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Thread: Secrets of HAPPY MARRIED LIFE

  1. #41
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    Pattampoochi!! My secrets of marriage success is different entity. And the problems in marrige life is different entity. Please don't mix both.

    Cheers.

  2. #42
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    Ammni.. Oru ambalayoda kastam ambalaiku thaan theriyum.. The very first and Important thing in marriage is the above need only. In olden days there is no yahoo messenger , there is no internet , there is no online dating , no chance of girl friends. So old guys introduced one philoooo and fundaaa called "Marriage".
    No way.. when he can have as many stands as he likes in his life, why is that he had to put with a single person if u think that for every guy the reason for marriage is only that. Marriage is not just physical needs. One of the marriage idea is that children need mothers and fathers, that societies need babies, and that adults have an obligation to shape their sexual behavior so as to give their children stable families in which to grow up.

    Neenga than sollureenga... Marriage punithamanathu , veetuku varaporava match box eduthu oothu pathi koluthi veetuku velakethanum and etc etc.. Will you select a third rated person for doing all those things? Never.
    [quote]

    Athu ellai arumugam, My question was, when u are expecting someone to be of some standards in your, first we have to be like that.

    The girl whose going to "match box eduthu oothu pathi koluthi veetuku velakethanum" should be of first standard appadinu you are expecting.
    Wont a girl whose going to marry you expect u to be "Raman" and never ever thought about any other girls till u met her(Even though many delhi girls might right to lure you )??

    this is my concern.. Athaan solraen.. neenga appadi epapddi site adichu poonunga kuuda kadalai ellam pootu enjoy panni irupeenga.. But if shes staright forward like that and tells u, "aii..arumugam, naanum apapdi thaan, enakkum so many boy friends u know.. we used to go to restuarants, hotel, movie and have fun"

    Avalavu thaan "transform thaan vaedikum" ungalukku.. (padathula shock news kaetu heart vaedikkum ellai..athu thaan...)

    Here is my point. Suppose my " 7.5 years old sani" came in the middle of my marrige. Then I have to see the hell through my life? Is it?. Sorry. I don't want this risk. Naan intha aataiku varaley. I don't want marraige.
    Positive thinking'nu onnu irukae.. athu ungalukku kedaiyavae kedaiyaatha...

    So nalla love panni neenga life poitu irunthu.. sudden'a 7.5 sani vanthathuna.. u will blame her for everything.. appadiyae ava thaan yaethoo thappu pannina and hurt u'nu vachukuvoom, why unga wife thaanae.. annucareechu pooga mateengala.... "thaiyathaka'nu" dance thaanae????

    My father don't have girl friends or he don't know how to get girl friends. So he forced his father to get him a forced "girl friend". Further after marriage also he could not get any more girl friends. So they were attached till their old age. I am having good brain and I can get lot of girl friend. Then where is this relationship need for me? No need.
    (sorry to be personal here.. but discussion'ku solraen.. thappa nenaichukaatheenga enna )Unga appaku girl friends vanthu velunthaalum, he thought abt the future of his kids(athaan..neenga...)nalla disciplined life erukanum.. cha evanga appa'vaa aiyo orae amarkalaam avar.. he had lots of girlfriends and had fun.. appadi'nu namba paiyan'a yaar solira kuudathu.. nalla manners'ooda life erukanum avanukku// he sticked with ur mother.. athooda most important.. he loved ur mom very much.. he doesnt need any other girlfriends...

    Shy

  3. #43
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    Ok everyone...

    I found this somewhere...

    2 days time...

    I am going to give u 20 points in here.. Whoever picks up the correct 12 will lead a happy, successful marriage life.. although having all the 20 is a great PLUS, there should be a minimum 12 need for a successful marriage.



    (1)Determined but also relaxed maturity in both of them

    (2)2 independent, seperate lives binded, linked by love

    (3)Have Courtesy, respect, self-esteem for each other

    (4)Practical sharing in money matters

    (5)Have as many children as the woman partner wants

    (6)Respect each other’s privacy

    (7)There should be no fear and anxiety at all.

    (8)Should be able to relax together

    (9)There should be a Well-balanced giving and taking between each other

    (10)Truly listening to each other

    (11)Make love whenever either of you wants it

    (12) Determination not to nag.

    (13)Sense of humor in both of them.

    (14)There should exist a true working partnership on all levels

    (15)Sense of being needed and belonging

    (16)Complete trust in each other

    (17)Lots of love of every kind and nature

    (18)There should be plenty of common interests

    (19)Equal sharing of decisions and decision making

    (20) should be mutual friends

    Unlock the Mystery and post me...

    The 12 points that your going to chose will let u judge urself if the marriage u are having or planning to have will be successful one. Because the 12 points that i will be pointing out later will never fail to work.

    Note: Please answer paathu yaarum enn kita sandai poodaatheenga, this is just a fun part. Obviously everyone I know here will sure lead a happy married life for sure..




    Shy

  4. #44
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    Shy Madam Saheb!!
    Namaskaar!!

    Neenga family councleraa? Ippadi pottu thaakareengaa..

    Before my anser.. One big response from shidinesh is pending. After hearing his response then I will write here.

    Here on wards I will be very carefull with you. You are knowing lot of details about life.
    Enga paati kooda enakku ivlo details sonnathu kedayatthu...

    Cheers.


  5. #45
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    Before my anser.. One big response from shidinesh is pending. After hearing his response then I will write here.
    What do you want?
    Trolling Geetham since 2003...

  6. #46
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    Nalla seereechaen padichu... ...romba nalla soli erukeengannu nenaichutu padichutae vantha.. last line'ls nice'a ennai oota pakureengala... .. ennai yaematha mudiyaathu...naan HiTech paatti'yaa..

    ada paavi.. patti kuuda sonathu ellaina.. naan paatti'ooda Old'a



    That computer = arumugam

    Shy

  7. #47
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    Read SHY response yaar.

    Don't you have usual "critical questions" ?
    Just ask..

    Don't fear about Shy. Ananga thngamanavanga.. Kovitchu Maatangaa..

    Cheers

  8. #48
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    Quote Originally Posted by arumugam57
    Read SHY response yaar.

    Don't you have usual "critical questions" ?
    Just ask..

    Don't fear about Shy. Ananga thngamanavanga.. Kovitchu Maatangaa..

    Cheers
    Dinesh good guy, kandeepa nalla nalla questions, praising marriage thaan kaepaar...avar kaekarathu irukatum.. ennai yaen paati'ooda Old'nu soneenga.. I want answer for that.. poori katai'ooda wait pannitu irukaen.. sollunga

    Shy

  9. #49
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    Naan paati nu sonnathu.. Neenga paatiya vida athigamaga vazkayap pathi therinju vatchurukeengannu sonnen. Usually .வாழ்ந்து mudinjavangalukku thaan vazkayoda arumai theriyumnu sollu vaanga. So paatis will come forward and will advise perans in life decision making. You too doing the same in fact much more than thet..

    Ungalai poyi thappa solluvanaa? No no.. Appale neenga warning kodupeengannu enakku theriyatha... ( Poori kattiyil irutnthu oru vaziya thappitchachu )

    Cheers.

  10. #50
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    mm.. ..poori katai vachutaen keela..

    Sari yeppo paaru first hand thaan appadinnu jump pannitu irupeenga ellai.. Oru nalla first hand girl eppadi ungakuuda life spend pana pooranu pakalaam.. reply me ur "12". Athai vachu neenga eppadi enna'nu point by point soliduvaen naan

    Dinesh neenga yaethoo kaeka pooreenga poola iruku.. please marriage is a hell.. appadi ellam solatheenga.. general'la pleasant kaelunga ...

    Shy

  11. #51
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    I have made all the points I needed to make, and still I have not had any satisfactory replies.
    The point of loneliness was very thouroughly made. But, I'm used to being alone. I've been alone for most of my life to date, and I like being that way. So, I see no reason why somebody else has got to come into the equation.
    The average cost of bringing up a child in the UK, is now more than the average cost of a house, around £148,000. So, if I save the money I earn, without spending it on a random girl and then on more random little people, I will have enough money to look after myself, when I get old (in a nice private institution, butterfly note this ). So that's the 'taking care of' point down.
    Apart from these, I don't see any major points about marriage. Please don't start again about the bliss of married life and please do not bring god into the question (people who want to know my views about god, please look at the topic called 'god is there/not there' or something like that in the General forum). In reality marriages are not what people try to paint them they are. The chances are very high that you'll end up with an incompatible person, even in love marriages. So, the cons outweigh the pros.
    Trolling Geetham since 2003...

  12. #52

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    when I get old (in a nice private institution, butterfly note this ). So that's the 'taking care of' point down.
    Shidinesh,
    Point noted...but did u check with the socialworker about wat i asked u???....check about the different tests done to prove u can handle ur own finances in ur old age...& laws supporting it...I am not very sure about uk laws...but I know u wud do ur homework better

  13. #53
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    Dinesh,

    What are you scared of? Children? Believe me, I saw my 6 month old son, and there is no equal to his smile when he sees me. I have worked so long and so hard, transacted loads of money in house, automobile, entertainment and what not, but never felt so happy in my life so far. I keep talking all kind of nonsense to him and he keeps smiling, making noises talking to me. I was in eternal bliss and my wife was puzzled how come such a stoic guy like me behaving like a kid. You can never ever equate that feeling to money. I know this is transient and dont know what is in store for me and him. I might end up spending all my earnings on him, but that is ok. I am all geared up for that. You may have truck loads of money on retirement, but these are moments that you will miss and these are priceless.

    And dont I have a retirement plan? I do have one too on which I continue working. Fortunately, I work in the US and intend to shift my base to India and life that way is little easy to plan moneywise. Even otherwise, that is ok. Things will workout fine.

    So, go look for a girl and get a son/daughter. You will know what I am talking about.

    Cheers.
    Every dog has its day. Today is my day.

  14. #54

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    Quote Originally Posted by Minik
    Quote Originally Posted by shidinesh
    Let's first discuss the evils of married life.....
    Shidinesh why do u always say married life is not good and that every man should be on his own. Can u explain your statements with e.g. I feel really bad when u are against married life, coz I find married life is the best. Lets discuss about good points about married life instead of evil so u will feel much better after we all discuss. There is nothing wrong in married life dinesh, infact when u r alone u will need somebody. I want u too think positive about married life. okava.
    minik kavalai padatheenga, ippadi pesaravanga thaan mudhalla maatuvanga
    enna aaaaaarumugam, anainaar, vennai, shy, butterfly naan solrathu right thaane
    I always wondered why babies spend so much time sucking their thumbs. Then I tasted baby food.
    -- Robert Orben

  15. #55

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    [quote="arumugam57"]
    So I think now a days marriage is not necessary thing in life.
    konjam vayasu innum pogattum aaaaaarumugam
    TODAY I, SANDHIYA, WILL TELL YOU MAKE A NOTE OF WHAT YOU HAVE TOLD.
    ONE DAY OR LATER YOU WILL FIND THAT YOUR STATEMENT HAS JUST GONE UPSIDE DOWN AND YOU WILL REALIZE THAT U FEEL A NECESSITY FOR MARRIAGE.

    nadukkutha illayannu paarunga
    that day say in your mind god i give up - that i said that one day in geetham forum - but now i really give it up!!!
    I always wondered why babies spend so much time sucking their thumbs. Then I tasted baby food.
    -- Robert Orben

  16. #56
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    There are 2 ways to think about marriage. some might see marriage as a necessity to carry on life, while others marry to fulfill necessities in life. But patheengana.. both ways, marriage becomes fulfillment, but of different needs. antha need'ae enakku thaevaiyannu some might think..

    Ok first marriage'a different person different vithama think panalaam..., for a religious people like me, marriage is a religious sacrament which is the fulfillment of sacred and religious duties.
    For a practical person, it should be the most logical means of companionship and not think as a waste in life to be with the single person forever.
    For a society conscious person, marriage is a legal and social acceptance of wedded bliss.
    For the profit-minded, marriage is a means of deriving wealth and saving it too.

    2 ways's a person can think about marriage... lets leave out the third one, why marriage okvaa for now..

    One way of thinking is need of marriage...

    Enga, a person marries for the sake of a life-partner...for companionship and love.
    This marriage seeks and gives.
    It is the result of the urge to belong and co-habituate.
    To love and be loved, to respect and be respected.
    There is a need to share and care.
    This also fulfills the social needs to have a family.

    This relationship has significance and is unbreakable.
    It is not a mere habit or convenience, nor is it based on sexual need.
    This will be a relationship based on compatibility, trust and faith in each other.
    This leads to mutual love.
    Love is not something abstract to be thought about; love is to be found.

    When you know that love which is unconditional, which is not the product of the mind, then reality comes into being, and that state is utter bliss, leaving you with nothing more to need.
    When you are looking for a companion for life, who shall be by your side in times good and bad, who shall share your feelings, happy or sad, who shall hold your hand, no matter what,
    then you are in need of marriage.


    Other is marriage of need
    Marriage of need is made by circumstances.
    When marriage could seem to be the answer to all your needs, both material and otherwise, it becomes the marriage of need.
    This could be a marriage which is entered in to make profit or for gain. It could be for wealth, sexual gratification or a just another business deal. It could be an easy way out.

    This marriage could mean fulfilling wants and needs of various kinds and does not necessarily involve love or compatibility. The need in this marriage could be just of a beautiful spouse or a visa and ticket to a foreign country. Such a marriage lacks the essence of matrimony or companionship.
    When one is young, the sexual urge is strong and in order to set a limit to it, the person gets into the institution of marriage.
    You ‘tie’ yourself to a man or to a woman for the rest of your life and merely get on with that person.
    You marry a stranger, knowing not a thing about the person, and yet you live with them for the rest of your life.
    You establish a relationship, the significance of which you do not know and you have neither discovered nor understood.

    Do you call it a marriage where both the partners are isolated, each moving on with his or her own interests, ambitions and needs, each seeking from the other gratification, economic or psychological security? Such a relationship is not a relationship: it is a mutually self-enclosing process of psychological, biological and economic necessity, and the obvious result is conflict, misery, nagging, possessive fear, jealousy, and so on.

    Even if it fulfils a few of your needs in the beginning, such a relationship is not productive of anything in the long run.

    Marriage of need becomes a bargain or a contract.
    It violates the holiness of marriage.
    It destroys the self-less love that slowly builds up in a marriage for love and companionship.
    It makes us lonely in company.

    marriage of need remains and continues to be a relationship, which goes on increasing your necessities.
    It shall make you needy of love, companionship and togetherness.
    “A marriage for need shall always result into a marriage in need”.

    Whatever the goal, the means of marriage remain the same.
    It is still widely practiced. Love it or hate it, you can just not ignore it.
    All you have to do is decide your way.

    NEED FOR MARRIAGE
    OR
    MARRIAGE FOR NEED

    Shy

  17. #57
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    Dinesh...

    U said that somewhere in a post that, naan single life super'a enjoy apnnitu irukaen.. what if I get caught with a person of entire thinking and stuff... I agree.. but u will know them and only then commit right.. u wont just "kanai katti" kaatula vita mathiri marry someone. Its true that, one man’s fascination could be another’s irritation. Two people seeing from the same window could see different things or see the same things differently. Not many people share similar point of views or attitudes.

    Neenga solalaam that

    (1) I can have as many GF's as I like
    (2) Private cozy institution for my oldage
    (3) No commitments and care free in life
    (4) No fincance problem, society/family problem
    etc etc

    But think over the points I said..
    Dont u want someone to "LOVE" you than to just spend sometime and be a timepass with u.
    Dont u want someone just for u, with unconditional love
    Dont u want someone to be there for good or bad, shoulder to shoulder
    Dont u want someone you can lean when in disstress.

    Obviously u can talk to ur friends about ur problems.. but a mans lif is not just money and food. Its a mixture of emotions, love, sentiments, caring and affection. And for that u need someone for u. Enna thaan oldage'a cozy'a irunthaalum.. care and affection ooda OUR GUY'nu paathuka u need someone.. just for ur money the nurse and staff will take care of you.. But do u think u will get the same affectiona and care that u need most at that time?NO, Never.

    Also a family.. ennoda appa, appadinu solikavum, my son, my daughter... appadi solavum u need a family. To bring them in this world.. mould them as good peopel.. see them come up in life and shine. you will be proudest person ever at that time. No billion dollar money, luxury house erunthaalum.. u will not and never get that happeiness.. Imagine.. having all this luxury and big house.. but just u and staff who work for u.. and friends u are there.. will u feel complete in ur life? will u feel satisfied? will that oldage mind and heart feel happy that u have billion dollars with u, but enna. ennoda blood and flesh;nu solikathaan aalu ellai.. its ok'nu erukumma?

    Shy

  18. #58
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    minik kavalai padatheenga, ippadi pesaravanga thaan mudhalla maatuvanga
    enna aaaaaarumugam, anainaar, vennai, shy, butterfly naan solrathu right thaane
    Yes sandhiya... entha mathiri guys naamba evalavu paer paathu erukoom.

    First'a they get settled..

    Namba pavama kaeta.. "oh athuvaa.. ennanae theriyala.. Shy.. patha udanae oru bulb yaerinchathu.. eva thaanu pachi solichu. so decide pannitaen"-- appadinnu soluvaanga..

    Shy

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    minik kavalai padatheenga, ippadi pesaravanga thaan mudhalla maatuvanga
    enna aaaaaarumugam, anainaar, vennai, shy, butterfly naan solrathu right thaane
    Yes sandhiya... entha mathiri guys naamba evalavu paer paathu erukoom.

    First'a they get settled..

    Namba pavama kaeta.. "oh athuvaa.. ennanae theriyala.. Shy.. patha udanae oru bulb yaerinchathu.. eva thaanu pachi solichu. so decide pannitaen"-- appadinnu soluvaanga..

    enna correct thaanae dinesh (just kidding thappa yaeduthu kaatheenga okvaa)

    Shy

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    Moderator.. I thought I could edit my posting... but paatha.. twice posted.. so please delete the first duplicate one .. sorry for the inconvience..

    Shy

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