Cheated & Shattered
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Thread: Cheated & Shattered

  1. #1

    Default Cheated & Shattered

    I was in love with a girl by name ######## 20 years back. after a few years of love making we decided to get married. At a famous temple here at Chennai we both offered prayers as Husband and wife. She was my WIFE by then. I mean it. Both of us were of the same caste. There was no objection from our side. but as usual her father was not for our marriage. she came to my house and fixed a date for marriage. She brought her dresses and kept the same at our house. she asked me to buy wedding sarees & Thaali etc and everything was ready. The fateful day came. but she never turned up. I was shattered. one day we went to her house to discuss the issue and she cooly said that she will marry another person as per her parents wish. those words literally killed me. finally she got married with another person and now staying abroad. with a broken heart i too got married and slowly started to forget the past. She cheated me, she is cheating her present Husband(!), she forced me to hide this matter to my Wife who is a plain woman. inner feelings started killing me day by day and i lost all my courage, mental, physical strength etc. my fate doesn't leave me with that. after a long 20 years gap the unfortunate moment came in my life. recently i saw her in facebook and that's the end of my life. all my feelings which were bundled inside my shattered heart started coming out and for the past few weeks the thoughts about her is fully absorbing my mind each and every second. i lost my sleep. I am not able to eat properly. my heart is paining. i lost all my strength. my health is detoriating. i am not able to concentrate in my work. i am finding it very difficult to act as a normal person at home. i am afraid that i have become mentally unstable. i am not able to share this with any of my friends or family members. i know that there is no use in thinking about her as we can never become together. i am longing for her to speak to me which will soothen my heart. i am not willing to send her a facebook message as she might get disturbed. even if i send her a message to add her to my friends whether she will accept the same or not really worries me and i cant' withstand if she refuses to answer me or accept my friend invitation. i want her to live a peaceful and happy life eventhough she has ruined my life. i am totally confused. every now and then i go to face book and type some stupid love failue lyrics in my notes like a mad man. i am getting different types of feelings like affection towards her, anger about her that after spoiling my life, she is leading a happy life somewhere which provokes me to try and contact her hubby and tell him the fact. but my character advices me to keep quiet and not to disturb her life. i don't know whether i will recover from the present situation. she is repeatedly absorbing my mind each and evey second. i tried meditation but then her thoughts interfere. i pray to God that no one should suffer like me. My question is what harm I did to her apart from loving her out of my heart. WHY DID SHE DO THAT TO ME. She owes me an answer. What should I do?!

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Jan 2004
    Location
    Chalk Country
    Posts
    10,477

    Default

    Seek Counselling, speak to a Doctor
    Seriously, do you need Facebook?????





    PS: is this a spam thing - in which case, I have totally missed the point of moderation- and raining in the sarcasm too
    Cum recte vivis, ne cures verba malorum


  3. #3

    Default Cheated and Shattered

    [QUOTE=Bluelotus;640823]Seek Counselling, speak to a Doctor
    Seriously, do you need Facebook?????

    If i have to visit a psychiatrist, I have to convince my Wife and tell her a valid reason. moreover she will also accompany me.
    Secondly, earlier i used to visit Facebook once in a while. not much activity. but after this episode, i am not able to control myself from frequently visiting FB and looking at her profile etc.





  4. #4
    Join Date
    Jan 2004
    Location
    Chalk Country
    Posts
    10,477

    Default

    A counsellor is not a psychiatrist.
    And as far as I am aware, neither a counsellor nor a psychiatrist will agree to see you with your wife due to patient confidentiality - unless it's about marriage counselling.
    You could easily make up something abt depression to your wife caused by an imbalance in your work-life equilibrium.


    Perhaps it's time to close ye olde FB account and throw away the key ...
    Cum recte vivis, ne cures verba malorum


  5. #5

    Default

    Thanks for your suggestion
    sharing reduces my pain

    PVB

  6. #6

    Default

    Brother PVB,

    Do you remember the story of a fox that had desires to eat high-hanging grapes? When the fox was unable to think of a way to reach them, he surmises that the grapes are probably not worth eating, as they must not be ripe or that they are sour. This story from Aesop's fable must be used to apply situations such as these. One desires something, finds it unattainable, and reduces one's dissonance by criticizing it. Think that your past flame is not worth of your time and devout your time to your family.

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