Arranged or Love marriage - Which is more intimate?

**Shy** · 11-12-2003, 11:30 PM

Hey guys,

New topic... Arranged marriage or Love marriage.. Which is more intimate...more romantic.. more understanding..more enjoyable..more fun etc..etc.. ella heavenly things'nu vachukoongalaen...

whats ur opinion??

Shy

**Comenaughty** · 11-12-2003, 11:37 PM

both....
in arranged marriage, the couple love each other after marriage...and if the chemistry is good, the relationship wud be intimate....but it wud take some time....in love marriage, the relationship gets a bit intimate be4 marriage..... and it continues rite thru the marriage......

but in both type of marriages, there is some uncertainty....in arranged marriage, there r some chances that the relationship cannot kick off as expected...in love marriage, theres a chance of the couple splitting soon, if they realize that its jus lust (infatuation) and nothing more than that....

so my view is, intimacy in love and arranged marriage, jus has a time lag..... but its the same!!

naughty

**Comenaughty** · 11-12-2003, 11:37 PM

shy,
include the options none and both in ur poll

naughty

**vasan** · 11-12-2003, 11:38 PM

aiyaiyo... karpanai panni sollanuma? naanga yellam yenna pannuvadhu??

**Shy** · 11-12-2003, 11:39 PM

mm.. ethula nakal vaeraiyaa...

Shy

**vasan** · 11-12-2003, 11:41 PM

no.. no.. serious-ah thaan ketten. Indha poll second-hand info vaithu podalama, illai marriage yendra license vaangina punniyavan/punniyavadhikal mattum thaan-ah innu ketten. Thats why i have not even voted. Also, are we expected to comment on what we believe??

**anainar** · 11-12-2003, 11:46 PM

Renud vote yaaru? Onnu naan pottathu. Shy neengala innoru vote?

I say love marriage has more romance in it. You live through the moments I explained in another post like minnal vettum parvai, thullal, ora kan paarvai, those pleasures are unrivalled by any thing. Besides the uncertainity and the issues that crop with love marriage bond you closer. Well, any wrong choices are bound to fail whether it is love marriage or arranged marriage.

Cheers.

**Shy** · 11-12-2003, 11:50 PM

Originally Posted by vasan

no.. no.. serious-ah thaan ketten. Indha poll second-hand info vaithu podalama, illai marriage yendra license vaangina punniyavan/punniyavadhikal mattum thaan-ah innu ketten. Thats why i have not even voted. Also, are we expected to comment on what we believe??

sure vote according to ur beliefs..

Shy

**Comenaughty** · 11-12-2003, 11:50 PM

You live through the moments I explained in another post like minnal vettum parvai, thullal, ora kan paarvai, those pleasures are unrivalled by any thing

love gives u memories....accepted..... but wats that got to do with intimacy??? if u get good memories, it doesnt mean u get more intimate..... does it???

explain....
naughty

**sri_gan** · 11-12-2003, 11:56 PM

Love after marriage is the correct thing to have.

Its proven arranged marriage stays longer than the love marriage.

Love Marriage is more vulnerable to Ego centric relation ship.

Love Marriage may sometimes end up in lack of tolerance.

Innum neriya irruku.

**Shy** · 11-13-2003, 02:28 AM

Originally Posted by sri_gan

Love after marriage is the correct thing to have.

Its proven arranged marriage stays longer than the love marriage.

Love Marriage is more vulnerable to Ego centric relation ship.

Love Marriage may sometimes end up in lack of tolerance.

Innum neriya irruku.

innum naraiyaa erukatum.. first prove me which proof do u have that arranged marriage lasts longer than love?

Shy

**sabeshan** · 11-13-2003, 04:28 AM

It depends more on the persons rather than the type of marriage... even lovers after marriage could become bitter... so there is no hard and fast rule...

**anainar** · 11-13-2003, 05:17 AM

Its proven arranged marriage stays longer than the love marriage.
Love Marriage is more vulnerable to Ego centric relation ship.
Love Marriage may sometimes end up in lack of tolerance.
Innum neriya irruku.

Athu eppadi Sri, ippadi oru conclusion vanthuteenga? What is the proof that love marriages last shorter than arranged marriages? I can tell you
"n" number of arranged marriages heading towards breakdown.

I have discussed these things in one other topic earlier. Arranged marriages make things easier, as the partners come from similar backgrounds ( normally ) and the basic things are taken care. Love marriages dont follow that rule. But the success or failure depends completely on the individuals. Ego is going to be there in arranged marriages also. Lack of tolerance is again individual trait. How can arranged marriage make an individual more tolerant?

In fact solla pona, if you do love marriage, you will be more than willing to make it successful. Otherwise, you will be looked down upon by family members, "Naan appavay sonnenla, ketta thaanay?" That itself will be a motivation to make things happen between ego centric people, as not ego centric man/woman will be willing to admit that they made a mistake. Ithu eppadi irukku logic Sri?

Cheers

**ruby** · 11-13-2003, 12:24 PM

nan solluthumma, both can. It depends on individual. Some love den after ten years divorce saying can't get along. Some match make, den intimate after den saying I regret marrying u without knowing u.

u can be intimate wif ea other as long as u love ea other, willing to sacrifice & lead a normal decent life....

being intimate is in our hands...

ruby

**vedha79** · 11-13-2003, 03:08 PM

i think both marraiges can be heavenly. its according to individual. when both of them[husband n wife] try to accept facts understand each other etc the marraige life will be heavenly. there are love marraiges which are not successful n so is arranged marriages. a nice understading mind,love for each other, co-operation respect etc is needed in a married life to be successful n heavenly.

**Shy** · 11-13-2003, 03:18 PM

Arranged marraige'la kannai kaatee kaatula veta matheeree erukum.. U got to first understand ur partner, know their likes/dislikes... etc...

But love marraige apapdi ellai.. nalla paathu, paesee, palakeenavanga thaanae.. for them marraige is yet another step closer..

So arranged marriage will lack behind a bit...

Shy

**vedha79** · 11-13-2003, 03:37 PM

yeah shy it can lack in the beginning till the couple understand each other but when they understand each other arranged marraige too gets heavenly n deeper n happier. cos the are are love too.

cos of this lack u can;t say that arranged marriages lack behind ....it is still heavenly. thats what is ur question and this is my answer arranged marraiges are heavenly too !!!!!

**sri_gan** · 11-13-2003, 03:43 PM

Originally Posted by anainar

Its proven arranged marriage stays longer than the love marriage.
Love Marriage is more vulnerable to Ego centric relation ship.
Love Marriage may sometimes end up in lack of tolerance.
Innum neriya irruku.

Athu eppadi Sri, ippadi oru conclusion vanthuteenga? What is the proof that love marriages last shorter than arranged marriages? I can tell you
"n" number of arranged marriages heading towards breakdown.

I have discussed these things in one other topic earlier. Arranged marriages make things easier, as the partners come from similar backgrounds ( normally ) and the basic things are taken care. Love marriages dont follow that rule. But the success or failure depends completely on the individuals. Ego is going to be there in arranged marriages also. Lack of tolerance is again individual trait. How can arranged marriage make an individual more tolerant?

In fact solla pona, if you do love marriage, you will be more than willing to make it successful. Otherwise, you will be looked down upon by family members, "Naan appavay sonnenla, ketta thaanay?" That itself will be a motivation to make things happen between ego centric people, as not ego centric man/woman will be willing to admit that they made a mistake. Ithu eppadi irukku logic Sri?

Cheers

Arumuganainar,

Logic ellam rombe nalla than irruku, practical situations kku athu othu varanum le.

When two people are in love, there is a wide open chance of people getting a wrong opinion about each other in the matters they lack.

You cannot or never rule out that possibility.

Shy innoru edathule vasan love pathi explain pannirukanga, thats practical, you cannot deny that fact how attraction starts.

Arranged marriage le you are binded, before even knowing each other.

Surprise eppavume hidden treasure kku jasthi, humans love surprises.

Ada da topic intersting ahuthe....

**aburvaraagam** · 11-13-2003, 03:49 PM

Originally Posted by vedha79

i think both marraiges can be heavenly. its according to individual. when both of them[husband n wife] try to accept facts understand each other etc the marraige life will be heavenly. there are love marraiges which are not successful n so is arranged marriages. a nice understading mind,love for each other, co-operation respect etc is needed in a married life to be successful n heavenly.

I second u r thots. It is true endha marriage a irundha enna purushanum ponndatiyum kalyanthukku aparam eppadi irukaangalo adhai poruthu ongaludai vazhakai sandhoshama sogamanu theriyum.

**Shy** · 11-13-2003, 04:15 PM

Originally Posted by aburvaraagam

I second u r thots. It is true endha marriage a irundha enna purushanum ponndatiyum kalyanthukku aparam eppadi irukaangalo adhai poruthu ongaludai vazhakai sandhoshama sogamanu theriyum.

Enakku angae thaan questionae..

Parents pudichu marraige panni vachuduraanga'nu vachukuvoom..

When u start leading ur life.. each and every issue shes opposite.. how much thaan can u adjust solunga...

But Love marraige appadi ellai.. u very well know and only after that u wanted a commitment and got married. So enakku unkita ethu pudikalai..cha yaethuvaemae avarukkum enakkum sari ellai.. epapdi ellam u wont think...

I am not saying all love marraiges are successfull. but most of them are...

Not all arranged couples are like made for each other.. For being like that, they would have done lots and lots of adjustments and understandings. Also they are binded to make this marraige work.. so vaera valli ellaiyaennu kuuda they can start this life..

Shy