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sagi
02-24-2004, 11:46 PM
Hey there,

Let me give you a situation. You came out of your home and get married to your bf and living alone. You left everyone + everything for him. Oneday you two had an argument and he says this to you, " IVALAVU KAALAM UNNAI VALARTHTHA PETHAVANGALA VITTITU EN PINNADI VANTHAVA THAANE NEE. ANTHA THIMIR IPPO MATTUM ILLAMALA POGUM".

Your reaction please...... :think:

katteri
02-24-2004, 11:50 PM
Enna mappula pesureenghallaaa...illai vijakanth illai ramarjan padam partheenghalaaa.....
Vittu koduthal than vazhkai...
anyway sollaran
kovam thaninju sorry kettannu ethukuven illaina gbye....''ennavenalam pesarathaaa''

vasan
02-24-2004, 11:51 PM
These are sounding like harsh words that are given in the heat of quarelling... Its a lousy remark and can scar people. However, the reaction ought not to be violent or equally harsh. When two people fight if both are mindlessly throwing words what is the chance for patience and home building?

Whoever speaks like this is a brute - even if its a temporary, short term, brutishness... Best not to react or give into anger. Control your temper and manage the situation later.

sagi
02-24-2004, 11:57 PM
mappa ? he he he;) you have a very good heart Kattz, ungala polave mathavaalaiyum parrkindra parantha manappanmai. no mappu no movies....I was reasing a book and a very similar problem comes in it....and the wife commits sucide....i was shocked . so i decided to ask you all. you are ready to forgive him ????

Vasan - its true that both at the same time should not get temp.....you wait for your turn ;)

vasan
02-25-2004, 12:04 AM
Vasan - its true that both at the same time should not get temp.....you wait for your turn ;)

er..r........ Ok... I will wait :Ksp: :Ksp: :Ksp:

butterfly
02-25-2004, 12:27 AM
sagi,
In no situation shud any Man say that to his wife....if he did so there wud have been an heated argument ...so best thing i guess is to keep quiet when the other is angry...thgh its very hard :(.

vasan,
knowing u...i bet u wud never be in that situation :)

sagi
02-25-2004, 12:34 AM
guess is to keep quiet when the other is angry. - butterfly ennanga neenga, aathukarana paarthu athu endru sollrel ;) true i do agree that its very hard to kepp your mouth shut in such situation... ;)

Comenaughty
02-25-2004, 12:36 AM
Hey there,

Let me give you a situation. You came out of your home and get married to your bf and living alone. You left everyone + everything for him. Oneday you two had an argument and he says this to you, " IVALAVU KAALAM UNNAI VALARTHTHA PETHAVANGALA VITTITU EN PINNADI VANTHAVA THAANE NEE. ANTHA THIMIR IPPO MATTUM ILLAMALA POGUM".

Your reaction please...... :think:

think its a wrong decision by the girl in the first case to have gone with such a kind'a guy..... a very very positive approach...if the guy tortures u with similar statements, slap him once and take a divorce....coz if a women tells similar statements to a guy, thats wat a guy will do..... and women claim equal rights rite....so feel thats wat shud be done..... (satirical...isnt it :wink:)

neways...mine was "just a kind" of response..... :wink:....

butterfly
02-25-2004, 12:43 AM
guess is to keep quiet when the other is angry. - butterfly ennanga neenga, aathukarana paarthu athu endru sollrel true i do agree that its very hard to kepp your mouth shut in such situation...

sagi,
Othernu sonathu the other person...it cud be ur husband or a friend or anyone for that matter...when 2 ppl have heated arguments...anger wud only escalate if u keep arguing...so pesame irukarthu best...appuram medhuva puriyavaikanum..if its possible...or choose the best option..it cud end up choosing something like wat naughty said :)

sagi
02-25-2004, 12:49 AM
I did understand Butterfly...was just pulling your leg. that's all. No hard feelings.
I also sort of agree with naughty, but divorce and all?????? not so easy right? ep when your was a love marriage. why not give him a chance? coz if you are not ready to correct him then who will???

Comenaughty
02-25-2004, 12:55 AM
why not give him a chance?


i have clearly mentioned in my post, torturing with similar statements....so obvioulsy u give him sme chance :)

sagi
02-25-2004, 01:00 AM
oops...true you are telling that you can give "some" chances ? ;) oh ok.

out of nowhere - unga neenda mudiyin ragasiyam enna?? ;)

Comenaughty
02-25-2004, 01:08 AM
out of nowhere - unga neenda mudiyin ragasiyam enna??


pocketla $15 illa'nu artham :)...jus kidding....

sagi
02-25-2004, 01:20 AM
oh that's prty expensive ;) here its only $10 ;)

anainar
02-25-2004, 01:43 AM
Sagi,

You seem to throw all kinds of questions on human relations. Such kind of heated arguments are bound to happen when two individuals come together. You have added an emotional twist like love marriage, running away from parents etc. But when there is mismatch of expectations such things will happen. If either one of them have a bad day, and the other partner does something to aggravate, tempers will raise. But if there is underlying thread of love, these moments will pass away. But if there is no such thread, it will become hell.

Cheers

sagi
02-25-2004, 01:48 AM
but anainar it doesn'tmatter how tired he is, how temp he is...if he loves this girl for sure and he undertands that she sacrified everything and came out for him........then he will never say such thing to her., rite?? i mean when he really really loves her ???

Shy
02-25-2004, 02:20 AM
Sagi,

This is an argument between 2 people in love.. love marriage or arranged marriage is not an issue here.. Arranged marraigels kuuda heated arguments irukku. But the sentence depend on the situation and the fault in each party. If a guy for each and everything sonna, then thats a problem.. Appo then the girl can take some measures...but if that girl has tested his patience to the core, that he let out like that, then its not his fault.. Plus in a heated arguments vaarthaigal vilalaam.. its just the moment.. they wouldnt have meant it...if they have true love beneath, sure they will let go in a while !!!

Shy

anainar
02-25-2004, 02:36 AM
Paarungo Sagi, there is my support. Invincible Swordswoman of Geetham :D :D.

We are all humans after all and it is highly impossible to keep our cool every second, every minute, everyday and every year. How often we have fought with our siblings in a cut throat fashion? And do we carry any of such feelings? Atleast I have fought with my younger brother and we used to go for each others jugular at the slightest opportunity. But now I am in the US far away from him and everyday I miss him. And he used to fight his heart out with our sister, and when she moved to Chennai to take up a job, you know who was there finding a house, setting it up, buying things for her? It was him. The same is true with wife too.

Those are testing moments. If there is underlying love and care for each other, that will pass. If that is not there, then even a small argument can result in breaking.

Cheers

butterfly
02-25-2004, 03:02 AM
sagi,
anainar & shy sona madhiri...anbu irundha pesi puriyavachukalam...they both loved & trusted eachother to get married to eachother...dunno wat circumstances forced her to commit suicide.... :think:

Minik
02-25-2004, 03:04 AM
Sagi, if the guy had told her many a times then I think we should take action like what comenaughty had said. otherwise, just stay calm and after some time talk to him why he said that, and come to an agreement.

Bluelotus
02-25-2004, 03:17 AM
Frankly if that woman in the story couldn't take a bit of heat....she's a wimp. I mean everybody fights....and when u fight....ppl fight dirty. She could have come up with some equally vile things to say.

But when they have both calmed down ....they will realise they had meant nothing of wot the had blurted out in the heat of the moment.

Yeah I fight so much with my siblings....I mean if u can't fight with the ppl u love the most ....who else do u have left?

Blue.

PS: I think that couple is ideal for mariage councelling....they really have so many issues to work out.

anainar
02-25-2004, 03:40 AM
Yeah I fight so much with my siblings....I mean if u can't fight with the ppl u love the most ....who else do u have left

Appadi podungo Bluelotus! Adikkara kai thaan anaikum! Occasional fights are nothing if there is deep rooted love.

Cheers

sagi
02-25-2004, 03:48 AM
Thanks to all..... I am not against your ideas. Infact I wanted to see what you all say. I agree that you can fight...you have the rights...everything...but PLEASE MAKE SURE THE WORDS HE IS USING....is he says " nee thimiru pudichava" then ok. but he is talking about how she left her family for him. HEY< SHE LEFT THEM FOR YOU...may be you should realise that.

anbu irukkiravanga kita you can have doubts, but you shouldn't doubt thier love..rite??

suha
02-25-2004, 08:54 AM
aama............aadikirra :sm15: kaaye... thaan............ :sm09: annaikum.......... :wink:

correct ta annai annaaa :sm35: :sm35:

katteri
02-25-2004, 12:32 PM
Thanks to all..... I am not against your ideas. Infact I wanted to see what you all say. I agree that you can fight...you have the rights...everything...but PLEASE MAKE SURE THE WORDS HE IS USING....is he says " nee thimiru pudichava" then ok. but he is talking about how she left her family for him. HEY< SHE LEFT THEM FOR YOU...may be you should realise that.

anbu irukkiravanga kita you can have doubts, but you shouldn't doubt thier love..rite??

Sagi.. Words understood.. there r more worst words than this....
It all depends upon how the person perceive the word...
The state of the person who spoke the word..

When the state is bad especially anger ...emotional words arise rather than consciuos thoughts brain doesnt work when one gets agitated or in anger....

The best soln is to keeep calm.. minik well said if he keeps repeating the word often.. vera vazhi pakka venidyathu than....
I think u r reading a book which is OLD.....

Girls have changed they were not the same ... b4 10 /15 years...

Intha mathiri sonna sari than poda nu poikkitee irupanghaaa....

Appuram thirvoda enthi kittu .. pokavendiytahu than......

anainar
02-25-2004, 12:55 PM
Sagi,

World and times have changed. So is the concept of marriage. Life 10 years back or during our parents liver were much much less stressful. There was much less expectation and aspirations. People led a content life and hence life was less stressful.

But current life is not like that. Too many expectations, nuclear families, thousands of miles away from home town all create a sense of helplessness. A girl keeps thinking that she left her parents for living with her husband and hence extra sensitive. Any slight instance of neglect by the guy takes disproportionate size. Same is true with the guy. He was on his own all along, would expect his mate also to be so. This extra sensitiveness puts a huge burden on him and he ceases to be himself. That makes him feel, "Why did I get into this?". It is such that thoughts would provoke sentences like you said.

We have too much emotional content in our life and every action is being looked through that prism. A couple who could keep aside emotions and look at things objectively would either take these things as the other party having a bad day or talk it over and get rid of that extra sensitiveness out. If both these dont work, atleast they will be clear, they made the wrong decision and time to leave each other in peace by taking divorce.

Cheers

Shy
02-25-2004, 04:09 PM
Thanks to all..... I am not against your ideas. Infact I wanted to see what you all say. I agree that you can fight...you have the rights...everything...but PLEASE MAKE SURE THE WORDS HE IS USING....is he says " nee thimiru pudichava" then ok. but he is talking about how she left her family for him. HEY< SHE LEFT THEM FOR YOU...may be you should realise that.

anbu irukkiravanga kita you can have doubts, but you shouldn't doubt thier love..rite??

Sagi,

I think u arent getting the point here. Even worse than this thitalaam.. because when u are in a heated conversation, words just come out. But that doesnt mean that they mean it and purposefully let that out !!!.

So what... yes she left for him.. did he throw her in the streets or isnt loving or affectionate towards her??? hes the guy whose there for her even when they are in fight or not right..

Shy

unique
02-25-2004, 05:02 PM
Commit suicide is not a solution to anyproblem......Appadi tharkolai thaan mudivuna naatula janathogai paadhi korainju irukkum......Oodalum koodalum vazhkaiyil sagajam thaane....

Rednu kai thattina thaan oosai...when the husband is angry n shouting at his wife....wife appo amaidhiya irundha then husband thaana kovam thaninju poyidaraan. Husband nidhanathukku vandha aparam she can explain it to him that neenga appadi thittinadhu ennaku evalavu hurtinga irundhadhu....naan ongalai nambi thaane enga veetaye vittutu vandhen appadi eduthu sollalam....well if he is really in love with her definitely he wuld apologise to her for saying this....Ennapa India Pak e pesi theerthukalam mudivu panni irukum podhu,love panni kalyanam pannindavanga pesina problem solve aagadha enna.....Moreover yaarume yaaraiyume thittama iruka mudiyaadhu. Veetila amma edhavadhu thittara adhukaga amma kitta kovichindu suicide pannika mudiyuma. Kovathula yaarukume enna sollaraanganu theriyaadhu,after that moment they ll become alright......Purushan pondaatikula heated arguments illaina then thrille irukaadhu...........adhukaga committing suicide is kozhaithanam....it means that person cannot handle the problems

Illati as naughty said Viduthalai pathiram vaangika vendiyaadhu thaan,here viduthalai mean i meant viduthalai from her husband not her life.......

Minik
02-25-2004, 05:11 PM
Correct a sonnege unique, commiting sucide is the worst, but this was done before ages I guess, now I think more women are educated and they don't go for that, but they wait patiently to see what happens, if the guy is repeating the same mistake without asking sorry then only they ask for divorce, so now divorce rate is more than committing sucide.

Shy
02-25-2004, 05:12 PM
Purushan pondaatikula heated arguments illaina then thrille irukaadhu..

Exactly.. suicide just because of some heated arguments is not at all a solution, epapdi kolaiyaa irukaravnga eppadi veetai vitu vanthaaanga in the first place :think: :think:

Also unique sonna intha line 200% unmai.. fighting then pacifying each other.... ithu ellam thaan life...Life is not a staright line.. ups and downs irukkum...

Ethuku ellam suicide , divorce'na enna panrathu ....

Shy

butterfly
02-25-2004, 10:43 PM
I think sagi just brought in a situation frm wat she read...like everyone said there is nothing which cant be solved by talking...oodal irundha than koodal varum :)....



when the husband is angry n shouting at his wife....wife appo amaidhiya irundha then husband thaana kovam thaninju poyidaraan. Husband nidhanathukku vandha aparam she can explain it to him that neenga appadi thittinadhu ennaku evalavu hurtinga irundhadhu....naan ongalai nambi thaane enga veetaye vittutu vandhen appadi eduthu sollalam....well if he is really in love with her definitely he wuld apologise to her for saying this....


Let it be Love or arranged marriage...the above statement holds true...after all he/she is the one who lives with u until the last breath...let it be a yr or 50 yrs...or more...

sri_gan
02-25-2004, 10:47 PM
Ponnunga manasukkule thituvanga...

Pasanga veilia thituvanga...

Ivalothan visheyam, annalum athukku ivalo build up koodathu. :P

sagi
02-26-2004, 12:16 AM
Hiii, i read everything you guys talked about. but even shy admitted that "pen puthi pupthi" [sorry if its not shy,one of our geetham girl meantioned it in another topic]. I have to agree that time ha changed but still even well educated people commit suicide. i personally think it's not about whether you are educated or not, its more about whether your heart is strong or not..rite?

Sri_Gan - ;) poori kattai enda enna endru theriyumo??/

Shy
02-26-2004, 12:42 AM
Hiii, i read everything you guys talked about. but even shy admitted that "pen puthi pupthi" [sorry if its not shy,one of our geetham girl meantioned it in another topic]. I have to agree that time ha changed but still even well educated people commit suicide. i personally think it's not about whether you are educated or not, its more about whether your heart is strong or not..rite?

Sri_Gan - ;) poori kattai enda enna endru theriyumo??/

Naan thaan soli irupaen...but u got me wrongly!!!!

The reason that proverb is very true is in any situation, a guy will be level headed and makes a decision.. but a girl is an emotional creature and at a critical, emotinal situation she is mostly probable inclined to take a decision that she will regret later !!!! So penn buthi pin buthinu athu ethai thaan mean panumm.. emotinal decision makers.. But Girls do stand well when it comes to taking decision for the family either financially or otherwise !!!! :b: Hope u got my point ;)

Shy

sagi
02-26-2004, 12:43 AM
yeap i did..:) thanks to you shy :)

sri_gan
02-29-2004, 12:55 AM
but a girl is an emotional creature and at a critical, emotinal situation she is mostly probable inclined to take a decision that she will regret later !!!! So penn buthi pin buthinu athu ethai thaan mean panumm.. emotinal decision makers..

But Girls do stand well when it comes to taking decision for the family either financially or otherwise !!!!



I think family is a mixture of every possibly thing in this world, emotional creatures avasara avasarama decision eduthu veetula problem varum pothu than probably the guy will freak out. Iyanaar kitta may be neriya examples irrukalam.

If a women who has independent thoughts probably can take a decision much better in
growth of a family than a person who was grown with the family dependencies and who think dependency as the primary key.

(Very rare to find in atleast in india, west le women have that but not everyone is using properly rendu extremes 'cause of their emotional nature.)


Oru simple situation sollalam na.. Lets ask a girl to take a decision and it fails nu vachippom.

If you ask why it failed.

1. First thing you will see, they are about to cry. :sm12:

2. They might attempt to lie atleast 80%. (*I'm not joking here.*)

3. If you want to do a research on a certain things all you have to do is put it as a macro in their mind, you can see 1000 forms of thoughts for a simple word.


Onnum illa, Geetham thoda Mukku Sali kooda parunga, poori kattaina ennanu kekuranga... poori kattai kkum decision making kkum inna sambantham.

sagi
02-29-2004, 02:16 AM
பொருள் உணர்தல் do you know what it means sri? ;)

sri_gan
02-29-2004, 02:19 AM
பொருள் உணர்தல் do you know what it means sri? ;)


இப்போ தானே உள்ள வந்து இருக்கீங்க ... போக போக புரியும் :D.

sagi
02-29-2004, 02:45 AM
உங்களுக்கு த் தானே ? அப்பிடின்ன ா சரிதான் ;)

sri_gan
02-29-2004, 03:30 AM
உங்களுக்கு த் தானே ? அப்பிடின்ன ா சரிதான் ;)

:ee:

Seri topic a deviate pannama olunga karuthu sollunga :D.

anainar
02-29-2004, 03:42 AM
I think family is a mixture of every possibly thing in this world, emotional creatures avasara avasarama decision eduthu veetula problem varum pothu than probably the guy will freak out. Iyanaar kitta may be neriya examples irrukalam.

Sri, ennai ethukku vambukku ilukkireenga? :D :D :D

Anyway, what you said is, to a large extent true. I can give thousands of examples, but that will be like divulging TOP TOP TOP secrets. :lol:

Women who have lived outside their parents, running their own affairs do make a lot sensible decisions compared to the so called "Emotional Creatures". I have seen women of both kinds in different capacities and some of them amazed me. Some look for your sympathy, while some say, "Yes, I screwed up" and take up the ownership. But the percentage of second type is very less. Or they will defend the indefensible( some times like our Su.Mo. Please no poorikattais for me, yerkanavay adi uthai vaangi nonthu noolai poi irukken :pray: )

Cheers

sri_gan
02-29-2004, 03:49 AM
Sri, ennai ethukku vambukku ilukkireenga?


Naan vambukku ellam illukalai, oru family manukku than family pathi theriyum, athan invite panninen ;)

Intha topic kavuthurom pola therinchavudane sagi errrrrrrrrrrrrrrrmmmmm SALI pazhamozhi pottu plate a thiruppa pathanga, thirumba plate ange illa inga irrukku nu solla vanthe :D.

Our Su Mo, unmai unmai illai nu sollave mattanga... anna athai suthi valachu solluvanga naan corrite a kandupidchiruven :D.

sagi
02-29-2004, 03:58 AM
"குறிப்பறித ல்" என்று தமிழில் ஒர் வார்த்தை உண்டு. திரு.சிறீ அவர்கள், அதை முதலில் உணர்ந்து கொள்ள வேண்டும்.

sri_gan
02-29-2004, 04:06 AM
"குறிப்பறித ல்" என்று தமிழில் ஒர் வார்த்தை உண்டு. திரு.சிறீ அவர்கள், அதை முதலில் உணர்ந்து கொள்ள வேண்டும்.


இந்த " குறிப்பறித ல் " நிகழ்ச்சிய ால்தான் பாதி குடும்பத்த ில் சண்டை வருவதே என்று சளிக்கு புரியலையோ ?

:sm12::sm12::sm12::sm12::sm12: :sm12::sm12::sm12::sm12::sm12: :sm12:

anainar
02-29-2004, 04:08 AM
Sagi,

You got caught in the wrong foot. "Hints dont work. Subtle hints does not work at all". Anything to say, please say straight. That is rule no 13 in the "Guy's rule book for girls"

Cheers

sagi
02-29-2004, 04:14 AM
மன்னிக்கவே ண்டும், but i think you guys misunderstood something here. I think I was supporting you guys anyway let's talk about this topic now.

ilai marai kaayaga irunthaal thaan vazhkkai inikkum. if a guy doesn't h com.sence..then i am sorry something wrong with him.

you guys are argu here for the sake of argument. DON"T DO THAT. May be when you are not so normal , you fail to understand our "kurippu" but i am sure that before we even give you hints, you know that we are about to say. PLEASE>..i have seen this in so many families...who eva i met agree with me.....

sri_gan
02-29-2004, 04:21 AM
First enakku onnu theriyanum, illai marai kai naa enna?

Life le open thoughts and open talks irrukurathala yarukku enna problem.

Well intha "illai marai kai" inspiration I started seeing from the school times.

Some freaks crap like anything in the exam day that they didn't studied any etc.. unmaile mangu maangunu padichuttu padikalai nu sollitu mark vangitta ennavo rajiyathai pudicha mari... loose thanama irruku... :D

Any successful partnership requires honesty, athu illati ethuvum urupudathu.

illale kai marancha enna mariyaati enna?

anainar
02-29-2004, 04:26 AM
Sagi,

I agree with you. That is said for the argument sake more so for making fun of our better halves. But the problem comes when we genuinely fail to read hints and get caught in the wrong foot. Hints are ok, but hints alone cannot be life. But women tend to believe giving hints and reading from our actions. I personally have seen it so many times. Many things are totally insignificant to me and I may not tell my wife, but eventually when she comes to know, feels, "Why did you not tell me?". I say, "What, it is so trivial, not worth discussing". That is true with many families.

Especially when there is a function in inlaws house, it is like being in a boiler with so much tension and pressure. We need to watch what we say 24x7, what we do because whatever we do is going to be seen with microscope and every action will be analysed with the reason behind. I have faced it many times. I travel all the way from USA to India and I land in my inlaws house normally first. And because of jet lag, I will sleeping my butt off for a couple of days. So, I am dozing always. I go to my parents house which is down south after 4-5 days, I am fresh and energetic and go around there. I had a tough time convincing my wife, it is genuine and I am not doing it purposely. That understanding happened, after she travelled to India. Ithukku enna solreenga?

Cheers

sri_gan
02-29-2004, 04:33 AM
Instead of spedding the time in hinting, you can straight to tell a person what you feel.

"Give and Take Policy" nu nenachukittu family le pesa arambicha... some guys are smart enough to get used to repeative hints and they will respond in the way you like :D.

Ellam "Mind Readers" Phd kku pogalam.

suha
02-29-2004, 04:44 AM
vaatiyaar yellam inga irrukingalla? anga yaarum kaanom......... :doh: :Ksp: :Ksp: :Ksp: :Ksp:

anainar
02-29-2004, 05:13 AM
Suha chellam, cho chweet you are. I have given you a chocolate in the class room. Go eat that. Then play as you have done enough home work now.

Cheers

sagi
02-29-2004, 05:16 AM
First enakku onnu theriyanum, illai marai kai naa enna?

Life le open thoughts and open talks irrukurathala yarukku enna problem.

Well intha "illai marai kai" inspiration I started seeing from the school times.

Some freaks crap like anything in the exam day that they didn't studied any etc.. unmaile mangu maangunu padichuttu padikalai nu sollitu mark vangitta ennavo rajiyathai pudicha mari... loose thanama irruku... :D

Any successful partnership requires honesty, athu illati ethuvum urupudathu.

illale kai marancha enna mariyaati enna?

Sri , i think you are not matrued yet in this issue. You must understand something here. If there is nothing hidden, life won't be so interesting. It's life. It's part of evolution. Both good and bad are to happen....then the life moves.

Ilai marai kai doesn't mean that Sri. Husband and wife should look at each other as friends. They must understand thier partner is an individual. They shouldn't go into each others' personal issues. When you get married, it's not an agreement you sign. It's an agreement to remind each other that they will lookafter each other. so although he is the husband, everything to her....she cannot always tell everything directly. Both guys and girls don't change after marriage. Especially for guys, they are not ready to change that easily. [please admit it] he will h his own likes and dislikes. so she must give importance to his feelings. she can NOT always say things directly.

for example say that he is doing something wrong or something she doesn't like. If she goes and tell him directly...annikku sandai oinja polaththaan. instead of that if she says that once she had a friend who had a friend who had a friend, where he did this [very similar prob her hubby has now] and what happenes. Then the guy says "ok ok" but inside he will start to think. SO now they are FINE.

One more example say the wife wants to get a new fashion dress. istead of her asking 'can i get that". she says " darling, i saw a beautyful dress today....". so if the guy has the money then he will say "then why don't we go and get it?" . or say that they have problem, then he will say " ok next month we get it sweety". so now the issue is solved . this is called ilai marai kaai. both hubby and wife know what's going on...but still at the end they are not hurt.

okay sri? i can tell you more examples....but don't wanna make you read too much..:) take care

sagi
02-29-2004, 05:20 AM
Anainar,

I agree with you. I do agree "too much of anything is good for nothing". Girls must make sure what ever she says goes not only to her hubby's ears...also his mind. athu neenga sonna pola pesi theerththukkanum. that also if they look at each other as friend,then they ca,:)

sri_gan
02-29-2004, 02:31 PM
One more example say the wife wants to get a new fashion dress. istead of her asking 'can i get that". she says " darling, i saw a beautyful dress today....". so if the guy has the money then he will say "then why don't we go and get it?" . or say that they have problem, then he will say " ok next month we get it sweety". so now the issue is solved . this is called ilai marai kaai. both hubby and wife know what's going on...but still at the end they are not hurt.


Iyanaar unga veetula ippadi nadakkuma? I don't think it will happen like this at all.

All they will say is go to shpping appuram anga poi than ellam edupanga.



Sri , i think you are not matrued yet in this issue. You must understand something here. If there is nothing hidden, life won't be so interesting. It's life. It's part of evolution. Both good and bad are to happen....then the life moves.


Sorry Sagi. This is a different world to me, I have faced both extremes for a simple reason I was open and some are not... I think it is not necessary to get married to get those kind of experiences, if you quote in a general term "Life".

On the other extreme,

I've got inspired by some women (very rare, thats why its few) for the fact they are open too, so enkitta vanthu illai mari kai than vazhakaiyai interesting akkum nu sollathinga, I will not agree with that. Life a appadi run pannina, Life oda artham kandippa maridum.



Husband and wife should look at each other as friends.


You youserlf say the above words. Do you pretend to your friend?

sagi
03-01-2004, 02:49 AM
I've provided a few examples i've seen in from my friends' families. And I have never seen [trust me] a wife who goes ahopping and then decide...where i am from they act in the way i mentioned earlier. I am sorry , since I donno about your envo. and what's tht big deal about them being friends to each other? i don't get your point.

aswin
03-01-2004, 06:45 PM
If i were in your place the pathil will be "Ippavavathu Enakku thimirunnu therinjathey ..romba santhosam' . This happens in all relationships. One should not take such things seriously, seems like you both need to plan a vacation.

sri_gan
03-01-2004, 06:57 PM
I've provided a few examples i've seen in from my friends' families. And I have never seen [trust me] a wife who goes ahopping and then decide...where i am from they act in the way i mentioned earlier. I am sorry , since I donno about your envo. and what's tht big deal about them being friends to each other? i don't get your point.

I know women will taken notes for shopping items if it is grocery, avanga personal items 90% of them decide only in the shopping mal. Ella details um vettukku varathu illai. :P.

Well to me, In case of Friendship there is no hidden entity, intha illai mari kai, kozhi mela kurai ethuvume irrukathu.

So if you consider a Husband and Wife relationship to friends, it should have the same, Summa peechukku sollurathukkulle illa friendship na. Friendship has it own depth.

Relationship and Friendship are two different extreme points, rendu merge ahura chance rombe kammi.

For getting the good grace if some one uses the term "Friends", Its not a reality, just a fact they themselves not stand by their words.

My words might look harsh, but its a fact.