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Bluelotus
03-19-2004, 08:41 AM
Found this article .....and wasn't quite sure whether to post it here or in the Joke section.
Based on a book ...which I think was written by a man (Dr Whitehead) who IMO wasted a lot of time on useless research....


By David Harding

It is the one question that confounds even the sharpest female minds - just what is it that makes men tick?

Is your other half the rough, tough superhero type or an emotional dimwit who runs back to his mother at the first sign of trouble?

Now, at last, there is an answer, according to sociologists.

Gender expert Dr. Stephen Whitehead has plotted a ‘definitive’ A-to-Z guide of the male psyche. Entitled The Many Faces of Men, the book identifies 27 distinct but recognisable types.

These include the Achilles, sophisticated and charming but needy; Libman, politically correct and well read; the Neanderthal, an anti-feminist with outdated ideas on relationships; and the Backpacker - sexy but dangerous.

Dr. Whitehead, of Keele University, who spent 15 years researching the book, said his findings applied to men around the globe.

And he predicted that, with the next century widely predicted to be the era of the woman, men must adapt or die.

‘Some of the types I have identified, such as the Neanderthal, are going to die out,’ he said. ‘But men can change as they mature.
‘To understand them, you have to understand it is nurture, not nature, that rules their lives. Masculinity is not something men are born with.’

Dr. Whitehead, who described himself as a reformed Backpacker turned Libman, reckons those who cannot see their faults will fall by the wayside.

But others will flourish. These include the Chameleman, a smooth, attractive man with a mysterious dark side, epitomised by James Bond, and Gadgetman, a gauche, myopic geek who is good with technology.

What kind of man are you?
Achilles: Sophisticated and charming but also flawed and needy
Adonis: Obsessed with his body, usually sports a fake tan
Alpha Male: Extremely competitive, lives for the next deal
Backpacker: Sexy but dangerous; a relationship day-tripper
Chameleman: Adaptable, smooth, urbane and attractive - but never the man you think he is
Club Man: Blazers, old school ties, football shirts. Into male bonding.
Cool Poser: Very fashion-conscious
Corporate Man: Relishes security, a faithful follower
Gadgetman: Techno-freak, poor eyesight. Insular and socially inept.
Jeffrey: Social animal in a world of half-truths. Compelling character.
Jester: Loves laughter and an audience but prone to melancholy.
Libman: Pro-feminist male, politically correct, very well read.
Manchild: Ageing stud with rich tastes and little dignity.
Mr. Angry: Moody, aggressive but doesn’t see his actions as damaging.
Murdoch: Napoleonic self-belief, usually justified. Ruthless, untiring.
Neanderthal: Anti-feminist with outdated views on relationships.
Preacher: Fundamentalist views. Single-minded, fervent and intense.
Risker: Optimistic and overdrawn at the bank, likes to push his luck.
Romancer: Calculating seducer, dislikes women but pursues them.
Rottweiler: Lager drinker who loves his mates and his country.
Sigmund: Lots of angst, low self-esteem but reliable and caring.
Teddy Bear: Sensitive, vulnerable and a good listener - but not sexy.
Trainspotter: Middle-aged, plenty of brown cardigans, and obsessed with data collection.
Uniform Man: Emotionally insecure. Rigid, brittle temperament.
Wallflower: Unambitious couch potato with predictable behaviour.
Wayne: Heroic, unchanging, loyal and steadfast. Thank John Wayne.
Zebedee: Floundering and confused. Needs nurturing. Unreflective but busy.

[From: Metro, Thursday March 18 2004]


Well frankly I laughed quite a bit after reading it ...and thought i'll share it with the women-folk of Geetham (and the men-folk too :wink: )

the funniest bit was: ......well u tell me :ahha:

I think men fall into the following group.................
1) ones which mean something to ur life....brothers/fathers/friends
2) ones u drool over ...but nothing else
3) fillers....which fill a useful position but can be replaced...eg. the milkman, garbage collector....men who r simply there in the background

SO what do u Girls/Ladies think huh?
Do u agree with Dr Whitehead?

sagi
03-19-2004, 09:03 AM
Haiyooo ippidi ellam irukka?
hehehehe i am laughing now blue...
but let me write my comments in PM ;)

vasan
03-19-2004, 09:04 AM
Well, well.. good read.. I don't know about the research part, but whoever summed it up.. (harding?!) sure has a good sense of humor.. The funny parts were.. errrrrrrrrrrr.. well lets see.. Who am I? ... could I be..



What kind of man are you?
Chameleman: Adaptable, smooth, urbane and attractive - but never the man you think he is
Gadgetman: Techno-freak, poor eyesight. Insular and socially inept.
Wallflower: Unambitious couch potato with predictable behaviour.
Wayne: Heroic, unchanging, loyal and steadfast. Thank John Wayne.



I am not close to any thing else... of the things that at least, related..

Chameleman? Do any one know who I am? But Smooth (like whiskey :00: )??

Gadgetman? Poor eyesight, yes.. but techno freak?? Nah.. Whats a double click?

Wallflower? Couch potato, yes.. Predictable... like the weather !!

Wayne? Unchanging may be. Loyal? when convenient. Heroic.. whats that.. ??

rrr... I think I am kinda evolving.. Or god kinda left his job unfinished.. :ahha:

Or too sleepy or.. sort of genetically dysfunctional or whatever..

By the way, what does Whitehead mean by.. 'Masculnity is not something men are born with'?? :Ksp: :Ksp: Duh.. Are you sure this guys knows anything at all.., I mean he is not a quack or some thing... ?? :P :P :P

Bluelotus
03-19-2004, 09:08 AM
:sm12: I thought tht was the funniest bit


Masculinity is not something men are born with


And to think he is a man too....unbelievable

:Ksp:

vasan
03-19-2004, 09:12 AM
:sm12: :sm12: :sm12: :sm12:

These chaps are unbelievable aren't they... :P :P :P

sagi
03-19-2004, 09:12 AM
Haiyooo vaan.
you are "vasan" ..ithi kooda theriyaatha?
but i want to see the author...man rombha thaan lollu

Shy
03-30-2004, 05:17 PM
Sorry blue late reply :)

My comments follows,...but wanted to say this .. as I was reading thsi line



And he predicted that, with the next century widely predicted to be the era of the woman, men must adapt or die.


Ithukku appuram avar sonathu unmaiyaa poiyaanu no debate !!!! inifinite times true :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:

Shy

Shy
03-30-2004, 05:21 PM
‘Some of the types I have identified, such as the Neanderthal, are going to die out,’ he said. ‘But men can change as they mature.
‘To understand them, you have to understand it is nurture, not nature, that rules their lives. Masculinity is not something men are born with.’


:lol: :lol: :lol:
:lol: :lol: :lol:
:lol: :lol: :lol:
:lol: :lol: :lol:



Wallflower: Unambitious couch potato with predictable behaviour.


I think most guys are ;) couch potato.. Eppo paaru TV and very predictable .. cho chweet.. very easy for us ;)

Shy

unique
03-30-2004, 05:23 PM
Good one blue culd nt stop :lol: :lol: :lol:

Bluelotus
03-30-2004, 06:53 PM
figured one must come up with something against all those anti-women comments flying around ...but just couldn't belive one of their own kind would provide the means :ahha:

vasan
03-30-2004, 07:04 PM
figured one must come up with something against all those anti-women comments flying around ...but just couldn't belive one of their own kind would provide the means :ahha:

Yeah.. yeah.. we took pity on the poor girls who couldn't come up with a good one.. so we gave it to them ourselves.. :ahha:

You asked for it, Blues.. Putting the proverbial foot in the proverbial mouth.. :wink:

anainar
03-30-2004, 07:39 PM
1) ones which mean something to ur life....brothers/fathers/friends
2) ones u drool over ...but nothing else
3) fillers....which fill a useful position but can be replaced...eg. the milkman, garbage collector....men who r simply there in the background

Where does a B/F husband come in this? Is he a filler? Is he replacabel Bluelotus? :lol: :lol:

Even the for this you need a man's help. What a pity. :wink: Ithula next century is going to be ruled by women dialogue vera. :Ahha:


I think most guys are couch potato.. Eppo paaru TV and very predictable .. cho chweet.. very easy for us

I agree on this though. Any time give me a couch and a TV and the pestering part of me will be busy. Otherwise I keep pestering everybody around. My son is also shaping up exactly like me. The moment we switch on the TV, he is happy with all the colors moving around and shuts his mouth. :lol:

Cheers

pgopinathan
03-30-2004, 07:41 PM
I think most guys are couch potato.. Eppo paaru TV and very predictable .. cho chweet.. very easy for us


Ungalukku romba easy... Aangala predict panniduveenga. Enga nilamaiya parunga. Women'a purinjikkarade periya vishayam... idhula how can we think of predicting.

Sure there is some article/research in the lines "The A-Z guide to the Female Psyche". And I bet it is going to be much much more complicated :sm18: :sm18: :sm18: and funny :sm12: :sm12: :sm12: than this.

Or in the worst case, whoever, even



one of their own kind,


tried would have failed somewhere down the line, quit and started working on something more productive.

:sm12: :sm12: :sm12:

pgopinathan
03-30-2004, 08:16 PM
Another interesting article:



Made not Born: Men and Power by Richard Rohr, O.F.M.

The Cherokee elder said to his son before he sent him out on the great Vision Quest, “Why do
you waste your time brooding, son? Don’t you know you are being driven by great winds across
the sky!”

I have spent much time in the last twenty years observing and researching the state of the male
psyche, both in the secular and spiritual worlds. My work in many countries allows me to do it in
a comparative way, and my retreat work, I hope, allows me to do it in an in-depth way. The
conclusions I have come to are rather discouraging, but they also confirm the reasons why most
cultures deemed the “initiation” of the male absolutely necessary for social survival. It was a
fundamental structure of almost every traditional culture.

The young male, it seems, has always been the loose knot in the social fabric. If he was lost to
the world of community and spirituality, all the other members would soon fall through the social
net– his female partner, their children, the next generation, and eventually the society itself
would deteriorate. Today we have men “on the loose” without any social or spiritual mandate.
Just their small egos guiding them. And even worse, many a young woman is now imitating the
same toxic pattern. It is the only pattern that the West now knows.

In the past twelve months I have worked with groups of men in South Africa, India, and Brazil.
With some wonderful exceptions, I saw there what has now become a crisis in America and
Europe: the spiritual immaturity of the typical male. Older cultures seemed to assume that
unless the male is led on deliberate journeys of powerlessness, he will normally seek
and abuse power. The only external power that you can trust is in men who have also found
their real inner power. Power it seems is the key fascination in the male soul and in every male
archetype. It does not go away by churchy preaching or cultural poverty. It just takes disguised
and different forms and finally comes back to defeat most worthwhile projects or worse, keeps
them from ever getting started. If the male does not experience his power and his possibilities,
if he does not let others educate it and tame it, power needs/ego needs tend to control his whole agenda. It does not go away. Primal cultures understood this to an amazing degree, and they took steps to insure that it would not keep happening and subverting their community. In the church, we thought the sacraments of initiation were doing the job, but they clearly became
more about tribal membership and personal worthiness instead of any real transformation of the
ego into a larger Self. Now the word initiation strikes most people as quaint or meaningless,
and its only association is with the bizarre rituals of college fraternities.

The males of most cultures will ordinarily define themselves by external performance, self
created ordeals, and ego affirming tasks–unless they are offered a very real inner world and
larger outer world that is even more alive and challenging. If his inner life does not connect
him with “The Larger Life,” he will spin around in his own self-created dramas. Initiation is an
inherently “religious” task, and our secular societies are finding it almost impossible to address
because they live in a world of merely “market” values with almost no sense of inherent value.
Western culture is unprepared and incapable of giving the male (or the female!) any sense of
their inherent value and dignity. But even religion is finding it hard to rediscover its own roots in
transformative experience, because religion, in my opinion, has had more to do with a
belonging system than a seeking of God. Only healthy religion and authentic initiation give men
the true power that make lesser power trips unnecessary and even unattractive. Without
transformation, the male will always seek false power. Why wouldn’t he? It is the only game in
Mudville.

Positively put, we see in all young men the desire to be “great,” to be a part of something
significant and important. You cannot take it away from them, in fact, if you try, “it is better that
you have a millstone tied around your neck and you are thrown into the sea!” It is good and
needed, as far as it goes. It is really his first attraction to transcendence, but without male
initiation, it is usually drained into merely belonging to “a big something”: a marching army, a
large corporation, a cheering sports event, a megachurch, public attention, or a loud rock
concert. That much noise, public visibility or movement feels like it must be important! His love
affair with false power has begun. Spiritually speaking, he has become another mirror in a large
hall of already co-dependent mirrors. He has met nothing but his own extended ego, but now
“in drag,” as Ken Wilber puts it. Nothing significant, foundational or genuinely new will happen
here. And this is where men often live their whole lives. Look at our heads of state and even
heads of church. Our cynicism about power is at an all time high, and this after all of our formal
education, all of our balances of power, and all of our supposed Western enlightenment. Law
and education can give information, as Paul teaches in Romans, but they cannot of themselves
give transformation.

All historic spiritual traditions discovered another language and a necessary spiritual journey. (I
bet you cannot disprove me on that!) This “path of descent” as I call it, is counter cultural and
yet ironically, absolutely necessary for the very survival of culture. Maybe that is why we
Christians called it “divine revelation.” Each great tradition found its own words for it: the path
of the fall, the paschal mystery of death and resurrection, samsara, the Buddhist way of
detachment and emptiness, Shiva’s dance of death, the dark night of the senses or the soul,
the 1st step of the 12 Step Program. Without it, men are usually toxic to society and even
destructive to themselves. It is amazing that we should even need to point this out, it is so
obvious.

I guess we have cynically grown used to immature and self-seeking men (which is an uninitiated
man). We think it is destiny, and many have unfortunately given up on men. We hear the bitter
language in movies, TV, dating patterns, gender programs, and even greeting cards. While
misogny is clearly considered evil, misandry (hatred of men) almost shows you are enlightened!
But I do not believe that true masculinity is the same as patriarchy. The great traditions offered a way to this true masculinity. It is a path that men must be intentionally taught or unintentionally learn (life usually initiates you and sometimes converts you in spite of your best attempts to avoid life and God!). Men are made not born, it seems. Boys are born and not yet made, and you can be a 60 year old boy.

I have no hope that we can recreate a “tradition” of initiation when it has not been a tradition for
centuries. Our own M.A.L.Es (Men as Learners and Elders) program here in Albuquerque has
set a realistic goal of five generations from now! My only hope on the practical level is that the
churches can rediscover and retrieve a radical sacramentality of baptism, reconciliation,
communion, and confirmation. At least we have some sacred memories and rituals that we can
build on, although the non sacramental churches are going to have an even harder time since
they don’t believe in “rites” of passage for the most part, but only words of passage. I guess
we all have to leave it up to God who just believes in passage! Sometimes it has been called
exodus, passover, night sea journeys, conversion, repentance, or enlightenment. Karl Jung
said that the Judeo-Christian images are the only ones planted indelibly in the Western psyche,
and all the necessary images of transformation are there. We can’t create totally new rites of
passage completely from zero at this point in history.

It is fascinating to me that the classic sacramental rituals mentioned above perfectly correlate
with my present understanding of the key elements of male initiation:

1) Baptism (Separation from and death of the false self, similar to Paul’s radical theology of
baptism in Romans 6:1-11, the drowning pool and washing imagery),

2) Reconciliation (Analogous to the extended “grief work” and ritual humiliations found in most
initiation rites),

3) Confirmation (the Spirit led encounter with an alternative universe and one’s True Self. “Now
I know for myself, and not just because someone else told me to believe this”),

4) Eucharist (unitive and ecstatic experience of the True Self in God, Rich banquet imagery).

To these four, I would also add the very subversive Ash Wednesday ritual, which is one of the
most direct hangovers from primitive initiation rites. We have it all in highly softened
ecclesiastical rituals, but the message has become largely garbled, churchy, and made both
inaccessible and innocuous to the typical male. Initiation rites were always done in a way that
the male psyche would respect and honor. They were physical, concrete, brutal and honest
about life and death and God, more ritual experiences than words. More like present “tough
love” and Outward Bound programs than the ecclesiastical dressing little boys up in baptismal
gowns and later in white ties and suits. Rolling naked in black ashes is something that a young
man respects and remembers; a white suit is something he cannot get out of quick enough. It
does not name his experience, which is the deepest power of a true sacrament. The male
comes to God by struggling with his shadow, not by denying it or covering it over. The male
comes to God not through soft pieties but by hard realities. The male comes to God not by
fearing hell but by going through hell.

When men can experience and exhibit a truly new kind of power, spiritual and inner power, it is
only then that they can let go of their ordinary power games and agendas. But what the great
teachers seem to say is that the only time we can trust this new power is when it is a result
of its exact opposite–powerlessness. The only real life is the One Shared Life that is
experienced after various forms of necessary dying to the small ego. “Unless the grain of wheat
die, it remains just a grain of wheat.” Initiation ritualizes and facilitates that dying process early
in a young man’s life, just as the drowning pool of baptism once did. Jesus said it so clearly to
the first group of 12 initiates, who also “wanted to sit at his left and right, and argued about “who was the greatest”: “Can you drink of the cup that I must drink, or be baptized with the baptism that I must be baptized?” “We can!”, they said with typical male bravado. And he answered “You shall. . . and you must.” (Mark 10:38-40) These patterns never change.

“And when all is made new. . .you yourselves will set on twelve thrones to judge the twelve
tribes of Israel” (Matthew 19:28.). Jesus does not say that power is bad, in fact, he offers it and
invites them to it. And neither does any initiation rite that I have ever studied. They simply say
that power must be purified and “suffered through to” or it is never true power, the “dynamis” of
the Holy Spirit. You can’t buy power like a commodity, you pay your dues instead, the dues of
life chosen and death not run from. The four commonly used male archetypes: Lover, Magus,
Holy Warrior, and King are each in their own way about the holding and managing of various
forms of power: affective, intellectual, physical, and political. Even these are still referred to in
the Catholic baptismal rite when the initiate is anointed for a life of love, as “priest, prophet, and
king.” We still have all the right words, but we have stopped “practically” believing them for
centuries. The male instinctively knows that power is not bad, and in that he often differs from
some recent feminist interpreters. The male instinct about the importance of power is correct, it
is only that we have not taught him or trained him in how to find true power or how to correctly
use it. The loss to society is monumental.

We will not create a new world by some kind of flat earth society or pseudo egalitarianism, but
by each man (and each woman!) finding their true power in themselves and in God. Not
coincidently, they are one and the same finding and one and the same journey. Male initiation
rites, as the very word reveals, felt you had to get yourself correctly aligned in the universe at
the beginning –and then the rest of life would take care of itself. We have made the Christian
message largely anemic by pushing most of the concern into the future, a giant reward and
punishment story line instead of an experience of something now

If the male does not experience the power and importance of his true life now, I have little
hope that any set of threats, rewards, commandments, church services, or even enlightened
information is going to be strong enough to really change him. Jesus said to his spiritual sons,
“Turn around, believe the Good News. The reign of God is within you.” Always the elder must
offer the apprentice an experience of a bigger and better world that he can know and live in
now. Nothing else will be strong enough to allow him to let go of the false promises and false
power that the system is offering him at every turn. You won’t leave the beer of Mudville until
you have tasted the wine of Paris! Initiation’s work is to give the young man just enough of the
vintage wine so that he will never be satisfied with anything less. It is that daunting task that
makes healthy religion so rare and probably why we gave up on initiation all together. It is
pretty hard to orchestrate conversion, yet that is what we need.


May be, this article, though being more philosophic, will throw some light on what "MASCULINITY" really means.

pgopinathan
03-30-2004, 08:25 PM
Masculinity is not something men are born with


Actually all men are not masculine, and all masculinity does not belong to men.

So, masculinity can be associated with women too.

Actually, there is a gender theory which is dedicated to female masculinity.

pgopinathan
03-30-2004, 08:25 PM
Masculinity is not something men are born with


Actually all men are not masculine, and all masculinity does not belong to men.

So, masculinity can be associated with women too.

Actually, there is a gender theory which is dedicated to female masculinity.

vennai1
03-30-2004, 10:29 PM
Blues...good job on the A-Z of men ! :b: :clap:
but dont try searching for a A-Z on women... you will never get one... :ahha: :sm12: