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  1. #21
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    Venky, u are right.. But what i feel is, should it always be like this.. lying someone to make the other happy?

    Cant it be normal at all? with no lies, but MIL and DIL adjusting to each other and making everyones life a lot better?

    Vasan.. just kidding, i am 200% sure u will handle the situation, just fine..

    Shy

  2. #22

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    Quote Originally Posted by Shy
    Venky, u are right.. But what i feel is, should it always be like this.. lying someone to make the other happy?

    Cant it be normal at all? with no lies, but MIL and DIL adjusting to each other and making everyones life a lot better?

    Vasan.. just kidding, i am 200% sure u will handle the situation, just fine..

    Shy
    :D :D

    (sri ippo vandhu ketkaporan.. yen indha smilie use pannine-nnu... !!)
    just a smile for your comment.. js... ouch... I am forgetting myself.. S H Y!!

    On the note: I hate to put up faces - even white lies to pacify people, especially your loved ones... Kinda feel as though you live a double life.. Frank speaking should help - and let MIL, DIL, BILL, JILL, and HILL just deal with it..

    I mean, we could speak up in understanding and affection with out going out to lying (albeit harmless lies..)
    Short Measures
    It is a wretched taste to be gratified with mediocrity when the excellent lies before us - Isaac Disraeli

  3. #23
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    Right vasan.. U should always be transparent atleast to ur loved ones. why is the need to hide right??

    I totally agree on frankly speaking on situations like this..

    Appuram how come sri branded this smilie as drooling one?

    Shy

  4. #24
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    Quote Originally Posted by Shy
    Venky, u are right.. But what i feel is, should it always be like this.. lying someone to make the other happy?

    Cant it be normal at all? with no lies, but MIL and DIL adjusting to each other and making everyones life a lot better?

    Vasan.. just kidding, i am 200% sure u will handle the situation, just fine..

    Shy
    JSI,

    I know what you mean.... BTW, did you know there is an offical renaming celeberation for SHY.

    It was really great.

  5. #25
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    I am sure things work out 100 % without lies in the real world and that happens when one Adjusts with the other (MIL & DIL).

    People should be positive in their approach and not lie and rest we can leave for the almighty

    Cheers,

  6. #26

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    Quote Originally Posted by Shy
    Right vasan.. U should always be transparent atleast to ur loved ones. why is the need to hide right??

    I totally agree on frankly speaking on situations like this..

    Appuram how come sri branded this smilie as drooling one?

    Shy
    Adhu onnum illai, Shy..

    Naan yedhu panninaalum adhu ஒரு வகையில் drooling thaan-nu mudivu kattitaan... Ennai ottanum romba try panni paarkaran.. பொழைச்சு போகட்டும்..

    சும்மா அவனை வெறுப்பேத் த இதோ இன்னும் கொஞ்சம்

    :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D
    :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D

    Short Measures
    It is a wretched taste to be gratified with mediocrity when the excellent lies before us - Isaac Disraeli

  7. #27
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    Quote Originally Posted by vasan
    Adhu onnum illai, Shy..

    Naan yedhu panninaalum adhu ஒரு வகையில் drooling thaan-nu mudivu kattitaan... Ennai ottanum romba try panni paarkaran.. பொழைச்சு போகட்டும்..

    சும்மா அவனை வெறுப்பேத் த இதோ இன்னும் கொஞ்சம்

    :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D
    :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D

    Yaaro, Yarukko, Yaara pathiyo detail kodukuranga....

    Yaaro, Yaaro melyo verupagi, ore le a poduranga....

    Naan vazhi pokkan but interesting kavanichuttu irruken...

  8. #28

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    hiee friends,
    Great topic, thanks shy
    Well both roles are the same, once daughter- in- law, latter mother- in- law, if she can't adjust in her 1st stage, she will definitely does it in her 2nd stage or vice versa .if all this been maintained, in a situation like, understanding. Sharing, communication tolerable, good listener, and then their path will be smooth, and lastly the common reason is mere jealousy!!

    to be con't........

    gooday

  9. #29

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    venky wrote,
    Oru nalla karayam panarathku 100 poi sonalum paravale. So one lie to wife will keep mom happy and another one to keep wife happy.. In all only 2 poi as to 100 poi.

    I dont think telling poi will get anyone anywhere...coz lies have ways of coming out....& once that trust is gone...how can u trust that person again???

  10. #30
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    No telling Poi will surely not get any where...200 % agree panerain...

    Trust is like a thread... once broken canot be knitted back, only a knot can be tied.

    Satyameva Jayate

  11. #31

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    வாய்மையே வெல்லும் !

    :D
    Short Measures
    It is a wretched taste to be gratified with mediocrity when the excellent lies before us - Isaac Disraeli

  12. #32
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    Oppilappana - uppiliappan akki...

    pooi enbathai poi nu mathi

    irrukuravangala imsai pannurathe namma alungalukku valakama poochu....

    1000 poi(lie) illa 1000 pooi (go) ....

    Trust is always the key for any factor, to get trusted and trusted one should be honest and speak the truth.

  13. #33
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    Adjustment yaar pannina life smootha poogum..

    I mean if DIL adjusts, I think everythign will fall in place. except for ofcourse DIL will feel bad that she cant enjoy her life as she wanted to.

    If MIL adjusts, then not only that family.. relatives, friends and society will talk ill abt DIL, that she sided MIL and is making her life miserable.

    What do u think will be the best option

    Shy

  14. #34
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    Ennakku itha pathi suthama onnume theriyathu 'cause i'm a bachelor.

    General a sollanum na, ellarume humans thane MIL or DIL are not from vera planet, so parasparam enna pannina kovam varum, enna pannina kovam kuraiyum nu pesi vachikalam.

    Mostly ithe mari pesanum endra enna vanthutave, i think the problem can be resolved or atleast they both agree to come on a deal and understand they are also humans.

    Is this impossible?

    Note: Ofcourse, ithai therunchikittu kaduppu etha use panna kudathu...

  15. #35
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    Quote Originally Posted by Shy
    yaen discuss pana mudiyaathu.. think urself in that situation.. guy standing between ur mom and wife.. who do u feel should adjust...

    Entha thinking'la discuss panalaamae

    Shy
    Sri already vasan sonaar like u.. so quoting the same reply for..

    Eppo discuss pannunga, ellai sollungo who do u feel should adjust and why?

    Shy

  16. #36
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    Quote Originally Posted by Shy
    yaen discuss pana mudiyaathu.. think urself in that situation.. guy standing between ur mom and wife.. who do u feel should adjust...

    Entha thinking'la discuss panalaamae

    Shy
    Sri already vasan sonaar like u.. so quoting the same reply for..

    Eppo discuss pannunga, ellai sollungo who do u feel should adjust and why?

    Shy

  17. #37
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    Quote Originally Posted by vasan
    Eppo discuss pannunga, ellai sollungo who do u feel should adjust and why?
    Naan sollirukane....

    Parasparam enna pannina kovam varum, enna pannina kovam kuraiyum nu pesi vachikalam.

    Thats a first step to tackle an issue.

  18. #38

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    Quote Originally Posted by sri_gan
    Quote Originally Posted by vasan
    Eppo discuss pannunga, ellai sollungo who do u feel should adjust and why?
    Naan sollirukane....

    Parasparam enna pannina kovam varum, enna pannina kovam kuraiyum nu pesi vachikalam.

    Thats a first step to tackle an issue.
    Romba rathina surukkama sollavendaam Sri... Parasparam understanding is only the ultimate goal - but how is the road to this paradise (or utopia?!) is paved in the real world, full of not so perfect peopl? That is the million dollar kustin.. ! (I think that is whats aimed at this topic..)

    Yaar anusariththu poganum? Eppadi 'good understanding' and harmony create pannaradhu?
    lets hear your ideas...
    Short Measures
    It is a wretched taste to be gratified with mediocrity when the excellent lies before us - Isaac Disraeli

  19. #39
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    Seri ok...oru detail explanation kodukuren kelungooo....

    I remember i was comparing a women's crying part to a newly born child's situation, But in a different topic.

    Most of the DIL thinks then when they go to MIL's Place, it is a new place where the situation really is not when we have a heart.

    First DIL should start or atleast try to start thinking it is their home, this can reduce some fear. Chumma solla kudathu nanga ellam appadi than think pannurom nu... silenta yousichu partha you know your own fears.

    On the MIL part, they should create and have a heart like if they gave birth to a new child, ofcourse this is easy to do when it is an arranged marriage, it is not bad even in love marriage, ellarume humans thane.

    The major cause for a friction is, people give most priority to the way they grow instead of a basic part which is humanity, manusanga endra unarvai marunthuduranga....ithu eppo reflect agum na.. when they are in trouble....

    This is an interesting topic... Innum neriya irruku.... ippo koncham busy a irruken...please bear with me...

    (Will continue...)

  20. #40
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    Adjustment yaar pannina life smootha poogum..

    I mean if DIL adjusts, I think everythign will fall in place. except for ofcourse DIL will feel bad that she cant enjoy her life as she wanted to.

    If MIL adjusts, then not only that family.. relatives, friends and society will talk ill abt DIL, that she sided MIL and is making her life miserable.

    What do u think will be the best option
    Shy,

    How is that DIL and MIL fight on the first place? Where did this all start? What was the root casue for all this issues between the MIL & DIL?

    (In old times) Could this have been the case?

    a) MIL thought that the DIL is her property ( Servant)

    b) DIL should be treated properly only if she brings lots of dowry

    c) Becasue of this DIL she is brainwashing my son and etc..

    d) DIL thinks that since I am married away, it should be the same with the Groom that he is married to me and the MIL has to rights to interfere in our affairs.

    I am sure if we can come to a root cause of this we can say who needs toa adjust and who needs to co operate.

    Please enlighten me folks

    Venky

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