take eg NURSE....'' y men can t take.....Porumai illlai athhu thane...

Shy
02-23-2004, 05:29 PM
Appadi illai .. women think themselves they r inferior to men
There s no point to sticking to this concept, i do agree there r some attacks on women....
Nimirndha nanndai ner konda parvai penkallukku vendum enna bharathi sonnar...'' avar sonna oov oru vakiyammum ...oru tonic pole ''
Girls lack this confidence ...if they start builnding confi.. there s no point comparing who is best...
Yaravathu vunakku left kannu mattum venum right kannu mattum venum nu solluvanghalaaa...
Men and Women are an integral and depenend on each other in the society....
There are few professions women only can take eg NURSE....'' y men can t take.....Porumai illlai athhu thane...

No Katteri, not infereioty complex at all. U arent understanding that girls cannot do all stuff guys can do, i mean physically.. confident ellam irukku, thats why in IT industry there are more women than in any other industry.. because here they can do everything a guy does.. because the job is like that.. but oru construction worker'aaga mudiyumaa.. thats where the difference is... She cant hodl that bigg heavy axe and work like a guy.. athai solraen.. so some jobs are meant only for guys..

Women, men compare pana solalai.. naan but i am stating what a woman can do and cant do and why there are 1000 reason for her to be with a man and hence marriage is neccessary :)

Shy

katteri
02-23-2004, 05:36 PM
Shy
Dependent nu sollathengha.. Interdpendent... Men and women r interdependent ....

Marriage is a token ...I hope u have seen mouna ragam ... thou its a movie wht happends afetr marriage...
Unless men & women r tied by love ... marriage waste than....

unique
02-23-2004, 06:24 PM
guku - kalyanatha paththy thaane neenga solli irukkinga... kalyanam venuma vendaama endu sollalingale ;)


MArriage is very important and necessary in life. A good successful marriage gives you a life partner to share all your good & bad times. A friend who lives with you all the time with whom you can share your physical and emotional needs.

Above all, it gives you a perfect companian when you are old :)

So I say, marriage is necessary.

Gokul

Atleast for once we r on the same track i blve....

Katteri
Kalyanam pannikita how can it affect u r ambition....take for example a girl from a poor family wants to do higher studies but avanga parents naala adhu mudiyalai....but kalayanathukaparam if her hubby is kinda affordable person then he can fulfill her wishes(ambitions illa). If u take the case of a guy,ippo irukara guys ellam modhala they try to achieve wat they want to n then only they go for marriage,so how can marriage affect u r ambitions sollunga.....

Priyamudan_KV
02-23-2004, 11:07 PM
I vote for ‘no’…!!!!!!!!

Ennai porutha varai kalyanam oru sadangu. Two people can love each other without marrying. In the west many couples don’t even marry and live extremely happy together – that doesn’t mean they’re not willing to commit to each other, it just means they ‘feel’ they have more freedom that way.

Some people don’t even want to marry nor get involved in a long-term relationship…they just like to live a very independent life doing what they like in their own way, therefore to them marriage may seem like an obligation. However marriage is a beautiful bond…but it should be treated as a learning curve rather than a ‘strict’ part of life!

san2003
02-24-2004, 12:22 AM
endha kalathula irukkeengo. ladies out lam malaysia la illaiya?

'No freedom at all' is a joke nowadays (if you dont mean guys). I would hate to discuss about some isolated incidents. There is no more male chauvanism in my surroundings (I am not talking about older generations).

naan intha kalathula thaan irukaen.... and im not jokin about it nor am i talking bout older generation... im talking about the now generation.... as i said it might not be happenin in the western countries but some asian countries r like that... not only malaysia.. im sure elsewhere too... even in movies they do show sometimes rite?
u guys might say is a joke.. but as i said... its in the culture and in the mindset of everyone that wife's na vitulae irukunum... even one of my guy friend... he wants his wife to be like that... so its still happening rite?

san2003
02-24-2004, 12:35 AM
No Katteri, not infereioty complex at all. U arent understanding that girls cannot do all stuff guys can do, i mean physically.. confident ellam irukku, thats why in IT industry there are more women than in any other industry.. because here they can do everything a guy does.. because the job is like that.. but oru construction worker'aaga mudiyumaa.. thats where the difference is... She cant hodl that bigg heavy axe and work like a guy.. athai solraen.. so some jobs are meant only for guys..

why do u think that way? nowadays women can do so many things... ive seen women as public transport drivers.. ive seen women doin so many other tough jobs... well.. to be more practical.. ive a guy friend and i helped him move house.. well... as guys being polite and stuff like that, he said dun need to take the heavy stuff coz am a girl... what nonsense.. i end up carryin all the heavy ones and he was surprised.. so dun underestimate women... women can also do tough job and hard work if u have the will... but if ur a girl who is like some kinda celebrity(no offence girls) ... then be in ur own world... u definetely cannot survive in this fast movin world
if a women can do all this and survive on her own with well to do career, rich and so on... why do u need a man to come and support u?
shy, u said we have the emotional bundle but i think nowadays girls have become quite strong inside to be able to handle situations.... apidi illena.... i dunno how then .... but its true i know some girls they r still very 'girly', very soft and so on....but its time to change ;)
im sure some of u girls who r much more experienced than me will not agree with me... i agree im still young and dun know much.. but if u have the will... u have the way ;)

unique
02-24-2004, 01:23 AM
I vote for ‘no’…!!!!!!!!

Ennai porutha varai kalyanam oru sadangu. Two people can love each other without marrying. In the west many couples don’t even marry and live extremely happy together – that doesn’t mean they’re not willing to commit to each other, it just means they ‘feel’ they have more freedom that way.

Some people don’t even want to marry nor get involved in a long-term relationship…they just like to live a very independent life doing what they like in their own way, therefore to them marriage may seem like an obligation. However marriage is a beautiful bond…but it should be treated as a learning curve rather than a ‘strict’ part of life!

Why is that people r often comparing with western culture.Namba naatula enna othuvarum othuvaradhunu let s talk. West la before sticking with one boyfriend,they wuld ve have atleast a min of 10 other boyfriends,so andha culture namakku othuvaruma sollunga. They don t marry cos thideernu edhavadhu oru vishayathula sandai potta they can just leave him n go find someone else.

Marriage might be a sadangu or sambradhaiyam watever u call it,but adhula freedom illainu yen ellarum ninaikareenga. When u r in school or college edho oru stranger thaane bcomes u r best buddy,adhe maadhiri y not u accept u r better half as u r best buddy and be free with him or her. Neenga yen kalyanam pannindaaachu so oru purushan pondatti eppadi behave pannanamo appadi thaan irukanamnu feel pannareenga. Y don t u be like friends. Married life is not just husband,wat if a new arrival comes into u r life. Adhai vida sandhosham oru ponnuko illai aanuko irukuma sollungo.

So marriage is not a bitter thing rather it is a sweet experience. Edho tension la adichuten enna adichennu padichu paarka time illa,so edhavadhu thappa irundha pls forgive me.

gokulan42
02-24-2004, 02:55 AM
[but as i said... its in the culture and in the mindset of everyone that wife's na vitulae irukunum...

San, you are cute and charming. But, it is irritating to see anybody generalizing like this without knowing about others in the world. I, among so many other guys of this generation do not belong to your catagory of 'everyone'.

We have lots of freedom in our home both ways. And, I have reasons to beleive that its the same in most of my friends places.

However, if you are talking about some other culture than tamils, please ignore the above :)

sabeshan
02-24-2004, 03:06 AM
I believe that marriage is important... though the origins of marriage are rooted in medieval society when people wanted to have an organised system for procreation... Unless otherwise, marriage generally gives the notion of monogamy... it was a means to restrict relations between one man and one woman as it helped lay tabs on immorality etc... it is not necessary these days as people are more individualistic and are not guided by social mores any more but from a personal standpoint I believe marriage is very very essential as it has far mroe implications than just social; from the legal view, cohabitation does not guarantee several rights which marriage does... marriage is the responsibility that an individual assumes towards his/her spouse (though usually it is incumbent on men more than women in the sense that terms like alimony are generally suitable from the context of a female... no has ever seen a guy demanding alimony!!!)... so marriage is not merely a set of outmoded customs and rituals... it is an institution that must not only be respected but also followed so that there is order in society.

san2003
02-24-2004, 03:26 AM
San, you are cute and charming. But, it is irritating to see anybody generalizing like this without knowing about others in the world. I, among so many other guys of this generation do not belong to your catagory of 'everyone'.

We have lots of freedom in our home both ways. And, I have reasons to beleive that its the same in most of my friends places.

However, if you are talking about some other culture than tamils, please ignore the above


manicherungal gokul... i din mean to point anyone ... okok..let me put it this way then.. not everyone but majority? ithe ok va... ille... ithovum wrong'a?
i meant freedom for girls.. not guys... guys alwiz had freedom even from young.. and i was talking about indian culture in general

gokulan42
02-24-2004, 03:31 AM
San, you are cute and charming. But, it is irritating to see anybody generalizing like this without knowing about others in the world. I, among so many other guys of this generation do not belong to your catagory of 'everyone'.

We have lots of freedom in our home both ways. And, I have reasons to beleive that its the same in most of my friends places.

However, if you are talking about some other culture than tamils, please ignore the above


manicherungal gokul... i din mean to point anyone ... okok..let me put it this way then.. not everyone but majority? ithe ok va... ille... ithovum wrong'a?
i meant freedom for girls.. not guys... guys alwiz had freedom even from young.. and i was talking about indian culture in general
No problem. Sorry, If I sounded harsh. I just wanted to emphasize this.

you are cute and charming :)

san2003
02-24-2004, 03:38 AM
No problem. Sorry, If I sounded harsh. I just wanted to emphasize this.


no worries.. i should say sorry coz i may sound abit offensive.. :)



you are cute and charming

thank u goku... ;) hehehehehe
:sm08:

gokulan42
02-24-2004, 03:58 AM
No problem. Sorry, If I sounded harsh. I just wanted to emphasize this.


no worries.. i should say sorry coz i may sound abit offensive.. :)



you are cute and charming

thank u goku... ;) hehehehehe
:sm08:

Goku? :evil: :evil: :evil: :D

Your post was not offensive but wrong in my opinion. In my opinion, you saw plight of ladies in malaysia and last generation ladies in India or rural ladies. Male chauvanism was there then and I am not saying its not there now. It is there but defintly going away.

Most of the younger generation in modern cities (in and outside India) are very modern and beleive in equal rights - infact, its safer for guys ;)

Plight of ladies in muslim countries is not that good compared to other countries. Plgiht of ladies in rural places in India may not be that good (I am not aware of this, just a guess) compared to urban and suburban. India is improving. We had sati and other nonsense and now not much is there. Even white dress for widows and other superstitious stuff are slowly but steadily going away.

Like any other culture, our culture has our own pros and cons... I am ready to debate with you to compare our culture with any other western culture. Western culture had/have many nonsense too.

san2003
02-24-2004, 04:07 AM
Goku?

hehe... kochikathingal... appidi kupudalama? ;)



Your post was not offensive but wrong in my opinion. In my opinion, you saw plight of ladies in malaysia and last generation ladies in India or rural ladies. Male chauvanism was there then and I am not saying its not there now. It is there but defintly going away.

Most of the younger generation in modern cities (in and outside India) are very modern and beleive in equal rights - infact, its safer for guys


i din focus only in malaysia... there is less male dominant nowadays as well.. but there r some... n most of it happens after few years of marriage not in the beginning itself... im sayin from wat ive seen.. not one.. but many as i said
but i thought in india it is still that way... many of them r male dominant in a household? i might be wrong but i jus see it thru movies.... i did not only mean rural ladies... but even modern ladies.... its not visible very much.. but to a certain level it is still practised... as far as i know
as i said b4... the new generation also have this kind of mindset... i gave example of a friend as he wants his wife to be like that... and another guy friend of mine as well... he told me he wants to get a girl who will be like that..... i asked why and he said its meant to be like that, it has been like that for generations... so what i can see is some ppl have not changed and follow those male domination kind of thing.... even though time has changed
(sorry if im harsh now )

sagi
02-24-2004, 04:09 AM
goku ?

san2003
02-24-2004, 04:22 AM
goku ?


haiyoo... seri seri.. gokul ne kupidiraen.. ok va? chumma goku'ne kuputaen.. tappu'a? :(

gokulan42
02-24-2004, 04:28 AM
Goku?

hehe... kochikathingal... appidi kupudalama? ;)
No problem. I will try to get a sweet name for you (like sweety & Mangai). Ok ya ;)






Your post was not offensive but wrong in my opinion. In my opinion, you saw plight of ladies in malaysia and last generation ladies in India or rural ladies. Male chauvanism was there then and I am not saying its not there now. It is there but defintly going away.

Most of the younger generation in modern cities (in and outside India) are very modern and beleive in equal rights - infact, its safer for guys


i din focus only in malaysia... there is less male dominant nowadays as well.. but there r some... n most of it happens after few years of marriage not in the beginning itself... im sayin from wat ive seen.. not one.. but many as i said
but i thought in india it is still that way... many of them r male dominant in a household? i might be wrong but i jus see it thru movies.... i did not only mean rural ladies... but even modern ladies.... its not visible very much.. but to a certain level it is still practised... as far as i know
as i said b4... the new generation also have this kind of mindset... i gave example of a friend as he wants his wife to be like that... and another guy friend of mine as well... he told me he wants to get a girl who will be like that..... i asked why and he said its meant to be like that, it has been like that for generations... so what i can see is some ppl have not changed and follow those male domination kind of thing.... even though time has changed
(sorry if im harsh now )

Its a shame to know about the attitude of some guys. But, it sounds very much malaysian to me (from what I heard and read). How is the malay & chinku guys there?

gokulan42
02-24-2004, 04:36 AM
goku ?


haiyoo... seri seri.. gokul ne kupidiraen.. ok va? chumma goku'ne kuputaen.. tappu'a? :(
Thats great! Thats why I said you are cute :)

Dont listen to these evil advisers :)

san2003
02-24-2004, 04:37 AM
Its a shame to know about the attitude of some guys. But, it sounds very much malaysian to me (from what I heard and read). How is the malay & chinku guys there?

well... msian indians to be more specific... but we r originally from india... so it is a practice from those days.
malay and chinese r not like this.. though the malays r coz they r muslims... so they have very strict codes....
chinese r very outgoing.. they r like the westerners
jus curious.... u all call chinese as chinku is it?... puthusa iruke :)



san2003 wrote:
Quote:

Goku?

hehe... kochikathingal... appidi kupudalama?

No problem. I will try to get a sweet name for you (like sweety & Mangai). Ok ya

hehehehe ;)

gokulan42
02-24-2004, 04:59 AM
Its a shame to know about the attitude of some guys. But, it sounds very much malaysian to me (from what I heard and read). How is the malay & chinku guys there?

well... msian indians to be more specific... but we r originally from india... so it is a practice from those days.
malay and chinese r not like this.. though the malays r coz they r muslims... so they have very strict codes....
chinese r very outgoing.. they r like the westerners
jus curious.... u all call chinese as chinku is it?... puthusa iruke :)

That makes sense! Chinkus (in some parts of US we call them thay way) behave that way (whether true or not). And, I am not going to go too much into analyzing this :)

Lets go back to Cyberlove now ;) It is indeed rare :)

san2003
02-24-2004, 05:08 AM
Lets go back to Cyberlove now It is indeed rare


hahahaha.... wrong topic goku...... this is no marriage section.. enna confusion'a? hahahahahaha...... ;) cyberlove is sweetmiche patti mandram section
haiyooo.... serichitaen... tangamudilae :) hehehehe

gokulan42
02-24-2004, 05:27 AM
Lets go back to Cyberlove now It is indeed rare


hahahaha.... wrong topic goku...... this is no marriage section.. enna confusion'a? hahahahahaha...... ;) cyberlove is sweetmiche patti mandram section
haiyooo.... serichitaen... tangamudilae :) hehehehe

I was joking :P :oops: :oops: :oops: :P

san2003
02-24-2004, 05:31 AM
Lets go back to Cyberlove now It is indeed rare


hahahaha.... wrong topic goku...... this is no marriage section.. enna confusion'a? hahahahahaha...... ;) cyberlove is sweetmiche patti mandram section
haiyooo.... serichitaen... tangamudilae :) hehehehe

I was joking :P :oops: :oops: :oops: :Pis it?.. hehe okok.. sori goku.. i din mean it ;)
lets get back to the topic... NO MARRIAGE ;) hehe

katteri
02-24-2004, 09:25 AM
Kalyanam pannikita how can it affect u r ambition....take for example a girl from a poor family wants to do higher studies but avanga parents naala adhu mudiyalai....but kalayanathukaparam if her hubby is kinda affordable person then he can fulfill her wishes(ambitions illa). If u take the case of a guy,ippo irukara guys ellam modhala they try to achieve wat they want to n then only they go for marriage,so how can marriage affect u r ambitions sollunga.....

Ambition na Pannam samthikirathua , oru jolly life nu than niriya per ninakirangha....of course thappu illai...
There are always problems when get married.. bcos u have 2 look after the family.Girls gave their feed back they want a guy who takes care & b responsible for family....
Appadi parthaa wht do u think of men working in Army ( same applies to Women). They r dedicating most of their time to the nation rather than the family....is just an example . Of course people in Army who got married are also happy....

B4 500 years there was nt much pressure on the family to earn money...Due to increasing population.. and fast moving life people r forced to restrict themselves with their family...(Survival of the fittest- they want to earn money asap)

Kalayanum pannikkittu society benefit panravangha irukangha .... but most of the people 's ambition comes to a halt due to marriage......
they have to work within the limits.....

indhu2000
03-02-2004, 07:05 AM
yenakku marriage ayedutchu..so yennalaa inimele escape aga mudiyaadhu....

Honeyarjun
03-02-2004, 01:47 PM
you might have guessed whatz my answer going to be.. I dont believe in marriage .. People get married in western countries to get marriage benefits and if thats not the reason..they dont trust their partner much and put a lifetime contract in the name of marriage..

But I am not against marriage..In India we get married for the sake of society..I always speak to my friends and family abt how we should not bother abt society and learn to live for ourselves..but man..we need to have a strong heart for that to face the people in the society..their questions and rumours they spread...ohhh.. I am really happy that am not in india and the society in this aspect (poking their nose into others personal life) is very bad there...

If you are from india and have family there...atleast get married for your family's sake.. dont let your family down with your believes.. might sound like a bit of advice..but have suffered enough so that I can spread these words of wisdom..

suha
03-02-2004, 02:16 PM
marraige yenna...love vei waste thaan :ahha: ........ :sm12: :sm12:

dinesh
03-02-2004, 02:19 PM
marraige yenna...love vei waste thaan

buthisaali kuzanthai.......you do seem to have a very bright future.... :b:

Shy
03-02-2004, 03:52 PM
Honeyarjun,

Eppo I understand :ee: yaen neenga thaali topicla appadi deabted'nu !!!!!. Root... marriage maelaiyaa u have a different belief :D !!!!

Ok back to topic !!!

Guys,

Marriage is a like a confirmation of your feelings for her and your outward expression of your life-long commitment towards the relationship. U might rise, why do we need a confirmation if I love that guy very dearly !!!

4 years u are in bachelors, after 4 years wont just a pat in ur head and a hug from ur principal that u did well be enough, why if that u need a piece of paper saying that u had completed ur bachleors. A confirmation for those 4 years of ur dedicated studies.Same thing with a relationship with a person u love, a confirmation showing ur commitment to ur guy and that u vow to have a life long realtionship with that guy.

First what is society, small nuclear families together right??? What type of society are we trying to build in future??? What abt the kids in this society???

Shy

Shy
03-02-2004, 03:56 PM
marraige yenna...love vei waste thaan

buthisaali kuzanthai.......you do seem to have a very bright future.... :b:

Suha, neeyaa eppadi solra!!!!

Chinna vayasula yaen marriage, love, vaendaamnu thaanae solra :)

Appuram entha samiyaar solrathai ellam kaeka kuudaathu suha !!!! They are wrong ;)

Shy

anjaligirl
04-18-2004, 10:47 PM
If you are from india and have family there...atleast get married for your family's sake.. dont let your family down with your believes.. might sound like a bit of advice..but have suffered enough so that I can spread these words of wisdom..


I know how you feel. Even if I told my family I was dating they would start with god know what, I am not interested in marriage either but I think for the sake of my family, I would think twice before doing things like moving in with my bf. Its a different culture in canada but tehre are enough tamil ppl here so that you cant live it down.