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sboons
03-24-2004, 09:57 PM
Hi folks,

Should kids be given private rooms even before they can take care of themselves????

Cheers

Boons

Shy
03-24-2004, 10:06 PM
Good topic sboons.. veetula poi reply panraen :ee:

Shy

unique
03-24-2004, 10:42 PM
Ennai porutha varaikum no....will comment on it after seeing more replies

GoodBoy
03-24-2004, 10:54 PM
vivaram therinchona than thaniya vidanum...china vayasulaye thaniya vita :think: ..thavarana valila poga athiga chance iruku....
ena enga vetila 15 mela than thaniya vitanga..i mean pvt room koduthanga..athunala than nan entha keta palakamum ilaama nala pilaya iruken :D ..

vennai1
03-25-2004, 12:12 AM
sboons,

Yes :yes:.. a definite yes.. thats certainly healthy. :b:





PS: Sarvnaa.. I know of a gentleman (:ahha:) who got his room when 10 years old..
and still has turned out to be a 'Nalla Paiyan' ;) ;)

sboons
03-25-2004, 12:22 AM
but when should they be allowed a private space. is it advisable to have rite from 2 or 3 years old!!! where do u draw a line, when they should be allowed???

cheers

boons

Shy
03-25-2004, 12:37 AM
vivaram therinchona than thaniya vidanum...china vayasulaye thaniya vita :think: ..thavarana valila poga athiga chance iruku....
ena enga vetila 15 mela than thaniya vitanga..i mean pvt room koduthanga..athunala than nan entha keta palakamum ilaama nala pilaya iruken :D ..

Athai mathavanga thanae solanum.. neego nalla paiyana ellaiyaanu neenga solitaa ;)

Shy

unique
03-25-2004, 12:47 AM
actuala 2-3 yrs la kozhandai thaniya vitta it ll feel insecured. Those r the times when they have nightmares n other stuff,appo ammavoda aravanaippula irukanamnu edhir paarkum. Namba oorla enga pa privacy concept,maybe high income people veetila venumna adhu irukalam,but niraya per veetila they ll sleep in one room. Maybe for studying purpose oru room irukalam.

Indha oorla maina they give importance to their own privacy(i mean grown ups married couples). Adhunala thaan kozhandaiku oru thani room kodukaraanga from the small age.Indha oorla parentskum,kidskum paadhi understanding illama pogardhu mainly cos of this privacy they have from small age. But i strongly vote for a NO,in this aspect,that is giving private room right from the start

sboons
03-25-2004, 12:49 AM
i totally agree with u unique.. enna shy neenga entha option select pannineenga.

cheers

boons

Bluelotus
03-25-2004, 12:55 AM
hmmm...will explain later...
but yes to pvt room..from abt 2-3 ...cos otherwise the child will never get used to own room..in fact u can start much earlier than tht...1 yrs as well...just never close the door
I didn't turn out too bad did I... :ee: ..don't answer tht one...only rhetorical question :ahha:

Shy
03-25-2004, 12:59 AM
sboons,

My Vote is a big NO.

I totally agree with unique.

(1) Children are like clay and they need proper guidance in their early stages of life. they can never take care of themselves.

(2) This is purely a western concept. children should be give a seperate room and after 18 they should take care of their own'nu. Pure selfish act. Kuudvae kid iruntha evanga privacy poidum. These couples even at 50 think they are lovebirds and dont want to be disturbed. Inth amthiri irukarathu naala thaan naan shoulder kaetapoo stand on ur own sonaala, eppo nee oldage thaan vithinu iru, why shoudl i take care of younu irukaanga children here.

(3) Independency, privacy ellam irukalaam. but not at this immature age. As they grow, they can always learn that. Just because they have a seperate room, they wont be independent and I dont see what privacy u need till u get married with ur parents. That will only rip you apart and not have any close feelings towards ur kid or the other way round

More as the topic goes :)

sboons neenga enna solreenga?

Shy

unique
03-25-2004, 01:06 AM
sboons,

My Vote is a big NO.

I totally agree with unique.

(1) Children are like clay and they need proper guidance in their early stages of life. they can never take care of themselves.

(2) This is purely a western concept. children should be give a seperate room and after 18 they should take care of their own'nu. Pure selfish act. Kuudvae kid iruntha evanga privacy poidum. These couples even at 50 think they are lovebirds and dont want to be disturbed. Inth amthiri irukarathu naala thaan naan shoulder kaetapoo stand on ur own sonaala, eppo nee oldage thaan vithinu iru, why shoudl i take care of younu irukaanga children here.

(3) Independency, privacy ellam irukalaam. but not at this immature age. As they grow, they can always learn that. Just because they have a seperate room, they wont be independent and I dont see what privacy u need till u get married with ur parents. That will only rip you apart and not have any close feelings towards ur kid or the other way round

More as the topic goes :)

sboons neenga enna solreenga?

Shy

Excatly wat am trying to say Shy.....You can have privacy but adhu chinna vayasuleye kodukanamnu avasiyam illai. Here privacy is given for their own selfishness.

sagi
03-25-2004, 12:14 PM
I personally think that....hmmm :think: [ enna solla vanthen] yeap oru kolanthai. ....eppo thannai arinjukkura pakkuvathukku varutho appo thaniya room la irukkalam..

chinna age nna...hehehehhe ghost varum :(

sboons
03-25-2004, 05:42 PM
i agree with u Shy.. I think in my case we never had a private room kinda stuff till i was in my high school. that too the room was meant only for us to study. but we did have our own privacy though we didn't have a separate room. I think parents would start respecting ur privacy as u grou up. they becoem more like ur friends.. atleast this has happened with me..

i totally believe the kids are better not having a private space of their own, before even they realise they need one...

cheers

boons

venky1974
03-25-2004, 06:04 PM
I Second you shy on this.

Kids should not be given a pvt room till the age of 18 yrs. When they are with you they can learn everything from you. Which is sharing.

If they get a ovt first then they loose the essence of sharing.

More as we go ahead.

cheers,

unique
03-25-2004, 07:55 PM
Ennaku terinju inga NO nu niraya peru solli irukaanga aana yes ku thaan jaasthi vote poyitu irukku.

Shy
03-25-2004, 09:35 PM
Vennai oruthar thaan enakku therinchu Yes soli irukaar... Epapdi pinna 4 votes :think: ...mmm pakalaam enna solraanganu

Shy

sboons
03-25-2004, 10:18 PM
even blue lotus kooda YES thaan solli irukkanga...

cheers

boons

silican
03-25-2004, 10:26 PM
YES!
I support Vennai on this. Ippo Vennai should be knowing 2 Gentle Men. :yes:

Thani room'la irundhu dhan kuzhandhai kettu poganumnnu illa. Amma appava paathu kooda kettu polaam. Thaniya irukka vendiya nerathula thaniyavum sendhu irukka vendiya nerathula sendhum irukkaradhu dhan nalladhu.

Adhukkaga thaniya Room'la pottu Sedhu madhiri pooti vaikanumnu artham illa

Silican

reks
03-25-2004, 10:32 PM
I vote for a NO...

When siblings share a room they learn to adjust, share and to respect each others needs... it essentially fosters a closer relationship...

unique
03-25-2004, 10:39 PM
YES!
I support Vennai on this. Ippo Vennai should be knowing 2 Gentle Men. :yes:

Thani room'la irundhu dhan kuzhandhai kettu poganumnnu illa. Amma appava paathu kooda kettu polaam. Thaniya irukka vendiya nerathula thaniyavum sendhu irukka vendiya nerathula sendhum irukkaradhu dhan nalladhu.

Adhukkaga thaniya Room'la pottu Sedhu madhiri pooti vaikanumnu artham illa

Silican

Inda oorla privacy ndra perla they r taking advantage....ippo for eg:namba oorla oru 16 yrs pasanga or ponnugalai eduthukonga,even if they are given privacy they ll still listen to their parents. Avanga sollara adivse ketu nadandhupaanga,atleast we have the feeling oh!!amma appaku terinja enna ninaipaanganu,amma appa ndra respect irukkum....

Aana indha oorla paartheenga,16yrs la if parents tell their kids something.....the reply is do u think am a child....leave me alone,i know wat to do...u cannot control me nu thaan answer varum.This is bcos they r given privacy right from the small age.

Chinna vayasula edhukku privacy,andha onnu teriyaadha vayasula neenga enna pannuveenga. Edho oru 15,16yrs la privacy venumnu sonna it is understandable,adhuvum indha oorla thaan andha maadhiri demand panna mudiyum. If we were in India pasangana vittuduvaanga,ponnunga engalukku privacy venumnu sonna will they accept. Well ofcourse ippo niraya maarindu varudhu even in India.

Well kettu thaan poganamnu irundha endha situation leyum adhu nadakalam.

pgopinathan
03-25-2004, 10:50 PM
Let us look at this angle...

Topic "should kids be given individual rooms?". Inga privacy paththi onnum sollale...
In that case I would say "Yes". You don't want your kids to throw around their stuff and toys in your room.

Talking about "Kids' privacy" -
If we are talking about kids upto six or seven years, they do not know the meaning of privacy and they do not want privacy. They would like to be with their parents all the time.

This will make them totally closed people where they will find it difficult to meet outsiders and they will feel very uncomfortable in the absence of their parents. Teaching them to be independent, but at the same time supervising them, will help them grow to be more individual and unique. We need such people to take the human kind forward.

There is nothing wrong in making them sleep in their own rooms... this will teach them discipline and self-dependency in their early age.... Of course, you can monitor them with remote devices.

Secondly, it is not a ethical to share the same bed with your kids. Even if they are in their own beds in the bed room, it is not moral to have them (even while asleep) around when the parents are making love. It is a private act and to hold the chastity of this act, you have to keep your kids away. This is my opinion.

There are of course exceptions - like when the kid is sick - when the kid can sleep in your room.

Otherwise, I would always suggest a private room for the kid. The kid will not have any love lost during the time it is sleeping. It depends on how much love we give him/her during the time he/she is awake.

And up to the age of 7 or 8 kids look at you as the father figure. This is the best time to use that advantage and create the parent-child relationship.

And after the age of 7 or 8 when the kid needs privacy... GIVE IT.... You don't need to invade a person's privacy to know whether he or she gets in to bad company or habits.... their every action will tell you.

My opinion is.... give them the freedom and privacy they need, but at the same time, be their best friend... Don't try to peek around when the kids are not around to find what they are doing and what they are not... you can talk to them straight all the time.
Keep them within your sight and spend quality time with them. TALK... TALK and TALK... this will make them comfortable and they will not feel lonely. Try to be their best friend so that they come to YOU for any suggestions, problems that they need to be solved. I would say, more than talking just LISTEN to them. They will tell their hearts out when they know there is some one listening sincerely. Kids are always born noble... we implant the qualities of deceit in them, when we betray them during the time of their need.

If you don't give privacy to the kid, they start hating your proximity more and more. This will lead to a state when they will start lacking a role model or support figure
and so they start to look OUT for a 'father' figure or mentor. This could lead to a lot of problems, if the kid lands up with a pervert or inhuman person.

Again, my vote is for YES.

pgopinathan
03-25-2004, 11:01 PM
"Aana indha oorla paartheenga,16yrs la if parents tell their kids something.....the reply is do u think am a child....leave me alone,i know wat to do...u cannot control me nu thaan answer varum.This is bcos they r given privacy right from the small age. "

Unique, oru vishayam.. Neenga solrathu correct... Namma oorla ippadi pathil sollamattaanga... bayathinaalavum irukkalaam.

Aanaa athe child vezhila poi ethaavadu thappu-thandaa pannina veetla yaarukkum theriya porathilla.

Namma oorayum US'iyum compare panrathila artham illa.. enga kuzhanthikku anbu kidaikkutho anga kids intha mathiri pathil solla mattanga.

unique
03-26-2004, 12:42 AM
Gopinath

Nobody is saying NO for privacy to kids,but andha endha vayasula kodukanamo andha vayasula kodutha podhum.....

sagi
03-26-2004, 03:02 AM
i like rek's point
siblings share a room and learn things...

pgopinathan
03-26-2004, 03:14 AM
Unique... "Nobody is saying NO for privacy to kids,but andha endha vayasula kodukanamo andha vayasula kodutha podhum....."

Firstly, intha topic'kku answer Yes or No thaan irrukka mudiyum...

Venna thaniya "kids'ukku eththanai vayasula privacy kudukkanum"nu oru topic arambikkalaam. :)

ravigoteti
03-26-2004, 06:31 AM
Nobody is saying NO for privacy to kids,but andha endha vayasula kodukanamo andha vayasula kodutha podhum.....

Definitely true. But this can be argued from both sides.

It is during childhood..where people are more energetic and enthusiastic. They want to learn, experience and experiment. If that is hampered, it might affect their growth into a responsible adult.

On the other hand, too much freedom is also a problem. They feel that they have control over everything..that can lead to way too much optimisim, jealousy, overconfidence and disrespect.

All in all..parents should have the ability to control and put both into equilibrium.

unique
03-26-2004, 04:48 PM
Unique... "Nobody is saying NO for privacy to kids,but andha endha vayasula kodukanamo andha vayasula kodutha podhum....."

Firstly, intha topic'kku answer Yes or No thaan irrukka mudiyum...

Venna thaniya "kids'ukku eththanai vayasula privacy kudukkanum"nu oru topic arambikkalaam. :)

Gopinath

Naan topic paarthutu thaan vote sollaren.....sboons has specifically asked whether kids need to have privacy even b4 they culd take care of themselves.....hope its clear now

megatop
03-29-2004, 11:32 PM
Hi,

I wud vote a YES to the poll topic. My justification to that is :

You might have seen children of our country always pestering their parents for something or the other. To some extent we can call this as a good relationship. In the longer run it creates a dependency in the child. It depends on others for everything. Making the child always depend on elders even for trivial things reduces confidence level in them. More than that children develop their decision-making skills by doing things first wrong - then learn to do them right.

Providing a child with a separate room need not neccesarily limit the amount of love and affection parents show on their child. You can always show your love while you make them study, feed, teach or play. Living in their own room help them to be more organized. The mother does not clean the room for them. It is their responsibility to keep it clean. Later when the child has to stay in a hostel or live seperately, it need not suffer.

I saw a few posts about children getting spoiled. I do not agree to this.

Keeping them ignorant is not a solution. Keeping them informed is what could possibly solve the problem. You can protect ur child till he/she finishes schooling. When he/she goes to college, there is nothing that you can do to prevent them from getting exposed to the reality. Parents must learn to be a good friend with their children and offer consultation when required. They must foster good relationship and good values in them instead of threatening them against things.

Megatop

Shy
03-29-2004, 11:55 PM
Topic "should kids be given individual rooms?". Inga privacy paththi onnum sollale...

What do u mean by privacy in the first place? A Place where u have ur own space and that means u shud have ur own room right.. U cant have ur privacy in a shared room can u? So privacy pathi solalai solaatheenga !!! Indirectly giving a child its own room is privacy !!!!


In that case I would say "Yes". You don't want your kids to throw around their stuff and toys in your room.

:00: ada paavi... Athuku have a separate toys room. just because they messing up ur roorm, u want to give them a separate room. Nalla irukae kathai. We are talkign abt kids who cant take care of thmeselves. So inoru room kudutha.. angae kupai pana okvaa.. Paavam athu angae thaanae thoongum??? athukunu oru playroom/toy room vachukalaam !!!


This will make them totally closed people where they will find it difficult to meet outsiders and they will feel very uncomfortable in the absence of their parents. Teaching them to be independent, but at the same time supervising them, will help them grow to be more individual and unique. We need such people to take the human kind forward.

They can be independent when they want to be. U do need to force them to be independent when they are not mature enough to be. Thanaukku oru space it will except when its in its teens, appo paarthu kodukalaam.. Not when it cant tkae care of itself. Also its not proven that if u give them seperate room, they will mingle with outsiders. I have seen many American kids who are mommy babies even thou they sleep alone. ITs their nature.. So intha time u cant make them independent, coz they are dependent by nature


There is nothing wrong in making them sleep in their own rooms... this will teach them discipline and self-dependency in their early age.... Of course, you can monitor them with remote devices.

What discipline u teach them... Sleeping with parentsla enna discipline poiduthu??? Moreover at this young age why so many restrictions to it when its time just to have fun and enjoy its life????
Also again solraen just because u make thenm sleep in a seperate room it wont have discipline or self dependency... Those shud be taught when theya re matured enough to handle it.

Paal manam poogaatha entha mathiri kids kita u cant do that. its totally unfair. Americans do this, because its spoiling their private life !!! We at never cost shud follow that. Why do u think kids are close to theri parents and respect them than here. because antha bond, attachment ellam chinna vayasula thaan varum.. appo u cant seperate it from parents.. Oru attachmentae irukaathu.. Thats the major mistake most parents here in US are doing. just to be same as the ameri parents!!!!

About the marriage Life.. I wont say no more than when it comes to kid first, its always the kid.

Plus privacy kuduka vaendaam solalai.. kudunga.. but when its capable of understanding and handling it.. Dont force it!!!

Shy

suha
03-29-2004, 11:59 PM
hiyeeeeeeee :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:

naan 10 yrs liye saperate room thaan appo naan yedhukku vote podannum :think:

unique
03-30-2004, 01:08 AM
You might have seen children of our country always pestering their parents for something or the other. To some extent we can call this as a good relationship. In the longer run it creates a dependency in the child. It depends on others for everything. Making the child always depend on elders even for trivial things reduces confidence level in them. More than that children develop their decision-making skills by doing things first wrong - then learn to do them right.

Ennapa sollareenga..namba oorla valarndhu inga vandhu padika velai paaka varangale avangalam enna appa,amma kitta depend panni irukaangala enna. Though they grew together thaana independency varalaiya. So andha andha time varum podhu they ll learn everything,so appo privacy pathi pesungo....adhai vittutu vivaram theriyaadha vayasula adhukku privacy ndra perla edhukku nogadikareenga andha pinju manasai....

unique
03-30-2004, 01:12 AM
Providing a child with a separate room need not neccesarily limit the amount of love and affection parents show on their child. You can always show your love while you make them study, feed, teach or play. Living in their own room help them to be more organized. The mother does not clean the room for them. It is their responsibility to keep it clean. Later when the child has to stay in a hostel or live seperately, it need not suffer.

Private room kodutha adhu organiseda irukkanamnu avasiyam illai. Infact private room la thaan koopai podarthukku kozhandaigalukku freedom jaasthi. You can teach them to be clean,adhukkunu privacy koduthu thaan teach pannanmnu avasiyam illai. Namba oorla ethanaiyo peru college varaikum amma appavoda irundhutu aparam higher studiesku abroad pogardhu illaiya,do u mean to say that they r not organised or not independent. Not every person enjoys a private room in India,still they turn out organised n independent...

unique
03-30-2004, 01:14 AM
Topic "should kids be given individual rooms?". Inga privacy paththi onnum sollale...

What do u mean by privacy in the first place? A Place where u have ur own space and that means u shud have ur own room right.. U cant have ur privacy in a shared room can u? So privacy pathi solalai solaatheenga !!! Indirectly giving a child its own room is privacy !!!!


In that case I would say "Yes". You don't want your kids to throw around their stuff and toys in your room.

:00: ada paavi... Athuku have a separate toys room. just because they messing up ur roorm, u want to give them a separate room. Nalla irukae kathai. We are talkign abt kids who cant take care of thmeselves. So inoru room kudutha.. angae kupai pana okvaa.. Paavam athu angae thaanae thoongum??? athukunu oru playroom/toy room vachukalaam !!!


This will make them totally closed people where they will find it difficult to meet outsiders and they will feel very uncomfortable in the absence of their parents. Teaching them to be independent, but at the same time supervising them, will help them grow to be more individual and unique. We need such people to take the human kind forward.

They can be independent when they want to be. U do need to force them to be independent when they are not mature enough to be. Thanaukku oru space it will except when its in its teens, appo paarthu kodukalaam.. Not when it cant tkae care of itself. Also its not proven that if u give them seperate room, they will mingle with outsiders. I have seen many American kids who are mommy babies even thou they sleep alone. ITs their nature.. So intha time u cant make them independent, coz they are dependent by nature


There is nothing wrong in making them sleep in their own rooms... this will teach them discipline and self-dependency in their early age.... Of course, you can monitor them with remote devices.

What discipline u teach them... Sleeping with parentsla enna discipline poiduthu??? Moreover at this young age why so many restrictions to it when its time just to have fun and enjoy its life????
Also again solraen just because u make thenm sleep in a seperate room it wont have discipline or self dependency... Those shud be taught when theya re matured enough to handle it.

Paal manam poogaatha entha mathiri kids kita u cant do that. its totally unfair. Americans do this, because its spoiling their private life !!! We at never cost shud follow that. Why do u think kids are close to theri parents and respect them than here. because antha bond, attachment ellam chinna vayasula thaan varum.. appo u cant seperate it from parents.. Oru attachmentae irukaathu.. Thats the major mistake most parents here in US are doing. just to be same as the ameri parents!!!!

About the marriage Life.. I wont say no more than when it comes to kid first, its always the kid.

Plus privacy kuduka vaendaam solalai.. kudunga.. but when its capable of understanding and handling it.. Dont force it!!!

Shy

Shy

:clap: :clap: :clap: :clap: :clap: :clap: ,rendu viral serthu vechu whistle adikara maadhiri edhavadhu smiley irundha sollungo adhaiyum podaren.

megatop
03-30-2004, 05:34 AM
Private room kodutha adhu organiseda irukkanamnu avasiyam illai. Infact private room la thaan koopai podarthukku kozhandaigalukku freedom jaasthi. You can teach them to be clean,adhukkunu privacy koduthu thaan teach pannanmnu avasiyam illai. Namba oorla ethanaiyo peru college varaikum amma appavoda irundhutu aparam higher studiesku abroad pogardhu illaiya,do u mean to say that they r not organised or not independent. Not every person enjoys a private room in India,still they turn out organised n independent...

I completely agree with that. The reason why I supported it was to address that 2 or 3 % minority cases that depend on parents even after growing up. Maybe if bringing them up to be on their own helps imbibe more self-confidence, there is no harm in doing that.

In a nutshell, I support providing them seperate rooms coz I dont see any threat to their well-being but only benefit to them.

Shy
03-30-2004, 03:46 PM
You might have seen children of our country always pestering their parents for something or the other. To some extent we can call this as a good relationship. In the longer run it creates a dependency in the child. It depends on others for everything. Making the child always depend on elders even for trivial things reduces confidence level in them. More than that children develop their decision-making skills by doing things first wrong - then learn to do them right.

Do u want ur children to be independent like in western countries, where after 18 years they take care of everythign from their studies and food.. Then when parents are old, they dont give give a damn abt you coz, u did the same when they needed you.

Megatop, Its not pestering or child being dependent, thats the time you grow the bond between you too. Even in this current ggeneration, parents'na oru mariyaathai, oru kadamai that we should take of themnu varuthae.. eppadi.. chinna vayasula.. avanga aasai ellam oorangatitu..namakkaga irunthaanganu we know... antha connection u will never get if want to keep ur children separate


Providing a child with a separate room need not neccesarily limit the amount of love and affection parents show on their child. You can always show your love while you make them study, feed, teach or play. Living in their own room help them to be more organized. The mother does not clean the room for them. It is their responsibility to keep it clean. Later when the child has to stay in a hostel or live seperately, it need not suffer.

We are talking abt kids before teens.. Kids who cant take care of themselves. At that time how can u expect a children to clean its own palce and organize itself??? Whats the duty of the mother then?? just deliver it to the outside world??? No, Until the kid can take good care of itself... thats when its mature enough to understand then u can leave them alone.. like back in india.. when u go to collge to other cities..u take care of urself right.... when ua re in hostel etc.. so u mean to say that kids then arent organized? I say that kids at that time are organized and follow discipline and not get spoiled as the westernised where drugs and teen pregnancy are more !!! u know theres a article.. seeing parents having their private married life in their room .. many kids in their american teens fall into the pit.. because here individual life thaan importnat.. oru familya they dont give a damn.


Keeping them ignorant is not a solution. Keeping them informed is what could possibly solve the problem. You can protect ur child till he/she finishes schooling. When he/she goes to college, there is nothing that you can do to prevent them from getting exposed to the reality. Parents must learn to be a good friend with their children and offer consultation when required. They must foster good relationship and good values in them instead of threatening them against things.

Very true.. then tell me why the kids here are more spoiled than back in India.. Back there , we dont give them any information or sex education or talk abt drugs.. Just love, care and affection. But as you said, from TV to radio to everywhere here they preach abt teen pregnanacy and drugs.. but still 1 in 10 teens are in this.. Americans give them separate room, their own privacy... etc etc... keep them informed....so shouldnt they be organized, be like a dove that took only the good from the bad..

See thats the difference.. U just make them grow as a in individual without any attachments in life. oru binding factor ellai ... Thats what is different back home.

Shy

unique
03-30-2004, 03:52 PM
Kozhandai pestere panna koodadhu,ongalai thondarave panna koodadhuna adhu aparam kozhandaiye illai adhu....krishnarai eduthukonga even though he is GOD,still he was troubling his mother.....did nt yesodha like him more for his mischief......

sboons
03-31-2004, 05:15 PM
vishamam or pestere pannina thaan kuzhanthai, ille he/she is more like a doll. neenga correcta sonnenga shy and unique. pester panranu thani roomle potta, we are trying to escape from him appadi thaane artham or rather we are not able to put up with him.....

cheers

boons

arun_malhothra
04-01-2004, 01:54 PM
I think kids should no be given a seperate room. they should either live with their parents of with other family members. coz that will make them to work out things in right way, and they will know that there parents are watching everymove of them.

so its better to have them with family, so that they will not go into bad circumstances.

dauhak
04-05-2004, 12:40 PM
i think the answere is "no" for me :cool:

pgopinathan
04-05-2004, 05:21 PM
Venky

Kids should not be given a pvt room till the age of "18" yrs. When they are with you they can learn everything from you. Which is sharing.


Venky, I do not think this is possible in any situation in any country. Are we talking of *Eighteen* years. Imagine a 17 year old girl sleeping in the same room wih the parents. Or, would you imagine letting even a 10-year-old girl NOT sleep in a private room.

What are they "learning" from you and what is "sharing" here ???

Is someone wrong here or am I missing something ???

If you have such thoughts, please change them. This is not possible even in the most uncivilized of socities. If you are going to force this on your kids, you are going to turn them against you. If you do not change your ideas, you will be forced to change them the wrong way.

Please grow up guys.

sri_gan
04-05-2004, 05:31 PM
1. It depends on a family's economic condition.

2. To an extent, If kids are allowed to live in a individual place, it will certainly help them to become independent in nature.

3. At the age of 18 they are called grown-ups, they can decide themselves. Teens are from 13 - 16 / 17. Cut adichittu movie ellam pakka theriyuthula baa appuram enna.

Whoever saying a "No" give the reason so that it could be more interesting to know the facts.

My answer to this is "yes" when the family can afford to do it.

Bluelotus
04-05-2004, 05:35 PM
hmmm just a quick question...if those who said that children shouldn't be allowed a seperate room...do u mean they should sleep with their parents....or simply share a room with a sibling?

sri_gan
04-05-2004, 05:36 PM
Shy,


Summa Build up kodukathinga.

There is nothing wrong in a independent nature, freedom a proper a use panna therincha pothum.

By the age of 11 - 13 kids will be watching their selves in front of the mirror, its no difference for a male and a female... It means they require privacy... summa avanga enna pannuranga ethu pannuranga nu ellam pathukittu irruntha they will create a isolation unit with you.

Avanga curosity freedom is eliminated by parents... I remember you had strong thoughts on Love Marriage, Nalla Love Marriage ellam nadakanum nu mothala kids independent a think pannura facilty panni kodukanum... Oru Arranged Marriage support pannura alukku theriyuthu :sm12::sm12::sm12::sm12:

Intha thoughts irrunthave pothum kids will grow proper, ofcourse we have to watch them anna athu avangala urutha koodathu.... athukku privacy kodukurathu rombe rombe mukiyam.

unique
04-05-2004, 05:43 PM
Shy,


Summa Build up kodukathinga.

There is nothing wrong in a independent nature, freedom a proper a use panna therincha pothum.

By the age of 11 - 13 kids will be watching their selves in front of the mirror, its no difference for a male and a female... It means they require privacy... summa avanga enna pannuranga ethu pannuranga nu ellam pathukittu irruntha they will create a isolation unit with you.

Avanga curosity freedom is eliminated by parents... I remember you had strong thoughts on Love Marriage, Nalla Love Marriage ellam nadakanum nu mothala kids independent a think pannura facilty panni kodukanum... Oru Arranged Marriage support pannura alukku theriyuthu :sm12::sm12::sm12::sm12:

Intha thoughts irrunthave pothum kids will grow proper, ofcourse we have to watch them anna athu avangala urutha koodathu.... athukku privacy kodukurathu rombe rombe mukiyam.


Sri

Kidsku privacy koduka koodadhunu yaarum sollalai inga......wat we r saying is 2-3 yrs leye adhukku privacy koduka koodadhunu thaan......when they don t know wat to do andha samaiyathula thaan we r talking abt.......indha topic itself is based on that only whethere kids shuld be given privacy when they don t know to takecare of themselves......

We also know that it purely depends on how u bring up u r kid.....stricta irundha kozhandai nalla valarumnu sollalai..........but kozhandaigalukku onnum puriyaadha vayasula privacy koduthu ennathai saadhika pooreenga.....

sri_gan
04-05-2004, 05:51 PM
Sri

Kidsku privacy koduka koodadhunu yaarum sollalai inga......wat we r saying is 2-3 yrs leye adhukku privacy koduka koodadhunu thaan......when they don t know wat to do andha samaiyathula thaan we r talking abt.......indha topic itself is based on that only whethere kids shuld be given privacy when they don t know to takecare of themselves......

We also know that it purely depends on how u bring up u r kid.....stricta irundha kozhandai nalla valarumnu sollalai..........but kozhandaigalukku onnum puriyaadha vayasula privacy koduthu ennathai saadhika pooreenga.....


I will give a simple sample.


Oru kuzhanthai vilaiyadi kittu irrukku vachikonga... kallule thavri kila vilunthiduchu...

If no one is there near by or no one cared, most of the times, kids will try to get back on track.

But athe samayam, if the some goes running and makes huge scence nu vachikonga.. the kid was enforced to cry + it learns how to make a scene.

This is a basic difference.

At the ages of 2 and 3 there is nothing wrong in putting the kid in a seperate bed may be give certain access so the if the kid got some fear on (Monster dreams :sm12: etc..) they can run to parent's bed, I don't think anything wrong in that.

But eventually at the age of 5 they will learn their privacy to an extent.

venky1974
04-05-2004, 06:07 PM
Imagine a 17 year old girl sleeping in the same room wih the parents. Or, would you imagine letting even a 10-year-old girl NOT sleep in a private room.


gopi, Say you have a house with one bed room and 3 kids & parents, how do you propose the girl to have her own room when she is 18. Like sri said its also depends upon the economic condition of the family.

When you grow up in a close knit family and you learn to share , thoughts of having a private room does not come, or atlest that is what I have seen. If the boy or the girl need privacy they can use a single room that is available , lock it up for the time they want to use. That is all there is to it.

Cheers,

pgopinathan
04-05-2004, 07:47 PM
I understand the implications of the economics of the parents here. But, here we are talking of privacy when it is a choice. If the parents can not afford that, we should not be talking about their conditions here. As far as I can see, "responsible" parents even with modest means will try to provide that kind of privacy.

Otherwise, these kids that grow up to be future citizens will definitely be retarded mentally in some form or the other. No body else but the parents are responsible for such human beings.

USA, or India, people with better economic conditions DO provide separate rooms for their kids, as young as two or three years of age. Only that in the US, it is mandatory, and in India it is a choice of the understanding of the parents and kids.

(Can anybody, show me one rich family in the whole of India, that does not provide private rooms to their kids.)

So, my point of view is, the "only" argument is the economic conditions. In other words, if the parents can afford, THEY WILL DO IT.

Let us not blame the USA for everything. Kids in India DO get on to drugs, sex and alcohol at an early age, even while their parents are "protecting" them at home from these things. Simply, we do not have the statistics to compare these things, so there is no point in arguing who or what is good and what is bad.

We are talking day and night against the US culture, but let us be reminded that India is not too far back - may be a decade - in the societal developments. Ten years (or less) down the line, we will be seeing the same cultural issues in India as we are seeing today in the US. And at that point of time the US would have gone ten years ahead of us.

If we need to do a real comparison, let us compare the India today and the US 10 or 15 years' ago. May be then we will be on a plain field.

Also, I am sure that all rich kids (US or India) are not spoilt, and unarguably all kids brought up in single-roomed apartments are not the jewels of the society.

venky1974
04-05-2004, 08:04 PM
Otherwise, these kids that grow up to be future citizens will definitely be retarded mentally in some form or the other. No body else but the parents are responsible for such human beings


I don't get this. How can privacy be a reason for children to be mentally challenged. :think: (I do not like to use the word Retraded)



(Can anybody, show me one rich family in the whole of India, that does not provide private rooms to their kids.)


Being rich does not make one to get private room for their children. Its depends upon the parents. You can be rich and not have a big house .. I think siblings need to have a common room till their teens , helps them to bond better. Yes if the siblings are of different sex then you may think of haveing a differnet room in their teen due to reaons.

Let us not blame the USA for everything. Kids in India DO get on to drugs, sex and alcohol at an early age, even while their parents are "protecting" them at home from these things. Simply, we do not have the statistics to compare these things, so there is no point in arguing who or what is good and what is bad.


Yes..true, but one thing to ponder here is that, if you have a child with a private room, he is going to have more freedom to get close to such things as drugs, sex & smoking etc, but if the same kid lives in a common room or shares will be less likely do it becasue he will be scared that he will be caught.


We are talking day and night against the US culture, but let us be reminded that India is not too far back - may be a decade - in the societal developments. Ten years (or less) down the line, we will be seeing the same cultural issues in India as we are seeing today in the US. And at that point of time the US would have gone ten years ahead of us.

What got India into this? Did India ever have a culutre of private room etc.. We are learning it from the west.(Then again its freedom to choose) We are not blaming the US, we are merely saying the influence of the west to our culture.

Cheers,

pgopinathan
04-05-2004, 09:05 PM
Venky:

I appreciate your use of the word "Challenged" to retarded.



What got India into this? Did India ever have a culutre of private room etc.. We are learning it from the west.(Then again its freedom to choose) We are not blaming the US, we are merely saying the influence of the west to our culture.


If the West is vile, why are we learninging from it. This is a process of change, and it will happen. This is our hypocrisy... we keep complaining about the culture of the West, and - in spite of having a rich culture that is more than two millenia old - we keep adopting it.

Historically, we have been adopting cultures of all the civilizations in the world and growing rich and deep, and that is why our culture has lasted so long. Now we can neither point fingers at the other civilizations or ours for being so. We will have to live and grow as it grows.

(I guess, we are moving away from the topic of discussion here.)

The poll seems to be doing good, as it is 50-50 now.

king_143
04-06-2004, 01:15 AM
Privacy is needed when you think someone should not watch you doing something. There is a differecence between Privacy and Freedom.Do not relate them both. I say privacy to children should not be given atleast till they are sixteen, and from then till 21 controlled privacy is needed. So that they dont lock their door and .... But when it comes to freedom, it should be developed from a small age say from 2.5 years, let them try ( TRY not Force) to eat on their own. Let them start wasing thier clothes from the age of 12-14 years. Make them do house chores at this age. Allow them to choose thier study hours ( not amount), and assist them while they are studying and so on...

JUST RECALL FOR WHAT YOU USED YOUR PRIVACY FOR AND WHAT HOW YOU USED YOUR FREEDOM , YOU WILL BE ABLE TO MAKE A RESONABLE JUDGEMENT. AND REMEMBER TO UPDATE URSELF WITH LASTEST TECHNOLOGY TO UNDERSTAND HOW TO LIMIT PRIVACY AND MISUSE OF FREEDOM.

Shy
04-06-2004, 01:41 AM
Venky

Kids should not be given a pvt room till the age of "18" yrs. When they are with you they can learn everything from you. Which is sharing.


Venky, I do not think this is possible in any situation in any country. Are we talking of *Eighteen* years. Imagine a 17 year old girl sleeping in the same room wih the parents. Or, would you imagine letting even a 10-year-old girl NOT sleep in a private room.

What are they "learning" from you and what is "sharing" here ???

Is someone wrong here or am I missing something ???

If you have such thoughts, please change them. This is not possible even in the most uncivilized of socities. If you are going to force this on your kids, you are going to turn them against you. If you do not change your ideas, you will be forced to change them the wrong way.

Please grow up guys.

So what 17 year kuuda padutha inna... 17 year kid vachutu love panra antha parents are to ashamed not the kid :evil: :evil: :evil:

Kidsnu vanthuta athai olunga mould pana try pannanum.. athai vitutu.. ennoda life ennoda love eppadi sutha koodaathau.. thats what the parents here in western do.

18 yearskku maela if they need, they can be given a room.. again solraen if they need.

Its all boils down to how close ua re to ur children... 4 yearslaiyae athai thani roomla pootu independentu poi soli valakaatheenga....

They will be independent when they need to be... thats more than 18 years !!!!

Shy

pgopinathan
04-06-2004, 03:54 AM
Privacy is needed when you think someone should not watch you doing something. There is a differecence between Privacy and Freedom.Do not relate them both. I say privacy to children should not be given atleast till they are sixteen, and from then till 21 controlled privacy is needed. So that they dont lock their door and .... But when it comes to freedom, it should be developed from a small age say from 2.5 years, let them try ( TRY not Force) to eat on their own. Let them start wasing thier clothes from the age of 12-14 years. Make them do house chores at this age. Allow them to choose thier study hours ( not amount), and assist them while they are studying and so on...


King, I appreciate your opinion on privacy and freedom, may be I was lacking a few points of distinct differences between them that you mentioned.

But, I am surprised by the time frames of ages that you have mentioned for freedom and/or privacy.

'Freedom' to eat at 2.5: Do you define this as freedom ? My son who is 2 and half has been eating on his own for more than a year now.

'Freedom' for *washing* at 12-13: Again do you define this as freedom ?

If this is so, we again make mistakes in giving freedom to our kids. If I understand right, real "freedom" is given to a kid when he/she wants to decide the path of his/her career. You can understand a kid's inborn strengths and passions by the time he/she is 12-13 or pre-adolescent. How many parents can say that they are letting their kids chose their way or means of life.

Now, a bunch of people is going to jump back at me and say that it is out of sheer love for the kid that they force them to qualify for Doctors or Engineers or Lawyers. The parents chose to push their kids to the maximum in their own desired ambitions - not of the kids - to achieve their own dreams - not of the kids. How many artists, musicians, dancers and sports persons are killed even before they are born ?

Freedom... it is a word, not many people understand and fewer people have lived by.



They will be independent when they need to be... thats more than 18 years !!!!


Shy, one needs to have a lot of broad mindedness to see to every need of the kids and at the same time let them be independent. Independence to take care of themselves and choose their own career should come at a much younger age. You provide them with sustenance as long as they need, but stop fingering with their lives as early as possible. It is normal human nature to dominate and dictate terms on the people who you pay for.

Independence at "18 years"..... ??? I am afraid, this idea is very outdated. You have made lots of enemies of kids who are 18 years or below. Any takers ????

Shy
04-06-2004, 06:48 PM
Independence at "18 years"..... ??? I am afraid, this idea is very outdated. You have made lots of enemies of kids who are 18 years or below. Any takers ????

Enemies :sm12: :sm12: appo Indiala irukara ella parentsum enemies to their kidsnu solreengala.. whoever took care of you till u can stand in ur legs and not like in US making them independent in their small age so that their private life would not be affected and throwing them out of home at 18 to avoid to loss their retirement money????

Common gopi... Western'la neenga solra mathiri independentnu valakuraanga right.. from 9 months they are intheir separate home. .. appuram yaen antha bond that we have with parents back in India illai for these parents and kids.. Dont tell me I seen families they are like palkalaikalagam.... u know what i mean.. I am talking in general... not just here and there families .....Explain pannugo peech :)

Avalavu yaen 911 for kids (thanks venky for bringing thsi topic somewhere else;) ) entha oorla thaanae irukku.. namba oorla adichaalum pudichaalum parents thaanu nenaikuraanga.. yaen namba parents thaan disciplinekku adikuraanganu kids paesaama irukalaam la... oru third person takign control over me'nu think pani thaanae 911 call panuvaenu solluthu.. yaenna antha chinna vayasulaiyae u are independent.. no one can do nothing to u'nu mathiri neenga valatha naalathaanae...

Kids thaanae sapidarathu ellam solaatheenga... even a kid whose dependent can eat with his own hands... but orae difference... we mothers at this small age... nalla kulanthai sapidanumnu ooti, theenichu viduvoom.. ellaina as u know kids.. 1/4th kuuda saapidaama... they will play.. even doctors reccomend that :D ... so 1 year kid eating happens anywhere.. but we as parents also need to take care that hes having his stomach full.. coz he doesnt know that remember :)
Aana entha oora that 2 hrs u playing with kid to make him finish his meal is a waste of time.. So kaila kuduthu sapidarathai sapidunu poiduvaanga.. and they name that as teaching independence...

Shy

unique
04-07-2004, 01:03 AM
Gopi

Namba oorla amma edhukku kozhandaiku ooti vidara theriyuma.....adhula thaan kozhandaiku sakthi jaasthi kidaikum.....amma verumna saapadai mattum ootalai koodavae thaanoda anbaiyum serthu ootara.....indha oorla independence kodukanam...privacy kodukanamnu kozhandaikku enga feed pannaraanga mothers....even they don t breast feed after certain months.....u know how important it is for that child.....

Namba oorleyum none of the parents(atleast nammaku mudhina generation) compel theri kids to do wat they culd nt......they leave it to kids choice......u can see many school going kids roaming in bike back home......adhukaga avangalukku 2vayasulendhe privacy koduthirupaanganu ninaikareengala.....Endha time la privacy kodukanamo they r given during that time........

Shy
04-07-2004, 01:14 AM
Nalla point soneenga unique.... privacy and independence eppo varanumoo appo vantha thaan child urupadiyaa irukkum !!!

Shy

sri_gan
04-07-2004, 02:28 AM
Namba oorla amma edhukku kozhandaiku ooti vidara theriyuma.....adhula thaan kozhandaiku sakthi jaasthi kidaikum.....amma verumna saapadai mattum ootalai koodavae thaanoda anbaiyum serthu ootara.....


:sm12::sm12::sm12::sm12::sm12: :sm12::sm12::sm12::sm12::sm12: :sm12:


:lol::lol::lol::lol: Ennala srippa adakka mudiyala Unique....

Amma kolambu satham ooti vitta energy jasthiya irrukkum nu sollurengala???


Appuram enna sollurenga :sm12::sm12::sm12::sm12: Anbaiyum serthu ooturangala ennaga ithu vamba poochu..... summa sollanum enbathukku ellam solla koodathu...

Seri ivalo pesurengala... Marriage topic vantha mattum enn ponnunga pasangala Mama's boy nu sollurenga? *See this is the difference*

Joke Apart, oru age varaikkum than ooti vidanum athukku appuram pillai thana sappidrathu than correct, interally the kid will learn at one stage it needs to take care of its own.

Moral support kodukurathule onnum thappu illai, athukaga pillaingala parrots (killi pillai) mari valakurathu parents kkum nallathu illai pillaingalukkum nallathu illai.

unique
04-07-2004, 11:57 AM
Sri

I don t find anything funny about this at all........a fact is a fact...amma kozhambu saadam ootina enna thayir saadam ootina enna...even if it does nt have any taste amma kaiyila ootina ellam nalla thaan irukkum.....also i know that oru certain stage varaikum thaan amma ooti vidanamnu.....i have never mentioned that pasanga valarndha aparamum ammave daily ooti vidanamnu......but ennaku ippo kooda enga amma ooti viduvaanga there is nothing wrong in that...does that imply am not matured or independent or i don t have any privacy......

Also earlier u had given an example saying that oru kozhandai keezha vizhundha pakkathula yaarum illaina adhu paatuku than velaiya paarkumnu sollareenga...only if mother were around then it ll make a scene.....this implies for all the children even if they r given privacy....kidsoda nature appadi so adhaiyum privacyum pottu confuse pannadheengo......

You know wat until after marriage i never had a private room or anything......but still i grew up to be independent......my mom was a working woman.....so after coming back from school me n my brother had to takecare of ourselves until she was back home.....she wuld ve kept all required(food)for us....infact my brother is just 3yrs older than me....so independency does nt come by giving privacy alone......when circumstances comes one ll definitely act independent....

unique
04-07-2004, 03:43 PM
Gopi

Neenga Discipline kids la poda vendiyadhai inga marandhu pottuteengala

suha
04-07-2004, 04:22 PM
18 yrs la independence irruka kudadha :Ksp:

pgopinathan
04-07-2004, 05:36 PM
Illa Unique:

Intha topic'la kuzhandainga 911 call panradu appuram, adichaalum pudichaalum parents, appadinnu ezhuthirukkarada paaththa appuram thaan naan intha topic'la respond panninen.

I know I was going to go off topic even when I started... That is what I kindda meant by saying

We are stirring another hornet's nest here.


And once I started I could not stop until, I could give a complete picture.

Any way, if you feel this needs to be put under a different topic, I would appreciate it.

sri_gan
04-07-2004, 05:44 PM
Sri

I don t find anything funny about this at all........a fact is a fact...amma kozhambu saadam ootina enna thayir saadam ootina enna...even if it does nt have any taste amma kaiyila ootina ellam nalla thaan irukkum.....also i know that oru certain stage varaikum thaan amma ooti vidanamnu.....i have never mentioned that pasanga valarndha aparamum ammave daily ooti vidanamnu......but ennaku ippo kooda enga amma ooti viduvaanga there is nothing wrong in that...does that imply am not matured or independent or i don t have any privacy......

Also earlier u had given an example saying that oru kozhandai keezha vizhundha pakkathula yaarum illaina adhu paatuku than velaiya paarkumnu sollareenga...only if mother were around then it ll make a scene.....this implies for all the children even if they r given privacy....kidsoda nature appadi so adhaiyum privacyum pottu confuse pannadheengo......

You know wat until after marriage i never had a private room or anything......but still i grew up to be independent......my mom was a working woman.....so after coming back from school me n my brother had to takecare of ourselves until she was back home.....she wuld ve kept all required(food)for us....infact my brother is just 3yrs older than me....so independency does nt come by giving privacy alone......when circumstances comes one ll definitely act independent....

Unique,

So you are saying, creating a bond like feeding food is good. Well, You are forgetting some basic facts in here, I can speak up about that, but it will touch the domains no one even think to touch it... So I leave that here :D.

Apart for that Bond is creating, thats why people say creating a bond and it is not natural. See this is also a fact, ippa enna solla porenga.

When we create something, there should be enough propotion and there must be limits which is nothing but a guide.

For example, if some one has two or three kids and if the mother or father is crreating a bond with one kid alone it creates the jealousy nature within a kid.

What are you going to say about that?

Don't say it is not related with privacy, if the parent was grown independent they would have acquire the knowledge not to focus on one... But how many family really does that..

Don't blame the kids are always like that, yes they are 'cause they are learning you nature of conduct with them... which we all did and do.

Isn't this a fact now?

Privacy for a kid is a must and no one can rule its possibility. I think the Movie "MITR" was quite touching this part and they took a different diversion.

Birds kuda than kutties rekkai muzhaikira varaithan adai kakuthu... athukku appuram kids take care of themselves, humans are no different from that since they have the 6th sense.

Extreme care will also look like a poison to kids when they realize the difference between dependance and Independence.

pgopinathan
04-07-2004, 05:55 PM
18 yrs la independence irruka kudadha ??


Suha, we would love to have your opinion.

Honeyarjun
04-07-2004, 08:13 PM
I saw this topic only now... pgopinathan have already stated whatever I wanted to say..I completely agree with each and every point of yours gopi...
my vote is a big YES for separate rooms for the kids(assuming economy permits). and kids should be given privacy as well as the parents need privacy. Giving and getting privacy doesnt mean that there is no love between the parents and kids... I cant even imagine parents sharing bed with teenage kids..

I havent gone thru the later part of the discussion..will reply later after reading all the posts... shy..I read the your post in the first page..cant help asking this question.. have you been seeing tamil TV serials a lot..why are you always speaking like the heroine of tamil serials?? (absolutely No pun intended..am just asking in a joking way)

unique
04-07-2004, 08:56 PM
Sri

I don t find anything funny about this at all........a fact is a fact...amma kozhambu saadam ootina enna thayir saadam ootina enna...even if it does nt have any taste amma kaiyila ootina ellam nalla thaan irukkum.....also i know that oru certain stage varaikum thaan amma ooti vidanamnu.....i have never mentioned that pasanga valarndha aparamum ammave daily ooti vidanamnu......but ennaku ippo kooda enga amma ooti viduvaanga there is nothing wrong in that...does that imply am not matured or independent or i don t have any privacy......

Also earlier u had given an example saying that oru kozhandai keezha vizhundha pakkathula yaarum illaina adhu paatuku than velaiya paarkumnu sollareenga...only if mother were around then it ll make a scene.....this implies for all the children even if they r given privacy....kidsoda nature appadi so adhaiyum privacyum pottu confuse pannadheengo......

You know wat until after marriage i never had a private room or anything......but still i grew up to be independent......my mom was a working woman.....so after coming back from school me n my brother had to takecare of ourselves until she was back home.....she wuld ve kept all required(food)for us....infact my brother is just 3yrs older than me....so independency does nt come by giving privacy alone......when circumstances comes one ll definitely act independent....

Unique,

So you are saying, creating a bond like feeding food is good. Well, You are forgetting some basic facts in here, I can speak up about that, but it will touch the domains no one even think to touch it... So I leave that here :D.

Apart for that Bond is creating, thats why people say creating a bond and it is not natural. See this is also a fact, ippa enna solla porenga.

When we create something, there should be enough propotion and there must be limits which is nothing but a guide.

For example, if some one has two or three kids and if the mother or father is crreating a bond with one kid alone it creates the jealousy nature within a kid.

What are you going to say about that?

Don't say it is not related with privacy, if the parent was grown independent they would have acquire the knowledge not to focus on one... But how many family really does that..

Don't blame the kids are always like that, yes they are 'cause they are learning you nature of conduct with them... which we all did and do.

Isn't this a fact now?

Privacy for a kid is a must and no one can rule its possibility. I think the Movie "MITR" was quite touching this part and they took a different diversion.

Birds kuda than kutties rekkai muzhaikira varaithan adai kakuthu... athukku appuram kids take care of themselves, humans are no different from that since they have the 6th sense.

Extreme care will also look like a poison to kids when they realize the difference between dependance and Independence.

Sri

Again n again ellarum araicha maavaiye thirumba araichindu irukomnu ninaikiren....HERE IS WAT I SAY PRIVACY IS IMPORTANT TO A KID,I don t deny that.......but andha chinna vayasula adhukku avasiyam illai that s what am trying to say here......

Well u have mentioned about the movie MITR.....wat hppnd in that movie,infact the girl was given a lot of privacy n she was independent in doing things...though her mother was worried abt this.....she was given full support by her dad who was brought up in US.......But finally enna aachu the girl realised that she had done a mistake and she confided in her mother later.....

You may say that am being a countrygirl,ooran or pattikaadu it does nt matter to me,cos my say is still the same 2yrs or say until they realise wat is wat, i am not in for a private room......


Apart for that Bond is creating, thats why people say creating a bond and it is not natural. See this is also a fact, ippa enna solla porenga.

Don t mistake me sri...i did nt quiet understand wat u r trying to say....if u culd explain that wuld help....



Don't blame the kids are always like that, yes they are 'cause they are learning you nature of conduct with them... which we all did and do.

Isn't this a fact now?

Well i don t deny this,actually that is wat i meant tooo.........when they have to learn they ll....for this privacy does nt have to be given.......here again am not saying that round the clock u shuld be next to u r kid watching wat she or he is doing......privacy am talking abt private room......


Birds kuda than kutties rekkai muzhaikira varaithan adai kakuthu... athukku appuram kids take care of themselves, humans are no different from that since they have the 6th sense.


Exactly wat am trying to say......but one difference though is birds valarchiyaiyum kozhandainga valarchiyaiyum compare pannadheengo.....human have longer lifespan than birds or for that matter any animals......So oru paravai kooda thaanoda kutties rakkai mulaichu paraka terinja aparam thaan vittutu pogudhu....aana kozhandaigala mattum adhu edhuvum teriyaadha paruvathula private room koduthu neeye ellam paarthukonu solluveengala sollungo...

venky1974
04-07-2004, 10:25 PM
::Side Track::

This topic has moved from Privacy to Spanking..

Could any of you SuMo please split this and attach it with the Discipline for Children Topic.

Cheers,

Shy
04-07-2004, 11:03 PM
:sm12: :sm12: Sure I will.... I can remove it from here.. But I cant attach them back :(

If u want I can copy all the contents and do a single post there !!!

Side track start paninatahe naan ;)

Shy

venky1974
04-07-2004, 11:06 PM
Sure Works for me :b:

Cheers,

sri_gan
04-07-2004, 11:12 PM
Again n again ellarum araicha maavaiye thirumba araichindu irukomnu ninaikiren....


Maavavathu Dosaiyavathu... Nenga ethukku vote pottenga???

Kids Privacy No kka Yes Kaa?

Oruthanga No Pottutu Pesamudiyama Side Track Arambichutanga pathingala? :sm12:

unique
04-07-2004, 11:33 PM
Sri

As per the topic whether privacy shuld be given to kids starting at the age of 2 nu kettu irukku...adhu pragaram i voted for NO........and i ve explained my points based on that only.....but niraya peru adhai misunderstand panni irukeenganu ninaikaren.....like u ve assumed that kidsku privacy kodukarthuke NO nu sonnennu..........Well no i ve made my point clear i hope

suha
04-08-2004, 12:20 AM
18 yrs la independence irruka kudadha ??


Suha, we would love to have your opinion.

gopi.......yennaku opnion laa sola teriyadhu.........but question thaan keka teriyum yenna saiya..... :think:

seri yenoda opinion .........kids kuda 24 hourssum parents irrukardhu illa appo :think: kids displiens sa valra matangala yenna :Ksp: ..........appo parents iladha kids yepadi solungo :?

( idhu opnion illa kelvi) :ee:

pgopinathan
04-08-2004, 01:24 PM
Suha:

Ippadi kelvi kettu-kette 1991 post panninteenga. :sm12: :sm12:

Innum 9 kelvi ketteengana 2000 runs adichuduveenga..... :lol: :lol: :lol:

snyuva
04-08-2004, 02:37 PM
Kids Privacy is a must and no one can say no to it.

If they don't give room then they are very closed in nature and they are all trying monitor the kids. its bad its bad.

suha
04-08-2004, 02:50 PM
hei yuva nee vantiya va va :sm04: how ru? seri naan yehdum solalla :ush: me quite

snyuva
04-08-2004, 02:53 PM
hei yuva nee vantiya va va :sm04: how ru? seri naan yehdum solalla :ush: me quite

Your avatar looks great, eppadi panningo?

suha
04-08-2004, 03:19 PM
thanks yuva :sm05: .........

if u want ... naan meow acho sorry meow chellam illanna sri baiyata vangi kodukurein ok va :ee:

snyuva
04-08-2004, 03:24 PM
thanks yuva :sm05: .........

if u want ... naan meow acho sorry meow chellam illanna sri baiyata vangi kodukurein ok va :ee:


Cool. ;) ... Amma Yaarathu meow chellam and sri baiya? I know only sweet vasan.

unique
04-08-2004, 03:29 PM
Knock knock enna nadakudhu inge.......pls topic continue pannungo inga chit chat pannadheengo pls..........Suha chellam kids corner la poyi chat pannu da.....inga continue arguing with the topic da ok va.............

Shy
04-08-2004, 03:33 PM
Yuva, welcome back... Theres a topic called kids corner in mens talk :sm12: angae poi chitchat panungoo.. This is serious talk okvaa !!!

Thanks

Shy

Shy
04-08-2004, 03:35 PM
thanks yuva :sm05: .........

if u want ... naan meow acho sorry meow chellam illanna sri baiyata vangi kodukurein ok va :ee:

Suha kids corner kootitu pooda yuvaa'vaa.. seems he/she dont know where it is !!!

Shy

sri_gan
04-08-2004, 03:37 PM
Suha,

Podusugalai ellam enga kuttitu poha solli irruken.

suha
04-08-2004, 04:02 PM
acho ok sorry shy akka.....unique akka........sri baiya :sm03: :sm03: :sm03:

oi yuva come to kids corner ok va :sm04:

snyuva
04-08-2004, 04:06 PM
Sorry Shy, Unique.

Don't kill my active membership 'cause ot that :cry:.

Ok Thoughts on the topic:

1. Kids must be given privacy, so that they will have a habit of self learning.

2. Kids must be given privacy, so that they don't need to depend on others for everything.

suha
04-08-2004, 04:33 PM
1. Kids must be given privacy, so that they will have a habit of self learning.

2. Kids must be given privacy, so that they don't need to depend on others for everything.

yuva correct :yes:

kids want privacy thaan....... after 10 yrs privacy vennum
adhuku kaga bad habbits laam vandhudum nu biyabada kudadhu :Ksp:

pgopinathan
04-08-2004, 07:02 PM
Kutti pasangala/ponnugala :

Ozhunga topic'la pesunga, illanaa maththavangala pesa vudungappa. Ippadi out of topic pesina line of thought :think: :think: kettu poguthilla.


:D :D