Would you marry someone who was not a virgin?
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Thread: Would you marry someone who was not a virgin?

  1. #1
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    Default Would you marry someone who was not a virgin?

    Like a virgin
    For centuries, across cultures, virginity has been equated with goodness and virtue. The act of “saving” yourself for the one you marry was a testament to your character and good upbringing.
    As time went on, the premium placed on virginity reduced. Today, most of the western world does not consider virginity an important trait in a partner and having sex before marriage is perfectly acceptable, and often, even expected.
    Remember “The 40-year-old virgin”, a movie about a man who was 40, and horrors of horrors, a virgin?
    Imagine trying to make that movie in India. Safe to say, it would probably not have gotten as many laughs here.
    Virginity in India
    Ours is a country that still values it’s purity and likes its young men and women to be untouched before they get married. There are mothers-in-law who excel in the art of conducting the “virginity test” – a spot examination that includes going into the bedroom of a newlywed couple the morning after their first night together and checking for blood stains on the bed sheets – stains that were purportedly left by the torn hymen of a virginal bride.
    Of course, now, things are changing. Sex between unmarried couples is on the rise and many Indian metros are seeing men and women opting to live-in together without the bond of holy matrimony. Even amongst those who are open to sex before marriage, attitudes vary wildly – from those who see it as an expression of true and undying love to others who view it as a recreational activity between two consenting adults.

    So would you marry a non-virgin?
    We asked a few people on their views on the subject. Would they marry someone who they knew for sure was not a virgin?
    The reactions we got revealed a mostly sexually-liberated lot.
    Who cares!
    For some of those we interviewed, their partners’ sexual past was inconsequential. Like one young man said, “If she’s a virgin, good for her. If she’s not, good for her. It wouldn’t matter anyway.”
    I wouldn’t marry a virgin!
    One young man categorically stated that he would not marry someone who was a virgin. The idea of being his partner’s first and only sexual partner didn’t appeal to him in the least.
    Another girl laughed at the thought of marrying a virgin. To her, sexual experience would make things easier for the couple.
    And then there was the young lady who reckoned that she’d probably get married around the age of 30. And the idea of marrying a 30 something male who was a virgin sent her into a fit of giggles.
    So where do you stand on the subject and marriage and virginity?

    Source http://in.lifestyle.yahoo.com/marry-...095317801.html
    Thanks and Regards
    Radhe Krishna

    Lakshminarayanan

  2. #2

    Default

    Namaste, I'm from the western culture. I love Indian culture and people. I love Geetham radio as well, beautiful music. Here's my contribution to this topic!

    having sex before marriage is perfectly acceptable, and often, even expected
    For girls, looking like a newcomer to a boy is shameful, and the boy expects the girls to be seasoned so that they spend a good night together. A shy girl discovering the thing is a no-go, this is why girls have sex as soon as possible.

    checking for blood stains on the bed sheets
    I've heard about that. It's creepy to the least.

    stains that were purportedly left by the torn hymen of a virginal bride
    The thing is, this is random. Nowadays, girls practice sport at school, and hymens tear easily when practicing aerobics and sport in general (as reported by sport teachers).

    So would you marry a non-virgin?
    I would, but among men, as far as girls who haven't had sex so far, there's gotta be a reason. If a girl is not surrounded by men or if she's still a virgin, it's because she's not attractive, not interesting, not good at the thing, or the like. Have you ever noticed girls no men wanted, then after a long time alone, she suddenly finds a partner, and right away, several men get interested in her, while they weren't before...This comes from collective unconscious.

    Sexual activity is associated with energy and vitality, don't you think? Wouldn't a 30-year old virgin person feel depressed or frustrated? I don't know, just thinking at loud here... I think everyone should follow his/her sexual desires the way he feels like to avoid any inner conflict or frustration. Sexual frustration is a terrible mental affection. See in Europe where many people don't have sex, not because it's prohibited - quite the opposite, the family and friends always ask if the person found a partner - but rather for a bunch of social reasons: you're searching for the perfect person who does not exist, you're ashamed and don't see yourself living with such or such person, individuality, no time to dedicate to some one else, shyness, you think no one likes you, etc...Yet, the governments give premium benefits and incentives to couples who have kids, to try to renew the generations, but this has limited effects. Rather, people stay alone depressed at home instead of looking for a partner.

    As far as marrying a virgin, it affects in no way my feelings, interaction or behavior with my partner. What is important for me is that the person doesn't have bad intentions, is mentally and physically healthy, happy with me. If she had sex before marriage, if she got drunk once by accident or if she had acne as a teenager is of least importance to me.

    We talk about woman virginity but we forget about man virginity. This is deeply macho. If we ask for women virginity, we have to ask for man virginity as well. For both cases, there is no (foolproof) method to test.

    But I respect individuals who are virgin and who only accept virgin partners to marry. Perfectly respectable to me

  3. #3

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    HI there,

    its now normal to lose your virginity. So, it doesn't matter.

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