Arranged or Love marriage - Which is more intimate? - Page 3

View Poll Results: Arranged or Love marriage - Which is more intimate?

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  • Arranged

    39 56.52%
  • Love

    30 43.48%
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Thread: Arranged or Love marriage - Which is more intimate?

  1. #41
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    Shy,

    This Sri_gan and his theories are always amusing. I wonder who waiting for him. I only wish a real practical lady gets hooked onto him and give him real nice counter theories for all his Confuscious theories.

    How can infatuation be the root cause for love Sri? No sane person can agree to this. Ithula heart, bloob pumping vera. Heart romba athigama pump pannina heart blood vessel vedichu saaga vendiyathu thaan.

    There is a lot of biology also involved which happens without even you knowing when you are in close proximity with your mate. Ithu kooda infatuationaa? Antha minnal parvai, ora kan parvai ellam because of all those hormones. Ithellam anubavichu paartha thaan therium. Illaati yetho book padichuttu vanthu Confuscious theory thaan varum.

    Cheers.
    Every dog has its day. Today is my day.

  2. #42

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    Aranged marraige / or Love marraige doesnot matter at al...



    anyway LIFE is OVER once the marraige is OVER...loll
    anbudan,ayya
    ===========
    Anbudan,
    Ayya

  3. #43
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    anyway LIFE is OVER once the marraige is OVER
    You could always re-marry....
    Trolling Geetham since 2003...

  4. #44
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    Vaangayya Shidinesh. Re-marry? How complicated that process theriyuma? And how much time consuming theriyuma? Ithellam vida, the both the guy and the girl has to go through hell before they can get rid of each other. Law is on one side, society is on otherside, family is on the top, they all will be observing and making life real tough. So it is always better to be cautious and extremely careful before tying the knot.

    Ennith thuniga karumam, thunintha bin
    ennuvam enbathu izhukku.

    Sonnathu oru 2000 varushathukku munnadi iruntha oru thaatha.

    Cheers
    Every dog has its day. Today is my day.

  5. #45
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    How complicated that process theriyuma? And how much time consuming theriyuma? Ithellam vida, the both the guy and the girl has to go through hell before they can get rid of each other
    Why is that? It is quite easy to do especially if they have no children, and it is by mutual consent. And after they have got a divorce they can easily re-marry.

    Anyway, I was only talking about re-marrying, not about divorce. If a guy's partner dies, what is wrong with him/her re-marrying?
    Trolling Geetham since 2003...

  6. #46
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    Well, even if it is by mutual consent, things are not that easy. First and foremost, you need to ratinolise the decision and there has to be a solid reason. And it is a time consuming process anywhere from 1-2 years of time. A guy getting married at 28 years, after 2 years feels he made the wrong choice, he looses 3-4 years of his prime time in this process. Same holds good for the girl also. Then alimony, societal dis approval all these put a lot of pressure on the the parties.

    Death is a different story. There it is straight forward. But still your choices become limited once you marry. So, it is better to be careful than regretting later.

    Cheers
    Every dog has its day. Today is my day.

  7. #47
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    Better not to marry at all.....then you will not be bound by anything, and can enjoy life.......enna naan solrathu nainar....
    Trolling Geetham since 2003...

  8. #48
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    Aaha! Ithu noothula oru vaarthai Dinesh. If only you can follow that :Wink:

    Aana mudiyathay? Otherwise the mother earth would have been a barren land by now, occupied only by animals. Real animals, because human species will be extinct very soon.

    It is like a tight rope walk. Walk straight, with a balancing stick and you can do that. Vizhutha avlo thaan. Koncham kashtam ezuthirukkirathu.

    Cheers
    Every dog has its day. Today is my day.

  9. #49

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    halo GENTLEMAN...
    LIFE IS OVER when MARRIGE is FINISHED...sorry oru
    nayathukaga marraige is over nu sonnen...athu thappana arathatha koduthudichi...
    mannichidungooooooooooo....... .......

    so RE MARRIAGE MEANS RE-LIFE FINISHED

    why do u wanna SUCIDE 2 times
    ===========
    Anbudan,
    Ayya

  10. #50

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    shy,

    Good topic u have here...arranged versus love marraige...which is more intimate?

    hmmm...In Indian culture...marraige is a bond between two families...so its not just the indivual who is involved...
    Love marraige u get to know the person nu solreengo...If ur talking about living with the person who are going to marry for a year & then decide he/she is not to ur expectation then wat?...is it that easy to walk away from that relationship...just coz they are not married?... a person can put his/her best perfomance when u just meet for few hrs...
    adhuve arranged le...its the family who is getting involved...if 2 families can connect...thats the best thing which can happen...ur parents wudnt give u away to someone who wont take care of U...I agree in olden days they didnt have the resource...parents was anxiuos to get their dtrs married...but thats not the case now...adhu matum illai...the whole family is welcoming U...not just him/her...u can seek their guidance in getting to know ur husband's/wife's likes & dislikes....I wud vote for arranged marriage anyday

  11. #51
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    Butterfly,

    The concept of joint familes are a thing of past. Ippo paarhteenganna, the families get together only for occasios like deepavali or marriage. In that case the families welcome you anyway whether it is love marriage or arranged marriage. So, that is just one part of the story. And even if it is arranged marriage as soon as the marriage is over, the bride and groom start their own life in their place.

    So, arranged marriage or love marriage, if the parties are compatible, they get along well. Illaati problem thaan. Love marriage has its own sparks which is incomparable. So, my vote is for love marriage.

    Cheers.
    Every dog has its day. Today is my day.

  12. #52
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    Ayya is messing up...So i'm moving my post to the bottom most.

  13. #53

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    Sri-gan,
    aha... how are you so sure,
    that ONE will never get your point...
    dont TALK like you are supirior and Others are idiots...
    but as u say , if you are a WATCHER of yourself then u cant think like that...
    becoz if at all you particiapte in SHARING then JUST SHARE it...

    LIKE you, everyone has their points to STAND in...so its SHARING...if u like yours then rest is automatic...means if i lvoe something i will go for it...
    if i like something what u say i automatically tend to practice it...
    same goes to NOT LIKING...when i dont like somthing then automaticlly i throaway...its automatic...
    LIKE you say, YOU cant claim for DONT REPLY, NOT GETTING MY POINT something like that...
    let them reply if they want to..
    try to explain YOUR point if u think they dont get...
    ok?
    ===========
    Anbudan,
    Ayya

  14. #54

    Default Re: Arranged or Love marriage - Which is more intimate?

    Quote Originally Posted by jshyamn
    Hey guys,

    New topic... Arranged marriage or Love marriage.. Which is more intimate...more romantic.. more understanding..more enjoyable..more fun etc..etc.. ella heavenly things'nu vachukoongalaen...

    whats ur opinion??

    Shy
    HEY SHY...why cant u add EITHER also an option
    also the NEITHER (no marriage)
    ===========
    Anbudan,
    Ayya

  15. #55
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    Arumuganainar,

    Rombe adathinga, Geetham was facing some downtime, ennala connect panna mudiyala.

    Amusing theories than 'cause I talk reality, neriya perukku athu romba neram kalichu therium + Already sonnen, I'm not doing any narathar works, thirumba athai illutha, panni kattuven.

    Lets go to the point:

    Come on, Inniki you are married the women you loved and for that one simple reason (ungalukku athu periya visheyam nu nenga perumai patta, you love the heroism, ofcourse blood pump pannirukanum) remaining others cannot do that enbathu illai, unda illaya?

    Present Situation Eduthukalam:

    1. Seri love love nu uyire vidurenga, seri unga lover unga kitta pesama irruntha eppadi irruku iyya arumuganainar? Rombe normala irruka vendiyathane.. enn iyaa mudiyalai?

    If you can be without hurt naa you are not loving that person. Arumuganainar vettu amma has to note this point rombe important.


    2. If you feel hurt nu vachipoom unga manasul idam koduthurunkeenga, appo kandippa ratham naan sonna pressure kku poi irrukum, irrukanum. appo than you got the spark, illai nu sonna, athu lovea irrunthurukka mudiyathu...



    Example:

    I have 2 pictures and your wife is in a different room and watching your expression without you knowing it:

    1. I Show Aishwarya rai picture first, you like it.

    2. Immediately, I Close the first picture and I show your wife's picture, you should love more your wife, so ore santhosama irrukum, irrukanum, illai na, you explain your wife why you didn't like to see that picture.


    3. Seri rendu peru love pannuranga, vettula othukalai, escape aranga...marriage pannikiranga... appo kuda ratham pump agalai na athai ennanu sollurathu nu theriyalai...

    4. Love pannuravan mutrum thurantha(feelings controla panna therincha) munivan illai ok va... engitta intha disco dance adathinga, again solluren. Appadi mutrum thuranthavar mari inga sollathinga, nenga samsari, naan innum bachelor enna direction venna edupen enna enn pidi enn kaile.

    5. Shy ithukku support vera, Asthiram ellam pathu vidunga, ennakku Bhramaastram kuda vida therium, kavalai padama viduven.


    Future:

    Chuma or simple guess, Athai thavira, nalliki ungalukku oru pen kuzhanthai irrunthu, US culture le valarnthu, Athu dating pohuthu nu vachipom, Nenga nalla vazhi annupi vaipinga, 'cause i can get that from your speech.

    Seri, Iyanaar, Ithelam pesurathukku nalla irrukum + young age le blood thudikka thudikka irrukum pothu ithelam periya heroism mari thoonum.

    Adi manasula onnu irrukum, unga pillainga nu varumbothu, naan sollurathu avalavum haunt pannum.

    Ippo inga its simple for your to put a neat word that, i make some comedies, In reality papom, evalo loving parents avanga pasanga ponnungalukku freedom koduthu love pannunga pillaigala appidinu vazhi annupi vaikiranga nu...

    I'm challenging on this.

    Ivalo thooram love athu ithu nu pesura western countries le, oru rich family le dating sense parunga eppadi irruku nu... then you come to know what I'm talking about.

    Chumma, eduthom kavuthom nu pesurathukku nalla irrku... In fact, nama pillaikku oruthan/oruthi appu adikum pothu therium, naan sollura visheyam.

    Personal:

    Appuram rombe mukiyam if any one replies saying confucious theories, ithelam vitturunga, 'cause it is my opinion and I stand by it. If you start doing it, you will never get the point, I take the fact you guys ignore it for a silly reason I posted it.

    The only difference I make in my post is, I stand outside certain factors and reply as if I was a watcher and if you watch my posts most of the fun part will be on the post and not at the person.

    Thats the reason we open a topics for discussion and I remind you, i'm not the topic of discussion, no one asks you if i'm confucious or not or I write confucious theories or not.

    So Respect that thought. Ithukku melayum puriyalai na enna sollurathu nu theriyalai, I'm sure I was pretty clear.

    Have a healthy discussions for a while where the confucious disappears for a while, will get back and see how much it goes,especially this topic.

  16. #56
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    Sri,

    I dont want to get personal in any of my discussions. But it has come to that in this post. I dont support love marriage just because I did it. And it is not that I did some heroic act. Marriage is a natural thing and I took one course. I am not that naive to recommend this to every one. For that matter, I dont know how good or bad arranged marriage could be. But I have seen many arranged marriages and some of them have failed for "n" number of reasons. The point is, both lead to the same destination. I just told, as an individual what you might miss in arranged marriage. Ultimately it is your choice.

    Intha Aishwarya Rai photo and my wife's photo ellam hypothetical situations. Honestly, my heart does not pump blood at all by seeing either of their photos. When I miss my wife which happens often, I look at our album which I made only for this purpose. That is a kind of consolation in unavoidable circumstances. Aishwarya Rai? I dont care whether I see her photo or not. Unless Vasan posts a message or some news about her, I dont even see her photos. That is the point.

    For my daughter or son, I am telling now. What ever values I think I have, are not going to change. Whether I am in India or the US or Lativia, they will have freedom to decide what they want to do. As a father, all I can do is provide them guidance. Ultimately they are responsible for their lives. I will tell them, warn them and give them enough education to make these choices intelligently. And I will be there to support them, if at all their decisions go wrong for what ever reason. This is not to tell them to go and fall in love desperately. If it happens on the way, there is no point in dismissing it or trying to stand in the way. They are the best judges of what suits them.

    These are not western values. These are values I believed my parents had. And they never crossed Tamilnadu. They never came in way of any of my decisions. Whether it is career, or marriage. Fortunately I did not make any wrong choices and am lucky to have sustained quiet a lot of onslaught and am still around kicking. It is all because of the values imbibed on me by my parents. So will be my children.

    These are not only my views, but my values also. I will stand by these values, what ever happens. Freedom to decide ones own life is non negotiable whether it is with parents or any one. We can seek guidance and seek opinions, but end of the day, you decide your life.

    Cheers.
    Every dog has its day. Today is my day.

  17. #57

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    Oh.. wow.. Anainar!

    I know its not easy to be so open in your sharing, but thanks a bunch for doing it all the same. Some times, when I say stuff, people do comment saying, 'hey lets wait and see, what you gonna do'... So, I am naturally glad you shared.

    I do stand by my values (or the lack of them!!) too. Its not a theory or some such to argue. Its what I do, and believe and there is no reason to think that when it comes to me, I will opt out. Or when its my kids, for that matter.

    Note though Sri - it does not mean what you believe in so passionately (if I may say so) is not OK. By all means do what ever your heart dictates. Rare is the peace that comes from doing what you believe in. Naturally, its not just for Sri - but for any one else as well. (I wrote Sri - because he has been a friend longer than most others, and hopefully he would not mind. Not that I was being offensive here, but still...)

    Sometimes when people say, you think too modern, I say to my self, oh great, so be it. Go and sing along: Pudhiyathor ulagam seivom.. !!

    Vasan

    ps: Aish padam yaarunga thedi pudikkara... often what happens is you listen to a song and for some odd reason, it sparks some spirit, and you want to express it.. if I was a poet, I would have written a song (alas, I am no Thiru or Sri !) so I have to connect it with visuals. Thats all.. Or you read some news and catch a photo along with it... some visuals are more beautiful than most other 'normal' pics, and thenyou want to share it with others too.. Lets just say its merely an expression of some form of beautiful feeling you have - thats why it could be Trisha, Aish, Bhoomika or any other gazillion young pretty things.. I know you know this, but still thought I would clarify for those who might not think so kindly..

    I am in a very reflective mood today, huh hah.. whats goin' on with me..!!
    Short Measures
    It is a wretched taste to be gratified with mediocrity when the excellent lies before us - Isaac Disraeli

  18. #58

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    Appane muruga

    Unga alavukku naan arivaali illai muruga! so i am just watching you all muruga! nalla participate panreenga muruga.

    forum is so good muruga!

  19. #59
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    Quote Originally Posted by anainar
    For my daughter or son, I am telling now. What ever values I think I have, are not going to change. Whether I am in India or the US or Lativia, they will have freedom to decide what they want to do. As a father, all I can do is provide them guidance. Ultimately they are responsible for their lives. I will tell them, warn them and give them enough education to make these choices intelligently. And I will be there to support them, if at all their decisions go wrong for what ever reason. This is not to tell them to go and fall in love desperately. If it happens on the way, there is no point in dismissing it or trying to stand in the way. They are the best judges of what suits them.

    These are not western values. These are values I believed my parents had. And they never crossed Tamilnadu. They never came in way of any of my decisions. Whether it is career, or marriage. Fortunately I did not make any wrong choices and am lucky to have sustained quiet a lot of onslaught and am still around kicking. It is all because of the values imbibed on me by my parents. So will be my children.

    These are not only my views, but my values also. I will stand by these values, what ever happens. Freedom to decide ones own life is non negotiable whether it is with parents or any one. We can seek guidance and seek opinions, but end of the day, you decide your life.
    First regarding the personal post, It is not about I got offended or something, its about what we prefer to respond. Every one says it is my freedom etc... I just did it, in my way, healthy or not its you guys to decide. Forget about that.

    Straight to the point:

    Honestly Speaking, Love between definetely requires lots and lots of patience and tolerance.

    One non hyptothytical situation would be break up. In a country like India, I'm sure atleast 90% of lovers especially girls and most boys don't know how to handle that situation, Most of them cry. Even if the family moved to western countiries there are families grow up their child in the name of Indian values and forget to teach how to handle a bad situation or a not worthy situation. In pure west it is not the case.


    It is not necessary that, since you proposed a love to someone you have to stick with them inspite of your freedom and happiness, this will be in heart with most of the freedom speaking Indpendent speaking guys.


    So may people talk about love and no one talks about handling a situation which is worst and sadly the truth after i reading some message is trying to convince rather, dissecting a whole in a full picture.


    In the arranged marriage point of view, above three are there too, but still the law supports to get divorced, yest you don't have a chance to lose your mom and dad which are by your side. In case of Love in present situation in a Indian community no matter where you are you potentially vunerabale.

    I already menitoned I could see Iyaanaar would support their kids for dating etc., yet I didn't see any form of strong suggestions about how to handle break ups and I see one opinion about choosing intelligently. It requires a broader explananation.

    Quote Originally Posted by anainar
    These are not only my views, but my values also. I will stand by these values, what ever happens. Freedom to decide ones own life is non negotiable whether it is with parents or any one. We can seek guidance and seek opinions, but end of the day, you decide your life.
    These are very Indpendent thoughts. At the end of the day or hr or minutes it is who you decide your life very true,

    This doesn't mean you should not give respect to you parents.

    Ofcourse, sometimes your heart will say stick with it and you make a move and worry in the later picture, we should have done better.

    Most these terms which we spoke out in favour of Love between two may be interesting to read and ofcourse Arumuganainar you are older enough to say that, there was nothing going on with your heart when your propsed your love nu.

    Appo ithai kekuren, Kathilicha muturum thurantha munivar airalama? Mudiyathu nu sollunga, then I will tell, thats the special feeling you had for love. Oru special feeling nama manasula irrukum pothu heartkku blood strem pump ahurathu romba normalana visheyam.

    The above question is not a edakku mudakku kelvi, In a stronger outcome thats what I grasp out of Arumuganainar's post. Please explain.

    Vasan, Shidinesh, ungalukku oru question, Is there any studies about Love between two couples, apart from love making. Any scientific theories in west.

    Please note one more important point, the Art of love making is from India the country which is lasting long with arrranged marriage. This is a fact.

  20. #60
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    Quote Originally Posted by anainar
    Sri,

    I dont want to get personal in any of my discussions. But it has come to that in this post. I dont support love marriage just because I did it. And it is not that I did some heroic act. Marriage is a natural thing and I took one course. I am not that naive to recommend this to every one. For that matter, I dont know how good or bad arranged marriage could be. But I have seen many arranged marriages and some of them have failed for "n" number of reasons. The point is, both lead to the same destination. I just told, as an individual what you might miss in arranged marriage. Ultimately it is your choice.

    Intha Aishwarya Rai photo and my wife's photo ellam hypothetical situations. Honestly, my heart does not pump blood at all by seeing either of their photos. When I miss my wife which happens often, I look at our album which I made only for this purpose. That is a kind of consolation in unavoidable circumstances. Aishwarya Rai? I dont care whether I see her photo or not. Unless Vasan posts a message or some news about her, I dont even see her photos. That is the point.

    For my daughter or son, I am telling now. What ever values I think I have, are not going to change. Whether I am in India or the US or Lativia, they will have freedom to decide what they want to do. As a father, all I can do is provide them guidance. Ultimately they are responsible for their lives. I will tell them, warn them and give them enough education to make these choices intelligently. And I will be there to support them, if at all their decisions go wrong for what ever reason. This is not to tell them to go and fall in love desperately. If it happens on the way, there is no point in dismissing it or trying to stand in the way. They are the best judges of what suits them.

    These are not western values. These are values I believed my parents had. And they never crossed Tamilnadu. They never came in way of any of my decisions. Whether it is career, or marriage. Fortunately I did not make any wrong choices and am lucky to have sustained quiet a lot of onslaught and am still around kicking. It is all because of the values imbibed on me by my parents. So will be my children.

    These are not only my views, but my values also. I will stand by these values, what ever happens. Freedom to decide ones own life is non negotiable whether it is with parents or any one. We can seek guidance and seek opinions, but end of the day, you decide your life.

    Cheers.
    Hats off anainar , I really appreciate ur thoughts..

    Udanae solanum'nu thaan entha post... I am writing my responses to all ur guys posts..

    Shy

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