How to 'look' busy
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Thread: How to 'look' busy

  1. #1

    Default How to 'look' busy

    For those who sit infront of the computer (Office Humour)

    1. Never walk without a document in your hands

    People with documents in their hands look like hardworking employees heading for important meetings. People with nothing in their hands look like they're heading for the canteen. People with a newspaper in their hand look like they're heading for the toilet. Above all, make sure you carry loads of stuff home with you at night, thus generating the false impression that you work longer hours than you do.

    2. Use computers to look busy

    Any time you use a computer, it looks like "work" to the casual observer. You can send and receive personal e-mail, chat and generally have a blast without doing anything remotely related to work. These aren't exactly the societal benefits that the proponents of the computer revolution would like to talk about but they're not bad either. When you get caught by your boss - and you “will” get caught .Your best defense is to claim you're teaching yourself to use new software, thus saving valuable training expenses.

    3. Messy desk

    Top management can get away with a clean desk. For the rest of us, it looks like we're not working hard enough. Build huge piles of documents around your workspace. To the observer, last year's work looks the same as today's work; it's volume that counts. Pile them high and wide. If you know somebody is coming to your desk, bury the document you'll need halfway down in an existing stack and rummage for it when he/she arrives.

    4. Voice Mail

    Never answer your phone if you have voice mail. People don't call you just because they want to give you something for nothing - they call because they want you to do work for them. Screen all your calls through voice mail. If somebody leaves a voice mail message for you and it sounds like impending work, respond during lunch hour when you know they're not there - it looks like you're hardworking and conscientious even though you're being a devious weasel.

    5. Looking Impatient and Annoyed

    Always try to look impatient and annoyed to give your senior the impression that you are always busy.


    6. Leave the office late

    Always leave the office late, especially when the boss is still around. You could read magazines and storybooks that you always wanted to read but have no time until late before leaving. Make sure you walk past the boss's room on your way out. Send important emails at unearthly hours(e.g. 9:35pm, 7:05am, etc.) and during public holidays.

    7. Creative Sighing for Effect

    Sigh loudly when there are many people around, giving the impression that you are under extreme pressure.

    8. Stacking Strategy

    It is not enough to pile lots of documents on the table. Put lots of books on the floor etc. (thick computer manuals are the best).

    9. Build Vocabulary

    Read up on some computer magazines and pick out all the jargon and new products. Use the phrases freely when in conversation with collegues. Remember: They don't have to understand what you say, but you will sound impressive.

    10. Have two jackets

    If you work in a big open plan office, always leave a spare jacket draped over the back of your seat. This gives the impression that you are still on the premises. The second jacket should be worn while swanning around elsewhere.

    yaso

  2. #2

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    already-an-expert- v-
    Short Measures
    It is a wretched taste to be gratified with mediocrity when the excellent lies before us - Isaac Disraeli

  3. #3

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    Learn from the experts rather ...
    Well-timed silence has more eloquence than speech....

  4. #4
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    erm ....me doing same thing in my classbut little diffrent
    maiyaaaaa ..... good joke

  5. #5
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    ithu ellam sagajamappa

    I reply to my emails at night most of the time

    Shy
    I Geetham

  6. #6

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    Quote Originally Posted by 3(Sh)y View Post
    I reply to my emails at night most of the time

    3(Sh)y
    After he starts watching ESPN ....
    Well-timed silence has more eloquence than speech....

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    always try to park your vehicle very close to the office... this indicates you come to office very early ...

  8. #8

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    Quote Originally Posted by rajesh View Post
    always try to park your vehicle very close to the office... this indicates you come to office very early ...
    Good idea Rajesh......

    yaso

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    Quote Originally Posted by yasodha View Post
    Good idea Rajesh......
    some practical ideas ....

  10. #10
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    Good One....

    Sigh loudly when there are many people around, giving the impression that you are under extreme pressure.
    Ithuthan Romba Pannuven office-le
    __Thanks & Regards.
    -_-Keshav-
    Knowledge speaks, but wisdom listens

  11. #11

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    Quote Originally Posted by rajesh View Post
    always try to park your vehicle very close to the office... this indicates you come to office very early ...
    Reminds one of the episode from seinfield .....
    Well-timed silence has more eloquence than speech....

  12. #12
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    always try to park your vehicle very close to the office... this indicates you come to office very early
    But you dont get parking space do you
    I know I know I know I know I know I know I know

  13. #13
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    Quote Originally Posted by ns80 View Post
    But you dont get parking space do you
    yup...esp the ones closer to the office...so park your vehicle and go for a nap, but wake up before your boss comes to the office

  14. #14
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    i should remeber this points.................futuril a usefullaa irukkum :P

    nice one
    நான் பெரிது நீ பெரிது என்று வாழாமல் நாடு பெரிது என்று வாழ்வோம்!

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