A Soul Mate - Page 4

View Poll Results: A Soul Mate

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  • Can be a Friend.

    6 75.00%
  • Definetely a Lover.

    2 25.00%
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Thread: A Soul Mate

  1. #61
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    Pattams,

    You seem to be living in utopian world. You have eulogised marriage and soulmate to the highest extent possible. It is a perfect role model life everyone looks for but very few get it. You sure need a shrink to get a dose of reality.

    Husband-wife relationship atleast in our culture is so eulogised that we miss to look at the reality. We expect our spouse to be our soulmate and comrpomise everything we are to keep that thing alive. Relationships hardly accept we as we are. It is a question how much distance one is willing to go to keep it going.

    You live with one person long enough, we can easily figure out his/her physical requirements like whether thirsty or hungry. It shows in the face. But the innermost self does not show in the face and we might live with each other for 70 years and still dont know the inner depths of onself. That is why I am saying, instead of looking at the soulmate through the prism of wife/friend and has to be another soul, look at oneself itself. Whether to reveal oneself is one's choice and so there is no better person that oneself to know better.

    Am I being coherent? Or drifting?

    Cheers
    Every dog has its day. Today is my day.

  2. #62

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    Pattams,

    You seem to be living in utopian world. You have eulogised marriage and soulmate to the highest extent possible. It is a perfect role model life everyone looks for but very few get it. You sure need a shrink to get a dose of reality.
    anainar,
    posted it after watching HumTum ...may be the effect of the movie...neengalum paarungo

    seriuosly...take time & think...who are u close to after ur mom???...who understands u better after ur mom??...who do u find looking up to for suggestions & ideas??...who do u argue most with ??...how much ever u rely on urself...there are times u come out & seek ur soul mate.......

  3. #63
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    Pattams,

    I knew that when I read the passage. Only movie romance and life are picture perfect. : :D :D :D.

    Coming to the introspection part, it is really difficult to pinpoint some one. I argue with anybody and everybody. And I never look upto some one for suggestions or ideas. I do the fact finding myself.I have my own philosophies of life and go according to that. I never flinch to do what I feel as right even if it means heartburns. It is for this reason, I dont find it necessary to have a soulmate. For me, me myself is the soulmate.

    Whoever tried to understand me or thought they understood me have failed miserably. I kept telling who ever tried not to do that. I dont expect anyone for that matter to understand me. It will be futile to try to understand a human mind or claim to have understood. That is why I find this concept of soulmate a total farce, meant for posters and greeting cards. Take life as it comes with out any preconditions or expectations. That has been my philosophy. Soulmate, Understaning --- Keep it in the garage before entering the house.

    Cheers
    Every dog has its day. Today is my day.

  4. #64
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    Quote Originally Posted by anainar
    Pattams,

    You seem to be living in utopian world. You have eulogised marriage and soulmate to the highest extent possible. It is a perfect role model life everyone looks for but very few get it. You sure need a shrink to get a dose of reality.

    Husband-wife relationship atleast in our culture is so eulogised that we miss to look at the reality. We expect our spouse to be our soulmate and comrpomise everything we are to keep that thing alive. Relationships hardly accept we as we are. It is a question how much distance one is willing to go to keep it going.

    You live with one person long enough, we can easily figure out his/her physical requirements like whether thirsty or hungry. It shows in the face. But the innermost self does not show in the face and we might live with each other for 70 years and still dont know the inner depths of onself. That is why I am saying, instead of looking at the soulmate through the prism of wife/friend and has to be another soul, look at oneself itself. Whether to reveal oneself is one's choice and so there is no better person that oneself to know better.

    Am I being coherent? Or drifting?

    Cheers
    Anainar... Sorry to break in a conversation, but like to add few points.

    I dont understand ur logic of explanation. Ofcourse only I can know what I am thinking deep inside me. Only I know what my next thoughtset is going to be. How can I be soulmate to myself?

    It got to be other than you.... for the following reasons

    (1) The person is the only one in ur life, where u can be urself. I mean u have no boundaries. This is the person where u can do whatever u want to other than when u are urself. There are certain limits which expands when it comes to parents, siblings, relatives and friends.

    (2) After 70 years, this person will be the only person who understands you more than any other humans u may ever know. Of course this person might have not understood you completely as u understand urself. Because you urself might not understand urself perfectly 200% right?

    An example of you cant predict urself - If u had seen the movie "transporter" the hero is a guy whose famous of transporting anything hes given. His advantage, he never looks what hes given. But once he sees a girl that hes transporting, however hard he try to ignore her and run away he cant. He curses himself because this was the first time he was doing such stupid things of taking care of her. FYI- he had been with girls before.

    So the point is, statistically if you know 95% of urself, this soulmate will be a person who known ur 90% and then comes others. So next to you, this person is the only one that u open urself too.

    Ur concept of compromise, understanding in a marriage by itself is a reality. You do these things not just because you need to make this relationship survive, but thats because u want it. U might compromise on certain things in ur job, but u weigh the benefits u get in that and chose to compromise and be in that job. Thats how ur relationship works too. Yes u bent urself a bit because u want to be with that person forever. Because the things u change weighs less when compared to the satisfication that u get spending ur life with them. Again this is not to keep the relationship going, but that what u chose to be happy!

    Shy
    I Geetham

  5. #65
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    Shy, no need to say sorry. It is an open discussion. Else we will be doing it in PM. :D :D

    Again this is not to keep the relationship going, but that what u chose to be happy!
    It is sugar coated statement, typical of proponents of soulmate theory. Making the partner to choose by itself is a compromise. Saying "I will be happy if you do this is" another way of making the compromise happen. Many times it goes in a coercive way also. For e.g, the wife could force the husband to stay with her parents. She can indulge in all kinds of non cooperation movement to make it happen. So going by your logic the husband has to choose and obviously he chooses to go with his inlaws. It might be the reverse with husband forcing also. I am not gender specific but giving and example. Does this mean that spouse is a soulmate only because he/she compromises?

    I did see the movie transporter. I did not see any passion in their relationship, but more of compassion for a fellow human being. The hero gets into the tangle only because he thinks there are human lives at stake. Not because he compromises himself for non-existant soulmate.

    I dont believe in this 95% business. Of course, I can predict physical requirements like hunger, thirst etc. But mental requirements - I doubt. Because that is something that keeps changing rapidly and no one will be able to keep pace with it. I am better off keeping those things to myself, rather than trying to share and develop another person to know what I am thinking. I have seen on every occassion whenever someone thought "this is what nainar wants" eventually to end up wrong. So I tell them, do not make assumptions or try to understand me. Ask me anything and I will answer objectively. That has been my stance so far. I dont know what I might think when I am 70, but hey, that is a long way to go. :D :D

    So one can be happy at being himself and be his/her own soulmate. There is nothing stopping from that. Soul itself is an abstract entity. Why can't a soulmate be an abstract entity?

    Cheers
    Every dog has its day. Today is my day.

  6. #66

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    Quote Originally Posted by Shy
    An example of you cant predict urself - If u had seen the movie "transporter" the hero is a guy whose famous of transporting anything hes given. His advantage, he never looks what hes given. But once he sees a girl that hes transporting, however hard he try to ignore her and run away he cant. He curses himself because this was the first time he was doing such stupid things of taking care of her. FYI- he had been with girls before.
    Romba romba side-track.. so much out of the topic, but still..

    I thought I was the only one who saw this film.. Jason Statham, Hsu Chi and a 7 Series BMW... Now, why can't every movie be made like this.. :P :P :P :P

    Teacher intha movie-la irunthu philosophical quote ellam kudukkaraanga.. Wow.... :P :P Ippdi ellam yosiththu padam paarpeengala.. Sorry, rendu kan, one for Hsu and another for the Beemer..

    vasan...
    Short Measures
    It is a wretched taste to be gratified with mediocrity when the excellent lies before us - Isaac Disraeli

  7. #67

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    Ur concept of compromise, understanding in a marriage by itself is a reality. You do these things not just because you need to make this relationship survive, but thats because u want it. U might compromise on certain things in ur job, but u weigh the benefits u get in that and chose to compromise and be in that job. Thats how ur relationship works too. Yes u bent urself a bit because u want to be with that person forever. Because the things u change weighs less when compared to the satisfication that u get spending ur life with them. Again this is not to keep the relationship going, but that what u chose to be happy!

    Shy
    cant explain it any better ...nalla solli irukeengo shy

  8. #68
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    What Iyanaar says is Soul Partners and Soul Relations.

    What we are talking about is Soul Mates like Class mates.

    So, All loving parties from now on must use only Soul Partners or Soul Relations. All best/good/nice/real friends can say themselves as soul mates.



  9. #69
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    Side track for Vasan...

    There is also a Merc in the film. His Beamer explodes and he steals Merc from the villains. I saw a Beamer 7 in Bangalore next to my poor man's luxury car Lancer. It looked gigantic and like Black stallion. So so so so so so so handsome, the wheel arches, wide tyres... Man, what a car!!! Will I ever get to drive it apart from drooling?? Unless I win 10 million in Powerball.

    Cheers
    Every dog has its day. Today is my day.

  10. #70
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    Anainar you cannot be your own soulmate.

    the first step to becoming a more enlightened being is to "know oneself"
    (misquoted...The Oracle of Delphi said to Socrates "know thyself" )

    if you can achieve this ...then you shall reach the top of Maslow's pyramid with ease.


    Now the soulmate is a different soul...not your own..
    and okie ...u don't need a soulmate. That however does not mean that you are your own soulmate

    Ladies!!
    nooo..
    ur spouse does not have to be your soulmate.
    anyway ...I think u might be happier if the spouse isn't ur soulmate ...but just ur life mate.
    too many expectations if it is your soulmate.


    I refuse to accept that marriage is a bed of roses...it's one compromise after another... doesn't even sound very appealing...
    and I digress....sorry

    soulmate or not soulmate?
    that is the question



    blue.


    PS: Anainar, go hire one , that way u get to drive it at least for an hour
    Cum recte vivis, ne cures verba malorum


  11. #71
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    Quote Originally Posted by Blues
    Ladies!!
    nooo..
    ur spouse does not have to be your soulmate.
    anyway ...I think u might be happier if the spouse isn't ur soulmate ...but just ur life mate.
    too many expectations if it is your soulmate.

    Sollunga Nalla Sollunga... Inga neriya perukku athu theriya mattengethu... ithai sonna padam pottu thitta vera seyvanga.... ellam neram.

  12. #72
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    Bcos shy akka and anai anna , fly akka married person........adhu ku thaan spouse thaan soulmate solrangha.........

    ilana poori katai la villum adi........

    ps: candy sorry I dont want to marry u

    apuram ungalla married pana ivangala madiri ye ......... namballum ippadi thaan think pananum

    chumma chumma kidding enna adikadingo

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